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BentleysBands 10:25 AM 11-02-2010
how would u react if you had a 5yr old boy constantly saying bad words...i call it potty mouth...things such as 'hey, girls have 'ginas" ....'hell' ...'thats gay'...

parents allow him to say these things and thinks its funny...he knows he can only say these things as his house, per mom/dads ok

i know this cuz mom is a friend....

i remind him we do not say those things here...its not constant but things do slip out on occassion...thankfully he is very part time and no, termination is not an option...(i dont think terming is always the answer)

none of the other kids are picking up what he says thankgoodness because i catch him usually in mid-word
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legomom922 10:30 AM 11-02-2010
I wouldnt have it in my house!!! Tel the parents they teach to stop talking like that or you are terming them. No way would I put up with that!
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laundryduchess@yahoo.com 10:36 AM 11-02-2010
I call it "using ugly words, " and its not allowed. At 5 he knows its not something you allow. Have his mom tell him IN FRONT of you, not to say those things. If they use ugly words here they can sit in the ugly chair. (its just a chair at their lunch table, lol) its changes, sometimes its the hitting chair, if they hit they can sit there and hit themselves all day long I dont care but they will not be hitting my firends,.. They will sit in the ugly chair until they arent ugly anymore. when they have sat there long enough they will figure out that they were wrong, and they will say,.. Im sorry I was ugly. and when they say they wont be ugly anymore I let them up. If they are ugly again,.. back they go. all day if we need to keep repeating it. But he will not get a respnse of rise out of anyone for ugly words.
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Jewels 10:46 AM 11-02-2010
So you guys think Vagina is an ugly word? I understand the other words, but he is right, girls do have vaginas, Thats what I teach my own children, my son has a... everyone brace yourselves now.....PENIS. And my daughter has a Vagina..............its not a pee pee......they also have noses and ears.
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momofsix 10:55 AM 11-02-2010
Originally Posted by Jewels:
So you guys think Vagina is an ugly word? I understand the other words, but he is right, girls do have vaginas, Thats what I teach my own children, my son has a... everyone brace yourselves now.....PENIS. And my daughter has a Vagina..............its not a pee pee......they also have noses and ears.
My impression in op's post was not the word vagina itself is bad, but probably the way he's saying it. Just like poop and pee aren't bad words themselves, but there are appropriate times for these words, and times that are not so appropriate. Kids figure this out real soon, and if they get a reaction like the parents of this kid give (laughing,think it's cute) they will continue to do it in order to get that ettention. A five year old is plenty old to know what is and is not appropriate. If he goes to school and starts tallking to his teachers or his female classmates about their vaginas the school is NOT going to think it's funny at all.
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bgmeyers 10:58 AM 11-02-2010
Originally Posted by Jewels:
So you guys think Vagina is an ugly word? I understand the other words, but he is right, girls do have vaginas, Thats what I teach my own children, my son has a... everyone brace yourselves now.....PENIS. And my daughter has a Vagina..............its not a pee pee......they also have noses and ears.
It's probably the context and situation in which he is using the word. He's most likely doing this to get a reaction.

The other words are inappropriate in a daycare setting. He is old enough to know better. If the parent's aren't on board, you can't do much but discipline or term.
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Luna 10:59 AM 11-02-2010
Originally Posted by Jewels:
So you guys think Vagina is an ugly word? I understand the other words, but he is right, girls do have vaginas, Thats what I teach my own children, my son has a... everyone brace yourselves now.....PENIS. And my daughter has a Vagina..............its not a pee pee......they also have noses and ears.
The way I understood the original post it isn't the words that are being used, it's the way they're used. I would do exactly what you're doing...tell him we don't talk like that here, time out until he can apologize, and speak to the parents about it.
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DCMomOf3 11:00 AM 11-02-2010
I have 'bathroom' words and 'naughty' words. Any talk about private parts are bathroom words and only spoken in the bathroom. Naughty words are never ok. If they want to talk about private parts or pottying, they are to talk to me in the bathroom. Maybe there is a better way, but my kids respond well to this.
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SilverSabre25 11:02 AM 11-02-2010
I handle undesirable words by calmly saying that "we don't say those words here; they're not nice." By handling it calmly and not giving undue attention to it, he doesn't get satisfaction out of it and the attraction will no longer be there.

A point most will disagree with me on though, I don't think it's "potty mouth" or "ugly" to talk about body parts--the "girls have vaginas" comment and any others of that nature. It perfectly natural and calling it "bad" in any way just perpetuates the societal myth that bodies are shameful and unnatural things that need to be hidden and never talked about. When he mentions it all you have to do is acknowledge calmly, "Yes, you're right, they do." Again, not giving him the satisfaction of a big reaction. He is probably going to drop it and move on to something else, or else you can redirect him. "Yep, you're right, now do you want the green playdough or the blue?"

