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  #1  
Old 01-23-2015, 02:45 PM
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Default Cold heart or give a second chance?

I recently had to let go of an employee. Don't want to get into why.

Well I hired a new person that has only worked 2 shifts so far. They are in the process of training.

Before I hired this new person, I made it very clear that the first 90days will be a probationary period and that we can let you go for any reason during this time. I said if I were to offer you the job is there anything that you would need to take care of before starting, if so, when could you start? I want you to be ready to rock and roll as soon as we hire you, so lets get anything else out of the way if possible. They said no, nothing, they could start right away.


I explained very well into detail that calling off or coming in late is not acceptable in this line of business because it could cause me to be over ratios or such. I do understand that things may happen and you will need to call off a shift, but it is expected that you give as much notice as possible and that if calling is frequent we will let you go.

I defined frequent as more than 1 time a quarter. I told this person, please think about this, please do not accept this job if you know you will not be able to accept the responsibility of being here on time every day and only calling in when you really need to. I also explained that I don't have other employees sitting by the phone waiting for me to call them to come in when someone calls off, it really puts me in a bad place. Well this person said they were up for the challenge and wanted to move forward.

THe employee can not work with the kids yet until the background clears, so they are currently filing, organizing, shadowing me with the kids and etc. Only on the schedule only 2 days this week. They worked Monday and was supposed to work today, but called off saying that their great grandparent passed away. They did give me a notice last night.


I guess I am having a cold heart. If you knew you had to work this friday and your grandparent was ill, why would you not tell me sooner that there was a chance you would not be able to come in? I am really really trying not to judge here, I don't really know what happened. I feel horrible that this happened to the new hire, but I just can't help to feel jaded about it.

only 3rd shift and they already called off. BOth my past and current employees have not called off in probably over 6 months to 1 year.

Do I give a second chance or let go? TO me this is a really shaky start with what should be the time the employee is making every effort to put their best foot forward.
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Old 01-23-2015, 02:53 PM
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i would give them another chance in hope that they were telling the truth. Maybe they feel horrible that this happened right when they started a new job? Maybe the death was totally unexpected? I would at least give them another week so you can get a better feel for them.
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Old 01-23-2015, 02:57 PM
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i would give them another chance in hope that they were telling the truth. Maybe they feel horrible that this happened right when they started a new job? Maybe the death was totally unexpected? I would at least give them another week so you can get a better feel for them.
do you think it would be unfair of me to say this.

I am very sorry for the loss of your loved one, however, as a business, we must always continue to strive for excellence in all that we do.

Our Employee policies state that you will be on probation for the first 90 days of your employment which during this time we will be monitoring your attendance and evaluating your performances.

Please do keep in mind that should you be absent again during this time, we will have no choice but to let you go.

too harsh?
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Old 01-23-2015, 03:06 PM
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do you think it would be unfair of me to say this.

I am very sorry for the loss of your loved one, however, as a business, we must always continue to strive for excellence in all that we do.

Our Employee policies state that you will be on probation for the first 90 days of your employment which during this time we will be monitoring your attendance and evaluating your performances.

Please do keep in mind that should you be absent again during this time, we will have no choice but to let you go.

too harsh?
Yes, I would just let it go. Deaths are one of those things totally out of our control. They are already hard to deal with. I understand that work and attendance are very important but how would you feel in their shoes? You just started a new job which is already nerve racking. You have to call out your first week because your loved family member died. You feel horrible for calling out. You are emotional. Then your boss guilt trips you because you missed work.

I would just let it go this time. If they call out again, then fire them or have a talk.
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Old 01-23-2015, 03:08 PM
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Yes, I would just let it go. Deaths are one of those things totally out of our control. They are already hard to deal with. I understand that work and attendance are very important but how would you feel in their shoes? You just started a new job which is already nerve racking. You have to call out your first week because your loved family member died. You feel horrible for calling out. You are emotional. Then your boss guilt trips you because you missed work.

