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Love 02:47 PM 03-16-2017
I would like my boyfriend to move in with me at some point..theres just one problem.. 8 years ago he got into a situation with his "babymama", and when he tried to leave her she got upset and called the cops saying he hit her. Being young and no money for an attorney, he took a plea deal and was given the lowest conviction for assault and just had to take anger management. Now realizing if he just let it go to trial he probably wouldnt have anything on his record, because she had no evidence and it was clear she was crazy. Im wondering if him moving in would affect my license? What CANT show up on a check if the person is living in the house? He would not be around the kids as there is a seperate entrance to the daycare away from the main house. He would never be in contact with the kids.
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Love 02:50 PM 03-16-2017
Also, being 8 years ago, would it even show up?
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daycare 02:52 PM 03-16-2017
Originally Posted by Love:
Also, being 8 years ago, would it even show up?
a member by the name of black cat is from your state and I am sure she would have some advice for you on this.

Here in my state, he would need to be back ground checked if he lived in the home and never even saw a child. I am not even sure in my state how that would work with his situation.

I am sure that you can always call your county office and see what they have to say.
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Love 02:57 PM 03-16-2017
I would call my licenser but she never answers or returns my calls
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Magic 02:58 PM 03-16-2017
I would phone where you get the " police check " and ask them
also on their web site they might even have a list of what and such that they look for with children ...they do here in Canada
and you could also have one done with his current address
and see what comes up
things can go into arbitration ( think that the spelling ) and the people can also make a decion on if they think it is an issue or not
you said it was the lesser of charges so it might go throw fine ,,good luck and keep us posted ....
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Cat Herder 03:32 PM 03-16-2017
Did the charge include Child Endangerment?

They are looking for charges of crimes against children.

Criminal history is permanent.
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Cat Herder 03:44 PM 03-16-2017
"A conviction occurs when a court enters a finding of guilt. This usually happens after a person pleads guilty or no contest, or when a judge or jury enters a verdict of guilt. Here is a partial list of states that allow you to expunge domestic violence convictions: Arizona, Illinois, Minnesota, New Jersey, Nevada, and Utah. States that do NOT allow domestic violence convictions to be expunged include Florida, Texas, and Washington. If your domestic violence conviction is in a state not listed above see or section on choosing an attorney to find one what can consult with you about how to expunge domestic violence convictions."

Source: http://www.expungedomesticviolence.com/
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Love 04:53 PM 03-16-2017
Thank you! I will let him know! When he applied for work, the charge never showed up to the employer. & It was for a computer security position. I think they only go back 7 years. But still wanted to be sure.
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hwichlaz 08:40 PM 03-16-2017
Criminal convictions are permanent. And it's a violent one, so he's probably not going to clear.

Some states don't allow ANY criminal convictions, but have a process for applying for exemption. Exemption is only possible for non-violent convictions.
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Blackcat31 06:07 AM 03-17-2017
In MN we have 15 yr, 10 yr and 7 yr disqualifications.

Depending on the level of his crime (fifth degree, fourth degree etc) he may be disqualified.

Taking a plea is considered "guilty" so it doesn't matter if he did or didn't do what he was charged with or if the ex is crazy or not.

Do you know what level he was charged with?
I have tons of resources and could tell you (fairly accurately) if he would or wouldn't be disqualified.

Do you have children with your boyfriend?
Since he has a child with his ex, I assume he still has contact with her? Does he have contact with his child? Supervised or unrestricted? Did the incident happen in MN?


Not trying to be super personal, but those things ^^ matter.
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Love 09:52 AM 03-17-2017
Yes it happened in MN. His is child is 18 now, but he had normal parenting time (weekends/summers). He did not serve any jail time, so im assuming it was the lowest degree for domestic. I would ask him, but he doesnt know this may be a problem yet and dont want him feeling bad. I tried looking him up online but couldnt find anything. He has a 3 year old daughter as well (different mom)...that he has 50% custody of. Not sure if that means anything. She is in my daycare as well.
Do you know if there could be some kind of stipulation if it is a problem? Like he cant be around the children? Can these things be appealed?
I just find it extremely unfair for him, because all the years ive been with him, he has never shown ANY type of aggression. He is the biggest teddy bear haha.
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Love 10:04 AM 03-17-2017
Not sure if this means anything either but it did not show up on his backround check for his job, im assuming because it was over 7 years. I know in daycare situations it may be diff but just thought i would mention it.
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Cat Herder 10:26 AM 03-17-2017
Originally Posted by Love:
he had normal parenting time (weekends/summers).

that he has 50% custody of.
The first is considered Minimum parenting time and would not help too much in an appeal.

