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  #1  
Old 01-12-2012, 10:36 AM
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Default So Sad Today...Sorry...Long.....

To fill you in: Young mom (mom 1) brings her daughter to me as a newborn. She's 5 now and still here. Mom 1 recommends me to her sister (mom 2) for her 1 year old daughter.

I start tending one year old. (is 4, almost 5 now) Mom2 gets pregnant, but the baby girl is stillborn. This the second stillborn baby. The strain of it all causes Mom 2's marriage to crumble and they divorce.

Mom 2 remarries,and gives birth to a healthy baby boy but their marriage is rocky and hubby seems to move out every other week, only to get back together a few days later.

Two months ago, the husband lost his job and they lost their state funding and had to pull the kids out of day care, but I see them regularly as they often pick up Mom1's little girl.

Mom1 called me very upset from the hospital yesterday. Mom2 and hubby had another fight and he left. Mom2 took 2 bottles of meds and tried to commit suicide.

The 4 year old daughter had the insight to call her daddy (the first husband) and said "something's wrong with mommy".

He left his job and arrived at the home 20 mins later to find his ex-wife blue on the floor. He called 911 and emergency crews rushed her to the trauma unit here.

She is still not responsive. The docs say even if she comes around, they don't yet know what damage was done as they don't know how long she was without oxygen. They are giving her a 50/50 chance. She is only 29 years old.

I am so gut wrenched. I have come to know the whole extended family and they are devastated. The husband is blaming himself and is falling apart.

The girl has been through a lot in her short years. Who wants to have buried two babies by age 29? Two marriages (both guys seem very nice, but who knows what goes on behind closed doors)

But suicide????????

She has been a good mother...but she did this with the two youngest kids in the house. What if the 4 year old didn't know how to call her daddy?

The baby boy (1 yr) will not remember anything, but the 4 year old girl watched her mother collapse, and was alone with her until her dad got there, watched her dad call 911, watched emergency crews work on her mom and then take her away. My heart aches so much for that sweet little girl. She must have been (and still is) so scared.

If her mom pulls through, we don't know if she will be ok mentally. If she dies, the fathers will each get custody of their birth children and this poor little girl will lose her brother too.......what a mess......having a hard time being cheerful for my day care kids today.....

...sorry for venting, but it helps to tell someone, you know?
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  #2  
Old 01-12-2012, 11:02 AM
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That is a horrible story, and I am sure you are heartbroken. I am sorry you are going through this, and even more sorry for that poor family. Hug your family today - time is precious!!!!!
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  #3  
Old 01-12-2012, 11:03 AM
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(((HUGS)))

I almost cried reading this.

I hope the mom pulls through and is okay and gets the counseling and help she needs .
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Old 01-12-2012, 11:03 AM
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so sorry (((((hugs)))))
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Old 01-12-2012, 11:07 AM
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Wow

This makes me think of the qoute, " Be kind to those you meet for everyone is struggling with some sort of battle."
Or along those lines.
My heart goes out to all
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  #6  
Old 01-12-2012, 11:09 AM
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OH, how horrible for everyone involved!

My thoughts and prayers to all.
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  #7  
Old 01-12-2012, 11:11 AM
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Oh, dear. I cried reading this. For them and for you. I am so sorry and I know we aren't supposed to let our emotions get involved, but it's impossible.

Lots of hugs.
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  #8  
Old 01-12-2012, 11:14 AM
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Thanks ladies...sure hoping and praying for a good outcome to this.
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Old 01-12-2012, 11:15 AM
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the drama they have going on is one thing, but suicide is a whole other basket of issues....

I have personally had 2 family members commit suicide so I know how hard it can be and the emotions that go with it.

...there are no words
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  #10  
Old 01-12-2012, 11:21 AM
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WOW! How sad! Hope she makes it.
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  #11  
Old 01-12-2012, 11:56 AM
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If mom does not make it, please get them some information about grief counseling for children. My sister lost her 3rd child when my niece and nephew were 9 & 4. The oldest girl found her (she had suffocated), and the little boy was there to witness much of what you've described, plus med flight (they were at their country cabin).

For a long time, my nephew freaked out whenever he was a helicopter.

