Another reason I never co-slept with my children...

http://www.channel3000.com/news/Baby...z/-/index.html

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This was death due to electrocution. Sounds like a very unsafe environment and not a safe way to cosleep.

The rules of safe cosleeping were not followed here. Suggesting that it was cosleeping that killed the baby gives those of us who do it safely a bad rap.

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I know... but if something so rare like this can happen... WOW! Freaks me out!!

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It is always sad to hear about the death of a child due to any circumstance, especially while sleeping in the loving bed of their parents. But I think co-sleeping gets a bad rap. If you cosleep safely and properly, infant deaths will not occur.

An article about how co-sleeping saved a child's life:

http://mamalady.wordpress.com/2012/0...pnea-and-sids/

Another article about the benefits of co-sleeping

http://carlabeharryhomeopathy.com/sl...o-sleeping-co-
breathing-mothers-breath-acts-as-a-pacemaker-for-infant-breathing-patterns/

An exerpt from the second article:

•Researchers have discovered that the lining of the nose is rich in receptors that may affect breathing – it is proposed that mother’s breath and/or smell stimulates some of these receptors, and thus affects baby’s breathing… one of the main gases in an exhaled breath is carbon dioxide, which acts as a respiratory stimulant.

•Researchers have recently measured the exhaled air coming from a mother’s nose while sleeping with her baby. They confirmed this logical suspicion that the closer baby is to mother’s nose, the higher is the carbon dioxide concentration of the exhaled air, and the concentration of carbon dioxide between the face-to-face pair is possibly just the right amount to stimulate breathing

Perhaps these mutual arousals allow mother and baby to “practice” waking up in response to a potential life-threatening event. (If SIDS is a defect in arousability from sleep, perhaps this practice would help baby’s sleep arousability mature.)



Dr. Sear’s study revealed that babies breathed better when sleeping next to mom than when sleeping alone:

•Infant’s breathing & heart rate were more regular during shared sleep, and there were fewer “dips,” or low points in respiration and blood oxygen from stop-breathing episodes.


•On the nights that babe & mom slept together, there were no dips in baby’s blood oxygen.


•On the nights when babe slept alone, there were 132 dips.


•By 5 months of age, the physiological differences between shared and solo sleep were less.
~

Other reasons to consider some type of co-sleeping arrangement

(whether babe is in mom’s bed, or beside her in a co-sleeping bed):

•Many babies need help going back to sleep because of a developmental quirk called object or person permanence. When something or someone is out of sight, it is out of mind. Most babies less than a year old do not have the ability to think of mother as existing somewhere else. When babies awaken alone in a crib, they become frightened and often unable to resettle back into deep sleep. Because of this separation anxiety, they learn that sleep is a fearful state to remain in …

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Completely heartbreaking situation but to imply that the child's death was because of co-sleeping is totally unfair.

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The baby didn't die from co-sleeping. She died from electrocution.

I never co-slept. As a young mother, my pedi said to NEVER, EVER bring my daughters into our bed, not for any reason, especially not to nurse. He also said to keep the bassinet in whatever room the child would be sleeping in, don't bring it into our bedroom. Being young, I listened and followed what he said. Doctors know everything, right?

Having said that, millions of parents world-wide successfully co-sleep with their infants without any issues.

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Do you have a "baseboard heater, a metal bed frame and a frayed extension cord with an exposed wire"?

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Everyone said exactly what I was going to say.

Better to think twice about how your phrase your post OP, so you dont come off uninformed.

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This is MY opinion only. I respect that others feel differently.



STATEMENT : "I co-slept with my baby and he/she was just fine."

SAME AS.....

STATEMENT: "My grandfather was a smoker and lived til he was 97, so
cigarettes are perfectly harmless."


In this case...the child was electrocuted. But death could easily have been suffocation as it sounds like the parents were not very responsible.

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I think the OP said co sleeping because had the baby been in a crib or bassinet it wouldn't have happened? Just a though...

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I totally 100% agree with meeko! Just because you have done it, doesn't mean it is safe.

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I coslept and I did it safely.

There are safe and unsafe ways to cosleep. It is a very intimate, personal choice, and I was judged by people, and I was applauded by people.

I don't judge people for not cosleeping.

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Sorry but there is NEVER a safe way to co sleep. So many babies die from this.