I would just let it go this time. If they call out again, then fire them or have a talk.
I guess to me it all just sounds odd. the new hire text it to me instead of calling in, they contradicted themselves and it all just sounds weird. I guess I am just jaded....lol

thanks for your feed back.
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Old 01-23-2015, 03:20 PM
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I guess to me it all just sounds odd. the new hire text it to me instead of calling in, they contradicted themselves and it all just sounds weird. I guess I am just jaded....lol

thanks for your feed back.
Well my opinion is just from the facts you stated. I don't know if they sounded sincere or not... They could totally be lying but I don't know... They could also be telling the truth.
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Old 01-23-2015, 03:59 PM
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I agree with JB; I'd give them the benefit of the doubt. Life throws giant wrenches like this sometimes. If something else comes up though....

Texting instead of calling is something lots of younger people do. As far as the contradictions you noted, we have no clue. Maybe ask the new worker what she meant?
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Old 01-23-2015, 04:10 PM
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I guess to me it would depend on how I felt about their attitude and job performance to this point. It would also depend on whether she knew her grandma was ill or whether it was a sudden death. If she was ill and I was happy with the other aspects, I would probably address it as there needs to be more open communication so that you are aware that something could happen. If she wasn't ill, then there isn't much she could have done to let you know further in advance. I might also add a clause in my employee handbook that says deaths are excused as long as an obituary or death certificate is produced. This eliminates the "long lost relative" dying as an excuse for missing work.
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Old 01-23-2015, 04:10 PM
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see I am still torn.

I am the kind of person that will set the tone of the start.

think of it like this......

dcp you just enrolled says oh I didn't bring my check book, my Gpa just died and I have been a mess can I bring it tomorrow? Tomorrow comes and they don't bring it again. What are you going to do. Set the tone and be firm or just say nothing and ask can you bring it tomorrow?

it's not really setting a good foundation to start your relationship off on only day 3.

I discussed this with my lead teacher, she was pretty upset about it and said no way. She should have told you that her GP was sick and gave you a heads up, not tell you the night before. My Lead said, she was scheduled to work 2.5 hours, she really could not come in.....

I did not say much to the new hire. I just said sorry for your loss, please check your email for the new schedule next week.


My lead does not want to invest in anymore time training new hire. She said of course, it's your call, but I am not buying it and I think you should continue to interview for someone else.
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Old 01-23-2015, 04:16 PM
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If a new dcp said their relative died and asked to being the check the next day I would allow it. I would give them a second chance. Now if that check didn't show up the next day, I'm adding late charges and the child will not be accepted into care. I would give the parent one chance in this circumstance.
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Old 01-23-2015, 04:22 PM
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You could give her the benefit of the doubt this time. Otherwise known as giving her enough rope. If she faked this, she will quickly come up with something else.
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Old 01-23-2015, 05:21 PM
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so seeing that everyone said give the second chance, should I at least say this or say nothing

dear new hire

I am very sorry for the loss of your loved one, however, as a business, we must always continue to strive for excellence in all that we do.

Our Employee policies state that you will be on probation for the first 90 days of your employment which during this time we will be monitoring your attendance and evaluating your performances.

Please do keep in mind that should you be absent again during this time, we will have no choice but to let you go.

too harsh?
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Old 01-23-2015, 05:57 PM
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Did she know her grandparent was sick? If so, was it something that they were expected to pass from or was it unexpected? Did your new hire tell you what they passed from? I will say that if an employer asked me if there was anything I needed to take care of prior to starting a new position, the health of my family (mom, dad, grandparents, etc) would not cross my mind. Husband and/or child, yes.

I am torn on this. On one hand - go with your initial gut feeling. In my experience those are very hard to change.

On the other hand, I would give the new hire a second chance. Starting a new job is nerve wrecking and losing a family member is as well.

I do want to say though if I were in the employees shoes and my boss gave me the letter you posted above I would resign my position. Especially if she was not lying.
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Old 01-23-2015, 06:00 PM
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I think your note is fine. BUT I would put a stop to texting to call off. It's one of my pet peeves. This is a JOB and you are her boss, not her friend. A phone call would've been more appropriate. I also don't think you should've discussed any of this with your lead since it can cause a bad working environment for the new hire.

My last two cents, go with your gut. Something else is obviously bothering you about this person so send the note and see if there's anything else that isn't working out.
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Old 01-23-2015, 06:26 PM
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thanks ladies for the feedback.

My lead also has the ability to hire or fire people in my absence.

Thank you for being honest and letting me know that the letter is too harsh.

