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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Would You Term a Hitter?
Unregistered 09:19 AM 01-14-2015
I have a 3yo DCG that comes here 3 days a week. She is very quiet and shows very little emotion. DCM has brought up concerns about a speech delay, yet keeps putting off AEA to evaluate her. The AEA comes to my daycare to provide services to another child and asked if the 3yo DCG has ever been evaluated, as she was exhibiting some signs of autism when AEA was here. I have always suspected this child being on the spectrum, but know I can't tell the parents that. I just keep suggesting they call AEA to see if we can do something here to help her speech, and let the AEA bring up the other concerns. My issue is that with her lack of speech, she hits a lot. And it's not always warranted. She's even hit an infant in a bouncer before. Right now, this hitting problem is getting worse, and the parents are not contacting AEA as suggested, so I don't see this getting better. I would be willing to work with this child if she were getting help, but I've been suggesting this to the parents for about 5 months now, and nothing has been done. I've tried shadowing, redirection, time outs...nothing is working...I don't think she sees hitting as a bad thing. Would you term this child? What would you say to the family?
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Play Care 09:32 AM 01-14-2015
I think I would take a firmer approach with the parents. I'm sure you've been telling them about the hitting incidents and what you are doing to try to prevent them.

"DCM, As you are aware we are still having issues with Jane hitting others. This is NOT typical 3 year old behavior. I know you've mentioned having Jane evaluated. I think that should be a top priority. I am willing to work with (whatever agency does this) but we can no longer go on as we have been."

If they still make no move to have anything addressed (or get an eval but don't follow through) I would then term.
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daycarediva 09:57 AM 01-14-2015
Originally Posted by Play Care:
I think I would take a firmer approach with the parents. I'm sure you've been telling them about the hitting incidents and what you are doing to try to prevent them.

"DCM, As you are aware we are still having issues with Jane hitting others. This is NOT typical 3 year old behavior. I know you've mentioned having Jane evaluated. I think that should be a top priority. I am willing to work with (whatever agency does this) but we can no longer go on as we have been."

If they still make no move to have anything addressed (or get an eval but don't follow through) I would then term.


Term the child who is hitting before the parents of the kids getting hit leave. In all honesty, I would have termed her the second she hit an infant. Not at all appropriate and that behavior poses a HUGE liability.
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finsup 10:00 AM 01-14-2015
I really enjoy working with and helping kids who struggle like this, but, I know I would want to be a one on one for her. That cannnot happen if your the only adult. It's not safe for the other kids and wit the parents not getting her help either...I don't think you have much of a choice
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earlystart 11:02 AM 01-14-2015
I have something written in my policies that says I don't have specialized training in special needs, but will work with an IEP or let a therapist come over during the day as long as I can accommodate it. It also says if I feel a child needs one-on-one support, the parent must provide and pay for a shadow or I will have to terminate the contract for the greater good of the group as a whole. So perhaps you can say something like "I'm going to have to give you a two week notice that your child is on probation for hitting. If the behavior doesn't improve in that time I will have to terminate our contract. If you're able to get an evaluation with AEA and work out a plan, then perhaps your child can stay as long as she is showing improvement". So, it's time to give them the ultimatum, you have no reason to believe her behavior is going to improve on its own without intervention. You don't have to cite any suspected diagnosis, all you have to do is cite her behavior and the disruption it's causing your program.
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grateday 06:29 PM 01-20-2015
The parents might be in denial. Sometimes if you cannot get the kid to comply, or the parents to comply the only option is to term. In the 24 months they had lived, I was there third provider. When I brought things up with them I explained my situation, I explained the liability. They eventually went and got there child help but then ended up waiting a year practically to get the help they applied for. Somehow there paperwork was lost in the system, but meanwhile, I was taking classes, studying on interventions to help.

You can look into sensory processing disorder which is often tied to it. Sensory seeking, sensory avoidance, sensory processing disorder, sensory integration disorder. You can also go to autism speaks and they have many challenging behavior resources.

Sometimes it is a diet change need, sometimes it is a stimulus need, sometimes it is overstimulation. The connection to that hurts someone else is hard to get. The parents need to get on board. You could offer to the parents that you are ok with them coming to your house too and maybe that might help.


Originally Posted by finsup:
I really enjoy working with and helping kids who struggle like this, but, I know I would want to be a one on one for her. That cannnot happen if your the only adult. It's not safe for the other kids and wit the parents not getting her help either...I don't think you have much of a choice

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EntropyControlSpecialist 08:42 PM 01-20-2015
Originally Posted by Play Care:
I think I would take a firmer approach with the parents. I'm sure you've been telling them about the hitting incidents and what you are doing to try to prevent them.

"DCM, As you are aware we are still having issues with Jane hitting others. This is NOT typical 3 year old behavior. I know you've mentioned having Jane evaluated. I think that should be a top priority. I am willing to work with (whatever agency does this) but we can no longer go on as we have been."

If they still make no move to have anything addressed (or get an eval but don't follow through) I would then term.
Absolutely
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jenboo 08:51 PM 01-20-2015
Hopefully no one takes offense to this but when I first read the title, I thought it said "would you term a HITLER"

Glad I realized it said hitter.
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Tags:aggressive behavior, hitting, terminate - hitting
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