Okay, so for those of you with your own kids, convince me that caring for your own kids is different than caring for dck's!!

DH and I are planning on starting our family this year but… my dck's have REALLY been stressing me out lately and I'm starting to second guess our decision to start a family anytime soon!! Lately I have been counting down the hours to closing time so I can have a nice quiet dinner with my hubby and we can relax kid-free!

We really do want a family of our own, so does anyone have any words of encouragement?!?

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I was never a fan of kids until I had my own. Trust me, it's a completely different ballgame You will never understand the love you can have for a child until you have one of your own! Daycare kids don't come close in comparison

Edited to add: Not that having your own child isn't very hard work, yes there are days I want to rip my hair out, but at the end of the day it's still different than daycare kids!

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Dck's are MUCH different than your own kids! I'm not saying I don't love my dck's but definitely not in the same way! A lot of the things that dck's do that bother us as providers would not bother us coming from our own kids, it's just different. You do not have that special mommy bond with your dck's. When you have your own kids you will still be looking forward to dck's leaving, but not to have a quiet dinner, it will be to spend time with your own kids

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Ummm, yes it is definitely different. However, I have found that my own children tend to cause me more stress during daycare hours than the dck's . That is where unconditional love comes in for your own children .

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Caring for your own kid is a totally different ballgame than caring for other peoples' kids. The love you have for your own is a love like no other. With other peoples' kids you may enjoy seeing them grow and learn. You may love knowing you are a part of making them happy and successful. With your own kid you are even more invested in doing those things with them than you are with yourself. You are happy for other peoples' children to go home at the end of the day (doesn't mean you don't love them). At the end of the night you are happy to put your child to bed in his cozy room and so grateful he is yours. Somehow God gave you (and the parents of the kids you care for) just the right one. I could go on and on.

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I had my own kids before ever starting a daycare so for me the desire to do daycare came from partially having (and enjoying) children. I babysat as a teen before having my own but like they said, it's just different when they're your own child. But you may want to find a way to balance things a little better if daycare alone is stressing you out. Maybe shorten your hours and load of kids if you do anticipate adding a pregnancy and baby to your home. Daycare is a LOT of work. I can't imagine being newly pregnant and having morning sickness or hugely pregnant and doing it. I have a lot of kids so for me, daycare is kinda normal chaos for me. I still have hours left of work to do when my DCKs are gone!! LOL

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I have totally been thinking the same thing lately!! Im so exhausted by the end of the workday...How in the world will I do this with my own kids?!
I'm glad to see if much different.

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Yes I would have to agree TOTALLY different from DCK's to your own .... you will always have your ups and downs with any child but do NOT let that STOP you from wanting your own family ...... I myself would not change a thing.... mind you there are days that I would love to stop the dc and only deal with my own children.....

Chin up..... It will all work out in the end......

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With your own kids, because it's their space & their stuff, things can be a bit more relaxed. You don't have to worry about doing 20 things at once, there's no pressure to teach them 7 languages, you can just enjoy hanging out...And you are MOM, not über-provider.

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It is completely different!your own children and daycare kids are truly different. Also for me, my kids stress me out a whole lot more than the daycare kids!

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Exactly.

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Yup your own are so different that's why I have four of them lol!

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Beautifully written- totally agree!

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Mine are, for the most part, grown up, so I have a different perspective.

I got into daycare to "stay home" with my oldest, not because I'd always dreamed of working in early childhood. Now that mine are grown, I do it because of all the jobs I've had, it's the best fit all around.

I adore my dck's, but I will admit it is MUCH easier now that mine no longer require care the way little kids do. That said, I don't regret one second of it!
A couple things I would say:

1. If you have a partner that's willing to do half the parenting, and support you emotionally, that is worth so much. I think the tough part for me having small children and doing childcare is that my former dh took so much energy vs. being a true partner. Negotiate terms BEFORE you have babies...who will do what? What is reasonable? How will each of you get "me time". You don't need a ton of it...but you need it. Also, make time for each other. Don't let parenting and parental guilt come between you. Your mom or Aunt Sue can watch the babies for a few hours while you go out for dinner or sneak off to a "no tell motel". It's okay...don't forget that.