At least he's using the proper term and not one of the multitude of rather annoying and tasteless euphemisms.
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Live and Learn 11:05 AM 11-02-2010
The words vagina and penis don't bother me in the least....I would speak to mom about "that's gay" and let her know that she needs to talk to lil junior and that you will call her from now on for immediate pick up if he says that any more. This is the age where lil "verbal bully gay bashers" are formed!!! What on earth are these parents thinking and don't they watch the news? HE IS OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER AND WILL CONTINUE TO SAY THIS UNTIL HE IS TAUGHT NOT TO.
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laundryduchess@yahoo.com 11:11 AM 11-02-2010
here we dont say poop, pee, we say use the bathroom, or restroom,... I dont say,.. did you wipe your buttocks? I say, do you need help wiping your bottom. I dont allow them to run around saying I have a penis, I have a vagina,.. any more than I would allow them to run saying,.. I have a rectum, I have an anus. We only use some words in the bathroom,.. those words are the parts covered by our underwear ot tank shirt. Yes, we all have nipples,... but I am not about to have 9 kids runn ing through the house saying nipples nipples nipples,...!!!!
I think being politically correct and being sensitive to others beliefs and cultures is wonderful. And, I am all for teaching the kids the proper names for their body parts.... but Im not ready to embrace a child yelling through the mall,.. Mommy My anus is itchy!!!! or standing up in the bmv saying,.. I have a penis, not vagina!!!.. to everyone in the waiting area. I think there are social boundaries that need to remain intact. And I think alot of people are either too busy to be bothered with teaching them, or they just like the "shock value" in overstepping them.
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BentleysBands 11:21 AM 11-02-2010
Originally Posted by laundryduchess@yahoo.com:
here we dont say poop, pee, we say use the bathroom, or restroom,... I dont say,.. did you wipe your buttocks? I say, do you need help wiping your bottom. I dont allow them to run around saying I have a penis, I have a vagina,.. any more than I would allow them to run saying,.. I have a rectum, I have an anus. We only use some words in the bathroom,.. those words are the parts covered by our underwear ot tank shirt. Yes, we all have nipples,... but I am not about to have 9 kids runn ing through the house saying nipples nipples nipples,...!!!!
I think being politically correct and being sensitive to others beliefs and cultures is wonderful. And, I am all for teaching the kids the proper names for their body parts.... but Im not ready to embrace a child yelling through the mall,.. Mommy My anus is itchy!!!! or standing up in the bmv saying,.. I have a penis, not vagina!!!.. to everyone in the waiting area. I think there are social boundaries that need to remain intact. And I think alot of people are either too busy to be bothered with teaching them, or they just like the "shock value" in overstepping them.
LMAO ROFL!!! i loved this!!!

yes, its not the word itself but that he says it inappropriately ...like just blurting it out....nothing wrong with using vagina or penis..my DS knows these but we still say peenie weenie or peanuts LOL

but NOT in a daycare setting. IMO its a parents job of teaching those things NOT me...i dont do sex ed

i just say bottom for everything as to respect other parents who teach differently

thanks for the advice everyone!

i agree w/the 'thats gay' comments....he normally says that when spongebob or the wiggles come on...and yes we watch tv
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DancingQueen 11:23 AM 11-02-2010
I have no problem with vagina or penis. I have a problem with children using them in that context. I also have a huge problem with children say "that's gay" I find it insulting and no different than a racial slur (but that is my own personal view of the phrase - and I understand not the common view).
I would make sure he understands they aren't words to be used... once you are certain he KNOWS and is still using them I'd offer a few minutes alone in a chair for each offense.

