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  #1  
Old 01-24-2012, 10:08 PM
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Default I Have To Improve Things, Because I Have To Stick This Out

I don't know where to begin. Firstly, the biggest problem right now, is that EVERYONE is sick. But how do I stop the passing it around? Parents send kids hopped up on tylenol and then their fever spikes just before lunch. I send home for the day and then the next. They have already exposed the others, and now they are all coming down with crap. It has been going on for almost a month. I can't remember the last day I didn't send anyone home sick. The parents are getting grouchy from being called all the time, I am getting sick now and I am soooooooo tired of watching everyones sick kids. I am a WELL daycare. They try to blame everything on teething. WTH ever!!! How can I enjoy my job when all I do is care for sick kids? They whine constantly and we have to just continually rotate thru snuggling the sick kids. So. Tired. Of. It.

The naughty kids. I have a few. It has gotten better since I decided to take the power back from a few of them by putting them in pnp's in a seperate room so that they couldn't do everything they could to irritate me more. That has helped. But still, it is a lot of disuption. It takes so much time away from the other kids. Here are the behaviors I am having a hard time curbing:

Running - There really isn't a lot of running room, but they run in circles. It is annoying. I get after them so much about this. I could put my voice on a loop repeating "Walking feet" over an over.

Taking toys from the babies - This is constant too. I think a couple of the older kids like to hear the babies cry.

Hitting/pushing/throwing things at eachother - The older boys are very physical. I almost need a seperate room for each of them!

Disrespect - Being spit at, being told no, my assistant was told "I hate you" by one of the kids. Whatever happened to respect your elders?!

Breaking things - I throw out at least a couple toys a week. Most recently, they have broken roads off of our car table. I keep trying to glue them back on, but they lean/lay on it or smash their cars on the roads and break them free. I am just tired of the disrespect of my things. Also of my home. They kick walls, throw things at the walls. I have chips in some of the walls/sheet rock. I take pride in how my home looks. I just can't believe the disrespect.

Ok, the babies. They are all needy/clingy. It is making it really hard to do anything. The colicky baby screams almost all day. The parents are fantastic, and doing everything they can to change it. The mom feels awful for us, and tells us daily how wonderful we are and that she couldn't do the job we do. I appreciate that. But it is still so hard and tiring. The 8 month old is just whiney. Constant whining/crying. He hasn't started crawling and HATES to be on his stomach still. He has a HUGE head, and can't hold it up well for long. So don't know if he is just tired from holding up his big noggin or what. But tiring. And he is a pretty big so I can't tote him around all day.

Parents. They just take advantage. They leave their kids here the max amount of hours they can. Most of my kids are here from open to close. Whether they need to be or not. That makes me sad. No wonder their kids have behavioral problems! Ten hours a day in someone else's home is a lot. Parents keep breaking rules. No outside food. I have a couple parents who constantly send their kids in with food. Crappy food. Pop tarts, fruit snacks, sugary dry cereal,etc. I have repeated myself so many times, I just stopped and just take the food from the child and either hand it back to the parent or put it in the garbage. Also, kids bring toys. I do the same with the toys. Either put it in the bag/coat sleeve or hand back to the parent. Do they not understand the issues this causes?!

I wish each parent could come work in the daycare for one week each, then maybe they would have a new appreciation of what we do!

Ideas? Things have to change. Only thing is, just getting rid of kids won't work. I need to stay full. I have a waiting list, but most are sibling sets with babies. I do NOT want any more babies!
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  #2  
Old 01-24-2012, 10:19 PM
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Aw hun I am in bed and need to get to sleep but I will respond in the morning. Didn't want to read and run though!
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  #3  
Old 01-25-2012, 02:43 AM
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Default Don't be sad...be GLAD!

I've been following your threads since I joined this forum. They were mildly negative at the start but have grown with such intensity in the last 6 months or so that my HONEST opinion is that it is time for a career change.

This is gonna sound really harsh and I mean it with all due respect, but my mother use to tell me this when I was younger and complained a lot ----

Either put up or shut up!

