Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Mom Putting Her Problems On Me
Unregistered 03:11 PM 12-08-2013
I have a child who is very ill 103.1 and the rule says that they have to be fever free for 24 hours before they can come into care.
Just not looking at the rule and common sense:
My 2 year old had a very severe seizure. He had a high temperature. He cried and slept half the day today. He shivered and cried and was scared. I notified my daycare parents that I would be closed up until that point. Hmmm, lets see 'I have to take him in, right?
The mom started a new job and it just so happens I called in the day of her needing to be at this new job. How is it my fault? I am not going to disregard the rule. Disregard the care my son needs. He needs time to get better. So many parents now just drop there kids off sick and disregard the rule. I am so sick and tired of this crap. So tired of it that I am going to write a notice out to all parents that they have to be fever free for 24 hours after initial fever without being on medication. If they are on medication with a fever, they still have a fever. I should send it to all of the parents employers HR departments too.
This selfish behavior not only effects me but everyone else in my care. I want to write to the newspaper, I am so steamed.
Just not looking at the rule and common sense:
My 2 year old had a very severe seizure. He had a high temperature. He cried and slept half the day today. He shivered and cried and was scared. I notified my daycare parents that I would be closed up until that point. Hmmm, lets see 'I have to take him in, right?
The mom started a new job and it just so happens I called in the day of her needing to be at this new job. How is it my fault? I am not going to disregard the rule. Disregard the care my son needs. He needs time to get better. So many parents now just drop there kids off sick and disregard the rule. I am so sick and tired of this crap. So tired of it that I am going to write a notice out to all parents that they have to be fever free for 24 hours after initial fever without being on medication. If they are on medication with a fever, they still have a fever. I should send it to all of the parents employers HR departments too.
This selfish behavior not only effects me but everyone else in my care. I want to write to the newspaper, I am so steamed.
JoseyJo 03:26 PM 12-08-2013
There is a really good illness policy in this thread:
https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=46626
https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=46626
Unregistered 04:22 PM 12-08-2013
I completely understand where you are coming from as a provider, as I have had several incidents when parents dropped kids off sick and lied about it and ended up getting my kids, myself, or other kids in my care sick.
That being said, I also understand where the dcm is coming from too. I spent many years working outside the home (including the first 7 of my oldest child's life) and never had a job with paid sick days or personal days. In fact, I mostly held jobs that would have fired me if I either did not find someone to cover my shift or found some way to show up anyways. You would be surprised how often this is the case.
IMO, I think it is going a little to far to call their HR department or write the newspaper. I know you are upset (rightfully), but the way you are taking her response is not much different than the way she took your closing. She probably got the same attitude (or will if she has not told them yet) from her employer as you got from her.
Her employer will almost definitely guilt her the way she is guilting you. She is going to feel like she is doing something wrong by missing work, just like she is making you feel like you are doing something wrong by closing. The difference is that you can't lose your job just because you missed a day of work. You may lose a family or two, but you are not going to get fired because you called off. This is one of the few perks of this stressful, demanding, time-consuming line of work that you are in. Enjoy it and take care of your son, and let her worry about her own situation. If she doesn't like it she can quit her job and become a daycare provider--because we all know how EASY this job is (ha!)
That being said, I also understand where the dcm is coming from too. I spent many years working outside the home (including the first 7 of my oldest child's life) and never had a job with paid sick days or personal days. In fact, I mostly held jobs that would have fired me if I either did not find someone to cover my shift or found some way to show up anyways. You would be surprised how often this is the case.
IMO, I think it is going a little to far to call their HR department or write the newspaper. I know you are upset (rightfully), but the way you are taking her response is not much different than the way she took your closing. She probably got the same attitude (or will if she has not told them yet) from her employer as you got from her.
Her employer will almost definitely guilt her the way she is guilting you. She is going to feel like she is doing something wrong by missing work, just like she is making you feel like you are doing something wrong by closing. The difference is that you can't lose your job just because you missed a day of work. You may lose a family or two, but you are not going to get fired because you called off. This is one of the few perks of this stressful, demanding, time-consuming line of work that you are in. Enjoy it and take care of your son, and let her worry about her own situation. If she doesn't like it she can quit her job and become a daycare provider--because we all know how EASY this job is (ha!)
TwinKristi 04:58 PM 12-08-2013
It's her job to have backup care for days that you may be sick or closed. You are human after all. I understand this is important to her, as it is to you. Do you have anyone you could refer her to for backup?
Leigh 07:45 AM 12-09-2013
I most definitely would remind Mom that she is responsible for having back up care in place. Since she was starting a new job, I would also hand her a letter, on my letterhead, addressed to her employer that explained the situation. It would probably make Mom feel better, even though Mom's employer will probably reiterate the importance of having backup care in place and it won't make a bit of difference to the employer.
Heidi 08:08 AM 12-09-2013
From the parent's perspective, though, I do understand her frustration. She just started a new job, and now her day care is not reliable. For very good reason, granted.
Parents need daycare so they can work. If they can't work, they can't pay their bills. Most people don't work for recreation any more than we do.
Back up care for parents is often as much of a challenge as for us. There are just not tons of available people around. Well, you could find a few hangin' around downtown on a weekday afternoon, but not exactly people you'd put in charge of your kiddo.
Parents need daycare so they can work. If they can't work, they can't pay their bills. Most people don't work for recreation any more than we do.
Back up care for parents is often as much of a challenge as for us. There are just not tons of available people around. Well, you could find a few hangin' around downtown on a weekday afternoon, but not exactly people you'd put in charge of your kiddo.
itlw8 09:00 AM 12-09-2013
Her child is sick or yours is. If it is hers she needs to find other care. Sucks to lose a job the first day you start one. but she should know she needs to keep her sick kid home.
