Have any of you had a mom bf at your daycare home? I have a mom that wanted to nurse her kid here. I have limited space and she wanted to go in my bedroom. I let her (repeatedly). My husband was ticked off that I let her do it. Our house is small and really has no private space other than the bathroom. She is expecting child number two. I don't want this to come up again but know it will. What are your experiences?

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I don't know what others do and don't have that problem myself. But when my kids were in a home daycare I always nursed my baby at daycare. At drop off and pick up. She refused bottles all day and needed to be fed. But she had a space where I could do it. It wasn't private, but segregated from the other kids. Also, everyone in her care had been there a long time. We were like a very large family and not one of the parents minded if I was breastfeeding in the same room as long as I was discreet. But given that you don't have the room and your bedroom is the only place, I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with that either. There are certain places that need to be private/off limits. Is there any other place for her?

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Wow! How old is this child she is bf? If she is expecting #2 than I would think the older one would use a sippy or a bottle. I would possibly explain that it is difficult to do what she is asking and she should try to bring frozen or pumped breast milk for you to serve/feed the child. Where do you live? Can't she just hang outside on the porch or in her car?!?!? I am TOTALLY kidding about that! Wish I had some useful advice. It sounds like a tough call either way. I've had bf babies, but mom's always pumped and brought frozen or ready to eat milk for the babies. Good luck!
As far as using your bedroom, I would just say it is a habit you would rather not get into and leave it at that. You shouldn't have to explain not wanting to loan out your personal space.

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i have had bf babies and several moms feed here. normally at pickups when they all seem to want to 'hang out ' ...can be irritating but being an extended breastfeeding mother at one time, i understand. theres no where for the moms to go here but in the living room/daycare area. moms just drape with a blanket.
i have no issues w/it really ...but i wouldn't ever let a parent in my bedroom. maybe tell her she needs to drape w/a blanket or just wait

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I have had several mothers who breastfed their babies, but they did it at home before leaving in the am. I have never had anyone ask if they could stay here and do it. I probably would have to say no, I have children that need to use that bathroom, if she did it in there, I am not willing to give her my bedroom, for her nursing, and I am sure not going to have her do it on my couch, right by the front door, so everyone coming in could see her. I am sorry, but I would have to tell them no. If another mother knew you were allowing her to do this, she might ask you as well. Then she is having another baby, so she will be doing the same thing at that time. THis might be a great idea, tell her after the first of the yr. you cannot allow anyone to nurse here at daycare any longer. Tell her she needs to nurse at home, before arriving for the day. Tell her you really do not have the room, for her, and you need to use the bathroom, etc....

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Wow I see no problem with it at all, I could see not wanting her in your room, I have let a couple mothers go and rock in my room, I have a very large room, and everyone goes in there, so its no problem for me, i tell my parents of babies, that they are more than welsome to come during lunch if they are able to nurse their babies, nursing is a very close thing that only she can do, and if she can get in a nurse, so she doesn't have to pump I understand, and at the end of the day she might be so engorged and in pain, and in need of the relief, If I were a breastfeeding mother with a baby in daycare although I wouldnt make it a point to nurse at daycare, it would always be at home, but if I really needed to because I was in pain or the baby was very hungry when I got there, I would expect it to be a BF friendly environment, and I think if I was told that I couldnt because they were grossed out or something by it, I would look elsewhere for care.

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Id have her sit right on the couch in the living room if she wanted to do it there, or offer up a confy chair outside on a nice summer day . Or anywhere really,.. but,.. Im open about it and pro public nursing, (covered, Im not talking about letting things all hang out, lol) Ive nursed mine in the playroom in a room full of kids and noone usually knew,...

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Being an extended nursing mama myself (3 yo still nurses and I'm also expecting number 2 now ), I'm a bit torn on this one. How old is the kid in question?

If you're not a nursing mama yourself I guess I can see where this would look very strange to you and/or your DH and make you uncomfortable, especially if you don't have many spaces for the mom to do it in. We have a rocking chair in my DD's room and my bfing mamas have always been free to go in there and nurse their babes in the afternoon before they leave or nurse them in the rocker in the playroom. They never have, though. If the babe still nurses frequently throughout the day and night, then by the time mom gets off work she's probably pretty sore and really wanting and NEEDING to have some nursing before heading home.

At the same time, if you don't really have anywhere for her to do it, I can see asking her not to. That probably wouldn't offend me much if someone had asked me to do that.

And like laundryduchess, I'm very pro nursing, nursing in public, and I will most definitely be nursing my new peanut out in the open all the time. But lots of other parents are not that comfortable.