I am not a very emotional person at all. I don't know some times what is good to say or not. I have a good filter, normally I would just not say anything at all, which at this point I have not said anything other than I am very sorry for your loss.

I agree the text was not ok. I do require my employees to call in, I don't do business by phone in this manner.

I think I am going to just let it slide, but if it happens again, I may just let her go.

I have been spoiled with the employees that I have now and in the past. I have ever only had one issue and it was cell phones on the job, but that is about it.

All of my employees told me that once they fell in love with the school, job and the kids they loved working here and never wanted to hurt the business, so I know that will take time.
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Old 01-23-2015, 06:37 PM
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I do agree with the others, give her the benefit of the doubt. However, do not let her get away with texting instead of calling. Speak to her in person and let her know again that you do not accept texting for lateness/calling off/ANYTHING.


I would not, however, give her the letter. She already knows that she's on 90 days probation and the note only serves to let her know that either: you don't trust her story or you don't actually care about her grandmother's death.

Best of luck...having employees can be hard!
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Old 01-23-2015, 06:43 PM
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I do agree with the others, give her the benefit of the doubt. However, do not let her get away with texting instead of calling. Speak to her in person and let her know again that you do not accept texting for lateness/calling off/ANYTHING.


I would not, however, give her the letter. She already knows that she's on 90 days probation and the note only serves to let her know that either: you don't trust her story or you don't actually care about her grandmother's death.

Best of luck...having employees can be hard!
thanks ladies.... I am feeling pressure from my lead asst. She just doesnt believe the new hire's story. I am riding in the middle, perhaps could be true, perhaps not. Since I don't know the truth, I am gong to just say nothing about it, let them know about the text, that they need to call.

I have 3 other asst. they are all so wonderful, but it is very hard at times.

I know this sounds bad, but with the way young people are these days, it's really hard to find help that is not entitled to everything and actually works when they are here. I have not been through too many employees thank goodness, I try to make this a fun and inviting place to work. I love what I do and they can see that so we are all always having a good time together.

again thanks for the feed back. its hard to make a decision when someone else in per swaying your decision.
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Old 01-23-2015, 06:48 PM
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The text would not be an issue with my employer. In fact, I think she prefers them for both employees and parent communication, that way there is no misunderstanding it is all right there to be referred to if needed. The calling off on her third day could be a sign of things to come, or a one time occurrence time will tell!
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Old 01-23-2015, 07:26 PM
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The text would not be an issue with my employer. In fact, I think she prefers them for both employees and parent communication, that way there is no misunderstanding it is all right there to be referred to if needed. The calling off on her third day could be a sign of things to come, or a one time occurrence time will tell!
I don't mind a text for most things, but if you need to call off, you need to talk with me. Its in our employee policies!!
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Old 01-23-2015, 07:42 PM
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Another perspective about the texting:

When I am sick (which is not often but happened recently), I actually DO text my dcp's. I was honestly so pukey, talking was going to be a problem. Texting everyone at once was a relief! I don't know that I would have made it though multiple phone calls. Plus, I let them know at 5:30am. I was glad I didn't have to wake up the whole house by calling a ringing phone.

When I worked in a bank, however, it was not acceptable to text my boss.

So, as far as texting, it's whatever your policy is. I just see it's benefits.

Daycare, it should be pretty easy for you to find out if she was fibbing or her great-grandma really died. I'd base my decision on that. I'd look up the obits.
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Old 01-23-2015, 08:45 PM
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Another perspective about the texting:

When I am sick (which is not often but happened recently), I actually DO text my dcp's. I was honestly so pukey, talking was going to be a problem. Texting everyone at once was a relief! I don't know that I would have made it though multiple phone calls. Plus, I let them know at 5:30am. I was glad I didn't have to wake up the whole house by calling a ringing phone.

When I worked in a bank, however, it was not acceptable to text my boss.

So, as far as texting, it's whatever your policy is. I just see it's benefits.

Daycare, it should be pretty easy for you to find out if she was fibbing or her great-grandma really died. I'd base my decision on that. I'd look up the obits.
this is what my lead wanted me to do and I said that I don't want to start out a relationship this way. My lead said in addition to DOJ background, that I should do an internet search as well. Look at their FB and etc.