All is well now (as well as it can be when a family looses a child), but I know my niece and nephew participated in a grief camp (a summer camp specifically for children who have lost loved ones), and additional counseling.

We are in WI, but there is probably something similar in your area. Maybe contact a hospital social services person. They may already refer them, but sometimes it helps to hear it from a trusted friend.

I am praying for the family...
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  #12  
Old 01-12-2012, 12:01 PM
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Just want to wrap my arms around you and hold you while you cry. I'm sending love and prayers towards everyone. This is so horrible.
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  #13  
Old 01-12-2012, 12:14 PM
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That's awful-to be so young and so without hope. Keeping the family in my prayers. And you too.
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  #14  
Old 01-12-2012, 12:16 PM
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I am sorry Meeko.

Prayers sent.
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  #15  
Old 01-12-2012, 12:22 PM
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I hope she pulls through. It shows you how fast things can spiral out of control. I have a neighbor that lost his CFO job at a large company. Started his own business and lost that, then his house and then his wife dies of cancer a month ago. The guy was living in his car and was willing to take any job. Our other neighbor spoke to him a couple weeks ago and is giving him a room in his house until he can get his feet back on the ground.

That is what makes a difference. When people come together and help. I hope this family strives to pull together. There is so much to be thankful for EVEN when things seem down. Perspective is everything.
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  #16  
Old 01-12-2012, 01:27 PM
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this sounds so awful.....I wonder if perhaps there is also some post partum depression added onto the issues as well. I hope this family is able to overcome all obstacles, especially for the kids sake!
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Old 01-12-2012, 01:30 PM
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Ahh bawling for them and you!!!
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  #18  
Old 01-12-2012, 01:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bbo View Post
If mom does not make it, please get them some information about grief counseling for children. My sister lost her 3rd child when my niece and nephew were 9 & 4. The oldest girl found her (she had suffocated), and the little boy was there to witness much of what you've described, plus med flight (they were at their country cabin).

For a long time, my nephew freaked out whenever he was a helicopter.

All is well now (as well as it can be when a family looses a child), but I know my niece and nephew participated in a grief camp (a summer camp specifically for children who have lost loved ones), and additional counseling.

We are in WI, but there is probably something similar in your area. Maybe contact a hospital social services person. They may already refer them, but sometimes it helps to hear it from a trusted friend.

I am praying for the family...
Thank you for the info. sadly, she passed away this afternoon.
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  #19  
Old 01-12-2012, 01:48 PM
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Thanks for all the written hugs. Sadly, she passed away this afternoon. Her sister called me an hour ago.

So very sad.

Her mother passed away about 10 years ago from cancer at a fairly young age. So I am trying to think of her in the arms of her mother and being reunited with her two darling daughters. Both were full term stillborn and looked like sleeping angels. At least she is at peace now.

It's the family left behind who need all the prayers now.
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  #20  
Old 01-12-2012, 01:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Meeko60 View Post
Thank you for the info. sadly, she passed away this afternoon.
So sorry.

Please make sure you pass on the info about grief counseling for the children. This is something that people NEVER recover from.
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  #21  
Old 01-12-2012, 01:49 PM
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Oh no. That poor family.
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  #22  
Old 01-12-2012, 01:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
So sorry.

Please make sure you pass on the info about grief counseling for the children. This is something that people NEVER recover from.
I sure will. The baby has only just turned a year, so I think he will be fine. But the 4 year old girl is going to need some help. She's a quiet, sweet little angel and it breaks my heart that she had to witness that.
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  #23  
Old 01-12-2012, 01:54 PM
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This defines the word "tragic" on so many levels. As you said, at least she is at peace now and with her loved ones who passed before her.

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  #24  
Old 01-12-2012, 02:12 PM
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so sorry. My thoughts are with her and her family and everyone this will affect.

Terrible and tragic.
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Old 01-12-2012, 04:48 PM
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How horrible.

Sending prayers your way and to the family. Poor little girl....
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  #26  
Old 01-12-2012, 07:19 PM
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That is just the most horrible story I don't even know what to say....