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WELL SAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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EXACTLY!!!!! Sure the baby didnt die from suffocation BUT if the baby was in the crib the baby would still be alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I was going to stay out of this until I read this comment. To compare cosleeping to toxic chemicals being inhaled into the body is extremely offensive to me.

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Me too!

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Always a heated topic.

This 3 month old child probably would not have died by "electrocution" if he had not been sleeping with mom.

I chose to not co-sleep for a number of reasons some of those being the amount of deaths of infants smothered in the parents bed around the time I had children, babies getting wedged between wall and bed, and babies falling out of parents beds to the floor.

Other reasons are that I chose to have a healthy sexual relationship with my husband and did not feel that we could if we were sharing our bed with our children. Also I like to sleep. It is one of my favorite hobbies, if I'm sleeping with a child that doesn't lay still I don't get a good sleep and if I don't get sleep I'm a grouch. Another reason is that my husband and I wanted to go out on occasion and I could not expect nor did I want someone else to sleep with my child to get them to sleep.

I just read an article about SIDS and that they are finding that less infants die of SIDS in rooms with fans, particularly ceiling fans. Some babies lungs aren't strong enough to push their breath away and that they breathe in their own carbon dioxide and die. The fan acts as a way to move the air from their face. My son just had a co-worker that lost their son. He was sleeping in bed with both parents facing him and died because he was not breathing in oxygen, he was breathing their combined carbon dioxide.

Imo, you make the choice to co-sleep, I did not.

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I didn't mean to offend...like I said...just MY opinion. There are risks with any activity and I didn't care to take the risk of co-sleeping with a baby.

And I'm sorry if this is TMI...but my husband and I have "spooned" since we were first married 31 years ago. Neither of us could imagine our relationship with a child lying between us. We have four children. We love them very much. But they will all be gone their own way one day and it will just be me and hubby. He is the most important person in my life. I can't imagine just having to wave at him from the other side of our bed LOL!!!

As for the toxic chemicals.......babies have died inhaling the carbon-dioxide produced by their own parents while sleeping.

So it's a personal decision. I choose not to.

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[quote=Childminder;226791]Always a heated topic.

I chose to not co-sleep for a number of reasons some of those being the amount of deaths of infants smothered in the parents bed around the time I had children, babies getting wedged between wall and bed, and babies falling out of parents beds to the floor.

Other reasons are that I chose to have a healthy sexual relationship with my husband and did not feel that we could if we were sharing our bed with our children. Also I like to sleep. It is one of my favorite hobbies, if I'm sleeping with a child that doesn't lay still I don't get a good sleep and if I don't get sleep I'm a grouch. Another reason is that my husband and I wanted to go out on occasion and I could not expect nor did I want someone else to sleep with my child to get them to sleep.[quote]

My motivation for not co-sleeping was the same as yours. I figured my kids were safer with me fully rested!

Each person has to decide what works best for them and their family. There is no "right" or "wrong" here. You can follow all the "rules" and something still happens, and then you feel like "see....I KNEW that wasn't right for us".

So...sleep with your child or dont, carry them around in a sack on your stomach until their 2...or don't. Breastfeed or bottle feed, cloth diapers or not...teach them to read when they're 12 months old if you feel you must.

Why does everthing have to be one way or another? I don't get it

PS: just dont bring them to MY daycare after you've co slept, slung, and breastfed them until they were 2..

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Do you sleep with exposed wire on extension cords around your metal bed frame? What if the crib had a metal frame and was touching exposed electrical wires? There are too many variables to say that if she hadn't been cosleeping it wouldn't have happened. Exposed electrical wires is a hazard in ANY sleeping situation.

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no kidding!

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I have never heard of babies dying from their parents toxic carbon dioxide. I have heard that a mothers breath can actually prevent SIDS and help a baby to breathe. I attached an article about tht above. Do you have an article or scientific evidence showing that parents' breath causes children to die? I am very curious as to the source.

