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Old 04-26-2019, 12:40 PM
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Default Parents Anxious for Their Babies to Be Big Kids

Not really a complaint, just an observation I've had with my last few baby families and curious if you've seen the same or if this is typical or a newer phenomenon since I've only been in business for 5 years.

With my newest 3 families, I have had the babies since 2 months old. I've noticed that they really jump the gun on growing their kids up. Some examples: increasing the amount of formula or food they think their baby needs when baby has not shown extra signs of hunger here. Upping the diaper size before they've outgrown the smaller size (I have a 1 yr old the size of a 6 month old in size 5 diapers). Upping the nipple sizes on bottles and baby is literally choking down formula. Sending the child in clothes that are too big for their size. Proclaiming that they are *so close* to reaching a milestone when that milestone is a long ways a way - oh baby is 2 months old and teething! Oh baby is so close to walking! when they are only 6 months old and can't even sit up yet. I could go on and on.

Again,not complaining just curious if you experience these same things or if it's just a fluke with my current families and maybe if you have insight on why they do this and if you say anything to kind of slow them down. My poor babies are drowning in formula and too big diapers and too big clothes
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Old 04-26-2019, 12:52 PM
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My experience is quite the opposite.
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Old 04-26-2019, 12:59 PM
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ITA with Cat Herder.

My families are more likely to baby their big kids, except when it comes to academics. Somehow they're expected to know their ABCs, 123s, colors, shapes, etc, but aren't able to walk in or take off coats & shoes independently.
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Old 04-26-2019, 01:13 PM
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Originally Posted by AmyKidsCo View Post
ITA with Cat Herder.

My families are more likely to baby their big kids, except when it comes to academics. Somehow they're expected to know their ABCs, 123s, colors, shapes, etc, but aren't able to walk in or take off coats & shoes independently.
I have had families like this too. I guess we can't win. Either one extreme or the other! I don't think I've had one family straight down the middle yet. I'm not even judging, it's just so interesting to see parents act the way they do sometimes.
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Old 04-26-2019, 01:37 PM
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I think for mine it is more about finances.

Buy the smaller diapers, you get more in the pack. Put one less scoop of formula powder in the bottle, use smaller nipples and it goes further and takes longer (less crying). Wear clothes/shoes until they are too small to get on or have too many holes in them.

They don't always consider the extra diaper rashes from rubbing and reduced airflow. The malnutrition/educational disability from not enough formula/iron. The irritation and slowed motor development of too small shoes.
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Old 04-26-2019, 01:50 PM
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I echo CH and also see the opposite with all except the milestones. Not one of my daycare moms but my childhood best friend (now acquaintance) thought her baby rolled over on its first day of life, thought she was teething at 3 weeks, posted that she was “so close to crawling” at about 4 months. Child is now 6 months, and toothless and doesn’t crawl and around 3 months of age posted that she was “so close to rolling over” and posted a 10 minute video of her trying and I really wanted to comment “oh I thought she rolled over the day she was born”. She also had her “sitting up” in the shopping cart at about 8 weeks. If I didn’t see that with my own two eyes I would not have believed it. She said she “likes to sit like a big girl” and all I saw was a baby in pain.

As for daycare I typically have to ask for the next size nipple and I’ve only had to tell one mom it was time to size up in diapers bc child was leaking a ton and she was honestly just pretty clueless about babies before having one.
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Old 04-26-2019, 01:55 PM
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My experience is 50-50 both ways.

Some want their kids to be older NOW
Some want their kids to be babies FOREVER

I haven't really noticed any correlation as to what type of parent/family wants either or but it definitely seems to be one extreme or the other and rarely anything in between.

Balance (in almost all areas of life) is something I think most people lack now days.
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Old 04-26-2019, 03:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
My experience is 50-50 both ways.

Some want their kids to be older NOW
Some want their kids to be babies FOREVER

I haven't really noticed any correlation as to what type of parent/family wants either or but it definitely seems to be one extreme or the other and rarely anything in between.

Balance (in almost all areas of life) is something I think most people lack now days.
Have you noticed if there was a correlation with birth order? I have one child, 3rd child, completely unplanned, two older siblings were both school age when she got pregnant. Mom babies this child so much and just laughs it off saying “I know all these issues are completely on me”.. “I never allowed this with the first two” etc. She carries him into the house every day, never puts shoes on him just carries them along. He’ll come in carrying 2-3 nuks every day when I’ve had him off them here completely for over a year. Mom herself admits laziness and she’s so disorganized but I feel like she wasn’t always this way but I was also not her care provider when the older two were younger but I did know them.

Another family that I casually care for same situation except older kids were even older than the first family. That child is thee most babied child I’ve EVER met.
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Old 04-26-2019, 03:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by storybookending View Post
Have you noticed if there was a correlation with birth order? I have one child, 3rd child, completely unplanned, two older siblings were both school age when she got pregnant. Mom babies this child so much and just laughs it off saying “I know all these issues are completely on me”.. “I never allowed this with the first two” etc. She carries him into the house every day, never puts shoes on him just carries them along. He’ll come in carrying 2-3 nuks every day when I’ve had him off them here completely for over a year. Mom herself admits laziness and she’s so disorganized but I feel like she wasn’t always this way but I was also not her care provider when the older two were younger but I did know them.

