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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>First Time Terming and Nervous
Ac114 02:13 PM 05-31-2018
Ugh! I have to term for the first time and I’m nervous. I watch 2.5 year old brother and mom asked for summer care for 3 older brothers. I met the oldest 2 but never the 5 year old. Mom said he had ADD and immature so they had him do a 2nd year of preschool. Definitely not the case. This child is either on the spectrum or has severe delays. Step dad slipped and said he does have ODD, several delays and goes to anger management for his aggressive behavior. He’s been here 3 days and so far he has body slammed his 2.5 brother, kicked me twice, kicked my wall, Thrown several temper tantrums, tried to pull kids of the swing as the were swinging, hit my 4 year old, flipped over my patio furniture and I don’t even know what else I’m missing. Every single night I’m on the verge of tears because of how dangerous this child is and how I am not equipped to deal with him in group care. He needs a personal aid. I’m relieved but anxious. Send me positive vibes!
sharlan 02:19 PM 05-31-2018
Originally Posted by Ac114:
Ugh! I have to term for the first time and I’m nervous. I watch 2.5 year old brother and mom asked for summer care for 3 older brothers. I met the oldest 2 but never the 5 year old. Mom said he had ADD and immature so they had him do a 2nd year of preschool. Definitely not the case. This child is either on the spectrum or has severe delays. Step dad slipped and said he does have ODD, several delays and goes to anger management for his aggressive behavior. He’s been here 3 days and so far he has body slammed his 2.5 brother, kicked me twice, kicked my wall, Thrown several temper tantrums, tried to pull kids of the swing as the were swinging, hit my 4 year old, flipped over my patio furniture and I don’t even know what else I’m missing. Every single night I’m on the verge of tears because of how dangerous this child is and how I am not equipped to deal with him in group care. He needs a personal aid. I’m relieved but anxious. Send me positive vibes!
Wow! all can say is thoughts and prayers. I couldn't handle that.Ugh! I have to term for the first time and I’m nervous. I watch 2.5 year old brother and mom asked for summer care for 3 older brothers. I met the oldest 2 but never the 5 year old. Mom said he had ADD and immature so they had him do a 2nd year of preschool. Definitely not the case. This child is either on the spectrum or has severe delays. Step dad slipped and said he does have ODD, several delays and goes to anger management for his aggressive behavior. He’s been here 3 days and so far he has body slammed his 2.5 brother, kicked me twice, kicked my wall, Thrown several temper tantrums, tried to pull kids of the swing as the were swinging, hit my 4 year old, flipped over my patio furniture and I don’t even know what else I’m missing. Every single night I’m on the verge of tears because of how dangerous this child is and how I am not equipped to deal with him in group care. He needs a personal aid. I’m relieved but anxious. Send me positive vibes!
Blackcat31 02:37 PM 05-31-2018
Definitely wishing you luck!
Given the fact that the parents "hid" from you his issues, I too would be terminating care. I doubt this is the first time the child (family) will be termed from a program.
Given the fact that the parents "hid" from you his issues, I too would be terminating care. I doubt this is the first time the child (family) will be termed from a program.
Josiegirl 02:53 PM 05-31-2018
Be strong and firm and don't let them talk you into anything! Once a provider gets to the point you've reached with a child, it's definitely time to let them go. He needs someone who specializes in that type of care, or one on one care. He's dangerous to all the others. 
I hope it's an immediate term? I'd be scared to allow him to come back for even 1 more day.
I hope it's an immediate term? I'd be scared to allow him to come back for even 1 more day.
e.j. 03:14 PM 05-31-2018
Wishing you luck tonight. Hopefully, the parents will be reasonable and understand there is no way you can keep a child in your care who behaves the way he does. Are you prepared to lose the other boys as well? (Based on what you've shared, it'd be worth it!)
Blackcat31 06:47 AM 06-01-2018
How did it go?
Ac114 07:46 AM 06-01-2018
It actually went really well. She said she understood and her child is very hard for her to even deal with and wasn’t sure how he would do with a private sitter with mixed ages. Grandparents and aunt have always watched him and they no longer want too (understandably so) she is going to see if she can enroll him in a day camp type setting. The youngest is staying for sure and the other 2 are possibly staying based on her talking with her ex and their plans. Youngest is with her new husband and her husband had already stated that he didn’t want one child to ruin care for his so if it was a problem to let him know immediately. I tried. But this child honestly needs either a parent to stay home with him or someone who is specialized with his disability.
Blackcat31 07:55 AM 06-01-2018
Originally Posted by Ac114:
It actually went really well. She said she understood and her child is very hard for her to even deal with and wasn’t sure how he would do with a private sitter with mixed ages. Grandparents and aunt have always watched him and they no longer want too (understandably so) she is going to see if she can enroll him in a day camp type setting. The youngest is staying for sure and the other 2 are possibly staying based on her talking with her ex and their plans. Youngest is with her new husband and her husband had already stated that he didn’t want one child to ruin care for his so if it was a problem to let him know immediately. I tried. But this child honestly needs either a parent to stay home with him or someone who is specialized with his disability.
So glad it went okay! It actually went really well. She said she understood and her child is very hard for her to even deal with and wasn’t sure how he would do with a private sitter with mixed ages. Grandparents and aunt have always watched him and they no longer want too (understandably so) she is going to see if she can enroll him in a day camp type setting. The youngest is staying for sure and the other 2 are possibly staying based on her talking with her ex and their plans. Youngest is with her new husband and her husband had already stated that he didn’t want one child to ruin care for his so if it was a problem to let him know immediately. I tried. But this child honestly needs either a parent to stay home with him or someone who is specialized with his disability.
Sounds like this family is not in denial about the child's situation at all and that is good. It never helps a child when parents are in denial.
Are they special services available for him in your area?
We have summer camp programs here for kids that have developmental and/or mental health needs beyond normal care arrangements. Wondering if your community has anything similar that you could refer them to.