I understand this is a place to come vent, get advise, what have you ; but after awhile people start not feeling sorry for you anymore. You have 2 choices fix it, or don't...but if you chose not to fix it please quit b*tching about it because, honestly, I am tired of hearing it. Once in awhile I see a post from you that makes me think, Ahhh! She's so happy today! Good for her!, and it gives me hope that you were finally able to get things working smoothly. Then I see it was only temporary, or only when it was a light duty day (and even then I've seen you find something to complain about).

Remember negative energy attracts negative energy and results in negative behavior. Children can SENSE how you are feeling, and they feed / play off of it, even if you think you are hiding it.

Think Positive, Act Positive, BE Positive. Make some lemonade outta those lemons!!!!!!
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Old 01-25-2012, 04:22 AM
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I would play fast paced physical games with them. We blow cotton balls across the floor, crawl over under things as a timed event, over a beanbag, under a table, using arms only. Simon says, statue game,

For the babies I simply hold them while I'm giving orders,

Take a deep breath. Relax. They sense stress
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  #5  
Old 01-25-2012, 06:23 AM
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I am sorry you are feeling this way! I, too, have been feeling a bit frustrated lately. I also understand that while you may need a career change, it might not be possible for you right now.

I think you just need to try and keep positive...which I know can be difficult. Also, maybe try a few new techniques.

Parents taking advantage - I hear that one loud and clear. Could you change your policy to contracted hours vs. all day from open-close? Or maybe look at shaving off a half hour on either end? I used to open at 6:45, and now open at 7:30. That 45 minutes made a huge difference in my mornings. Try looking at what hours you know the parents are at work, and see if there is a way to tweek the schedule.

Running was a problem here, too. When the running starts, could you have them all try dancing? They probably just need to move...if you structure it by calling it dance time, then maybe you will feel better about the craziness and they would get the movement they need to then calm back down.

Taking toys from babies is an easy fix. Try making specific toys "baby toys" and putting them in a separate big kid-free zone.

Destruction of property and toys is a huge annoyance, and can get expensive. Anything outside of normal wear and tear and you could try asking the parents to replace it. I also once took away almost all of our toys after a particularly destructive day, and the kids needed to earn them back with respectful behavior.

Do not tolerate disrespect. If children are rude, enforce a consequence. I think it is part of our job to teach them to be respectful of all adults and all children. The same goes for hurting one another - never allowed, with an immediate consequence.

Babies can be draining! Try setting up a rotating system with your helper, so you both can tap out when it gets to be too much.

I had a particularly tough group one year. To keep myself sane and organized, I literally would sit down each morning and come up with a "schedule for the day broken into 15 minute intervals with whatever choice would be available at that time. It was labor intensive, but gave me a sense of control and structure.

Hang in there! I feel your pain - I really do!
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  #6  
Old 01-25-2012, 06:46 AM
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Maybe you need fewer kids? There would be less confusion, less running around out of control and maybe find some actitives for the kids who are always tearing apart your things?

It sounds like parents are walking on you because you aren't pushing your rules anymore. You were doing the right thing by handing the item back to the parent...maybe hand it back (toy or food) and explain why it causes the issue? I know you've done this, but maybe you have to keep doing it until they get the point!

As for parents using all your hours up even if they don't have to, this is common, everyone here can tell you that. Maybe consider setting up hours for each family, change the rules and up the cost for those that leave their children more then X number of hours and maybe that would help.
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Old 01-25-2012, 07:00 AM
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As far as the sick kids go, in the past when I have had this type of situation where they keep passing everything around, I have taken a long weekend, either 3 or 4 days depending on what has been going on and for how long. I take that time to deep clean everything and hope that when they return they are feeling a little better as well.

When my group gets to running and the walking feet isn't working, I either sit them all down for story time, or continually stand in their way of where they are trying to run.

Your group sounds like it could do with a little tough love from you. Take as much away as you can and leave only a few things out. Tell them they will earn things back when they can behave nicely with things. The boys that wrestle, seperate them.

The fussy babies, I totally hear you with. I have 4 one year olds, and while they are good for the most part, there is 1 that is very difficult. I spend a lot of time sitting on the floor with him while supervising what else is going on in the room.