So sorry you're going through this.
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Old 01-14-2012, 06:42 AM
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Any update??? Ive had this on my prayer list
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Old 01-14-2012, 07:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Meeko60 View Post
Thank you for the info. sadly, she passed away this afternoon.
I'm sorry, Meeko. My condolences to all of you...
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  #29  
Old 01-14-2012, 07:59 AM
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I just read the update. My heart goes out to this little girl. I pray that the father gets her into some kind of counseling ASAP.
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Old 01-14-2012, 10:22 AM
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Sending love,... Lots of love. My heart is breaking for the family.
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Old 01-14-2012, 10:34 AM
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How horrible.
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Old 01-14-2012, 01:02 PM
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This is very tragic!! I am so sorry for that family's loss and your own loss as well! HUGS

It just goes to show we never know from 1 minute to the next what will happen. I hug my kids as much as possible and remind my friends and family just what they mean to me!

Prayers going out!
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Old 01-14-2012, 09:20 PM
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Her funeral is next Saturday and she is going to buried with her two baby daughters that passed before her.

I have been touched to see her Facebook page which has been flooded with pictures that people had of themselves with her. I so wish she could have understood how much she was loved by so many.

She is in a better place...now for the healing to begin for her family. After the funeral they are having a big "Thanksgiving" style dinner for a big crowd to celebrate her life instead of mourn it.

They have already made arrangements for therapy for her 4 year old daughter to deal with things. I so hope it helps.
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Old 01-15-2012, 06:39 AM
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First off im am truly sorry that you and her family has to go through this!!!!!!!!! Now It makes me livid for a mother to be so selfish!!!!!!!! Yes I feel nothing for the women who passed. she didnt think about her children before she did this. Her older child had to defend her self and thank god was smart enough to call her daddy. Im srry if I sound like a cold hearted person but I had a time in life when I was depressed but the only thing that kept me waking up in the am was my children. How does a person leave their child to defend her and the younger one. Now those poor kids are split up
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Old 01-15-2012, 07:34 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by melissathayer28 View Post
First off im am truly sorry that you and her family has to go through this!!!!!!!!! Now It makes me livid for a mother to be so selfish!!!!!!!! Yes I feel nothing for the women who passed. she didnt think about her children before she did this. Her older child had to defend her self and thank god was smart enough to call her daddy. Im srry if I sound like a cold hearted person but I had a time in life when I was depressed but the only thing that kept me waking up in the am was my children. How does a person leave their child to defend her and the younger one. Now those poor kids are split up
I agree with you partly but I also think that her family and friends could have helped more. It's really sad when these things happen and all kinds of family/friends suddenly come around to help when it's too late.
She had to have sent out some sort of clues that she needed help.
I do feel bad for the whole family including the mom, but I do agree that suicide is a selfish act.
I am wondering though if there was some kind of chemical imbalance,post partem, or mental disorders going on.
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Old 01-15-2012, 10:30 AM
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I'm just now reading this. I am SO sorry to hear it. How awful for that family and for you, Meeko.
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  #37  
Old 01-15-2012, 11:37 AM
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I guess this is a wake up call that depression can lead to something like this, the poor 4 year old and little boy have to be the ones to suffer, my heart goes out to them.....sorry Meeko you have to deal with this situation it must so saddening
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  #38  
Old 01-15-2012, 09:33 PM
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I guess this is a wake up call that depression can lead to something like this, the poor 4 year old and little boy have to be the ones to suffer, my heart goes out to them.....sorry Meeko you have to deal with this situation it must so saddening
I'm so sorry to hear that. Praying for you and their family.
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Old 01-16-2012, 01:22 PM
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Oh, how devastating. Lots of prayers for this family and for you.
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Old 01-16-2012, 01:31 PM
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this really is a very very sad story....just when you think your life is hard or taht things are tough, there is always someone else who is worse off than yourself. I feel so sad that the mom had no one she could trust to turn to so that she could talk about her problems. I can't agree that it was selfish, we don't know what she was going through.

My best friend lost the love of her life when he took his life. His troubles were so deep and i know he felt there was no way out. I don't agree with what he did, but when someone is that rock bottom, i don't think that they truly have a sense of reality.

I hope that the situations takes a turn for the better for everyone.
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