Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Advice and Professional Wording . . .
spedmommy4 08:06 AM 05-28-2016
So, the dcm that has been turning my life upside down has stopped. I received 8 emails from her, multiple texts, and this Facebook review was posted.
"When I first started my daughter here I was somewhat iffy, I came for a tour and the provider barely said a word to myself or my friend that came along. Regardless I ended up enrolling my daughter and even going into the first day the provider still barely talked to me, no encouraging words, and id have to ask all the questions to get ANY amount of information from her about my child, although yes its the parents job to ask questions i feel the provider should be offering up things such as how my child's day wen't etc. Things seemed to get better going down the road at least with the communication and acknowledgement. Many times at pick up or drop off id see the provider sitting in a chair just staring at the children or even on her phone, being that I'm a teacher myself I know one of the components of being a high quality childcare is teacher and child interactions.
I also noticed that she talked about other family's to others "gossip" and that is so unprofessional, things are to be kept confidential when you are a provider or even in any field! Tuesday my daughter got sick at school as I was at work. I work as a preschool teacher as well and am not able to have my phone in my room for liability and safety reasons. ***** had called my phone and texted once to let me know but I did not get the message until my break time. She could have easily looked up my work number and got ahold of me right away! Instead she called her employees who were not at work yet and told them I was ignoring her and had one of them call me on my work phone. As soon as i got the call i texted ***** back to see what was going on, and then proceeded to make arrangements to leave work ASAP. Meanwhile as I'm making arrangements ***** is texting me and telling me things like you need to figure this out and get her, etc. Im sorry but I'm a teacher I can not just walk out especially with kids in my room, it takes some time to make arrangements. Upon arriving at 10 something **** greets me with comments such as how much my child three up, and all the spots on her floor she hit, and how shes glad she didn't have rugs down etc. She showed not one ounce of consideration or worry about my daughter just her floors. To top is off i hear later that day that my daughter was screaming for her other teacher and ***** would not allow that other teacher to comfort my child instead she sent that teacher outside. I decided to pull my daughter early because of this and due to my schedule change so Wednesday was my daughters last day. When I showed up to pick my daughter up ***** did not say a word or even make eye contact until I asked her a question. Then as we are leaving I said Thank you for everything, and she goes "yeah sure." Thats it not even a goodbye to my child who she'd been with for months! Her last petty move was deleting and blocking me from a group she created called High Quality Childcare in San Joaquin county. I have been posting on it and was communicating with a few people, I tried to get on this morning and it sent me an alert saying I had been blocked from viewing the page. Thinking oh maybe she deleted the group since shes moving I went on through another account to find that the group is still there! Im sorry but these are NOT actions of a High Quality childcare provider! I am not happy."
One of my other clients was there for most of the time her child was there on the day she was ill. To address her "concerns.": Her daughter is deathly afraid of steam cleaners and vaccuum and I had to clean up vomit multiple times while waiting for her. Her daughter kept yelling, "turn it off" and I kept responding, "it's okay." I couldn't comfort the child as I had to remove the vomit from the floor.
She makes a conflicting statement that I barely talk to her and that I gossip. I never gave personal information about other families. This mom texted me, sometimes daily. The child is two. I only give daily updates to parents of infants, I responded to all of her texts, (even after hours) and the parent declined to attend a parent teacher conference.
Admitted, I may have had my phone out more the last month. We have been in the process of buying a house and moving. Lots of the loan docs are time sensitive and I have been multi tasking. Up until then I had been involved in her weekly (sometimes 2-3x's weekly) therapy, which dcm didn't have time for, and the whole nine yards.
I did call my employee to contact her at work for three reasons. First, this dcm did not give me updated contact information when she changed jobs. Second, my employee was hired on at dcm's place of employment and knew the number. Third, I had 6 kids and was all by myself with a floor covered in vomit. I didn't have a lot of time to Google search the number and hunt her down.
My child care is enrolled in QRIS and we are a tier 5 here. Our teacher interactions have been assessed and rated stellar. Her child went from 15 words to 6 word sentences in 7 months. She posted a ton of pictures of her kid having fun at our family events and now she is throwing a tantrum because I removed her from a family childcare Facebook group for spamming ads for a childcare CENTER??
