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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Dropping Off During Bus Stop Time
Indoorvoice 04:30 AM 11-15-2018
I have asked parents to not drop off between 8 and 8:15 because the bus stop is in my driveway. I stay inside with the littler kids during this time, but keep watch on the bus stop through my front window. The first day of school, a dcd dropped off during this time even though he normally came around 7:50. He said he was sorry and knew the rule but was running late. I thought he would get what my issue was after that as it was very chaotic and I explained again why it can't happen that day before he left. Almost every day since, he continues to drop off right in the middle of bus stop time. He pulls right in even when kids are standing in my driveway. Since I'm inside, I can't stop him from pulling in or deny him entry. I tried blocking my driveway but then he just parks on the private drive next to my house which irritates my neighbors. He knows I'm irked and says sorry everytime but doesn't stop. I feel like there is nothing I can do because I've allowed it for months by this point. Every time I get the nerve up to say something I second guess myself thinking it will sound too rude. I know he's being rude too. Does anyone have a polite way to stop this? It's so unsafe.
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amberrose3dg 04:33 AM 11-15-2018
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
I have asked parents to not drop off between 8 and 8:15 because the bus stop is in my driveway. I stay inside with the littler kids during this time, but keep watch on the bus stop through my front window. The first day of school, a dcd dropped off during this time even though he normally came around 7:50. He said he was sorry and knew the rule but was running late. I thought he would get what my issue was after that as it was very chaotic and I explained again why it can't happen that day before he left. Almost every day since, he continues to drop off right in the middle of bus stop time. He pulls right in even when kids are standing in my driveway. Since I'm inside, I can't stop him from pulling in or deny him entry. I tried blocking my driveway but then he just parks on the private drive next to my house which irritates my neighbors. He knows I'm irked and says sorry everytime but doesn't stop. I feel like there is nothing I can do because I've allowed it for months by this point. Every time I get the nerve up to say something I second guess myself thinking it will sound too rude. I know he's being rude too. Does anyone have a polite way to stop this? It's so unsafe.
Tell him to drop off before or after the time. If he cannot terminate him. He sounds like an entitled jerk. I would be terrified he would hit one of my kids!
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DaveA 04:38 AM 11-15-2018
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
I have asked parents to not drop off between 8 and 8:15 because the bus stop is in my driveway. I stay inside with the littler kids during this time, but keep watch on the bus stop through my front window. The first day of school, a dcd dropped off during this time even though he normally came around 7:50. He said he was sorry and knew the rule but was running late. I thought he would get what my issue was after that as it was very chaotic and I explained again why it can't happen that day before he left. Almost every day since, he continues to drop off right in the middle of bus stop time. He pulls right in even when kids are standing in my driveway. Since I'm inside, I can't stop him from pulling in or deny him entry. I tried blocking my driveway but then he just parks on the private drive next to my house which irritates my neighbors. He knows I'm irked and says sorry everytime but doesn't stop. I feel like there is nothing I can do because I've allowed it for months by this point. Every time I get the nerve up to say something I second guess myself thinking it will sound too rude. I know he's being rude too. Does anyone have a polite way to stop this? It's so unsafe.
This would have sent me ballistic. My conversation would be simple- the next time he shows up during that time will be the last time they are enrolled. He's not sorry- he just doesn't think he has to follow the policy. It's up to you to enforce it or kick him out.
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Cat Herder 06:09 AM 11-15-2018
Originally Posted by DaveA:
This would have sent me ballistic. My conversation would be simple- the next time he shows up during that time will be the last time they are enrolled. He's not sorry- he just doesn't think he has to follow the policy. It's up to you to enforce it or kick him out.
This /\. He'd get a full on "Mom-Mode" lecture and probably leave in tears or for good.

You have allowed this to go on too long. You don't have a policy if you don't enforce it. You have taught him to not respect you. Time to change the lesson plan.
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Snowmom 07:42 AM 11-15-2018
Originally Posted by DaveA:
This would have sent me ballistic. My conversation would be simple- the next time he shows up during that time will be the last time they are enrolled. He's not sorry- he just doesn't think he has to follow the policy. It's up to you to enforce it or kick him out.
Definitely this!