I just said that I wanted to wait it out at least one more week and see. I am not out a lot of money right now, so I am going to take the wait and see approach.

As for the texting, I get it when you have to contact several people, but they only needed to talk with me. I guess I am old school. I never really text much other than super simple things.
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Old 01-23-2015, 08:45 PM
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Another perspective about the texting:

When I am sick (which is not often but happened recently), I actually DO text my dcp's. I was honestly so pukey, talking was going to be a problem. Texting everyone at once was a relief! I don't know that I would have made it though multiple phone calls. Plus, I let them know at 5:30am. I was glad I didn't have to wake up the whole house by calling a ringing phone.

When I worked in a bank, however, it was not acceptable to text my boss.

So, as far as texting, it's whatever your policy is. I just see it's benefits.

Daycare, it should be pretty easy for you to find out if she was fibbing or her great-grandma really died. I'd base my decision on that. I'd look up the obits.
this is what my lead wanted me to do and I said that I don't want to start out a relationship this way. My lead said in addition to DOJ background, that I should do an internet search as well. Look at their FB and etc.

I just said that I wanted to wait it out at least one more week and see. I am not out a lot of money right now, so I am going to take the wait and see approach.

As for the texting, I get it when you have to contact several people, but they only needed to talk with me. I guess I am old school. I never really text much other than super simple things.
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Old 01-24-2015, 03:57 AM
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I don't mind a text for most things, but if you need to call off, you need to talk with me. Its in our employee policies!!
Hmm, did she read the policies? I have to admit it does all sound fishy. Still, I'd do as you mentioned, tell her you're sorry and remind her to call next time. And if you did check her story, who would have to know?

How old is this girl? I cringe to remember how bad my work ethics were back when I was 18-20ish. I worked just enough to pay my bills and call in sick the rest of the time. I hardly take time off now.
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Old 01-24-2015, 06:04 AM
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If the funeral isn't on a weekend, she may be missing another day of work. I completely understand your feeling here. I would be annoyed but understanding of her "situation", if it is true.
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Old 01-24-2015, 07:16 AM
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My husband's grandpa is 95 year old. He's in pretty good health, we actually have him over for a family dinner every week and go to church each Sunday. However, he could get sick and pass without us "knowing" that it was coming. He's actually just getting over pneumonia (the 2nd time he's had it in probably 6 months or so). I guess I would just take her word for it and move on- if she needs to call off again, though, be ready to sit down and discuss or even terminate at that time.
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Old 01-24-2015, 07:41 AM
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I would give the benefit of the doubt if you have otherwise good feelings about this employee. It sounds like maybe you don't???

I think its apples to oranges comparing to a parent not bringing payment. I don't see the relation at all. If a parent is face to face with me they can make their payment, if they do not they do not bring the child back until they do. Simple as that. Employee relationship is different, gpa died, she didn't come in. I would address the calling vs. texting if that is an issue for you but especially since she is not even working with the children yet I would give the benefit of the doubt. And I would not think to tell my employer I have an elderly grandparent - because you don't always know when they are going to die.
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Old 01-24-2015, 07:58 AM
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Does she get an bereavement leave? I would think if someone has a death in the family that is a valid reason to take off work. 3 days for immediate family. 1 day for any other. But in my organization we vale family.
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Old 01-24-2015, 07:59 AM
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One other thing....

IMO you really should not be talking personnel issues with another employee. You are the boss and business owner. It's not the other employees business as to why another employee called out and whether you approve of their reason or not. I think talking about one employee negatively to another employee is both gossiping and can create a rift among employees. Just my personal opinion from when I had employees in my program and from when I worked outside the home.
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Old 01-24-2015, 08:20 AM
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I have lost all 4 of my grandparents unexpectantly. Two were while I was doing daycare. Also, we had many close calls with my mil and if I put my life on hold and said I couldn't start a job because we might lose her, I'd have been out of work for years!

I totally understand the whole reliability issue and get why you have strict attendance policies, but life happens and sometimes things are unexpected. Personally I would never take issue with someone missing work if their loved one died. If they are a hard worker, show up on time and do what is expected then I would most definitely let it it slide. However, if there are red flags and they seem like a slacker, then this would be something I might want to research to see if they are actually being truthful or if they have bad work ethics.

