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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>He Was Hitting Me
Unregistered 04:46 AM 11-05-2012
This is a first for me.
I run a preschool: 4 classes, 2 3-hr sessions per week. In one class I have a 3yo who is very smart, extremely verbal, but can also be very difficult. From my observations, he is a child who needs a lot of stimulation, an authority figure, and is lacking in attention. Whenever I have a problem with him, it is during waiting periods or free play. During activities he is great. I have had him for two months now.
My last class he was actually doing really well. Though, at one point he grabbed a stroller from someone. When I went to approach him, he essentially freaked out and started swinging it nearly hitting all the kids in the room. I got behind him and hugged him and gave him a few breathing exercises to calm down. I told mom "he was great, but there was this one incident where I had to put my hands on him to calm him"
Today, he starts playing with the door waiting to go outside. I do my usual discipline techniques; however he really slamming on it. I said, "No" firmly and put my hand on the door (I am at his level at this point) and he hits me. We have a quiet conversation about hitting. We go outside and I can tell I am loosing him as he is throwing his shoes. I do not give him any negative attention, but I do my countdown a little early. I took his shoes and when he is next to me, I put my hands on his shoulders and say to everyone "time to go inside" he freaks out and starts to run. I tell him firmly, "B, I am going to hold your hand and shoulder to walk inside. Do you want to hold the stroller or walk with me". This is usually ok, but he is wiggling so bad I don't want to pull him. I am very calm (I have a lot of paitence). "B, I am afraid I may hurt you [because you are pulling your arms so much], I am going to pick you up now 1, 2, 3" I pick him up on my hip and he starts striking me face. Inside, explain that he will be dismissed because he cannot hit me. I told mom every detail including whenever I touched him.
However, I am nervous that this will be a child I will continue to be physical with and it is not something I am comfortable with. I do move children to quiet areas so we can breath and relax and I do the hand/shoulder to guide a child, but I don't want it to be a requirement. How many more times would you allow this if any? I have him again in two days and already getting really nervous.
I run a preschool: 4 classes, 2 3-hr sessions per week. In one class I have a 3yo who is very smart, extremely verbal, but can also be very difficult. From my observations, he is a child who needs a lot of stimulation, an authority figure, and is lacking in attention. Whenever I have a problem with him, it is during waiting periods or free play. During activities he is great. I have had him for two months now.
My last class he was actually doing really well. Though, at one point he grabbed a stroller from someone. When I went to approach him, he essentially freaked out and started swinging it nearly hitting all the kids in the room. I got behind him and hugged him and gave him a few breathing exercises to calm down. I told mom "he was great, but there was this one incident where I had to put my hands on him to calm him"
Today, he starts playing with the door waiting to go outside. I do my usual discipline techniques; however he really slamming on it. I said, "No" firmly and put my hand on the door (I am at his level at this point) and he hits me. We have a quiet conversation about hitting. We go outside and I can tell I am loosing him as he is throwing his shoes. I do not give him any negative attention, but I do my countdown a little early. I took his shoes and when he is next to me, I put my hands on his shoulders and say to everyone "time to go inside" he freaks out and starts to run. I tell him firmly, "B, I am going to hold your hand and shoulder to walk inside. Do you want to hold the stroller or walk with me". This is usually ok, but he is wiggling so bad I don't want to pull him. I am very calm (I have a lot of paitence). "B, I am afraid I may hurt you [because you are pulling your arms so much], I am going to pick you up now 1, 2, 3" I pick him up on my hip and he starts striking me face. Inside, explain that he will be dismissed because he cannot hit me. I told mom every detail including whenever I touched him.
However, I am nervous that this will be a child I will continue to be physical with and it is not something I am comfortable with. I do move children to quiet areas so we can breath and relax and I do the hand/shoulder to guide a child, but I don't want it to be a requirement. How many more times would you allow this if any? I have him again in two days and already getting really nervous.
Meeko 08:51 AM 11-05-2012
It it was me, his mother would get a severe warning. If it happens again, he's gone. No excuses.
I am also not as polite as you!
If a child acted that way to me and was hitting me, he would get held firmly and put in time out with a resounding "NO!" And he'd stay there until he calmed down and apologized (not the "one minute per year" crap)
I'm old school and I am the one in charge. I am kind and loving, but I am very firm. I don't apologize to the kids for disciplining them and I demand respect.
If you are feeling nervous around a child...then you need to get rid of him. If he thinks for one second that he makes you nervous....you will have he!! on wheels to cope with.
Good luck!
I am also not as polite as you!
If a child acted that way to me and was hitting me, he would get held firmly and put in time out with a resounding "NO!" And he'd stay there until he calmed down and apologized (not the "one minute per year" crap)
I'm old school and I am the one in charge. I am kind and loving, but I am very firm. I don't apologize to the kids for disciplining them and I demand respect.
If you are feeling nervous around a child...then you need to get rid of him. If he thinks for one second that he makes you nervous....you will have he!! on wheels to cope with.
Good luck!
cheerfuldom 08:57 AM 11-05-2012
I am like the PP....I just dont even mess with kids like that (when you know it has been an issue and is escalating). I have zero tolerance for behavior such as that and will term immediately if a kid is that out of control and slapping me in the face. Think of it this way, if (actually WHEN) he hurts someone besides you, you are going to have a hot mess on your hands with an injured kid and outraged parents. If he is needing this much one on one attention and supervision, his parents need to find the right program for him where he will get that. Its not fair to the other kids for his negative behavior to be getting the most attention nor is it right for you to be in a work environment that is so high stress and physical. Its just not safe and it sounds like you know you are at the limit with this one.
Unregistered 01:00 PM 11-05-2012
Thank you for your responses. I needed a good night's sleep as I woke up and agree, this is not normal. Unfortunately, I have gotten personal as I do most my kids and I have to step back and say this is not safe. What he runs out of the park and gets hurt? What if I make a mistake and pull his arm too hard causing injury? So when he comes on Wed, he will be dismissed permanently the first incident.