Send the food back out the door with parents when they send it to daycare. If you don't give it back to them and just throw it away or put it away after they leave, they think it is ok that they brought it.

If you do take a long weekend, spend some time reflecting on the kids in your care. Maybe dropping one or two would benefit you as a provider and your childcare as a whole. The loss of income can be hard, but sometimes it is worth it for your stress and happiness level!
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Old 01-25-2012, 07:12 AM
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I have read numerous of your posts in the past. It does not sound like you enjoy your job at all and also that you have too many kids. I would revamp my budget, drop the assistant and as many kids as possible (the roughest and rowdiest kids first) and then if that did not work out, find a new job.

some of what you are describing can be changed but a lot of it (like kids wanting to run) is just a part of the job. I would imagine that you are so stressed at this point that the smallest thing is irritating you. You are always going to hate your job if you are waiting for it to be perfect. For instance, if you have a rule about food, leave a trashcan on the porch and ALL food is tossed before the child enters the home. If the parents want to toss food everyday after that, who cares? You can't control everything, just what happens in your home. If you send kids home sick every day until the parents get the rules, so what? If they get tired of picking up their kids then they will find a new daycare. Anyone that is masking illness after one reminded about the rules should have been termed anyway.
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Old 01-25-2012, 07:13 AM
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I think it may be time for a major overhaul; over there! Step !: assess the situation:


how many children are in your group total?
How many helpers do you have, ft or pt?
What hours are you open?
Describe or show pics of your space...
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  #10  
Old 01-25-2012, 07:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bbo View Post
I think it may be time for a major overhaul; over there! Step !: assess the situation:


how many children are in your group total?
How many helpers do you have, ft or pt?
What hours are you open?
Describe or show pics of your space...
this. We need more info to help you.
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  #11  
Old 01-25-2012, 07:17 AM
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I'm sorry your having a rough time. I think Jan. and Feb. are hard months sometimes. The weather isn't always good and they can't get out and get rid of some energy.

What I do when I have a group who is like this I put them all in boot camp. Plan on spending most of your energy on every time they run, hit, or break a rule, they sit in a chair, when they get out I let them know they will set down again if they break a rule. Sit them down and make the rules clear to them everyday. Remove most of the toys. I would leave out blocks and a few other things. Then I let the kids that go by the rules play with special toys. I have a doll house they love and if they go by the rules they get a turn at it, usually 2 at a time. I also don't use words like walking feet, I say in a loud semi mean voice, no running. Using words like walking feet is to nice for me.

As for the parents and the sickness, I'm dead on blunt. They bring a kid who gets a fever later, I send them home. Sickness is a hard part of daycare and I make it clear if they keep it up they will be let go. The same thing with breaking food rules or anything else, I call them out on it right to their face to make sure that they understand.

I really don't have any suggestions for babies. I don't take a lot of babies anymore.
Hang in there it will get better.
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Old 01-25-2012, 07:21 AM
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My first thought after reading your post is that (particularly the older children) the kids are bored, and therefore running amok. I know if I don't keep my older kids busy with some type of activity they get crazy. I also try a mix of quiet and active things, which also helps. If all else fails, they get separated into groups of two in different areas with quiet things to do.

As far as the babies go - you have to remember that they will outgrow their needy/clinginess/crying jags. They are only little for a short time and chances are they will be great kids once they get past the infant stage.

I also agree with the PP who say you may have to scale back a bit on the number of kids you have if you want any sort of sanity at your place.
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Old 01-25-2012, 07:44 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by morgan24 View Post
I'm sorry your having a rough time. I think Jan. and Feb. are hard months sometimes. The weather isn't always good and they can't get out and get rid of some energy.

What I do when I have a group who is like this I put them all in boot camp. Plan on spending most of your energy on every time they run, hit, or break a rule, they sit in a chair, when they get out I let them know they will set down again if they break a rule. Sit them down and make the rules clear to them everyday. Remove most of the toys. I would leave out blocks and a few other things. Then I let the kids that go by the rules play with special toys. I have a doll house they love and if they go by the rules they get a turn at it, usually 2 at a time. I also don't use words like walking feet, I say in a loud semi mean voice, no running. Using words like walking feet is to nice for me.