Everyone has their own opinion on texting. Personally I like having documentation in writing, but if you want employes to call as stated in their hand book, then I'd address this and make sure she understands what's expected in the future.
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Old 01-24-2015, 10:03 AM
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One other thing....

IMO you really should not be talking personnel issues with another employee. You are the boss and business owner. It's not the other employees business as to why another employee called out and whether you approve of their reason or not. I think talking about one employee negatively to another employee is both gossiping and can create a rift among employees. Just my personal opinion from when I had employees in my program and from when I worked outside the home.


OP: I noticed in some of the previous posts you mentioned that your lead assistant is "pressuring you", "this is what my lead wanted me to do", "My lead has the right to hire and fire people in my absents", "my lead doesn't want...", and "my lead said...". I think it may be time you re-evaluate this employee's role before you try to analyze your new employee. It sounds like your lead maybe starting to cross the line a bit, like she/he's getting up in your head and knows how to manipulate you (which can happen if you have worked with them for a long time). I'm not sure what your relationship is outside of work (friends, family, etc.) but boundary crossing is an issue that can occur after getting comfortable. Is this person your business partner or your employee? Because if she is your employee, IMHO, I think you have given her too much power.

All your employees, seasoned and new, have a right to fair treatment and confidentiality between them and the employer (it shouldn't have to be a privilege that needs to be earned), would you be talking about your lead behind their back with the new employee or another employee? If your lead unexpectedly missed work because someone in her family died last minute and she didn't say "Oh, by the way, my otherwise healthy aunt has a mild cold and there's less than a 4% chance she might kick the bucket at any moment." would you give her the benefit of the doubt?

Employees also deserve the right to a hostile free work environment. Working with children can be hostile enough with out your boss and co-workers talking about you behind your back. Right now, it seems like your lead has already pitted an "us vs. them" mentality with your employees. I understand she is your lead, but if she is not your business partner there are some things that just aren't her business and shouldn't be her decision.

It doesn't matter if the death was 'expected' or not, because unless you are God or the Grim Reaper (or whatever you believe in) no one can accurately predict death. My grandmother had Alzheimer for over 10 years (after a stroke), the last 7 years my mom would say "I think this is going to be my mom's last Christmas" and doctors suggested hospices several times through out the years, because of how fast she was deteriorating. She was actually starting to slightly improve (gaining a little weight, some signs of mental clarity) before she died in her sleep last year.

Personally, yes, I would be a little irked at first that my new assistant had to miss work when I needed her; but I would trust that most people would not willingly jeopardize a new job without a good reason. If someone close to you in your family died (unexpectedly or not) you would most likely hope that others respect your feelings and understand you may need some time to grieve or be there for other family members.

At the end of the day everything is your decision, not your lead's and not us. After all, who's the boss: you or your lead assistant?


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Originally Posted by daycare View Post

I know this sounds bad, but with the way young people are these days, it's really hard to find help that is not entitled to everything and actually works when they are here. I have not been through too many employees thank goodness, I try to make this a fun and inviting place to work. I love what I do and they can see that so we are all always having a good time together.
and yes, honestly, that does sound bad/unfair to lump one group of people together and assume they are all alike (irresponsible and 'entitled to everything').

I am in the age group of what most people on here would call "young people" (under 25). I am currently nannying for two families (infant and a special needs tween) and on average work 7 days a week for $5/hr for both families. One of the families takes up my full weekend from 6:45 am until 9:30 at night on Saturdays and Sundays (a 2 hour break each day when grandparents take him to therapy or bowling) and I watch both on Monday (baby while the older boy is at school).

I did call in last Monday for the baby because the weather was affecting my asthma the last few days and didn't want to risk getting the baby sick, but it was also MLK day so the school ager was out of school and I had him all day (he was already getting over a cold so I was making sure I didn't catch anything and pass it to the baby). The baby isn't too much of a deal because that's more of a mother's helper thing (the mom is usually home and just needs someone to watch/play with him while she sleeps before her friend watches him in the afternoon while she works).

Even when I worked at a home daycare (late teens/earlier 20's) I was always reliable, often filled in for the providers own daughter (my roommate) who was older than me and knew she could get away with a lot more than other employees. She actually used to make inappropriate and even racist (that didn't apply to me) comments and jokes about me being a hard worker and willing to work for less than everyone else.