Anyway, my options are to respond to this nonsense or leave the review section off of Facebook altogether. Leaving the review section off also means I had to change the category to one that makes me harder to find when I reopen later. Her tantrum seems to have subsided so I know I risk reigniting the firestorm by posting any response to this.
My current clients that are hanging with me until the very end are offering to write their own reviews. I don't know. What do you all think? Would you respond? If so, how?
"When I first started my daughter here I was somewhat iffy, I came for a tour and the provider barely said a word to myself or my friend that came along. Regardless I ended up enrolling my daughter and even going into the first day the provider still barely talked to me, no encouraging words, and id have to ask all the questions to get ANY amount of information from her about my child, although yes its the parents job to ask questions i feel the provider should be offering up things such as how my child's day wen't etc. Things seemed to get better going down the road at least with the communication and acknowledgement. Many times at pick up or drop off id see the provider sitting in a chair just staring at the children or even on her phone, being that I'm a teacher myself I know one of the components of being a high quality childcare is teacher and child interactions.
I also noticed that she talked about other family's to others "gossip" and that is so unprofessional, things are to be kept confidential when you are a provider or even in any field! Tuesday my daughter got sick at school as I was at work. I work as a preschool teacher as well and am not able to have my phone in my room for liability and safety reasons. ***** had called my phone and texted once to let me know but I did not get the message until my break time. She could have easily looked up my work number and got ahold of me right away! Instead she called her employees who were not at work yet and told them I was ignoring her and had one of them call me on my work phone. As soon as i got the call i texted ***** back to see what was going on, and then proceeded to make arrangements to leave work ASAP. Meanwhile as I'm making arrangements ***** is texting me and telling me things like you need to figure this out and get her, etc. Im sorry but I'm a teacher I can not just walk out especially with kids in my room, it takes some time to make arrangements. Upon arriving at 10 something **** greets me with comments such as how much my child three up, and all the spots on her floor she hit, and how shes glad she didn't have rugs down etc. She showed not one ounce of consideration or worry about my daughter just her floors. To top is off i hear later that day that my daughter was screaming for her other teacher and ***** would not allow that other teacher to comfort my child instead she sent that teacher outside. I decided to pull my daughter early because of this and due to my schedule change so Wednesday was my daughters last day. When I showed up to pick my daughter up ***** did not say a word or even make eye contact until I asked her a question. Then as we are leaving I said Thank you for everything, and she goes "yeah sure." Thats it not even a goodbye to my child who she'd been with for months! Her last petty move was deleting and blocking me from a group she created called High Quality Childcare in San Joaquin county. I have been posting on it and was communicating with a few people, I tried to get on this morning and it sent me an alert saying I had been blocked from viewing the page. Thinking oh maybe she deleted the group since shes moving I went on through another account to find that the group is still there! Im sorry but these are NOT actions of a High Quality childcare provider! I am not happy."
One of my other clients was there for most of the time her child was there on the day she was ill. To address her "concerns.": Her daughter is deathly afraid of steam cleaners and vaccuum and I had to clean up vomit multiple times while waiting for her. Her daughter kept yelling, "turn it off" and I kept responding, "it's okay." I couldn't comfort the child as I had to remove the vomit from the floor.
She makes a conflicting statement that I barely talk to her and that I gossip. I never gave personal information about other families. This mom texted me, sometimes daily. The child is two. I only give daily updates to parents of infants, I responded to all of her texts, (even after hours) and the parent declined to attend a parent teacher conference.
Admitted, I may have had my phone out more the last month. We have been in the process of buying a house and moving. Lots of the loan docs are time sensitive and I have been multi tasking. Up until then I had been involved in her weekly (sometimes 2-3x's weekly) therapy, which dcm didn't have time for, and the whole nine yards.
I did call my employee to contact her at work for three reasons. First, this dcm did not give me updated contact information when she changed jobs. Second, my employee was hired on at dcm's place of employment and knew the number. Third, I had 6 kids and was all by myself with a floor covered in vomit. I didn't have a lot of time to Google search the number and hunt her down.