I could tell you about my situation a few years back that was almost identical to this... basically it just ends with a blow up at my front door when I told dcm that she should find a different provider.
It's not going to change. He feels entitled to do whatever he wants with no regard for you or the safety of those kids.
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Ariana 07:47 AM 11-15-2018
Isn’t it funny how he started this right after you told him not to? I would send a termination letter after I got paid.
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Blackcat31 07:55 AM 11-15-2018
I'd have a hard time not immediately saying "If you are sorry, why do you keep doing it?" or "If you are really sorry, you would stop doing it" and then just standing there while he is uncomfortable and unsure of what to say...

When DCK's try to say "sorry" without much meaning I always say "Don't tell me. SHOW me"

Maybe that is what you need to do....
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Annalee 09:34 AM 11-15-2018
You are definitely going to have to "tell" him in an "or else" kind of way. I know the issue seems small to him but it is huge to you......just like making my parents walk across the porch to my daycare door. I ended up making an animated picture of how to walk across the porch, hold your child's hand, etc. and put it in my handbook and contract. It brought some laughter to the good parents but the ONE hated it because he was the REASON for it!
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littlefriends 10:34 AM 11-15-2018
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
I have asked parents to not drop off between 8 and 8:15 because the bus stop is in my driveway. I stay inside with the littler kids during this time, but keep watch on the bus stop through my front window. The first day of school, a dcd dropped off during this time even though he normally came around 7:50. He said he was sorry and knew the rule but was running late. I thought he would get what my issue was after that as it was very chaotic and I explained again why it can't happen that day before he left. Almost every day since, he continues to drop off right in the middle of bus stop time. He pulls right in even when kids are standing in my driveway. Since I'm inside, I can't stop him from pulling in or deny him entry. I tried blocking my driveway but then he just parks on the private drive next to my house which irritates my neighbors. He knows I'm irked and says sorry everytime but doesn't stop. I feel like there is nothing I can do because I've allowed it for months by this point. Every time I get the nerve up to say something I second guess myself thinking it will sound too rude. I know he's being rude too. Does anyone have a polite way to stop this? It's so unsafe.
I wouldn’t worry about being polite!! He could seriously injure or even kill one (or more )of the kids!! I’d tell him the second he walked in the door that the next time it happens he will no longer have care with you.
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e.j. 11:08 AM 11-15-2018
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
I have asked parents to not drop off between 8 and 8:15 because the bus stop is in my driveway. I stay inside with the littler kids during this time, but keep watch on the bus stop through my front window. The first day of school, a dcd dropped off during this time even though he normally came around 7:50. He said he was sorry and knew the rule but was running late. I thought he would get what my issue was after that as it was very chaotic and I explained again why it can't happen that day before he left. Almost every day since, he continues to drop off right in the middle of bus stop time. He pulls right in even when kids are standing in my driveway. Since I'm inside, I can't stop him from pulling in or deny him entry. I tried blocking my driveway but then he just parks on the private drive next to my house which irritates my neighbors. He knows I'm irked and says sorry everytime but doesn't stop. I feel like there is nothing I can do because I've allowed it for months by this point. Every time I get the nerve up to say something I second guess myself thinking it will sound too rude. I know he's being rude too. Does anyone have a polite way to stop this? It's so unsafe.
Any time I have to confront a parent about something, it seems easier for me when I acknowledge how uncomfortable I feel ... "Dcd, I'm uncomfortable saying this to you because I've let it go on for far too long but I need you to stop dropping your child off between 8 and 8:15. If it's too hard to get here before 8, you can always wait until 8:15 to drop off but I'd appreciate it if you would please stop coming between those two times." If he did it again after I spoke with him about it, I'd be ready to hand him a termination letter.
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boy_mom 11:17 AM 11-15-2018
So many news stories these last few weeks about children being hit by cars at bus stops. Time to speak up!

What would be worse, a 3 minute conversation to enforce the policy you made or him hitting a child in your driveway?!
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Homebody 12:54 PM 11-15-2018
I would definitely tell him that he needs to stop or care will be terminated. Your daycare kids lives are at risk. This reminds me of a heartbreaking accident that occurred in my area. A daycare provider was outside with the dc kids during pickup, and her husband was their too. They got distracted I believe by one of the kids, and didn't see a young toddler wonder into the driveway as a grandparent was pulling in to pickup another child. The poor girl was hit and killed.