As for the parents and the sickness, I'm dead on blunt. They bring a kid who gets a fever later, I send them home. Sickness is a hard part of daycare and I make it clear if they keep it up they will be let go. The same thing with breaking food rules or anything else, I call them out on it right to their face to make sure that they understand.

I really don't have any suggestions for babies. I don't take a lot of babies anymore.
Hang in there it will get better.
this is really good advice and works really good.
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Old 01-25-2012, 08:09 AM
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Rowdy kids:
How much ability would you have to term the worst offenders?

Are there any kids who rile up everyone else, meaning that when those kids aren't there everything runs more smoothly?

What about sitting down with the parents of all the worst kids and making a behavior improvement plan, making them understand that the destruction and disrespect are NOT acceptable? That they are on notice that if their chlidren's behavior does not improve in (30 days? six weeks?) they will be looking for different care?

What about sending them outside with your assistant whenever they get too wound up, trying to work off that excess energy?

Sickness:
Close for a couple days (hell, close tomorrow and Friday!) and send home a copy of your sick policies with the information that you will be cracking down on them to keep everyone healthier. As of now, adopt catherder's sick policy (if they are kept home it's 24 hours exclusion, if they are sent home it's 48), and consider making "dose and drop" punishable by immediate termination. Closing will accomplish several things: allow you to recover, physically, as well as emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Allow you to clean everything and disinfect. Allow you the time to rearrange and try and curb some of the other problems.

Disrespect and Destruction:
It sounds like the train table needs to go. They are not using it correctly. Any toy they are using incorrectly/being too rough with, needs to be taken out of there. Or, if they aren't managing that, then leave them with nothing but soft baby toys, things that will hurt nothing and no one if they are thrown, squished, stomped on, etc. YES THEY WILL HATE IT. But if you keep explaining to them why they are left with these things, they will eventually get it.

If you have some who are well-behaved, temporarily set-up a special room for them where they have toys to play with, and split the group up--your assistant with one group and you with the other.

Babies--it sounds like you need a separate baby play space, with a super yard or something, to protect the babies from the bigger kids and prevent the bigger kids from reaching the babies.

Parents: Crack down on your policies. You are already handling the food thing by turning it away at the door. You are already handling the toys by turning THEM away at the door. You need to crack down on the hours by only allowing contracted hours--send home a letter (maybe wait a few weeks) about the need to either trim your hours or raise your rates. Include a "survey" about what each family's real care needs are. Or consider changing your rates to a sliding scale where the longer they are in care per day, the more expensive it will be.
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Old 01-25-2012, 08:12 AM
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YOU have the power to change things......you just need to do it.

It IS hard but it isn't going to fix itself. Take control of your business.....even if that means cleaning house. Anything has to be better than the way it is going right now!

We can support you and give you advice but we can't do it for you....
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Old 01-25-2012, 08:33 AM
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You need a new approach than just heavy handed discipline plain and simple. It seems that this is what you do and there is no changing that. I would start reading some books on behavior management and start implementing them NOW. Take a week off to read and start monday morning with your new tactics. Ask for book recommendations from people on here who have dealt with issues and came out the other side using a new approach. I wouldn't be able to do what I do without the books I've read.

It doesn't matter who you get rid of, this process will continue to repeat itself without a discipline plan other than what you're doing. Sorry that is how I feel
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Old 01-25-2012, 08:37 AM
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Make changes. Sometimes when I feel like I am up against a wall or in a rut, I move things around. It helps me to get a new perspective. I look at the kids, and the ages and I alter the surroundings to fit their needs. It's very normal for kid's to run. Take them outside to burn off energy. Bundle or dress for weather and get them out. Boys especially need to move more then girls. Be one step ahead of your bunch. The baby, might not like floor time, belly time- but he needs it. Let him fuss. Put a toy out of his reach by a little and he can try to get it. I also have, a ladybug turn table- can't think of the name of it. It is for belly time. Don't be afraid to let the baby fuss while you carry on (annoying yes) but if you have done everything, you should not have to carry a child all day long. Connect with other providers in your area to get ideas and another place to vent. I understand where the stop complaining and find another career is coming from, but I think for a lot of us providers, we come here to let it out, and don't realize that we come across the way we do. I think all of us could use more positive- its that time of the year