My child care is enrolled in QRIS and we are a tier 5 here. Our teacher interactions have been assessed and rated stellar. Her child went from 15 words to 6 word sentences in 7 months. She posted a ton of pictures of her kid having fun at our family events and now she is throwing a tantrum because I removed her from a family childcare Facebook group for spamming ads for a childcare CENTER??
Anyway, my options are to respond to this nonsense or leave the review section off of Facebook altogether. Leaving the review section off also means I had to change the category to one that makes me harder to find when I reopen later. Her tantrum seems to have subsided so I know I risk reigniting the firestorm by posting any response to this.
My current clients that are hanging with me until the very end are offering to write their own reviews. I don't know. What do you all think? Would you respond? If so, how?
Blackcat31 08:18 AM 05-28-2016
Originally Posted by spedmommy4:
So, the dcm that has been turning my life upside down has stopped. I received 8 emails from her, multiple texts, and this Facebook review was posted.
"When I first started my daughter here I was somewhat iffy, I came for a tour and the provider barely said a word to myself or my friend that came along. Regardless I ended up enrolling my daughter and even going into the first day the provider still barely talked to me, no encouraging words, and id have to ask all the questions to get ANY amount of information from her about my child, although yes its the parents job to ask questions i feel the provider should be offering up things such as how my child's day wen't etc. Things seemed to get better going down the road at least with the communication and acknowledgement. Many times at pick up or drop off id see the provider sitting in a chair just staring at the children or even on her phone, being that I'm a teacher myself I know one of the components of being a high quality childcare is teacher and child interactions.
I also noticed that she talked about other family's to others "gossip" and that is so unprofessional, things are to be kept confidential when you are a provider or even in any field! Tuesday my daughter got sick at school as I was at work. I work as a preschool teacher as well and am not able to have my phone in my room for liability and safety reasons. ***** had called my phone and texted once to let me know but I did not get the message until my break time. She could have easily looked up my work number and got ahold of me right away! Instead she called her employees who were not at work yet and told them I was ignoring her and had one of them call me on my work phone. As soon as i got the call i texted ***** back to see what was going on, and then proceeded to make arrangements to leave work ASAP. Meanwhile as I'm making arrangements ***** is texting me and telling me things like you need to figure this out and get her, etc. Im sorry but I'm a teacher I can not just walk out especially with kids in my room, it takes some time to make arrangements. Upon arriving at 10 something **** greets me with comments such as how much my child three up, and all the spots on her floor she hit, and how shes glad she didn't have rugs down etc. She showed not one ounce of consideration or worry about my daughter just her floors. To top is off i hear later that day that my daughter was screaming for her other teacher and ***** would not allow that other teacher to comfort my child instead she sent that teacher outside. I decided to pull my daughter early because of this and due to my schedule change so Wednesday was my daughters last day. When I showed up to pick my daughter up ***** did not say a word or even make eye contact until I asked her a question. Then as we are leaving I said Thank you for everything, and she goes "yeah sure." Thats it not even a goodbye to my child who she'd been with for months! Her last petty move was deleting and blocking me from a group she created called High Quality Childcare in San Joaquin county. I have been posting on it and was communicating with a few people, I tried to get on this morning and it sent me an alert saying I had been blocked from viewing the page. Thinking oh maybe she deleted the group since shes moving I went on through another account to find that the group is still there! Im sorry but these are NOT actions of a High Quality childcare provider! I am not happy."
One of my other clients was there for most of the time her child was there on the day she was ill. To address her "concerns.": Her daughter is deathly afraid of steam cleaners and vaccuum and I had to clean up vomit multiple times while waiting for her. Her daughter kept yelling, "turn it off" and I kept responding, "it's okay." I couldn't comfort the child as I had to remove the vomit from the floor.
She makes a conflicting statement that I barely talk to her and that I gossip. I never gave personal information about other families. This mom texted me, sometimes daily. The child is two. I only give daily updates to parents of infants, I responded to all of her texts, (even after hours) and the parent declined to attend a parent teacher conference.