This dad is only thinking of himself, and doesn't seem to have any respect for you or your rules.
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Indoorvoice 03:42 AM 11-16-2018
Thanks for all of your responses. I know what I need to do, it's just the "how" to do it that I stumble over. I tell myself daily to be more firm to him and then I just don't.
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Cat Herder 04:19 AM 11-16-2018
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
Thanks for all of your responses. I know what I need to do, it's just the "how" to do it that I stumble over. I tell myself daily to be more firm to him and then I just don't.
You are going to have to look him in the face and tell him no more. One more time and he is gone. Then you are going to have to let him go when he does it again. You.
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amberrose3dg 04:33 AM 11-16-2018
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
You are going to have to look him in the face and tell him no more. One more time and he is gone. Then you are going to have to let him go when he does it again. You.
This! You will be ok. I know we all have this struggle. If he leaves remember it wont be a huge loss.
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Kimskiddos 07:29 AM 11-16-2018
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
Thanks for all of your responses. I know what I need to do, it's just the "how" to do it that I stumble over. I tell myself daily to be more firm to him and then I just don't.
When I was learning to strengthen my backbone, I used to practice the conversation in the mirror beforehand. It really helped me figure out how and what I wanted to say. Just remind yourself, he is the one in the wrong not you. You shouldn't feel bad for keeping everyone safe.
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284878 08:34 AM 11-16-2018
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
Thanks for all of your responses. I know what I need to do, it's just the "how" to do it that I stumble over. I tell myself daily to be more firm to him and then I just don't.
I have a similar policy, I enforced it last year when I had to start taking my daughter to the bus. My driveway is longer and I can't see the end from our house, so I have to walk down the driveway with her with any children that are here by 7:50. Then we walk back up the driveway after the bus has gone. Order to not feel chased up the driveway I don't allow drop off until 8:10. When I put this policy in to effect last September I had a mom who would pull in right at 7:50, she still had to get her child out of the car sign him in so I could get him into the stroller or wagon to take them down the driveway. Doing this she was causing me to be late getting down the driveway. One day she had not arrived, so I headed out a minute or two early and she pulled in the driveway as we were walking down but was still on time, another time she got out of her car put a kid in the wagon I went back to her car and sat there I waited for her to leave so I could leave safely with the kids and not being chased down the driveway but she just sat there. The final straw was seeing her pull by while I was standing at the end of driveway with the kids. (Shortly after that happened she started picking up early to what I assumed was to look at different daycares, a month later she left) I knew her drop off time is 7:30 so she had 20 minutes to get there before I headed out.

