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  #1  
Old 12-29-2010, 12:00 PM
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Default So Mad!!!

I decided to take the children sledding today. It took a lot of freakin work to get 7 children ready to go sledding.

So we get there and we are sledding for only a half hour when this girl (who has her own sled) walks over to her brother. I couldn't hear what was going on but I can recognize when she is starting trouble.

So before I could get there she steps on her brothers foot, grabs the sled, and attempts to push him. She then took the sled and smacked him with the sled in the face

The boys nose started to bleed. I made her sit while everyone else sled. After 15 minutes his nose would not stop so we all had to leave. I wanted to get him out of the cold to make sure she didn't break it or anything because it just kept bleeding. She is in 2nd grade. Way too old for that behavior. I tried to talk to her about y she did it and it just infuriated me even more Her reason for smacking him with the sled..... "I tried to ask nicely first but he said no." Then she started crying and saying it's not fair that she always gets in trouble.

Last edited by Michael; 12-29-2010 at 05:09 PM.
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  #2  
Old 12-29-2010, 12:10 PM
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Wow, just wow. Do I see an afternoon of sitting separately until pickup?
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  #3  
Old 12-29-2010, 12:17 PM
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I don't think it was the boys fault at all so the girl is the only one being punished. God Forbid she did this to another daycare child. I could be in for some serious accusations!! She is to be in my sight all day until it's time to leave. If I'm cleaning she will be sitting where ever I am. If I go to the bathroom I make her sit at the kitchen table. That just seems like very violent behavior for a 2nd grade girl.
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  #4  
Old 12-29-2010, 12:20 PM
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Oh, that's what I meant - the girl separated from the rest of the group. Unfortunately, siblings sometimes hurt each other more than they would ever think to hurt anyone else. But it still does seem pretty violent for a girl that age.
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  #5  
Old 12-29-2010, 12:26 PM
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How old is the brother?
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  #6  
Old 12-29-2010, 02:05 PM
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The brother is only 5 years old!

I do know that siblings tend to fight more. This just seems very violent.

We will call the violent girl x and another girl y. Later in the day, x asked a little girl, y if she could play with her barbie. Y said when she was done she would share it in a little bit. X took off her sock and threw it in y's face.

So mom comes and she acts like it's no big deal. Just rolls her eyes and says nothing. She acted like she was being bothered that I am expecting her to deal with HER children.

I don't know. Ugh. Right now this money seriously means the difference in my family eating and my family not eating. I have placed an ad for child care but this is a bad time to fill a spot.
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  #7  
Old 12-29-2010, 02:25 PM
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Wow...sorry. Sounds like a "no-parenting" parent. I see a nightmare in the making. I think I still have the T-shirt somewhere

Sending good vibes for a phone call from a "Golden" family FAST!!!
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  #8  
Old 12-29-2010, 04:40 PM
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Eeeek. Scary. That is pretty scary behavior for a child of that age. Good luck. Parents who aren't PARENTS make our jobs soooooooooo much harder! Hang in there!
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  #9  
Old 12-29-2010, 06:36 PM
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Well its your daycare. If its one thing Ive learned over the years of doing childcare, dont let the parents run your business for you. I have the kids I have because I have to have them. My husband got laid off in September and has been trying to find work ever since. Its tough out there. My income is our ONLY income. So I understand what you're saying, totally.

BUT -

If it were me, I would have a talk with the parent(s). Tell them what the behavior is and that it needs to be corrected asap. Regardless of what the parents policies are at home, you have to take care of other people's children and that effects you and how you run your daycare. You cant have a child bullying the other children. Period. There's no reason you cant have a discussion over the phone or in person with this parent. Call them in the evening one day after dinner when you can get her undivided attention. Tell her how you feel and what you suggest should happen with this child as far as punishment in care and at home. You have to work together. Thats really what this is all about. It takes a village to raise a child.

If they wont cooperate and the behavior continues, advertise to find another child and when you get the contract on another one, terminate this child with notice.
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  #10  
Old 12-30-2010, 03:51 AM
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Ya, this mom just has no interest in controlling her children. I asked her to call me later in the evening so we can talk when the children aren't around. Her daughter is always up an adults butt and trying to listen to adult conversation. I didn't think it appropriate to discuss my concerns in front of her.

Well she never called and when I called her she didn't answer.

I have begun to advertise to fill the spot but things are tough for everyone right now. It's a bad time of year to fill a spot
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  #11  
Old 12-30-2010, 04:14 AM
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If it were me and that kind of injury happened I would have called the parent to come and pick up the kids. To me its different than say talking back or not listening. That is pretty violent behavior for her being 4. I haven't had something like that happen but I did have a child bite here hard enough to break skin I called the mom and told her to come get her child. Once I made it inconvient for mom she starting taking the problem a bit more serious.

As far as her not answering her phone that is just rude and I hate when parents do that. They avoid you and it just ticks me off. I completely understand needing the money things are tough right now even though the so called experts say the economy is getting better.

I hope that you can get the mom to talk to you at drop off and that someone will call on your ad.

By the way you are a braver women than I am taking all those kids sledding
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  #12  
Old 12-30-2010, 04:16 AM
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Oops she's not 4 lol sorry. I must have pulled that age out of my you know. Lol. Second grade so around age 7 makes it even worst.
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  #13  
Old 12-30-2010, 05:44 AM
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Wow. She seems to believe that violence is the answer to solve her problems. I think you did the right thing in keeping her by your side for the rest of the day. One more violent outburst (even just throwing her sock), and I might say she has to stay by your side for an entire day, and then another incident & it would be for two whole days, and so forth. She has to understand that a) she doesn't always get whatever she wants whenever she wants it & b) she needs to use her words to solve problems, not violence. Sounds like her parents haven't taught her that yet. If this problem continues, I would tell her mom that she must meet with you after hours without her daughter to discuss the game plan on how to correct her violent behavior.

Do you know someone who is a police officer?? If you do, perhaps you could ask this person to come and talk to all of the kids (maybe part of a safety week), but then specifically pull this girl aside to have a chat with the police officer. Have him or her tell her if she doesn't find a way to solve her problems without violence, she will eventually end up being handcuffed and go to jail.
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  #14  
Old 12-30-2010, 06:49 AM
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I don't know a police officer but I wonder if I called the police department if they offered a session on bullying??

Great idea thanks!
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  #15  
Old 12-30-2010, 08:08 AM
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You could try to call the police department to see if they offer sessions for daycares, or you might ask if there is an officer who regularly patrols your neighborhood that would be willing to stop by. Doesn't ever hurt to try!!
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  #16  
Old 12-30-2010, 08:33 AM
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I really like the police officer idea. She's old enough to be getting the "harsh reality" of things.
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  #17  
Old 12-30-2010, 08:45 AM
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I called and apparently there is a "community officer" who is able to teach anything lol! I am waiting for her to call me back but I plan on scheduling this ASAP!!

Thanks again for the great idea!
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  #18  
Old 01-01-2011, 07:00 AM
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Default Ugg, been there!

I got rid of an older sister who was too violent for my childcare. Because of this one girl, I now no longer take schoolaged kids past kindergarten. Good luck with that one By the way, my daycare parents DID understand. The girl is now in counseling and supposedly has ADHD (or, as I like to call it "My parents are divorcing and have been fighting for years now and I'm acting out and need a more calm and stable environment" syndrome).
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