Admitted, I may have had my phone out more the last month. We have been in the process of buying a house and moving. Lots of the loan docs are time sensitive and I have been multi tasking. Up until then I had been involved in her weekly (sometimes 2-3x's weekly) therapy, which dcm didn't have time for, and the whole nine yards.
I did call my employee to contact her at work for three reasons. First, this dcm did not give me updated contact information when she changed jobs. Second, my employee was hired on at dcm's place of employment and knew the number. Third, I had 6 kids and was all by myself with a floor covered in vomit. I didn't have a lot of time to Google search the number and hunt her down.
My child care is enrolled in QRIS and we are a tier 5 here. Our teacher interactions have been assessed and rated stellar. Her child went from 15 words to 6 word sentences in 7 months. She posted a ton of pictures of her kid having fun at our family events and now she is throwing a tantrum because I removed her from a family childcare Facebook group for spamming ads for a childcare CENTER??
Anyway, my options are to respond to this nonsense or leave the review section off of Facebook altogether. Leaving the review section off also means I had to change the category to one that makes me harder to find when I reopen later. Her tantrum seems to have subsided so I know I risk reigniting the firestorm by posting any response to this.
My current clients that are hanging with me until the very end are offering to write their own reviews. I don't know. What do you all think? Would you respond? If so, how?
My advice is to take the high road. So, the dcm that has been turning my life upside down has stopped. I received 8 emails from her, multiple texts, and this Facebook review was posted.
"When I first started my daughter here I was somewhat iffy, I came for a tour and the provider barely said a word to myself or my friend that came along. Regardless I ended up enrolling my daughter and even going into the first day the provider still barely talked to me, no encouraging words, and id have to ask all the questions to get ANY amount of information from her about my child, although yes its the parents job to ask questions i feel the provider should be offering up things such as how my child's day wen't etc. Things seemed to get better going down the road at least with the communication and acknowledgement. Many times at pick up or drop off id see the provider sitting in a chair just staring at the children or even on her phone, being that I'm a teacher myself I know one of the components of being a high quality childcare is teacher and child interactions.
I also noticed that she talked about other family's to others "gossip" and that is so unprofessional, things are to be kept confidential when you are a provider or even in any field! Tuesday my daughter got sick at school as I was at work. I work as a preschool teacher as well and am not able to have my phone in my room for liability and safety reasons. ***** had called my phone and texted once to let me know but I did not get the message until my break time. She could have easily looked up my work number and got ahold of me right away! Instead she called her employees who were not at work yet and told them I was ignoring her and had one of them call me on my work phone. As soon as i got the call i texted ***** back to see what was going on, and then proceeded to make arrangements to leave work ASAP. Meanwhile as I'm making arrangements ***** is texting me and telling me things like you need to figure this out and get her, etc. Im sorry but I'm a teacher I can not just walk out especially with kids in my room, it takes some time to make arrangements. Upon arriving at 10 something **** greets me with comments such as how much my child three up, and all the spots on her floor she hit, and how shes glad she didn't have rugs down etc. She showed not one ounce of consideration or worry about my daughter just her floors. To top is off i hear later that day that my daughter was screaming for her other teacher and ***** would not allow that other teacher to comfort my child instead she sent that teacher outside. I decided to pull my daughter early because of this and due to my schedule change so Wednesday was my daughters last day. When I showed up to pick my daughter up ***** did not say a word or even make eye contact until I asked her a question. Then as we are leaving I said Thank you for everything, and she goes "yeah sure." Thats it not even a goodbye to my child who she'd been with for months! Her last petty move was deleting and blocking me from a group she created called High Quality Childcare in San Joaquin county. I have been posting on it and was communicating with a few people, I tried to get on this morning and it sent me an alert saying I had been blocked from viewing the page. Thinking oh maybe she deleted the group since shes moving I went on through another account to find that the group is still there! Im sorry but these are NOT actions of a High Quality childcare provider! I am not happy."