Anyways my suggestion to you would be to put a sign on your door, saying something like provider will return at 8:15. Or provider will answer door at 8:15. Or you have arrived during my no drop-off policy time frame, please be advised I will not be opening the store until 8:15, knocking ring the doorbell or even pounding will not get the door open faster. And then just don't answer the door even if you're standing in the living room looking out the window. It will be hard to ignore him but that's what I would do.
When you open the door and he asks why you didn't answer, I would reply with something I like the safety of the children at the road and in my home is my priority. That his coming early distract you from safely caring for the children both inside and outside. That his choice to continue coming in during the no drop-off policy is putting the children's safety at risk and if he continues he will be looking for another day care.
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Unregistered 11:08 AM 11-16-2018
Notify him in writing that you will be charging him 50 dollars for each violation of dropping off during this time including your neighbors parking spot. 3 violations he is termed. When it costs him he will stop.
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littlefriends 11:45 AM 11-16-2018
Originally Posted by amberrose3dg:
This! You will be ok. I know we all have this struggle. If he leaves remember it wont be a huge loss.
You really will be okay! I know it doesn’t seem like it when all you’ve got going through your head is terrifying “what-ifs” but telling him no more to his face and seriously meaning it is better than possibly losing your business you’ve worked so hard for because of his recklessness.
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lovemykidstoo 07:20 AM 11-19-2018
So just to be clear, he comes when the kids are standing in the driveway? So what happens when he pulls in, do the kids have to move? That is complete BS. I would go postal on him. If you find it's hard for you face to face, text him first thing in the morning before he leaves his house and say "reminder, do not arrive between 8:00 and 8:15. Thank you" Do it every day if you have to.
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284878 04:27 AM 11-20-2018
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
So just to be clear, he comes when the kids are standing in the driveway? So what happens when he pulls in, do the kids have to move? That is complete BS. I would go postal on him. If you find it's hard for you face to face, text him first thing in the morning before he leaves his house and say "reminder, do not arrive between 8:00 and 8:15. Thank you" Do it every day if you have to.
Yes do this, text him daily.
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lovemykidstoo 09:39 AM 11-23-2018
Wondering how this ended up.
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Indoorvoice 07:10 AM 11-24-2018
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
Wondering how this ended up.
I actually haven't seen them since the day I posted this due to the baby coming only part time and me taking some time off for Thanksgiving but I'll be sure to update when I talk to him!
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lovemykidstoo 07:18 PM 11-24-2018
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
I actually haven't seen them since the day I posted this due to the baby coming only part time and me taking some time off for Thanksgiving but I'll be sure to update when I talk to him!
Good luck. I think he's being extremely inconsiderate! I hope you had a great Thanksgiving!
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Indoorvoice 05:49 AM 11-27-2018
Guys, I did it again. Today was his first day back since break. He wasn't supposed to come today but dcm texted this morning asking if I could take him. I texted sure, just make sure to avoid the 8-8:15 time for the bus stop and she said "of course!" sure enough, dcd pulls in at 8:09. And I said nothing. Nothing! Totally chickened out. I had my kids standing in the snow off to the side. I totally suck at this. I know there is no advice you can give me and I just have to do it. I just hate it.
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Cat Herder 05:54 AM 11-27-2018
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
Guys, I did it again. Today was his first day back since break. He wasn't supposed to come today but dcm texted this morning asking if I could take him. I texted sure, just make sure to avoid the 8-8:15 time for the bus stop and she said "of course!" sure enough, dcd pulls in at 8:09. And I said nothing. Nothing! Totally chickened out. I had my kids standing in the snow off to the side. I totally suck at this. I know there is no advice you can give me and I just have to do it. I just hate it.
Can you text DCM "He showed up right in the middle of bus stop time, again. Can you handle it, please? This is his last warning before termination and I'd hate to lose you."
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KiwiKids 05:59 AM 11-27-2018
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
Can you text DCM "He showed up right in the middle of bus stop time, again. Can you handle it, please? This is his last warning before termination and I'd hate to lose you."
I would do this but I would group text them and say you’ve told them repeatedly that drop off can not be between 8:00-8:15. The next time it happens will result in immediate termination. I would also add on that the driveway must be CLEAR at 8am just to be sure he doesn’t roll in at 7:59 and then want to back out at 8:05. Because he’s obviously petty enough or inconsiderate enough to do it.
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lovemykidstoo 06:26 AM 11-27-2018
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
Guys, I did it again. Today was his first day back since break. He wasn't supposed to come today but dcm texted this morning asking if I could take him. I texted sure, just make sure to avoid the 8-8:15 time for the bus stop and she said "of course!" sure enough, dcd pulls in at 8:09. And I said nothing. Nothing! Totally chickened out. I had my kids standing in the snow off to the side. I totally suck at this. I know there is no advice you can give me and I just have to do it. I just hate it.
I don't mean to be mean lol but you HAVE to stop him from doing this. How are you going to feel if something happens to one of the kids because of this? If you can't bring it up face to face, then email it, text it etc, but this is serious. At the very least can you put safety cones out so that he can't pull in the driveway? This isn't a problem like someone forgot snowpants or mittens, this could kill a child.
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lovemykidstoo 06:27 AM 11-27-2018
Originally Posted by KiwiKids:
I would do this but I would group text them and say you’ve told them repeatedly that drop off can not be between 8:00-8:15. The next time it happens will result in immediate termination. I would also add on that the driveway must be CLEAR at 8am just to be sure he doesn’t roll in at 7:59 and then want to back out at 8:05. Because he’s obviously petty enough or inconsiderate enough to do it.
exactly! If he isn't going to listen maybe mom will
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Indoorvoice 07:09 AM 11-27-2018
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
I don't mean to be mean lol but you HAVE to stop him from doing this. How are you going to feel if something happens to one of the kids because of this? If you can't bring it up face to face, then email it, text it etc, but this is serious. At the very least can you put safety cones out so that he can't pull in the driveway? This isn't a problem like someone forgot snowpants or mittens, this could kill a child.
You're so right. Time to put my girl pants on... I think I'll just text both of them. I just feel stupid because I've let it go on so long that springing termination on them seems harsh.
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amberrose3dg 07:17 AM 11-27-2018
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
You're so right. Time to put my girl pants on... I think I'll just text both of them. I just feel stupid because I've let it go on so long that springing termination on them seems harsh.
How many times have you asked him to not drop off at that time? It isn't springing it on them if it continues to happen. I would so he knows how serious you are.
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Cat Herder 07:17 AM 11-27-2018
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
You're so right. Time to put my girl pants on... I think I'll just text both of them. I just feel stupid because I've let it go on so long that springing termination on them seems harsh.
Really?