It it was yours I would not follow the 24 hour rule just use your best judgement. But If my child was so sick he had a seizure on the weekend I would not wait until Monday to get the child to the dr. We have clinics run by the hospitals that are open on weekends
If it is your baby hope he is feeling better today.
It it was yours I would not follow the 24 hour rule just use your best judgement. But If my child was so sick he had a seizure on the weekend I would not wait until Monday to get the child to the dr. We have clinics run by the hospitals that are open on weekends
If it is your baby hope he is feeling better today.
itlw8 09:02 AM 12-09-2013
People that do not have anyone for back up care like husband takes off or grandma . may need to choose a center even though they want family childcare.
saved4always 10:05 AM 12-09-2013
My contract always said parents are responsible for back up care. I do have a couple neighbors who I give the number of for back up but I wouldn't call them myself. I would also usually give them the option of leaving thier chlld if mine was sick....usually they would be like no way and call my neighbors or stay home themselves.
Honestly, this is why, when I worked full time and my kids were small, we picked using a daycare center instead of in home care. It was much less likely a center would close than a single person providing care. I only got 5 sick days in a rolling calendar (much worse imo than calendar year where you get them all back at once). That was not enough time to allow for a provider's illnesses and emergencies and my family's. It wasn't even enough for my own family. I was always on the verge of being written up. And I had to go to work when I was sick. My husband made more $ than me and he never felt he could miss, so the call ins usually fell on me. The stress of this was actually what caused me to quit working and do daycare in my home.
So, I understand the mom's problem. She will be in jeopardy of losing her job if she misses. That is a big deal. I understand both sides because I have been on both. It is hard balancing your own kids and what the dcp's need and it is hard being a working parent.
Honestly, this is why, when I worked full time and my kids were small, we picked using a daycare center instead of in home care. It was much less likely a center would close than a single person providing care. I only got 5 sick days in a rolling calendar (much worse imo than calendar year where you get them all back at once). That was not enough time to allow for a provider's illnesses and emergencies and my family's. It wasn't even enough for my own family. I was always on the verge of being written up. And I had to go to work when I was sick. My husband made more $ than me and he never felt he could miss, so the call ins usually fell on me. The stress of this was actually what caused me to quit working and do daycare in my home.
So, I understand the mom's problem. She will be in jeopardy of losing her job if she misses. That is a big deal. I understand both sides because I have been on both. It is hard balancing your own kids and what the dcp's need and it is hard being a working parent.
Shell 10:15 AM 12-09-2013
Originally Posted by itlw8:
People that do not have anyone for back up care like husband takes off or grandma . may need to choose a center even though they want family childcare.
People that do not have anyone for back up care like husband takes off or grandma . may need to choose a center even though they want family childcare.
Parents don't want to pay the cost of a daycare center, but then complain when they can't get all the perks of a center, like tons of staff so they don't have to miss a day of work. Can't have it both ways!
Play Care 10:43 AM 12-09-2013
Originally Posted by saved4always:
My contract always said parents are responsible for back up care. I do have a couple neighbors who I give the number of for back up but I wouldn't call them myself. I would also usually give them the option of leaving thier chlld if mine was sick....usually they would be like no way and call my neighbors or stay home themselves.
Honestly, this is why, when I worked full time and my kids were small, we picked using a daycare center instead of in home care. It was much less likely a center would close than a single person providing care. I only got 5 sick days in a rolling calendar (much worse imo than calendar year where you get them all back at once). That was not enough time to allow for a provider's illnesses and emergencies and my family's. It wasn't even enough for my own family. I was always on the verge of being written up. And I had to go to work when I was sick. My husband made more $ than me and he never felt he could miss, so the call ins usually fell on me. The stress of this was actually what caused me to quit working and do daycare in my home.
So, I understand the mom's problem. She will be in jeopardy of losing her job if she misses. That is a big deal. I understand both sides because I have been on both. It is hard balancing your own kids and what the dcp's need and it is hard being a working parent.
My contract always said parents are responsible for back up care. I do have a couple neighbors who I give the number of for back up but I wouldn't call them myself. I would also usually give them the option of leaving thier chlld if mine was sick....usually they would be like no way and call my neighbors or stay home themselves.
Honestly, this is why, when I worked full time and my kids were small, we picked using a daycare center instead of in home care. It was much less likely a center would close than a single person providing care. I only got 5 sick days in a rolling calendar (much worse imo than calendar year where you get them all back at once). That was not enough time to allow for a provider's illnesses and emergencies and my family's. It wasn't even enough for my own family. I was always on the verge of being written up. And I had to go to work when I was sick. My husband made more $ than me and he never felt he could miss, so the call ins usually fell on me. The stress of this was actually what caused me to quit working and do daycare in my home.
So, I understand the mom's problem. She will be in jeopardy of losing her job if she misses. That is a big deal. I understand both sides because I have been on both. It is hard balancing your own kids and what the dcp's need and it is hard being a working parent.
Soccermom 11:05 AM 12-10-2013
This is one of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to DCPS. They don't have a back-up plan and then make you feel bad because they slacked off.
When you choose an in-home daycare, you need to have a back-up plan in case that provider has to close due to illness or emergencies! We are not large centers who only close on Holidays. We have no staff and no employees. We are humans and we get sick as do our children. Just as any working person, there are days when we need to call in sick for ourselves or our kids.
Ughh. I have no patience for DCPS anymore.
When you choose an in-home daycare, you need to have a back-up plan in case that provider has to close due to illness or emergencies! We are not large centers who only close on Holidays. We have no staff and no employees. We are humans and we get sick as do our children. Just as any working person, there are days when we need to call in sick for ourselves or our kids.
Ughh. I have no patience for DCPS anymore.