One of my other clients was there for most of the time her child was there on the day she was ill. To address her "concerns.": Her daughter is deathly afraid of steam cleaners and vaccuum and I had to clean up vomit multiple times while waiting for her. Her daughter kept yelling, "turn it off" and I kept responding, "it's okay." I couldn't comfort the child as I had to remove the vomit from the floor.
She makes a conflicting statement that I barely talk to her and that I gossip. I never gave personal information about other families. This mom texted me, sometimes daily. The child is two. I only give daily updates to parents of infants, I responded to all of her texts, (even after hours) and the parent declined to attend a parent teacher conference.
Admitted, I may have had my phone out more the last month. We have been in the process of buying a house and moving. Lots of the loan docs are time sensitive and I have been multi tasking. Up until then I had been involved in her weekly (sometimes 2-3x's weekly) therapy, which dcm didn't have time for, and the whole nine yards.
I did call my employee to contact her at work for three reasons. First, this dcm did not give me updated contact information when she changed jobs. Second, my employee was hired on at dcm's place of employment and knew the number. Third, I had 6 kids and was all by myself with a floor covered in vomit. I didn't have a lot of time to Google search the number and hunt her down.
My child care is enrolled in QRIS and we are a tier 5 here. Our teacher interactions have been assessed and rated stellar. Her child went from 15 words to 6 word sentences in 7 months. She posted a ton of pictures of her kid having fun at our family events and now she is throwing a tantrum because I removed her from a family childcare Facebook group for spamming ads for a childcare CENTER??
Anyway, my options are to respond to this nonsense or leave the review section off of Facebook altogether. Leaving the review section off also means I had to change the category to one that makes me harder to find when I reopen later. Her tantrum seems to have subsided so I know I risk reigniting the firestorm by posting any response to this.
My current clients that are hanging with me until the very end are offering to write their own reviews. I don't know. What do you all think? Would you respond? If so, how?
Sometimes silence is the loudest reply.
IMHO, her review says much more about her than it does you. Especially the beginning.
You are moving in a few days.
In the words of Dr Seuss "Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” (actually it was Bernard Baruch that said it but either way it's true
) Focus your time and energy on you, your family and those clients that are sticking through to the end.
To devote any time or energy to this disgruntled client would be unfair and inconsiderate to you, your family and your current clients.
Blackcat31 08:19 AM 05-28-2016
Add your review section back in later.
After you are settled and she's moved on.
After you are settled and she's moved on.
spedmommy4 10:11 AM 05-28-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Add your review section back in later.
After you are settled and she's moved on.
I guess I feel like the down side to that is there are currently no other reviews on Facebook. A few other of my other parents have 5 star reviewed me, but on Yelp. I know she's crazy but I have no idea how crazy this sounds to someone looking for childcare.Add your review section back in later.
After you are settled and she's moved on.
Josiegirl 03:17 AM 05-29-2016
This is always a hard decision for me to make. While I agree we should always try to take the high road, I feel we need to tell our side of the story as well. But then it becomes an ugly battle. We should all be able to defend ourselves, especially when it comes to our business. And when people are searching for dc, they're liable to take anything they hear or read about it, as truth and avoid it. 
You all know how people are when they reply to stuff online that they've read; people are proven guilty without a second thought. I hate that but it happens more often than not.
I think eliminating your reviews for now is a good idea. Maybe ask your current dcfs to write up reference letters to share with any prospective future dcfs and get their permission to receive phone calls/questions about your dc.
You all know how people are when they reply to stuff online that they've read; people are proven guilty without a second thought. I hate that but it happens more often than not. I think eliminating your reviews for now is a good idea. Maybe ask your current dcfs to write up reference letters to share with any prospective future dcfs and get their permission to receive phone calls/questions about your dc.
childcaremom 08:26 AM 05-29-2016
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
This is always a hard decision for me to make. While I agree we should always try to take the high road, I feel we need to tell our side of the story as well. But then it becomes an ugly battle. We should all be able to defend ourselves, especially when it comes to our business. And when people are searching for dc, they're liable to take anything they hear or read about it, as truth and avoid it. You all know how people are when they reply to stuff online that they've read; people are proven guilty without a second thought. I hate that but it happens more often than not.