How many warnings have they had, already? This can hardly be a surprise to him.
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lovemykidstoo 07:19 AM 11-27-2018
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
You're so right. Time to put my girl pants on... I think I'll just text both of them. I just feel stupid because I've let it go on so long that springing termination on them seems harsh.
There's nothing wrong with saying that you've allowed it for so long but it has to stop now. A child could die. Whether he's pulling in or leaving, both equally dangerous. For me, I wouldn't say anything about terminating in this text, but I would say that it absolutely will not be allowed again and that you're firm with it. Put your most solid foot down to both of them. Then if he does do it again, i would say that there will not be 1 other time without termination. I have a feeling by texting both of them, that his wife will put her foot down too. Hoping anyway. That is a dangerous situation.

I had a dcd that would whip his big truck in my driveway when I was out there playing with the kids. I got pissed and told him that hey we're in the driveway playing, please do not pull in here. Then I put my safety cones out to be sure he didn't. I dont' use the safety cones anymore and he doesn't pull in anymore either.
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Pestle 07:43 AM 11-27-2018
This sounds mean, but you need to ask yourself: are you capable of keeping the children in your care safe? Because right now, you are telling us that you are not capable of doing it.
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redmaple 09:41 AM 11-27-2018
It is not harsh to issue an immediate termination warning for repeated blatant disrespect for you, and for endangering the children in your care.
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e.j. 11:10 AM 11-27-2018
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
I have asked parents to not drop off between 8 and 8:15 because the bus stop is in my driveway. I stay inside with the littler kids during this time, but keep watch on the bus stop through my front window. The first day of school, a dcd dropped off during this time even though he normally came around 7:50. He said he was sorry and knew the rule but was running late. I thought he would get what my issue was after that as it was very chaotic and I explained again why it can't happen that day before he left. Almost every day since, he continues to drop off right in the middle of bus stop time. He pulls right in even when kids are standing in my driveway. Since I'm inside, I can't stop him from pulling in or deny him entry. I tried blocking my driveway but then he just parks on the private drive next to my house which irritates my neighbors. He knows I'm irked and says sorry everytime but doesn't stop. I feel like there is nothing I can do because I've allowed it for months by this point. Every time I get the nerve up to say something I second guess myself thinking it will sound too rude. I know he's being rude too. Does anyone have a polite way to stop this? It's so unsafe.
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
Guys, I did it again. Today was his first day back since break. He wasn't supposed to come today but dcm texted this morning asking if I could take him. I texted sure, just make sure to avoid the 8-8:15 time for the bus stop and she said "of course!" sure enough, dcd pulls in at 8:09. And I said nothing. Nothing! Totally chickened out. I had my kids standing in the snow off to the side. I totally suck at this. I know there is no advice you can give me and I just have to do it. I just hate it.
You've repeatedly told him not to come as bus time, he continues to thumb his nose at you and you're worried about appearing harsh? I say this with tremendous empathy because I'm the biggest wuss there is but even I wouldn't have a problem terming him immediately never mind giving him a warning and one last chance. He's behaving like a 2 year old! He's lucky you didn't term him on the spot this morning.
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Pestle 11:23 AM 11-27-2018
He may be lucky, but the children he is endangering are not lucky until their care provider stands up for them
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lovemykidstoo 11:29 AM 11-27-2018
So are you going to talk to him at pickup today?
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MyAngels 11:44 AM 11-27-2018
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
You're so right. Time to put my girl pants on... I think I'll just text both of them. I just feel stupid because I've let it go on so long that springing termination on them seems harsh.
I don't think this needs to be as difficult as you may think. Personally, I wouldn't handle this by text, but with a simple face-to-face conversation. Unless the guy is a complete jerk he's going to comply with what you're asking. A frank conversation reiterating what you've asked them to do and why should be all it takes. It's not about rules (or breaking them), appearing harsh, or anything else. It's simply about the safety of all of the children in your care.