2. As a dcp, you have processes to make daycare life tolerable. You probably have a general pattern to your day, and you're probably stricter than most of your dcps. That's good! Bring some of those skills into your parenting, and you will most likely remain sane. So, if you put that little stinker to bed and he doesn't "feel like it"....you KNOW what to do...

3. Remember, YOUR babies, like any, are only babies for such a short time. Before you know it, you will be dancing at their wedding. There will be times when you are overwhelmed, but tape it on your bathroom mirror if you have to. "This too, shall pass" or "Hey, tomorrow...you'll be dancing at their wedding". In other words, appreciate it while you can!

Will it be challenging? Without a doubt! Will it be worth it? Absolutely!

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There is no way that taking care of daycare kids and having your own child can even be compared. Completely, 100%, absolutely different.

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It does go by so fast! When I'm having a difficult time with my kids I remind myself "You're gonna miss this!"

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My two cents

DCKs are generally much easier to care for than your own. Most kids are better behaved for someone who is not their parent. There will be times that you get a challenging DCK. A lot of times you can tell at the interview and then simply not accept them into care. A 2 week trial is another way to determine if a child is a good fit.

You will, however, find that your own kids might even be HARDER to care for most of the time while there are DCK in their home. So that is something to consider as well. A good way to curb that for me is to have low numbers or part time kids. This way your child feels like its more of a play date and doesn't have to struggle for your attention due to the sheer number of children to compete with.

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But keep in mind. You love your own kids much more then someone elses and even when they are stressing you out you still want to hug and kiss and cuddle them. Its a totally different kind of stress.

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I worked in childcare for 8 years before having kids of my own (center based care). I used to think the same thing... "I cant imagine going home to more kids after working with these kids all day! I am so glad I dont have kids yet!" HEHE!

I now have two girls 7 and 9 AND we homeschool. So very few days do I have a time away from kids (except when I sleep). Your own kids are totally different. You love them deeply and are invested in them as people (their attitudes, behaviors, health, education, and so on) I think it is harder than caring for other peoples kids in many ways. But it does not feel like a job, it feels like your life. Thats the difference.

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Yes, that's what I was trying to say! lol

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100% different.

I have a love for my child that is like no other love in the world.

Behaviorally: Your child is with you all the time and your rules/expectations remain the same. DCKs have daycare rules, home rules, wherever else they get left rules,...so to me they are more challenging.

Parent Problems: As long as you and your partner agree on parenting styles for the most part, you don't have to battle parents over every little thing like you do with daycare parents. You don't have to fight for supplies. You don't have to worry about drop off/pick up times.

Your own time: Is it tiring to have daycare all day and then your own kid even when they are gone? Sometimes, yes. Is it worth it? YES! We have different toys, different activities, different spaces in the house to play when we are not doing daycare, so it feels like "family time", not just an extension of the daycare day. I find that my child's noise is very different than daycare noise. I enjoyed her coos and giggles and shrieks. Not so much with daycare.

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I opened my daycare when my daughter was just 3 months old, so I didn't really know what I was getting myself into lol But I definitely feel a different kind of love for her than I do my DCKs. Some of my DCKs I just can't stand lol and others are more like a step-child to me and I'm good friends with their parents. I love my daughter (and now son who is 8 months old), but I do miss having ME time. Between daycare and raising my kids, I feel like it never ends. After we close it's time to make supper, play with them since they don't get a lot of attention during the day, and by the time we're ready for bed I'm exhausted and not ready to start over again......so there are definitely pros and cons to having your own children. Just realize that if you do decide to start a family, being pregnant is EXHAUSTING without working, adding DCKs to it is REALLY, REALLY tough, so be prepared!

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