I think eliminating your reviews for now is a good idea. Maybe ask your current dcfs to write up reference letters to share with any prospective future dcfs and get their permission to receive phone calls/questions about your dc.
This is always a hard decision for me to make. While I agree we should always try to take the high road, I feel we need to tell our side of the story as well. But then it becomes an ugly battle. We should all be able to defend ourselves, especially when it comes to our business. And when people are searching for dc, they're liable to take anything they hear or read about it, as truth and avoid it.
You all know how people are when they reply to stuff online that they've read; people are proven guilty without a second thought. I hate that but it happens more often than not. I think eliminating your reviews for now is a good idea. Maybe ask your current dcfs to write up reference letters to share with any prospective future dcfs and get their permission to receive phone calls/questions about your dc.
I like this idea. Maybe even post the letters on fb or your website?
Ariana 03:28 PM 05-29-2016
I rent houses through VRBO and to be honest when there is a negative review it is always helpful when the owner responds to that bad review. It is especially great when they respond in a very professional, business like manner, addressing each concern individually without emotion. When I see that then I know for sure the person writing the review is a moron because this person took the time to be professional and address each concern.
Just my two cents.
Just my two cents.
spedmommy4 05:11 PM 05-29-2016
Originally Posted by Ariana:
I rent houses through VRBO and to be honest when there is a negative review it is always helpful when the owner responds to that bad review. It is especially great when they respond in a very professional, business like manner, addressing each concern individually without emotion. When I see that then I know for sure the person writing the review is a moron because this person took the time to be professional and address each concern.
Just my two cents.
This is what I did. One of my friends handled these types of things for her former company. She wrote a short, professional response. Attached to my response was a grid photo of all this same dcm's amazingly positive comments/pictures that she had posted to my page. (And likely forgotten about).I rent houses through VRBO and to be honest when there is a negative review it is always helpful when the owner responds to that bad review. It is especially great when they respond in a very professional, business like manner, addressing each concern individually without emotion. When I see that then I know for sure the person writing the review is a moron because this person took the time to be professional and address each concern.
Just my two cents.
I've also banned her and dcd's account she so she can't post to my page anymore. As a precaution, I also set visitor posts to moderated.
My other parents have started posting reviews of their own. The reviews about me, my staff, and even my family were so nice that I know I'm going to have a good cry on Friday now.
and :-(
Josiegirl 03:48 AM 05-30-2016
Wise choice and very professional spedmommy!!!
sleepinghart 06:41 AM 05-30-2016
Originally Posted by spedmommy4:
This is what I did. One of my friends handled these types of things for her former company. She wrote a short, professional response. Attached to my response was a grid photo of all this same dcm's amazingly positive comments/pictures that she had posted to my page. (And likely forgotten about).
I've also banned her and dcd's account she so she can't post to my page anymore. As a precaution, I also set visitor posts to moderated.
My other parents have started posting reviews of their own. The reviews about me, my staff, and even my family were so nice that I know I'm going to have a good cry on Friday now. and :-(
(^^bolding^^ by me)This is what I did. One of my friends handled these types of things for her former company. She wrote a short, professional response. Attached to my response was a grid photo of all this same dcm's amazingly positive comments/pictures that she had posted to my page. (And likely forgotten about).
I've also banned her and dcd's account she so she can't post to my page anymore. As a precaution, I also set visitor posts to moderated.
My other parents have started posting reviews of their own. The reviews about me, my staff, and even my family were so nice that I know I'm going to have a good cry on Friday now.
and :-(~What a 
BRILLIANT way to respond! ...A brilliant & perfect way! I wonder what DCM thought of that
!
spedmommy4 08:26 AM 05-30-2016
Originally Posted by sleepinghart:
(^^bolding^^ by me)
~What a BRILLIANT way to respond! ...A brilliant & perfect way! I wonder what DCM thought of that!
A picture is worth a thousand words. I figured she can't really argue with her own glowing public posts. And ultimately, I decided to keep it classy. (^^bolding^^ by me)
~What a BRILLIANT way to respond! ...A brilliant & perfect way! I wonder what DCM thought of that!