The second is a great thing and will be immensely helpful if it is truly 50% overnight parenting. *The child literally sleeps/resides at Dads house 50% of her life.

Caretaking jobs require a different algorithm for background checks.
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Blackcat31 10:35 AM 03-17-2017
Originally Posted by Love:
Yes it happened in MN. His is child is 18 now, but he had normal parenting time (weekends/summers). He did not serve any jail time, so im assuming it was the lowest degree for domestic. I would ask him, but he doesnt know this may be a problem yet and dont want him feeling bad. I tried looking him up online but couldnt find anything. He has a 3 year old daughter as well (different mom)...that he has 50% custody of. Not sure if that means anything. She is in my daycare as well.
Do you know if there could be some kind of stipulation if it is a problem? Like he cant be around the children? Can these things be appealed?
I just find it extremely unfair for him, because all the years ive been with him, he has never shown ANY type of aggression. He is the biggest teddy bear haha.
Originally Posted by Love:
Not sure if this means anything either but it did not show up on his backround check for his job, im assuming because it was over 7 years. I know in daycare situations it may be diff but just thought i would mention it.
According to the info I have, domestic assault would fall under the 7 yr disqualification time line however IF he is disqualified he can write a letter appealing the disqualification and provide "proof" of not be the type to re-offend by showing his current history (no additional charges) and the fact that he has partial custody of his child now and that he is basically a mature, responsible contributing member of society.

I'll PM you the link to the info.
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Love 11:01 AM 03-17-2017
Yep, he has his daughter every other week. He was granted 50% legal and physical custody when she was a couple months old. Hopefully will be getting full custody soon

Blackcat- Thank you for the message! It makes me feel a lot better.
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CityGarden 11:04 AM 03-17-2017
Originally Posted by Love:
Yes it happened in MN. His is child is 18 now, but he had normal parenting time (weekends/summers). He did not serve any jail time, so im assuming it was the lowest degree for domestic. I would ask him, but he doesnt know this may be a problem yet and dont want him feeling bad. I tried looking him up online but couldnt find anything. He has a 3 year old daughter as well (different mom)...that he has 50% custody of. Not sure if that means anything. She is in my daycare as well.
Do you know if there could be some kind of stipulation if it is a problem? Like he cant be around the children? Can these things be appealed?
I just find it extremely unfair for him, because all the years ive been with him, he has never shown ANY type of aggression. He is the biggest teddy bear haha.
You need to be honest with him and not dance around it. In my state California you can request and exemption prior to needing one..... so prior to him moving in then the new clearance is a formality. This is not something you can pretend and dance around.

I wanted to add a timeline for my state approx. After you do the LiveScan you have to wait for the DOJ (or whoever) to send you a letter stating you need an exemption (this can take 6 week) then they want copies of all the charges you have to go to the courthouse(s) or write to them and request this if you do not already have the full file. Then you have to write a statement, submit certain documentation as proof, get three character letters, etc. AFTER you submit that it takes a min of 75 days (not sure if that is business days or days in general) for a response. So this is not an overnight process or one that you can slide in as an oh by the way let's move in together romantic type situation when you also have a business with rules to this extent.
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Cat Herder 11:37 AM 03-17-2017
Originally Posted by Love:
Hopefully will be getting full custody soon
Know that once he moves in with you things will most likely go high conflict with that ex. Especially if you two are not married.

The risk of a false charge of domestic violence or child neglect will be very high for a while.

The child has a legal right to both parents so pushing for full without cause may actually lower his parenting time. 50/50 is viewed as in the child's best interests.
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Love 11:49 AM 03-17-2017
The daughters mother has had CPS called on her at least twice a year since she was born. She has also expressed that she wants us to get married so that the child will see some stability. Basically saying...shes waiting for us ro get married so we can take her full time. So full custody would be in the best interest of this child.
Right now i do daycare with someone else in their home. Im hoping to move the daycare into my home within 2 years. So i am preparing in advance seeing what needs to be done as far as him moving in and what not. In 2 years the case will be 10 years old so it may even be better.
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Ariana 12:52 PM 03-17-2017
Seems odd that he has had to deal with two "crazy" ex's. Hopefully you don't end up being one

Either way I would tread carefully with this one!
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Tags:background check, background checks, domestic violence
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