If you want your daycare to be professional, come across that way even if you don't always feel that way. Get your policy book in place and go with it. Be consistent. If you have a waiting list and feel ok with this. Send home sick kids and tell them they can't return with out a Dr.s note- if you have a well child policy and they are sending them in sick- your right to send them home. Parent's are not going to like it. I always try to ask if a child does not look well when they come in when the last time they gave them any medicine.......then you can ask, were they running a temp etc..

Ware and tare on your home is a downside to this, be one step ahead of the culprits. Keep the kids busy and teach them. Many children don't know and home life is not the same as life within your home. They are adaptable to learning your rules. Consequences, patience, tone of voice.

If you have an assistant- expect them to help where you need it. Delegate strongly.

Figure out why your doing this and get back to the root of that. Best-
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Old 01-25-2012, 08:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariana View Post
You need a new approach than just heavy handed discipline plain and simple. It seems that this is what you do and there is no changing that. I would start reading some books on behavior management and start implementing them NOW. Take a week off to read and start monday morning with your new tactics. Ask for book recommendations from people on here who have dealt with issues and came out the other side using a new approach.

It doesn't matter who you get rid of, this process will continue to repeat itself without a discipline plan other than what you're doing. Sorry that is how I feel
There is definitely a ring of truth to what Ariana is saying about repeat behaviors and empowering yourself with knowledge

Here are a few books that are great for this:
http://www.amazon.com/Positive-Disci...7505675&sr=1-2

http://www.amazon.com/How-Handle-Dif...7505828&sr=1-9

http://www.amazon.com/Dealing-Diffic...ref=pd_sim_b_6
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Old 01-25-2012, 09:06 AM
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I agree- there is a time and place to terminate. Many on here are always quick to say terminate. I say deal. Figure it out. They are little people and all are different and come from different places. Work with them until you have exhausted all efforts.
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Old 01-25-2012, 09:09 AM
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I agree with the others who said that children can sense when you are stressed. They can also sense when you are confident. You have to believe in yourself and that you can make things change! The children and parents will both sense your confidence.
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Old 01-25-2012, 09:29 AM
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IMHO, you need to get yourself and the kids out and away from the house. Start taking daily walks with the kids to a local park, let them burn off some of that energy.
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Old 01-25-2012, 09:46 AM
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Originally Posted by My3cents View Post
I agree- there is a time and place to terminate. Many on here are always quick to say terminate. I say deal. Figure it out. They are little people and all are different and come from different places. Work with them until you have exhausted all efforts.
That can be a dangerous thing to do when you personally know you are at your limit and cannot continue the way things are.

Provider burnout and high stress levels make a risky situation for children.

Terming is often suggested for the mental, emotional and physical health of everyone involved.
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Old 01-25-2012, 09:48 AM
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I appreciate everything said. The hard to hear stuff, and the advice. I will take some time to look it all over. I have always loved kids. I have always been the person in the gathering that ends up where the kids are to play with them, snuggle them, etc. But 10 hours a day, with kids suffering from lachadaisical parenting, it has made it hard to handle. A good friend of mine who did daycare for years warned me, it is the parents who will ruin things for you. She was 100% dead on. While I do have a couple parents that are wonderful, it is the others that are making this miserable. I am going to put an ad on CL or something and see what I can find and try to weed out some of the troublesome kids/parents. I guess in the interviews I need to ask some tough questions about their parenting styles/philosophies?

It makes me sad to think about just how negative this job has made me. I have ALWAYS been a glass half full type of gal. But I am getting so worn down. I am NOT this negative in real life. You guys are just lucky enough to get to read my raw emotions and honest reactions to things going on. And it DOES make me feel better to vent. I guess I should be more careful about how much I vent. It has just been really tough lately. The parents remind me of a teenager that you have to continually remind of the rules, and they break them over and over and find sneaky ways to get away with it.