I have known young people who were very hard working and selfless and I have known older people who were very lazy and selfish (and, of course, vice versa). It's all based on the individual and their personal values, not yours or your assistants assumptions of what 'young people' are like these days.
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  #31  
Old 01-24-2015, 11:00 AM
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I would let it go personally. You never know when someone is going to die. Would you not accept a job "just in case" a family member were to pass? It happens. My mom just died sort of unexpectedly & I had to call off a whole week for the funeral & services out of town (I nanny). Did it inconvenience my family? Definitely but they were GRACIOUS & kind about it knowing it is my mom. I could have went back sooner but this was my mom & I would be no good to the kids in my care if I was crying the whole time. I would possibly require her to provide information (an obituary) as proof. At my husband's work he gets 3 days off for bereavement time for close family members but he has to provide the obit. Sorry she got off to a rocky start.
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  #32  
Old 01-24-2015, 11:02 AM
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I don't think texting is fishy! When both of my parents died (5 years apart) I texted parents. I would have burst into tears if I had to talk to several parents at a time explaining that my parent had passed. Calling someone, even if you only have to call one person, is always difficult when you are trying to do so without crying.
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  #33  
Old 01-24-2015, 11:03 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2many View Post
I have lost all 4 of my grandparents unexpectantly. Two were while I was doing daycare. Also, we had many close calls with my mil and if I put my life on hold and said I couldn't start a job because we might lose her, I'd have been out of work for years!


Everyone has their own opinion on texting. Personally I like having documentation in writing, but if you want employes to call as stated in their hand book, then I'd address this and make sure she understands what's expected in the future.
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  #34  
Old 01-24-2015, 12:06 PM
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Just get the obituary and (if travel is involved), a copy of a plane ticket, hotel or copies of the out of town gas and restaurant receipts "for record keeping purposes" for the employee's file. If her great grandmother did pass away, then it would be awful not to allow her to attend, especially when she is not working with kids and just shadowing. If it is made up and she cannot produce any documentation, let her go. The last person you want working with children is someone that you do not trust.
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  #35  
Old 01-24-2015, 05:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Starburst View Post


OP: I noticed in some of the previous posts you mentioned that your lead assistant is "pressuring you", "this is what my lead wanted me to do", "My lead has the right to hire and fire people in my absents", "my lead doesn't want...", and "my lead said...". I think it may be time you re-evaluate this employee's role before you try to analyze your new employee. It sounds like your lead maybe starting to cross the line a bit, like she/he's getting up in your head and knows how to manipulate you (which can happen if you have worked with them for a long time). I'm not sure what your relationship is outside of work (friends, family, etc.) but boundary crossing is an issue that can occur after getting comfortable. Is this person your business partner or your employee? Because if she is your employee, IMHO, I think you have given her too much power.

All your employees, seasoned and new, have a right to fair treatment and confidentiality between them and the employer (it shouldn't have to be a privilege that needs to be earned), would you be talking about your lead behind their back with the new employee or another employee? If your lead unexpectedly missed work because someone in her family died last minute and she didn't say "Oh, by the way, my otherwise healthy aunt has a mild cold and there's less than a 4% chance she might kick the bucket at any moment." would you give her the benefit of the doubt?

Employees also deserve the right to a hostile free work environment. Working with children can be hostile enough with out your boss and co-workers talking about you behind your back. Right now, it seems like your lead has already pitted an "us vs. them" mentality with your employees. I understand she is your lead, but if she is not your business partner there are some things that just aren't her business and shouldn't be her decision.

It doesn't matter if the death was 'expected' or not, because unless you are God or the Grim Reaper (or whatever you believe in) no one can accurately predict death. My grandmother had Alzheimer for over 10 years (after a stroke), the last 7 years my mom would say "I think this is going to be my mom's last Christmas" and doctors suggested hospices several times through out the years, because of how fast she was deteriorating. She was actually starting to slightly improve (gaining a little weight, some signs of mental clarity) before she died in her sleep last year.