"Jim there's something we need to discuss, and I need your help here. I've asked you quite a few times not to drop off during the bus pickup time, and here's the reason why: It's not safe for the kids. We can't have vehicles pulling in and out of the drive while the children are out there. It only takes one mistake, one wrong move, and one of these precious little ones could be hurt, or worse, killed. You wouldn't want that to happen would you? Of course not, and I don't either. That's why I've asked that you not drop between 8 and 8:15. I'm sure you've not considered the safety side of this and that's why you've ignored the rule so far, but honestly, now that we've discussed this, I see no reason that you would want to continue to drop off during this time, and from here on out you need to drop off either before we go out or after we come back in. Can I count on you to put the safety of the children first going forward?"

Simple, really. Have the talk with both of them if necessary.
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Indoorvoice 12:28 PM 11-27-2018
So I just have to say that I appreciate everyone's concern with this and trying to put it into perspective for me. You're right that at this point it isn't about me or my inability to feel any sort of discomfort, but for the safety of my kids. Luckily, my neighbor also solidified it for me this afternoon when she texted me at nap today. She was home when she sent her daughter over to my bus stop and witnessed him pull in and then out again while her child was out there. Granted, they were in the yard (in the snow) but it takes a second for one of them to make the decision not to stay there. She wrote me an angry text and asked me to take care of it. So there is my reason right there. I wrote a message to both parents this afternoon explaining my neighbor's and my concern and told them that I know that I have been lax in this, but moving forward I have to be more strict and dcm responded. Now at least I have the rule in place again and can go from there. I actually do appreciate your bluntness and am glad that you guys don't think this is a silly rule. I can't control where the bus stop is located, and while it's my house, I have to ensure safety.
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lovemykidstoo 01:17 PM 11-27-2018
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
So I just have to say that I appreciate everyone's concern with this and trying to put it into perspective for me. You're right that at this point it isn't about me or my inability to feel any sort of discomfort, but for the safety of my kids. Luckily, my neighbor also solidified it for me this afternoon when she texted me at nap today. She was home when she sent her daughter over to my bus stop and witnessed him pull in and then out again while her child was out there. Granted, they were in the yard (in the snow) but it takes a second for one of them to make the decision not to stay there. She wrote me an angry text and asked me to take care of it. So there is my reason right there. I wrote a message to both parents this afternoon explaining my neighbor's and my concern and told them that I know that I have been lax in this, but moving forward I have to be more strict and dcm responded. Now at least I have the rule in place again and can go from there. I actually do appreciate your bluntness and am glad that you guys don't think this is a silly rule. I can't control where the bus stop is located, and while it's my house, I have to ensure safety.
Good for you! Glad you contacted them. That probably makes you feel better. So the kids stand in your driveway, but if someone comes they go in the snow? That is really rude and inconsiderate of your dcd to do that. He sounds like a real jerk honestly. I would be ticked if I was your neighbor too and had a child out there. There is no reason he can't abide by your rule.
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MarinaVanessa 01:41 PM 11-27-2018
I've been following your story even though I didn't reply and I just want to say GOOD FOR YOU! Do you feel any better? I sure hope so. And I really hope that you say something to him if he does it again the next time he arrives.

Maybe have something already prepared that you can rehearse just in case he does it again? Having something prepared can sometimes make it less stressful.

"Frank, I know I mentioned this to you guys several times and I thought I had made it clear that it could not continue anymore. I don't want to have to choose between keeping my neighbors and my school age clients happy or your family." You may never have to use your speech but if you do you'll be prepared
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Tin Blues 02:48 PM 11-27-2018
Going forward, realize the more you use your backbone, the easier it gets. It’s your business. When something doesn’t work for you, speak up. If a family balks, you didn’t need or want them anyway.
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LysesKids 01:10 AM 11-28-2018
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
I have asked parents to not drop off between 8 and 8:15 because the bus stop is in my driveway. I stay inside with the littler kids during this time, but keep watch on the bus stop through my front window. The first day of school, a dcd dropped off during this time even though he normally came around 7:50. He said he was sorry and knew the rule but was running late. I thought he would get what my issue was after that as it was very chaotic and I explained again why it can't happen that day before he left. Almost every day since, he continues to drop off right in the middle of bus stop time. He pulls right in even when kids are standing in my driveway. Since I'm inside, I can't stop him from pulling in or deny him entry. I tried blocking my driveway but then he just parks on the private drive next to my house which irritates my neighbors. He knows I'm irked and says sorry everytime but doesn't stop. I feel like there is nothing I can do because I've allowed it for months by this point. Every time I get the nerve up to say something I second guess myself thinking it will sound too rude. I know he's being rude too. Does anyone have a polite way to stop this? It's so unsafe.
I've been watching the thread & glad you finally contacted parents & set a rule; should add, if I was a client of yours & found out some of the info, I would have pulled my child, because for a long time it was more about you worrying about hurting a parents feelings over protecting the children - that is priority in this business.