I guess it's time to get super tough. Not really sure how to do it, but I guess whatever I do I have to be prepared to lose kids. Oh, and for the ones asking my stats, here they are:

I have 11 daycare kids. Ages are 7 (only after school), 3.5, 2.75, 2.5, 2, 1.75, 1, 1, 1, 8 mo, and 4 mo. I have a full time assistant. I have a lot of littles right now, but they are not all here every day. I have 4 part timers (the 3.5, 2.5, 2, and 4 mo). I am open from 7 AM to 5 PM. My last kids are usually picked up at 5:20. M-F.

Can't remember if there were other questions, but that is a start.
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Old 01-25-2012, 10:08 AM
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SAHM_
One thing I loved about having an assistant years ago is that occasionally got to spend a little time with each child alone. I would take one for a walk each day, just that child and I for 15 minutes or so. Perhaps this is something you could do? If you have to take a baby along in a stroller to keep within ratios, that's fine, but ideally, 15 minutes of alone time with each child a couple times a week might make make everyone happier. You will bond with the children more as individuals, and they will feel more in tune with you. Being outside, appreciating nature together, can be very peaceful, too.

If you cannot leave the building for this, then take each child into your office for 15 minutes however often you can fit in. Play a game or work on a puzzle together. Let all heck break loose in the other room-the assistants can handle it for 15 minutes a day! Afterwards, make sure they get a break, too!

I would hold a parent meeting, and lay down the rules. NO kids, and attendance is mandatory if they would like to remain in your program. Tell them that the next time anyone dopes and drops, they are terminated.

Then, it's divide and conquer, baby!

Take the weekend, pay your staff to come in for a couple hours (or offer them a pizza in trade), and revamp your environment. Scale down your toys to 1 or two toys per walking child, and put them in a fairly small area. Everything else, put up on shelves, preferably were it can be seen, but not reached. Until the children earn the PRIVILEGE of using them, you dole them as trades for something they already have. IF something is being abused, it get put up. This can be the "preschool zone." Anyone who goes into that area, cleans up before they leave.

Your infants need a safe place, such as a "supergate" system, to play without being trampled or mauled. Get a big bucket, fill it with freshly cleaned infant/toddler toys, and label it "BABY TOYS". It goes into the "BABY ZONE".

So, now you have two "zones". The rest of your space, make the "gym" area. Go on a cardboard box hunt, call the local appliance store, and ask if they will give you a couple appliance boxes. More cardboard boxes of different sizes, oatmeal containers, soft balls, foam mats, etc. You could also add some silk or poly scarf squares, and acrylic mirror, and some dress up crowns in a basket.

I don't really know your space, but those are some ideas, anyway...
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Old 01-25-2012, 10:12 AM
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wow, you do have a lot of little ones, even with an assistant. I don't know what you are paying the assistant but perhaps it would be worth it to let her go and then drop as many kids as you can.

I mentioned terming earlier not because it is the thing that will for sure fix the situation or be some magic cure all but because we providers need to know our own limits and when to say "no more kids". Just because a person likes kids does not mean they are prepared to do daycare for 50 hours a week. Being a provider is a lot more than just liking kids. I think you need to be honest with yourself about how much you, your space and your resources can handle.

For me, my max is 6. Thats the magic number where everything flows and we are all happy on a daily basis (although occasionally issues roll around). Seems like every time I take a 7th, things start getting hairy and stressful. I can do 7 if I have too but forget about doing 8 or more. Its too much for me and I am not going to try and be super-provider and fill up the house and such. I have very close provider friends that do twice, sometimes three times as many kids and they do just fine but that is not the right scenario for me. It means cutting back on our budget and doing without but hey, I am happy and that is what is important. My kids need a happy mom and my husband needs a happy wife. You cant put a price on that.

I have had a full time assistant and more kids (actually tried out several assistants, scenarios, even two different homes!) and it just never worked for me. I have a part time assistant right now (like 4 to 6 hours a week) and that is what is right for me. It was not worth it to have a full time asst. and have to take the extra kids to pay her.