I don't allow disrespectful talk in my house - by anyone.. friend or foe.
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Live and Learn 12:47 PM 11-02-2010
QUINCY is right.
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Jewels 12:52 PM 11-02-2010
My children know that they never run around yelling penis and vagina, But there was a period of time where my son learned girls had vaginas, that he would tell me alot, And I would just reply yes, I wouldn't allow him to yell this at the mall, But I would never tell anyone its an UGLY word, or put someone on a time out or in the ugly chair for saying, Girls have vaginas.....hes stating a fact, and that I do not believe is punishable........Now saying thats Gay, is completly different.
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Jewels 12:55 PM 11-02-2010
Originally Posted by laundryduchess@yahoo.com:
I call it "using ugly words, " and its not allowed. At 5 he knows its not something you allow. Have his mom tell him IN FRONT of you, not to say those things. If they use ugly words here they can sit in the ugly chair. (its just a chair at their lunch table, lol) its changes, sometimes its the hitting chair, if they hit they can sit there and hit themselves all day long I dont care but they will not be hitting my firends,.. They will sit in the ugly chair until they arent ugly anymore. when they have sat there long enough they will figure out that they were wrong, and they will say,.. Im sorry I was ugly. and when they say they wont be ugly anymore I let them up. If they are ugly again,.. back they go. all day if we need to keep repeating it. But he will not get a respnse of rise out of anyone for ugly words.
GEEZ my god, Telling them their ugly......thats a bad word to me, your teaching children that their being Ugly.......man, I wouldnt allow my children to tell another child their being Ugly, cause they said something. And I would be mad, if my provider was telling my child they were ugly.
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MarinaVanessa 03:27 PM 11-02-2010
Originally Posted by Jewels:
GEEZ my god, Telling them their ugly......thats a bad word to me, your teaching children that their being Ugly.......man, I wouldnt allow my children to tell another child their being Ugly, cause they said something. And I would be mad, if my provider was telling my child they were ugly.
I don't think that's what she's saying. Well that's not the impression I got anyway. She said that it's also the hitting chair if they hit so I took it as like a time-out chair. If they hit it's the hitting chair, if they say ugly words then it's the ugly chair. Pretty much of they do something bad it's the [insert bad action name here] chair.
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QualiTcare 03:49 PM 11-02-2010
Originally Posted by Jewels:
GEEZ my god, Telling them their ugly......thats a bad word to me, your teaching children that their being Ugly.......man, I wouldnt allow my children to tell another child their being Ugly, cause they said something. And I would be mad, if my provider was telling my child they were ugly.
people used to use the term "being ugly" like we say "being bad" or "being rude"

my grandmother used to say "don't be ugly" or "that's ugly" and i say it to my kids cus i heard it so much. it's not ugly as in they have a messed up face
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kidkair 03:50 PM 11-02-2010
Originally Posted by BentleysBands:
how would u react if you had a 5yr old boy constantly saying bad words...i call it potty mouth...things such as 'hey, girls have 'ginas" ....'hell' ...'thats gay'...

parents allow him to say these things and thinks its funny...he knows he can only say these things as his house, per mom/dads ok

i know this cuz mom is a friend....

i remind him we do not say those things here...its not constant but things do slip out on occassion...thankfully he is very part time and no, termination is not an option...(i dont think terming is always the answer)

none of the other kids are picking up what he says thankgoodness because i catch him usually in mid-word
I had a similar problem with a 3 year old saying 'oh my god' at first I tried to just ignore it as I know it's a phrase his mom uses every so often. Then one day he repeated it 15 times within 2 minutes and I had enough. I decided the best way to get rid of it was replace it with another phrase. So instead of 'oh my god' I taught him to say 'wow'. It took one day and all I did was say 'wow' really loud anytime I heard him even start 'oh my god'. The 19 month old caught on after a couple times and would shout 'wow' right after me. The 3 yr old got it and stopped though he still occasionally says 'crap' to which I just say 'We don't use that word here' and I won't hear it again for a few months. The older they are the hard it is to train them but if you substitute an appropriate phrase it lets the kid still express themselves rather than just teaching them that their opinions of what is going on around them should not be voiced at your house.
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Former Teacher 03:55 PM 11-02-2010
Originally Posted by laundryduchess@yahoo.com:
here we dont say poop, pee, we say use the bathroom, or restroom,... I dont say,.. did you wipe your buttocks? I say, do you need help wiping your bottom. I dont allow them to run around saying I have a penis, I have a vagina,.. any more than I would allow them to run saying,.. I have a rectum, I have an anus. We only use some words in the bathroom,.. those words are the parts covered by our underwear ot tank shirt. Yes, we all have nipples,... but I am not about to have 9 kids runn ing through the house saying nipples nipples nipples,...!!!!
I think being politically correct and being sensitive to others beliefs and cultures is wonderful. And, I am all for teaching the kids the proper names for their body parts.... but Im not ready to embrace a child yelling through the mall,.. Mommy My anus is itchy!!!! or standing up in the bmv saying,.. I have a penis, not vagina!!!.. to everyone in the waiting area. I think there are social boundaries that need to remain intact. And I think alot of people are either too busy to be bothered with teaching them, or they just like the "shock value" in overstepping them.
I was laughing so hard that my husband had to finally ask me what was so funny. I told him and then HE started to laugh so hard he was almost crying!
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Tags:bad words, behavior - effecting others, discipline - consistency
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