I did daycare for 18 years until my health made me quit this year, however, my own kids were in childcare for years before that and the minute I thought the provider wasn't doing her job (in one case my youngest was injured and could have died due to the providers negligence), I termed immediately and moved on to someone I could trust.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but you also have to think about what kind of reputation you might be getting for being a softy, because words travel thru families. Next time the J***A** pulls the driveway stunt, terminate... you need that backbone honey, start using it
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lovemykidstoo 06:38 AM 12-03-2018
Just was wondering how you were doing with this since you texted them. Did they respect your request?
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Indoorvoice 07:01 AM 12-03-2018
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
Just was wondering how you were doing with this since you texted them. Did they respect your request?
So far so good as far as coming before bus stop time. Dcd has resorted to giving me the silent treatment and has upped his power struggle of sending dcb in ridiculous clothing for daycare, but I can handle that Today was suspenders and a vest with dress pants for his 8 month old
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Cat Herder 07:05 AM 12-03-2018
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
So far so good as far as coming before bus stop time. Dcd has resorted to giving me the silent treatment and has upped his power struggle of sending dcb in ridiculous clothing for daycare, but I can handle that Today was suspenders and a vest with dress pants for his 8 month old
Sounds like a great day for red and green paint to me.

This guy sounds like a gem.
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lovemykidstoo 07:06 AM 12-03-2018
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
So far so good as far as coming before bus stop time. Dcd has resorted to giving me the silent treatment and has upped his power struggle of sending dcb in ridiculous clothing for daycare, but I can handle that Today was suspenders and a vest with dress pants for his 8 month old
OMG are you serious? What a complete A**hole. So he's dressed up to go to a wedding? How are you handling that? I'd probably play his game and say oh my gosh I love his outfit, so much better than his other outfits he's been wearing. Totally fake him out. He doesn't sound real bright.
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Indoorvoice 07:15 AM 12-03-2018
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
Sounds like a great day for red and green paint to me.

This guy sounds like a gem.
Oh yes, super big craft day is planned today!
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amberrose3dg 07:16 AM 12-03-2018
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
So far so good as far as coming before bus stop time. Dcd has resorted to giving me the silent treatment and has upped his power struggle of sending dcb in ridiculous clothing for daycare, but I can handle that Today was suspenders and a vest with dress pants for his 8 month old
Yeah I would also send him home with food or whatever on those nice clothes.
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Indoorvoice 07:19 AM 12-03-2018
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
OMG are you serious? What a complete A**hole. So he's dressed up to go to a wedding? How are you handling that? I'd probably play his game and say oh my gosh I love his outfit, so much better than his other outfits he's been wearing. Totally fake him out. He doesn't sound real bright.
I don't even battle it. I have a whole bunch of extra infant clothes here and just change his outfit at the first diaper change and throw the ridiculous outfit in his cubby. I don't change him back either at the end of the day, just tell dcd to send my clothes back tomorrow. I feel like he wants to rile me up so he has an excuse to get mad at me or something so I try to not play his game.
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lovemykidstoo 07:44 AM 12-03-2018
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
I don't even battle it. I have a whole bunch of extra infant clothes here and just change his outfit at the first diaper change and throw the ridiculous outfit in his cubby. I don't change him back either at the end of the day, just tell dcd to send my clothes back tomorrow. I feel like he wants to rile me up so he has an excuse to get mad at me or something so I try to not play his game.
Oh he is definitely trying to rile you up. Yup, that's a good plan, just change him and hand the outfit back. He is such a jerk.
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dreamer 07:52 AM 12-04-2018
He’s trying to “show you who is boss”. Incredibly immature. He does not like that you’re putting your foot down and he is not getting things his way. I probably would term such a person! I like the idea of changing the baby’s clothes into more appropriate ones, but honestly, I would be concerned that he will NOT bring your clothes back to you.
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Gemma 09:47 AM 12-04-2018
I've been following this thread as well...he deserves to be gone!

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lovemykidstoo 09:57 AM 12-04-2018
Did he do it again today with the clothes? What did he say when you gave him the bag back yesterday with the clothes in it?
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Tags:enforcing policies - consistency, support from others, tough love
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