The rest of the stuff that you mentioned can get better but its never going to go away. Parents can get annoying, kids break stuff and get rowdy, babies cry....thats all a part of the deal.
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Old 01-25-2012, 10:14 AM
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Ariana Ariana is offline
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You rock Blackcat!!

I have also heard good things about 1-2-3 Magic and it's what was implemented in a daycare where I worked for a kid who was out of control (luckily not in my group!)
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Old 01-25-2012, 10:21 AM
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You rock Blackcat!!

I have also heard good things about 1-2-3 Magic and it's what was implemented in a daycare where I worked for a kid who was out of control (luckily not in my group!)
I've never used it either but have heard some good things about it too

I was checking out the web-site and you can access their newsletters and they look really helpful. http://www.parentmagic.com/classroomsolutions-view.cfm

It's worth looking into...
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Old 01-25-2012, 10:24 AM
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I've never used it either but have heard some good things about it too

I was checking out the web-site and you can access their newsletters and they look really helpful. http://www.parentmagic.com/classroomsolutions-view.cfm

It's worth looking into...
I have read the book and already use it. Thanks for the suggestion though! With some of the kids, it does help. With the ones with more severe behavioral issues, not so much.
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Old 01-25-2012, 10:25 AM
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I should also add that Super Nanny has a pretty good approach to discipline as well. I use some of her ideas and have her book. I'm not a fan of time-outs so I don't do that but you might find it useful. It's always good to read a few different books because as we all know not everything works on every kid so it's good to have a few tricks up your sleeve
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Old 01-25-2012, 10:33 AM
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Originally Posted by sahm2three View Post
I have read the book and already use it. Thanks for the suggestion though! With some of the kids, it does help. With the ones with more severe behavioral issues, not so much.
I PM'ed you too
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  #31  
Old 01-25-2012, 10:57 AM
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Originally Posted by MN Mom View Post
I've been following your threads since I joined this forum. They were mildly negative at the start but have grown with such intensity in the last 6 months or so that my HONEST opinion is that it is time for a career change.

This is gonna sound really harsh and I mean it with all due respect, but my mother use to tell me this when I was younger and complained a lot ----

Either put up or shut up!

I understand this is a place to come vent, get advise, what have you ; but after awhile people start not feeling sorry for you anymore. You have 2 choices fix it, or don't...but if you chose not to fix it please quit b*tching about it because, honestly, I am tired of hearing it. Once in awhile I see a post from you that makes me think, Ahhh! She's so happy today! Good for her!, and it gives me hope that you were finally able to get things working smoothly. Then I see it was only temporary, or only when it was a light duty day (and even then I've seen you find something to complain about).

Remember negative energy attracts negative energy and results in negative behavior. Children can SENSE how you are feeling, and they feed / play off of it, even if you think you are hiding it.

Think Positive, Act Positive, BE Positive. Make some lemonade outta those lemons!!!!!!
I like the positive energy vibe but that was a little harsh. I feel that way sometimes, and this is a great forum to vest and get other people's points of view. I am super sick of the sick kids coming too, and of the take advantage parents, and the rule breaking, etc. We can't all change careers, unfortunately. I know I HAVE to do this right now for my kids because they would not do well in daycare. I quit a very high powered job to do this because my kids need me and can't go back to my career until the are little older.

When I have sick kids (and nothing grosses me out more, just for the record), I section off my playroom with the big superyard, and try to keep everyone separate. It is a lot of work, but if you do it esp on a thursday or friday, you can keep everyone away from each other and they also have the weekend to heal (if they dont pick up something else, that is). That means no babies sharing the same toy at any point. Every time I change a diaper I wipe hands and mouths. As soon as the kids get dropped off they have to wash their hands or use the instant sanitizer before they enter the room with anyone else. When they leave, I spray everything down with vinegar and water and just let it sit there and dry (its antibacterial). I also open the windows for 10 minutes to air out each room the kids were in, yes- even in the dead of winter, to circulate the air and get the germs out. The older ones know to cough/sneeze in their elbows too. I also use lysol spray.

