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Old 04-14-2010, 07:33 AM
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Default 15 month Old Starting to Hit...Mom's Implying it's From Daycare :(

And I feel bad because it may be her observing another dck and even one of my dds.

Mom says she has starting hitting her at night and throwing tantrums and she never has before. I attribute it to age and her expressing her independence but I do have one dck that is a 23 month boy that is pretty aggressive when he doesn't get his way and has a very hard time sharing so hits and pushes to get toys.

And my 3 year old dd is the queen of tantrums (we work on this daily) so I know the little girl sees those on a near daily basis.

I would just feel terrible if it was her experiences at daycare that are causing these outbursts and not just her age and coming into her own.

Any advice??
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Old 04-14-2010, 07:43 AM
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Just about any kid at that age starts to hit. Yes the child may see it in your daycare but also could start this at home on his/her own as well.
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Old 04-14-2010, 07:54 AM
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Originally Posted by emosks View Post
Just about any kid at that age starts to hit. Yes the child may see it in your daycare but also could start this at home on his/her own as well.
I agree, the child MAY be seeing it at your daycare but there is no way to tell. That is the age of "hitting". I have a 15 month old also and no one else here hits except her. She doesn't hit me but she does hit her mom when she comes to get her.
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Old 04-14-2010, 07:57 AM
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I would probably explain to the mom that you've noticed it, too with other kids and that if the parents and teachers work together, it will be a passing phase. I'd also assure her that I would be keeping a close eye on it. That usually makes parents a bit calmer when they see you aren't surprised but that you are aware and ready to handle the situation. I hope that made sense- I'm waiting on coffee to brew
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Old 04-14-2010, 07:58 AM
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Originally Posted by TGT09 View Post
I agree, the child MAY be seeing it at your daycare but there is no way to tell. That is the age of "hitting". I have a 15 month old also and no one else here hits except her. She doesn't hit me but she does hit her mom when she comes to get her.
It is the same way here. She doesn't hit me but will hit toys when she is frustrated but the minute her mom walks in the door she starts hitting mom.
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Old 04-14-2010, 07:59 AM
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Originally Posted by twinmama View Post
It is the same way here. She doesn't hit me but will hit toys when she is frustrated but the minute her mom walks in the door she starts hitting mom.
YEP! My 15 month old hits toys too.
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Old 04-14-2010, 08:06 AM
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I go through this myself..not exactly with hitting...but my own 4 1/2 year old daughgter is a VERY difficult girl at times..she doesn't like to listen..thinks she can jump off the couch (and she gets in trouble all the time for it)..uses words like "stupid" and sometimes "shut up" (you would be amazed at how she turns Icarly around..I have older girls that love that show), and "I hate you"...and has a hard time accepting the word "no" and whines when she doesn't get her way. She is a daily battler herself and honestly I wouldn't blame parents from shying away because of her behavior at times...she can be sweet too but when she's tired, watch out...her self control is not always there...and it's frustrating to me because I'm big on discipline and respect and she just doesn't get it.

My daycare nephew is turning 2 next month and he's starting to exploite some terrible 2 behavior and I'm afraid my own daughter isn't helping it. I guess the only advice I can give that I have been doing myself is to implement a consequense for her bad behavior and DON'T EVER give in!! It's exhausting...it's hard..and may not seem it's working at times, but if you stick to it, it will. As she gets a little older she is able to find self control more.

I know it's hard to stick to your guns with a difficult child...you just want them to stop the tantrum or negative behavior so you just give in..but I've been down that road with my ADHD daughter that is now almost 13, and I don't want to go down that road again...it's very wearing on my emotions.
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Old 04-14-2010, 08:44 AM
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Monkey see, monkey do. It happens. If she wants to avoid that for her child she'll need to either stay home with her or hire a nanny. Then again it could just be aging into this phase (mine started their "terrible 2's" around that time.) Probably a combination of the two. You'll never know for sure. Like another poster said this should be a passing phase as long as parents/caregivers don't tolerate or reinforce the bad behavior. Just work through it together and all should be well. Good luck.
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Old 04-14-2010, 08:52 AM
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I tell parents there's only two places the children learn all these bad habits and bad words: daycare and church. Then I laugh and say: because we know they never hear them from the tv, or us adults....laugh some more.

Seriously, this is a perfectly normal behavior for this age. The child is pre-verbal and has no other way to say I like you, come play with me; or that was my toy yesterday, and I wanted it again; or will you be my friend cuz I'm feeling lonely. It mostly goes away after they are able to talk. Then it comes back again when they want to say similar things to opposite sex kids around 12 years old. It's even got a title: growing up again. We all go through these cycles.

Prepare the mom for the other behavior that starts soon: biting. That comes back around about 14, only its called kissing then. :0
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Old 04-14-2010, 10:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by grandmom View Post
Seriously, this is a perfectly normal behavior for this age. The child is pre-verbal and has no other way to say I like you, come play with me; or that was my toy yesterday, and I wanted it again; or will you be my friend cuz I'm feeling lonely. It mostly goes away after they are able to talk. Then it comes back again when they want to say similar things to opposite sex kids around 12 years old. It's even got a title: growing up again. We all go through these cycles.
I just noticed with my 15 month old yesterday that she wanted something from the kitchen and for the life of me I could not figure out what she wanted. She got so frustrated she collapsed in the floor and started hitting the nearest toy! So I would go as far to say that it can definitely be a frustration to not be able to verbalize.
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Old 04-15-2010, 07:06 AM
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its part of growing up and being around others they pick up bad things as well as good things. As parents and caregivers we have to deal with this and hope as they grow older they make the right choices.
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