Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>What to Say?
momma4many 02:18 PM 06-06-2011
I wrote last week about the dcb who I termed after 2 days. Now the parents of the 1 child I have in care (not counting my niece and my kids who are a bit older), are asking if he was here today, etc. I am hesitant to tell them just how out of control he was and about the issues b/c of privacy concerns, but I think they don't like it that their dd is the only "dck" I have. They keep asking if I have had any interviews, etc. I tell them yes, but the hours they need don't fit with mine, etc. Very basic answers, yet the truth. I feel like I should tell them something about him not coming back, but I don't know what. Suggestions?
Reply
sharlan 02:34 PM 06-06-2011
Be honest. Tell the parents that the other child is no longer with you and you really can't discuss why.
Reply
wdmmom 02:34 PM 06-06-2011
I tell all my parents the same thing: I won't share your information with any other family and I won't share another families information to you. The only thing I share are the children's first names and ages. No last names, no parent's names, no addresses, no phone numbers and no attendance.

If they keep asking and you feel compelled to tell them, tell them this:

"It was only temporary. Their regular sitter is back."

If you can't say that because you already said something that would make this appear as a lie, tell them that "the family had an amazing opportunity present itself." And, leave it at that.
Reply
daycare 03:08 PM 06-06-2011
I would just say

*** was not right for our group, we are looking for happy, safe children to join us.

or

In looking out for the best interest of the group or future groups, I decided that he/she was not the right fit for us. Sadly he/she won't be coming back

something along this line.

I don't share personal issues, but will just say they have decided to move on, or will no longer be with us...
Reply
nannyde 03:12 PM 06-06-2011
I make sure that the parents understand that they are here for ME. I don't offer any children, staff assistant, or my son.

I would be honest with her and tell her that whatever child care she goes to that the kids will come and go. This family decided their child needs one to one care (his/her own adult) and because her child and the family children are there you couldn't offer that service.
Reply
momma4many 03:13 PM 06-06-2011
Thanks everyone. I was kind of thinking along the same lines. I don't want to share personal info. He is really pushy, but I don't want to address it if I don't have to. I feel it is none of his business.
Reply
momma4many 03:16 PM 06-06-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
I make sure that the parents understand that they are here for ME. I don't offer any children, staff assistant, or my son.
Really great point/idea. How do you go about this?
Reply
nannyde 04:24 PM 06-06-2011
Originally Posted by momma4many:
Really great point/idea. How do you go about this?
I'm just honest about it upfront. I can't guarantee anyone but myself. My staff assistant could quit tomorrow... the kids could move on...

I want them to place their child here because they want ME to take care of them. I don't want to worry about them being upset because their child is the oldest, youngest, only boy, only girl, attached to my staff assistant, etc. They have to be okay with the worst case scenario which would be just me, their kid, and opposite gender older/younger kids.

I don't promote what kids I have here. I just tell them what my capacity can be. I can have four under two max and the rest all over two. Sometimes I have four under two and four two year olds. Sometimes I have mostly boys or mostly girls. I never offer them a same sex age mate or older child.

Usually a parent is concerned about their child if their child is the oldest. That's the hardest one to work around because they believe their child needs to play with age mates at the least and older kids at the best. In my house it doesn't matter if you are one or five... they all are the "same age" and play with each other.

I don't do best friends. I don't worry about a couple of years age difference.... because there really isn't anything to age differences between ages one and five. No matter what we will make it work. I just keep the babies seaparate for safety. Once they can fully walk they play with all the kids.

I also don't do "how many babies?" because the answer is I can have four. I can easily manage four babies. I can manage one... two ... three ... or four. It's no difference to me. Babies are easier for us than older kids so the more the easier for us.

At my house there's no difference between boys and girls. They all play the same with the same toys. I don't make ANY decisions based on whether a child is a boy or a girl when it comes to play, eating, schedule, outdoor, etc.

So.......... whatever kids are here are here. Your child will have the same experience regardless. The only exception to the rule is the kids that are one year from Kindy or less have a different role in the house. The oldest child that has been here since birth is our pack leader and has the rewards and responsibilities for being the oldest. The second oldest is the heir apparent and fills in when the eldest is gone. That's the best gig I have
Reply
momma4many 06:51 PM 06-06-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
I'm just honest about it upfront. I can't guarantee anyone but myself. My staff assistant could quit tomorrow... the kids could move on...

I want them to place their child here because they want ME to take care of them. I don't want to worry about them being upset because their child is the oldest, youngest, only boy, only girl, attached to my staff assistant, etc. They have to be okay with the worst case scenario which would be just me, their kid, and opposite gender older/younger kids.

I don't promote what kids I have here. I just tell them what my capacity can be. I can have four under two max and the rest all over two. Sometimes I have four under two and four two year olds. Sometimes I have mostly boys or mostly girls. I never offer them a same sex age mate or older child.

Usually a parent is concerned about their child if their child is the oldest. That's the hardest one to work around because they believe their child needs to play with age mates at the least and older kids at the best. In my house it doesn't matter if you are one or five... they all are the "same age" and play with each other.

I don't do best friends. I don't worry about a couple of years age difference.... because there really isn't anything to age differences between ages one and five. No matter what we will make it work. I just keep the babies seaparate for safety. Once they can fully walk they play with all the kids.

I also don't do "how many babies?" because the answer is I can have four. I can easily manage four babies. I can manage one... two ... three ... or four. It's no difference to me. Babies are easier for us than older kids so the more the easier for us.

At my house there's no difference between boys and girls. They all play the same with the same toys. I don't make ANY decisions based on whether a child is a boy or a girl when it comes to play, eating, schedule, outdoor, etc.

So.......... whatever kids are here are here. Your child will have the same experience regardless. The only exception to the rule is the kids that are one year from Kindy or less have a different role in the house. The oldest child that has been here since birth is our pack leader and has the rewards and responsibilities for being the oldest. The second oldest is the heir apparent and fills in when the eldest is gone. That's the best gig I have
Great info, thank you. I never thought to word things this way to parents. I can see how it would make a difference. The family I have now is my first ever, so I just answered their questions to the best of my abilities. I did say that I "could" have six children, but that it will be their child only until I fill the spots I have with children I feel fit my program.
Reply
tulip1969 10:27 AM 06-07-2011
I would just say "after observing him for the two days I had him, the parents and I have decided he is just not a good fit here". If you don't say something they may think the parent pulled their child for something they didn't like about YOU and you are covering it up. Be honest without saying too much.
Reply
Tags:terminated
Reply Up