Personally, yes, I would be a little irked at first that my new assistant had to miss work when I needed her; but I would trust that most people would not willingly jeopardize a new job without a good reason. If someone close to you in your family died (unexpectedly or not) you would most likely hope that others respect your feelings and understand you may need some time to grieve or be there for other family members.

At the end of the day everything is your decision, not your lead's and not us. After all, who's the boss: you or your lead assistant?




and yes, honestly, that does sound bad/unfair to lump one group of people together and assume they are all alike (irresponsible and 'entitled to everything').

I am in the age group of what most people on here would call "young people" (under 25). I am currently nannying for two families (infant and a special needs tween) and on average work 7 days a week for $5/hr for both families. One of the families takes up my full weekend from 6:45 am until 9:30 at night on Saturdays and Sundays (a 2 hour break each day when grandparents take him to therapy or bowling) and I watch both on Monday (baby while the older boy is at school).

I did call in last Monday for the baby because the weather was affecting my asthma the last few days and didn't want to risk getting the baby sick, but it was also MLK day so the school ager was out of school and I had him all day (he was already getting over a cold so I was making sure I didn't catch anything and pass it to the baby). The baby isn't too much of a deal because that's more of a mother's helper thing (the mom is usually home and just needs someone to watch/play with him while she sleeps before her friend watches him in the afternoon while she works).

Even when I worked at a home daycare (late teens/earlier 20's) I was always reliable, often filled in for the providers own daughter (my roommate) who was older than me and knew she could get away with a lot more than other employees. She actually used to make inappropriate and even racist (that didn't apply to me) comments and jokes about me being a hard worker and willing to work for less than everyone else.

I have known young people who were very hard working and selfless and I have known older people who were very lazy and selfish (and, of course, vice versa). It's all based on the individual and their personal values, not yours or your assistants assumptions of what 'young people' are like these days.
We can agree to disagree. You are way off base about how I work with my employees.
My lead is also responsible for evaluating and managing the rest of my staff. Pretty much I'm the owner she's the director. I don't discuss my wmployees with anyone but her. At the end of the day she may spend more time with them than I do.

She is amazing and has never crossed any lines.

Just as I had a gut feeling so did she. My lead was supposed to work with her that morning and of course asked why she was not there.

I already found out today that she was out at a college party. So my guy was right. Looks like I should continue to listen to my gut.

If my opinion offended you that it's hard to find young person that is not entitled. I live in a very wealthy area where that statement is not just a matter of opinion it's a fact. Im not saying all young people are entitled, but in my opinion it's hard to find some they are not.

So it looks like I will be writing a letter of termination to provide first thing Monday morning. Sucks for me. But it is what it is.

Also my point about comparing it to a parent thT forgets to pay is that it starts off a rocky foundation for that family. I was also saying that when a parent forgets to pay of you don't set the tone from the start that it's not going to be tolerated you will get taken advantage of.

Again thank you all for your input. Looks like I'm back to the drawing board.
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  #36  
Old 01-24-2015, 07:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daycare View Post
We can agree to disagree. You are way off base about how I work with my employees.
My lead is also responsible for evaluating and managing the rest of my staff. Pretty much I'm the owner she's the director. I don't discuss my wmployees with anyone but her. At the end of the day she may spend more time with them than I do.

She is amazing and has never crossed any lines.

Just as I had a gut feeling so did she. My lead was supposed to work with her that morning and of course asked why she was not there.

I already found out today that she was out at a college party. So my guy was right. Looks like I should continue to listen to my gut.

If my opinion offended you that it's hard to find young person that is not entitled. I live in a very wealthy area where that statement is not just a matter of opinion it's a fact. Im not saying all young people are entitled, but in my opinion it's hard to find some they are not.

So it looks like I will be writing a letter of termination to provide first thing Monday morning. Sucks for me. But it is what it is.

Also my point about comparing it to a parent thT forgets to pay is that it starts off a rocky foundation for that family. I was also saying that when a parent forgets to pay of you don't set the tone from the start that it's not going to be tolerated you will get taken advantage of.

