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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Rejoin Group After Crying Spot
LovingLife 07:12 AM 05-28-2015
Hi everyone! I've been reading and gathering advice for a while now, first time posting. 
I have a 3yo dcb who will randomly cry (more of a scream/yell...usually very few actual tears if any) and run to the crying spot. I've had him since he was 10 mo. and my rule has always been when you are done please come back and have some fun. My problem is that he will not rejoin the group unless I 'tell' him to (which usually means he starts crying again...I'm using a friendly normal voice), or basically sweet talk him to come (which I refuse to do). What I do now is to remind him as I pass by "when you are done come and play" or when a friend asks why he is still sitting there remind everyone of the rule that when you are done you may come back and play. How do I get him to 'follow' the rule? I've reviewed the rule several times a day when he's not there, and again when he is. He gets lots of 'special' attention on the days he is with Grandma, and I've nipped a lot of his expectations for special attention by ignoring it and/or continuing to treat him the same as the rest of the group.
Today during playdough, he repeatedly asked ds to make him things, and then ripped them apart. As he asked again, I suggested that maybe he try to make it himself or ask ds to show him how and he ran to the crying spot and yelled for a few minutes. I've given reminders to come and have fun when he's done, but he just sits there, or will let out a few fake cries.
Thanks for the help!
I have a 3yo dcb who will randomly cry (more of a scream/yell...usually very few actual tears if any) and run to the crying spot. I've had him since he was 10 mo. and my rule has always been when you are done please come back and have some fun. My problem is that he will not rejoin the group unless I 'tell' him to (which usually means he starts crying again...I'm using a friendly normal voice), or basically sweet talk him to come (which I refuse to do). What I do now is to remind him as I pass by "when you are done come and play" or when a friend asks why he is still sitting there remind everyone of the rule that when you are done you may come back and play. How do I get him to 'follow' the rule? I've reviewed the rule several times a day when he's not there, and again when he is. He gets lots of 'special' attention on the days he is with Grandma, and I've nipped a lot of his expectations for special attention by ignoring it and/or continuing to treat him the same as the rest of the group.
Today during playdough, he repeatedly asked ds to make him things, and then ripped them apart. As he asked again, I suggested that maybe he try to make it himself or ask ds to show him how and he ran to the crying spot and yelled for a few minutes. I've given reminders to come and have fun when he's done, but he just sits there, or will let out a few fake cries.
Thanks for the help!
NoMoreJuice! 07:22 AM 05-28-2015
I would just totally ignore this behavior. Reminding him to come play is just feeding it, in my opinion. I wouldn't even glance in his direction except to check and see if he's safe.
Sounds like a handful...good luck!
Sounds like a handful...good luck!
cheerfuldom 07:30 AM 05-28-2015
I would leave him with no reminders.....possibly move the spot farther away or have him face away from the kids. I would leave some books there or a quiet activity so it is less of a punishment and more of a break from things he cant or wont handle at the moment.
jenboo 08:36 AM 05-28-2015
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I would leave him with no reminders.....possibly move the spot farther away or have him face away from the kids. I would leave some books there or a quiet activity so it is less of a punishment and more of a break from things he cant or wont handle at the moment.
I would leave him with no reminders.....possibly move the spot farther away or have him face away from the kids. I would leave some books there or a quiet activity so it is less of a punishment and more of a break from things he cant or wont handle at the moment.
daycare 08:43 AM 05-28-2015
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I would leave him with no reminders.....possibly move the spot farther away or have him face away from the kids. I would leave some books there or a quiet activity so it is less of a punishment and more of a break from things he cant or wont handle at the moment.
I second this.....I would leave him with no reminders.....possibly move the spot farther away or have him face away from the kids. I would leave some books there or a quiet activity so it is less of a punishment and more of a break from things he cant or wont handle at the moment.
I have this child too. I would remind the child to use their words. we don't know how to help you when you scream/cry___________(fill in the blank)
I think that ignoring the behavior is the best thing that you can really do.
LovingLife 10:27 AM 05-28-2015
Thank you! Ignore is exactly what I wanted to do, but started second guessing myself. 
I have to remind myself he knows the rules...and he will eventually come back and play. My crying spot is around the corner from the main daycare portion, where I can see and maintain safety, but they can't see what the kids are doing. I have a couple 'screen kids' who try to watch me/us like we are a TV show anyways...if my crying spot was in full playing view, I think they'd never leave! I will try a few books etc. in our spot. I try to remind him to use words, but he just screams louder and runs to the crying spot. I have been really trying to reinforce when he does use words and ask for help, etc. I just never know what will set off the fireworks. Thanks again!
I have to remind myself he knows the rules...and he will eventually come back and play. My crying spot is around the corner from the main daycare portion, where I can see and maintain safety, but they can't see what the kids are doing. I have a couple 'screen kids' who try to watch me/us like we are a TV show anyways...if my crying spot was in full playing view, I think they'd never leave! I will try a few books etc. in our spot. I try to remind him to use words, but he just screams louder and runs to the crying spot. I have been really trying to reinforce when he does use words and ask for help, etc. I just never know what will set off the fireworks. Thanks again!