Even withall of these precautions, usually at least 1 other kid gets sick, but this helps to keep everyone from getting ill.

I feel or you- I am right there with you on this See if any of those suggestions help you. Hang in there!
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  #32  
Old 01-25-2012, 11:21 AM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
That can be a dangerous thing to do when you personally know you are at your limit and cannot continue the way things are.

Provider burnout and high stress levels make a risky situation for children.

Terming is often suggested for the mental, emotional and physical health of everyone involved.
I agree- there is a time and a place for terming. If you have exhausted all efforts.....yes.
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  #33  
Old 01-25-2012, 11:36 AM
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Originally Posted by sahm2three View Post
I appreciate everything said. The hard to hear stuff, and the advice. I will take some time to look it all over. I have always loved kids. I have always been the person in the gathering that ends up where the kids are to play with them, snuggle them, etc. But 10 hours a day, with kids suffering from lachadaisical parenting, it has made it hard to handle. A good friend of mine who did daycare for years warned me, it is the parents who will ruin things for you. She was 100% dead on. While I do have a couple parents that are wonderful, it is the others that are making this miserable. I am going to put an ad on CL or something and see what I can find and try to weed out some of the troublesome kids/parents. I guess in the interviews I need to ask some tough questions about their parenting styles/philosophies?

It makes me sad to think about just how negative this job has made me. I have ALWAYS been a glass half full type of gal. But I am getting so worn down. I am NOT this negative in real life. You guys are just lucky enough to get to read my raw emotions and honest reactions to things going on. And it DOES make me feel better to vent. I guess I should be more careful about how much I vent. It has just been really tough lately. The parents remind me of a teenager that you have to continually remind of the rules, and they break them over and over and find sneaky ways to get away with it.

I guess it's time to get super tough. Not really sure how to do it, but I guess whatever I do I have to be prepared to lose kids. Oh, and for the ones asking my stats, here they are:

I have 11 daycare kids. Ages are 7 (only after school), 3.5, 2.75, 2.5, 2, 1.75, 1, 1, 1, 8 mo, and 4 mo. I have a full time assistant. I have a lot of littles right now, but they are not all here every day. I have 4 part timers (the 3.5, 2.5, 2, and 4 mo). I am open from 7 AM to 5 PM. My last kids are usually picked up at 5:20. M-F.

Can't remember if there were other questions, but that is a start.
How many and what ages are you allowed to have by yourself?
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  #34  
Old 01-25-2012, 01:48 PM
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How many and what ages are you allowed to have by yourself?
I am licensed for 12 kids. On my own, I can only have 4 under the age of 2 and 2 of those under the age of 1.
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  #35  
Old 01-25-2012, 02:02 PM
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Originally Posted by sahm2three View Post
I am licensed for 12 kids. On my own, I can only have 4 under the age of 2 and 2 of those under the age of 1.
For me, the littlest one, the afterschooler, and the part timers would go, and so would my assistant. Sometimes the Chaos of more kids AND another adult is worse than being by yourself! If you keep the ones "in the middle", an you do it by yourself? Could your assistant start her own program? Is it possible to create two seperate areas, and split up the group somehow?

PT baby who wails all the time...no way! Even with the assistant, I couldn't do that. That alone creates a certain amount of "vibe"!
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  #36  
Old 01-25-2012, 02:11 PM
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JaydensMommy JaydensMommy is offline
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I have only been doing daycare about two years. I started as a small daycare on my own with 6 children including my son. At first I took what I could get. The parents were all wonderful but I ended up with a couple of infants that cried allll day. I told my husband I couldn't do this job and I felt like quiting. I thought about how I might feel without the infants, I thought that might change things and make it sooo much easier. So for my sanity I termed both babies. Now, I only take ages two and up. I now have 12 kids ages 2-4 and a full time assistant and feel like this is something I could do for a long time. I can actually say I love my job. But had I kept those babies I'm sure I wouldn't still be doing this. So, just a suggestion but maybe only taking older kids might make things easier for you.
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