Another family that I casually care for same situation except older kids were even older than the first family. That child is thee most babied child I’ve EVER met.
My families are like that of Blackcats, it's 50/50. Right now, I have 1 family that wants baby to be way ahead, thinks baby is ahead ect. My other dcm wants 2.5 year old to be a baby forever. I have had and seen it all....for now😉
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Old 04-26-2019, 04:45 PM
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It's a competition.
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Old 04-27-2019, 03:37 AM
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In my experience, a lot of parents don't want their children to outgrow their babyhood. I haven't seen lots of the other things mentioned in the OP, unless there was a real need. One place I have noticed it is with potty training. Some parents are happy to wait until their child is more on the side of 3 yo and gets it, then pretty much accomplishes it in a weekend, whereas other parents train for a year or much more then finish at about the same age.

And I do think parents change their ways of doing things as each child arrives in the family. How many, with multiple children, made a nice elaborate baby book or took tons of pictures, with their first but then less with their 2nd, and very few with their 3rd and more?? A bigger family means less time, less energy, less fight. And we learn along the way too, we change our parenting styles. At least I did. My kids never let me forget it either. Especially from their teen years. 'Why did you let L do that but you never let me do it?'
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Old 04-27-2019, 07:06 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AmyKidsCo View Post
ITA with Cat Herder.

My families are more likely to baby their big kids, except when it comes to academics. Somehow they're expected to know their ABCs, 123s, colors, shapes, etc, but aren't able to walk in or take off coats & shoes independently.
Same here. I once had a 4 year old who knew his entire ABCs, could count up to 20, knew his shapes, colors, print his name but needed help to put on his coat, shoes, wipe himself after using the bathroom, make his cot, or blow his nose.
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Old 04-27-2019, 08:47 PM
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Originally Posted by jenboo View Post
It's a competition.
Yes, some times it is peer pressure. I remember a time with my DD, and someone asked if she was doing some milestone that she was no were near old enough for. They made me feel bad about her skills. I was so greatful for the asq to snap me out of it.
Now I just correct the person with well that milestone is in the x month range and he is only x months old so he has plenty of time.
I even corrected a grandma that was calling her grandchild big and gave her math lesson on baby weight and formula consumption. The next time I saw her she commented that he was growing perfectly.

As for diapers, I was on another forum and there was someone asking what size diapers for a baby that was similar size, height and weight as my son (I would guess it was when my son was 7 months). As I was reading the comments most mom's were suggesting size 5. I found a diaper size chart for the major brands and commented that my son was close to there child size and age, that my son wears 3 and 3 or 4 was what was recommended by the companies. I mentioned that I change diapers for a living and have never put a five or larger on a child under a year.
Mom's continued recommend the larger size and some recommend pull ups. (Because they were easier to get on her baby) There one that used three different sizes for different times of the day.
After all the comments, op choose size 5. 😑
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Old 04-29-2019, 06:45 AM
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Originally Posted by CeridwenLynne View Post
Same here. I once had a 4 year old who knew his entire ABCs, could count up to 20, knew his shapes, colors, print his name but needed help to put on his coat, shoes, wipe himself after using the bathroom, make his cot, or blow his nose.
I have this same child. My DCK is 5 yrs

Mom teaches child a new vocabulary word every day.
Child is very book smart but has zero clue in regards to independence and self-help skills.
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Old 04-29-2019, 07:06 AM
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It's a case of 'keeping up with the Joneses".
These types of parents either have friends or family who have kids in a similar age category and they feel the need to have their kids demonstrate smarter, faster and better than theirs.

You'll hear the word "gifted" quite often with these families.
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Old 04-30-2019, 07:33 AM
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It really depends on the parent! I have two kids that are 5 months apart, both 2 years old. One child talks in complete sentences, has amazing receptive language can completely dress herself, uses utensils, cups etc. The other kids has about 20 single words and cannot do anything else. One parent sees their child as capable and smart, other parent sees their kid as a “cwute wittle baby”.
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Old 04-30-2019, 09:23 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice View Post
Not really a complaint, just an observation I've had with my last few baby families and curious if you've seen the same or if this is typical or a newer phenomenon since I've only been in business for 5 years.

With my newest 3 families, I have had the babies since 2 months old. I've noticed that they really jump the gun on growing their kids up. Some examples: increasing the amount of formula or food they think their baby needs when baby has not shown extra signs of hunger here. Upping the diaper size before they've outgrown the smaller size (I have a 1 yr old the size of a 6 month old in size 5 diapers). Upping the nipple sizes on bottles and baby is literally choking down formula. Sending the child in clothes that are too big for their size. Proclaiming that they are *so close* to reaching a milestone when that milestone is a long ways a way - oh baby is 2 months old and teething! Oh baby is so close to walking! when they are only 6 months old and can't even sit up yet. I could go on and on.

Again,not complaining just curious if you experience these same things or if it's just a fluke with my current families and maybe if you have insight on why they do this and if you say anything to kind of slow them down. My poor babies are drowning in formula and too big diapers and too big clothes
So far I have only had parents that were ok with where their child was. They didn't push them to do more than they were capable of or baby them either. The one I have now is 2 and he is babied some. She always takes his coat and shoes off for him, etc. I tend to tell him to do it himself and make him at least try. He is an only child.
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