Again thank you all for your input. Looks like I'm back to the drawing board.
Bummer that she wasn't trustworthy! Gut feelings are always best... I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes it backfires.
I really hope you are able to find someone who is trustworthy and a hard worker!
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  #37  
Old 01-24-2015, 10:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by starburst View Post


op: I noticed in some of the previous posts you mentioned that your lead assistant is "pressuring you", "this is what my lead wanted me to do", "my lead has the right to hire and fire people in my absents", "my lead doesn't want...", and "my lead said...". I think it may be time you re-evaluate this employee's role before you try to analyze your new employee. It sounds like your lead maybe starting to cross the line a bit, like she/he's getting up in your head and knows how to manipulate you (which can happen if you have worked with them for a long time). I'm not sure what your relationship is outside of work (friends, family, etc.) but boundary crossing is an issue that can occur after getting comfortable. Is this person your business partner or your employee? Because if she is your employee, imho, i think you have given her too much power.

All your employees, seasoned and new, have a right to fair treatment and confidentiality between them and the employer (it shouldn't have to be a privilege that needs to be earned), would you be talking about your lead behind their back with the new employee or another employee? If your lead unexpectedly missed work because someone in her family died last minute and she didn't say "oh, by the way, my otherwise healthy aunt has a mild cold and there's less than a 4% chance she might kick the bucket at any moment." would you give her the benefit of the doubt?

Employees also deserve the right to a hostile free work environment. Working with children can be hostile enough with out your boss and co-workers talking about you behind your back. Right now, it seems like your lead has already pitted an "us vs. Them" mentality with your employees. I understand she is your lead, but if she is not your business partner there are some things that just aren't her business and shouldn't be her decision.

It doesn't matter if the death was 'expected' or not, because unless you are god or the grim reaper (or whatever you believe in) no one can accurately predict death. My grandmother had alzheimer for over 10 years (after a stroke), the last 7 years my mom would say "i think this is going to be my mom's last christmas" and doctors suggested hospices several times through out the years, because of how fast she was deteriorating. She was actually starting to slightly improve (gaining a little weight, some signs of mental clarity) before she died in her sleep last year.

Personally, yes, i would be a little irked at first that my new assistant had to miss work when i needed her; but i would trust that most people would not willingly jeopardize a new job without a good reason. If someone close to you in your family died (unexpectedly or not) you would most likely hope that others respect your feelings and understand you may need some time to grieve or be there for other family members.

At the end of the day everything is your decision, not your lead's and not us. After all, who's the boss: You or your lead assistant?




And yes, honestly, that does sound bad/unfair to lump one group of people together and assume they are all alike (irresponsible and 'entitled to everything').

I am in the age group of what most people on here would call "young people" (under 25). I am currently nannying for two families (infant and a special needs tween) and on average work 7 days a week for $5/hr for both families. One of the families takes up my full weekend from 6:45 am until 9:30 at night on saturdays and sundays (a 2 hour break each day when grandparents take him to therapy or bowling) and i watch both on monday (baby while the older boy is at school).

I did call in last monday for the baby because the weather was affecting my asthma the last few days and didn't want to risk getting the baby sick, but it was also mlk day so the school ager was out of school and i had him all day (he was already getting over a cold so i was making sure i didn't catch anything and pass it to the baby). The baby isn't too much of a deal because that's more of a mother's helper thing (the mom is usually home and just needs someone to watch/play with him while she sleeps before her friend watches him in the afternoon while she works).

Even when i worked at a home daycare (late teens/earlier 20's) i was always reliable, often filled in for the providers own daughter (my roommate) who was older than me and knew she could get away with a lot more than other employees. She actually used to make inappropriate and even racist (that didn't apply to me) comments and jokes about me being a hard worker and willing to work for less than everyone else.

I have known young people who were very hard working and selfless and i have known older people who were very lazy and selfish (and, of course, vice versa). It's all based on the individual and their personal values, not yours or your assistants assumptions of what 'young people' are like these days.
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  #38  
Old 01-25-2015, 03:45 AM
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Aw daycare, I'm sorry. Hopefully you'll get a gem this next time.

No, not every young person is an entitled one and we all know that but sometimes we base our feelings, opinions, assumptions, on our own personal experiences. And sometimes our feelings are justified, sometimes not. I'll bet if you look around inside each and every single one of us, you'll find we all judge something or someone, even just a little bit. And as Daycare even told us, she's jaded. Maybe she'd been burnt with employees before? It's kind of like being jilted by a boyfriend, it's even harder to trust the next one.
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