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I would explain to her that you cant keep lending out your bedroom and you understand decent private space is limited. Maybe this sounds nuts but I would offer put a small rocking chair (that could easily be moved when not in use) maybe in a hallway. It wouldnt take much to hang a curtain rod and curtain so she can pull it closed. People would know if the curtain is closed she's using the space. At the very least she knows you are trying to meet and respect her needs. If she doesnt like it.... oh well you tried.
Being an extended bf mom myself (dd hated bottles) I would use the space and be happy that you were providing me a private spot regardless if it was just a closed off hallway.
Good luck!

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I totally agree. There is no reason why the baby can't be fed at home before they leave. If there is a problem with baby not taking bottles well, maybe she should switch totally to bottles. It totally amazes me the expectations of some parents. I did have a mom once call and say she forgot her pump at work and of coarse I let her come in and sit....but it wasn't very often that it happened.

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The one mom I have that bf will once in a while bf the baby when she picks the kids up if the 3yo isn't ready to go. She just nurses discreetly while the kids play. I have no problem with it. I nursed all my kids in front of the daycare kids for 1-2 years each.

Now if she wanted to come in the middle of the day and nurse I wouldn't have liked that. I have never had anyone ask yet luckily. Not that I would mind the nursing part, just the interruption in the day would be too much for me to deal with.

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Would it be OK if she wanted to feed her a bottle right there on your couch where everyone coming in could see her?


I would NOT let her have my bedroom. But I'd absolutely let her nurse. I've bf. I've had a bf baby that refused a bottle and would wait all day to be nursed. I would "top her off" as I dropped off and never had anyone give me any issue and when I picked up occasionally I'd feed her before I left - but knowing that dc providers want to move on with their evening schedule I sometimes did it in the car in her driveway or rushed home since I didn't live far.

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I have fathers coming in and mothers who would be very offended. ALso have Grandparents once in a while drop off and pick up, who would be very offended by this!!

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I would personally have to tell them to get over it. If they are so closeminded and judgmental,.. they dont deserve me. I truly think the words would be,.. well Im sorry you feel that way but Mrs nurser is welcome to do so in my home, Is welcome to do so in my yard, and if anyone has an issue with it they can find care elsewhere. Shes not stripping on a pole, she is giving her child food that was intended for a human baby. She is naturally feeding her child. Thats what breasts were intended to do. She isnt exposing herself to the world in an exposition of flesh,... she is feeding her child in a way nature intended. Covered modestly,.. in good taste. Do you really have a problem with that? then the stare.... that quiet uncomfortable stare.

personally when I was nursing my 12 yr old, we had a friend who would get up and leave the room when I nursed in my own home. He couldnt believe I did that "right out in the open" In the same room as prople. I flat told him,... the only time you have a problem with breasts is when they are doing what nature intended? Get over yourself. He suggested I go to a bathroom,... I refused, saying that when he ate on the pot I would consider it and until then he could either lose his closemindedness or get the bleep out of my home. He refused to allow his wife to nurse saying it was disgusting and unnatural. (we are no longer friends) lol. Gee,.. dont really miss him. lol

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I didnt mean nursing my 12 yr old,..like I did it when she was 12. lol. this was 12 yrs ago. lol

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You weren't really breastfeeding a 12 yr. old were you? LOL!!!
I think even if the Mom was on the couch covered they would stillhave a problem with it. I have had friends, relatives, etc. come over and breastfeed here covered, and I do not have a problem with it at all. But as far as daycare, I think they would.

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LMAO....hahaha I love this. Too funny!

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You also rock! I only watch a max of two kids but breastfeeding is ALWAYS welcome here! I had one mom who used to pump in my living room every day before she left. I nursed my twins until 37 months.

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Why would fathers be offended? I thought they all loved "the girls"?!? Totally kidding, but men are such babies!

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I don't allow parents to care for their children under my roof. I don't allow bottle or breast feeding here done by parents. My staff assistant and I do all the care of all the kids all of the time they are in my home.

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Then you have some very closed minded families. Breasts are for food, not to be lusted after. People who view breastfeeding in a sexual light are the ones with a problem, not the nursing mom.

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I know this is an old thread but it seems like most people missed the original point....it isnt a debate about whether BFing is good or bad, or should be done in public or private....the original point was the OP asking if she should continue offering up her OWN bedroom for a breastfeeding mom. I dont think that is at all necessary nor would I recommend it. Providers that use their entire home, every bedroom and every bathroom, for daycare use generally burn out faster than those that maintain their boundaries and privacy. I would recommend that a provider NOT offer up their own bedroom for a nursing mom.