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I safely coslept with all three of my children. As a pp said, there are risks with any activity, and it is up to the parents to choose which risks they are willing to take. Personally, cosleeping was the only way I was able to get any decent amount of sleep when my kids were babies. It's something that came naturally to us, and we coslept for various amounts of time with each child, depending on what they needed and what worked for us. I would NEVER bash another person for their choice to cosleep or not, and I would never make them seem like a bad person for their choice, as some of the previous posters have. I agree with Heidi in that it doesn't need to be one way or another. What works best for us, may not work for you at all. That's the beauty of being a parent...you get to do what works best for you and your children. Perhaps if the baby would be in a crib, they would have been safer, as it certainly was a dangerous situation. There are ways to safely cosleep, and you know...cosleeping is not anything new, and certainly does not only pertain to us human animals. As parents, we need to do what feels right to us. We should also provide a safe environment for our children, which clearly these people did NOT do.

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There are risks in everything.

Walking down a flight of steps is a gamble of life and death. My mother had a client who ended up in an assisted care facility at 36 years old from falling down the steps. She will never be home with her kids or husband again. She snapped her neck in five places and lives in a state of blinking to communicate.

Anyway, co-sleeping has benefits and risks. Just as anything else.

I chose to co-sleep with my kids. It was what came naturally. I believe it saved my son's life. I woke up startled one night and found him blue in the face and not breathing. I quickly picked him up and gave him a hard smack on the back and started calling his name loudly. He opened his eyes and gasped for air after about a minute. What would have happened if he was in his crib? I have no idea, but the thought sends shivers down my spine.

Only deaths and accidents are reported from co-sleeping. Not incidents like mine. So really even studies can't back up how safe or unsafe it is. Like anything relating to children, accidents happen, people do it irresponsibly and carelessly, and sometimes tragedy occurs.

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The baby was "wedged between the wall and the mom." That does have something to do with co-sleeping.

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This obviously was not a good fit for cosleeping. Something went wrong, and without knowing the whole truth of the situation, we will never know every single detail of what happened. YES, if the baby would have been in a crib, the baby would probably be alive. Does this mean that cosleeping is a horrible thing? How many babies die in their cribs from SIDS or suffocation or any other reason? Does that mean that cribs are horrible and no baby should ever be put in a crib? Of course not. It all depends on the situation. Common sense SHOULD tell you that you should not have a space between the mattress and the wall where the baby can become wedged. Lack of a safe cosleeping environment is why this baby died. Not cosleeping itself.

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Babies should not be put to sleep near space heaters and frayed cords....its sounds to me like this could have happen in a crib, unfortunately. If the parents are comfortable with this environment for an infant, it is likely that the rest of the home wasnt very safe either.

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I'd be happy to send your information outlining the benefits of co-sleeping, or room sharing (baby is not in the bed but in the same room as parents). There ARE ways to be safe. AND there are many babies, unfortunately, that die from unsafe crib sleeping as well.

I realize its a hot topic. We have co-slept. I have no problem with people choosing to do something else but I do have a problem with people that paint all co-sleepers with the same brush and make rash generalization such as the above. I hope that this thread can help us see other views and hesitate before making judgments on ALL parents that chose to co-sleep....or even on ALL parents that chose not to.

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See Childminder's post earlier today.

I have read over the years that babies need lots of oxygen. Not easily found sandwiched between their parents who are both breathing out a blanket of carbon-dioxide.

The bottom line for me is that EVERY SINGLE parent who has ever lost a baby due to co-sleeping, NEVER, EVER thought it could happen to them. They truly believed their baby was safe beside them.

But it happened anyway.

It will continue to happen anyway to parents who never thought it could possibly happen to their baby.

I don't care to risk it. What other people feel is an acceptable risk is up to them. I simply could not live with myself if it was me.

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That's not at all the same. If you smoke, you are 97% sure of suffering for years, and dragging all of your loved ones down for the ride.

Co sleeping can be done safely.

Sleeping alone in a crib is often unsafe. If you put a blanket in the crib with your baby, he or she could suffocate under the blanket.

A local baby had a pacifier in her mouth, she rolled on her side, next to the crib rails, and suffocated because the pacifier was being pushed into her mouth and covering her nose.

But, you never hear "Another baby dies from pacifier use".

( I didn't co-sleep, and probably wouldn't... but, I fully support parents who do)

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I never co-slept with any of my children. I desire my sleep & hubby & I only have a double bed - not much room for the kiddos. In addition I have heard of instances where it is very difficult to get the kids out of the bed after you start co-sleeping. Fine for some but as another poster stated how in the heck do you DTD with a 18-month-old on the bed with you & heaven forbid your 3-year old never wants to sleep in their own bed b/c they have become accustomed to sleeping w/mom & dad. I don't bacs co-sleepers, to each his own but I am curious about those of you who do/did if your kids easily transitioned to their own bed or if you still co-sleep with older kids?