For me, all the families that I work with are within 10 minutes of my home. While I am pro BFing, there is no reason why they cannot nurse before they get here or nurse when they get home. Having a person sitting in your home or playroom can turn into a stressful situation, especially if they want to nurse outside of your business hours. I personally dont allow moms to come on their lunch breaks. That doesnt work for me at all and the disruption for my setup gets old fast.

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Wow, some of you are brave. I had breastfeeding both of my daughters when they were babies. I must to be in private like going to the restroom or nursing room to feeding my daughters. One time, I just joined group of moms with babies at the mall. One of woman just sat there next to me and decided to feeding him in public. Once I saw her then I was not very comfortable like this. I was embarrassed to see there were so many people looked at her. I also think it was disgusting. Later on, she noticed that I refused to look at her and she said to me, "it seems you are not comfortable and I think there is nothing wrong with it." I told her, "Good for you but not for me, I wouldn't do that in public since I like to be in private and I do not want anyone see my breasts which is disgusting." She tried to push me to tell me there is nothing wrong with it since it is nature and I dont care what she said but it is my decision.

If daycare mom wants to feeding her baby in my home then I will ask her to be in private in my bedroom or my daughters' room which is fine with me.

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you can breastfeed without exposing your breasts. i guess there are people who don't try to hide it, and that i don't understand.

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Tell me about it, one of my DCM's is like this. I also don't have a problem with DCM's BF in my home at pick-up as long as they are within their contracted hours. I am ont of those that doesn't mind BF in public as long as I have a blankie or cover over me, I mean I don't want to totally expose myself out in public KWIM? But DCM comes in, pulls the boobie out and nurses right on the couch. I've handed her receiving blankets and such because in my home you just never know when someone will come home and I live with my fiance and 2 of his brothers and they've walked in and there she was, BF with all her glory hanging out. After I started handing her the receiving blanket she got the picture, once she said it was too hot to cover him and I suggested that she BF him in her truck, it has tinted windows.

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Here is a question for everyone- Do large facilities/preschools allow breast feeding mothers at all hrs. of the day breastfeeding their children? I am just curious!! I think it would be interesting to find out if they allow this all day.

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Yes, they do. Some even provide a separate room.

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Still, I wouldn't do it in the public at all. I used receiving blanket over or over with my shirt all the time when I was in private in the restroom or nursing room in the mall or any stores. My husband always wait for me when I was done nursing to my daughters with no problems.

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I used KinderCare and they were fine with it and they are a large chain and at one point I used La Petite (another chain) and they too were fine with it.

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Oh, facing the corner is totally optional for the mom. I was offering that as an alternative in case the mom felt the sofa wasn't private enough. I also did it in public with a draped blanket but I never went to a restroom. I just think public restrooms are unsanitary and since I wouldn't eat in one, I don't want my babies to eat in one either

The daycare center that I took my children to was right across the street from where I worked at the time. I made sure to ask about nursing my baby on the premises before I signed the contract and they said no problem. They even put a rocking chair in a closet for me so that I could have some privacy.

Regardless of a center's true feelings about bf'ing, I think that most would allow it out of fear of legal action if they said no. They may try to discourage it but I doubt they would come right out and say no or have a written policy prohibiting it.

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I have only ever had one mom who came around lunch time to bf. She just sat in the family room in one of the recliners. I just went on with the day. I would never let them go into my bedroom. I would say that if she wants to do it she needs to sit somewhere else (not in your bedroom). As long as the baby takes a bottle for me I dont really mind they come to bf as long as it doesnt run into nap time!
Deb

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I've offered my guest room to a nursing mom who had a very colicky baby who would start screaming as soon as she saw mom at pick up time. When I was nursing, my daughter wanted to eat NOW, and would be miserable and create a huge amount of stress until we could get set up to nurse. I figured, it mom could sit down and nurse for a few minutes, then we could have a normal conversation afterwards about how her baby's day had gone.

That being said, as the mother of an older child, I'd rather pack them up and nurse at home. Older babies and toddlers who aren't relying on breastmilk for nutrition, more for comfort, could probably wait until they get home. I'd still offer a space to nurse for a mom who wanted to though. If you're not comfortable offering up your room and the mom wants privacy, she could go in the kitchen while you're with the kids in another part of the house? Doesn't matter to me if she wants to sit and nurse while we chat, I just know some nursing moms want the private spaces.

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