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Well said.

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Is that attached somehow to the big bed? Just wondering that a rolling infant might not roll into the crack? A crawling infant would just crawl right in with the parent anyway? Or could the crib scootch away from the bed and leave a wider crack?

I'm NOT knockin' it, just curious!

I used a bassinet for the first 4-6 weeks with mine, next to me. Occasionally, I snoozed a little while breastfeeding. But, by 6 weeks, they went to their own bed in their own room. They LOVED their bed. It was their space. All but one was sleeping through the night by then, too. If they had been next to me I would have heard every sniffle, and they'd probably still be night-feeding now...

btw, theyre' now 11,14,19, and 22.

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Keeping the air moving around with an overhead fan dramatically reduced the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) by 72 percent, researchers reported.

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/1...ers-sids-risk/

http://www.firstcandle.org/cms/wp-
content/uploads/2009/08/Rebreathing_Carbon_Dioxide.pdf

http://www.lung.org/lung-disease/sud...ding-sids.html

http://www.marchofdimes.com/baby/care_sleeping.html

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Okay, now that my internet service is working....

I think it's hilarious that the co-sleeping debates always begin with the safety of the child, but then ends up really being about the parents' sexual relationship.
With my own children, I often would put them down in the crib, then keep them with me after the first night waking. Dh would get up, quick diaper change if needed, then bring baby to bed so she/he could nurse as long as wanted and I could go back to sleep easily. I got much more sleep that way and still was able to maintain my marriage. I was able to wean them to their own bed in time to give birth to the next one.
By the way, I took the time to learn all the rules for safe co-sleeping and abided by them. It's just like using a car safety seat. Some parents use them correctly, some, not so much. Just because some parents don't install a car seat correctly and a child dies because of it, doesn't mean that no one should ever use that model of car seat, does it?

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I always feel bad when people say that. I mean who ONLY has sex in bed? How boring!

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I never said you shouldn't co-sleep, did I? I only said I chose NOT to. I also mentioned the reasons I did not - we have a smallish bed, I didn't want to infringe on time at night with my DH (& I did not necessarily mean SEX, time with a spouse without a child between us!). I also did not co-sleep b/c I was concerned about having a 4 or 5-year old in bed with us eventually. I am a very light sleeper & I don't think I could have slept well with an infant in my room (not even in our bed, in our room) b/c when we did have a bassinet in our room I stayed awake literally listening for each breath. Not sure why you feel the need to explain why you did or didn't do something - I was simply explaining why I chose not to & asking if any parents who did co-sleep ever had issues getting the children to sleep on their own.

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Because you asked, my friend. Read your post I quoted. You asked how the heck you DTD with an 18 month old in bed with you. I was simply explaining, just like you did. I so not get defensive over my choices. But if you ask, I will explain.

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My point is you made it into a sexual thing & it was not - I stated 3 different reasons, not just sex, so it was not all a sexual thing - just sayin' - don't make it into something it isn't.

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As a mod, I say that this has strayed from the topic and gotten a little heated. If you want to continue the "how the heck do you DTD when you're co-sleeping?!" line, please start a new thread for it.

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You and another poster both brought up the same 2 reasons they chose not to co-sleep, one being sex, the other being quality of sleep. I just explained how I chose to deal with both. Don't ask if you don't wanna know.
It's not just this particular thread. Anytime someone finds out that I coslept with my children the first question is always "how did you get any sleep?" and the second is "how did you have sex?" These are very common questions and I am not offended in the least by them. I will answer openly and honestly. I just find it funny that every conversation I have had about cosleeping turns to those two issues. KWIM?

I really don't care who cosleeps and who doesn't or their reasons why. It's a personal decision. It worked for me, not for you. Not a big deal.

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Sorry. I hope I didn't come across as heated. I'm not upset. But I am done.

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I'm sorry too - I shouldn't have taken it so far. I didn't mean to step across any lines AmyLeigh. No excuses but it is almost that time of month for me

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Hahahahahahah.

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IMO there is no safe way to co-sleep. I mean why risk it?
Debbie

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