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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Starting to Think I Made a Mistake...
Kabob 09:31 AM 02-05-2014
So....I termed 2 children due to dcm not following policies.
But I have yet to find anyone to fill the slots.
Mostly, it seems to be because I'm pregnant (due in June). I've had interviews the last couple of days and each time I get to the part where I explain my pregnancy and the plan (assistant will be here towards the end if needed and then I will close for 2 weeks unpaid and then reopen again), the parents bail.
Last night was exceptionally disappointing as the mom walked in and the first thing she said to me was that her sister-in-law interviewed with me last night and so she already "got a heads up" on Facebook regarding my pregnancy and told me that she was warned that I "probably wouldn't be a good choice" due to my pregnancy possibly causing her to unexpectedly miss work.
Well, yeah, I could go into labor early and me closing for 2 weeks after that is not fun...but I don't know how else to placate families like her...
I still went through the interview and explained my pregnancy plan but she just sat there in silence and took 20 minutes to leave when I tried to end the interview (as in I told her I would be in touch, blah blah blah, we need to get my son to bed, and then she just sat there...not talking or moving while her son played...). I wonder why she even bothered coming if she and her sister-in-law were so worried about my pregnancy.
I don't try to hide it, as I don't want parents to enroll and then become upset about having to have backup care ready around June.
I could fill one spot with any number of parents desperate to find a place to send their young infant since those spaces are extremely rare around here...but I really really really don't want to take on an infant right now. It is extremely stressful right now (my experience has never been good with that age group...) and just the sound of an infant crying for some reason causes me a lot of stress (it didn't use to but now I get to the point where I want to cry if I hear a baby crying). I feel selfish and pathetic for denying infants based on that right now though...I'm normally not so emotional.
If I don't find someone soon...it won't be good...dh is saying maybe I should call up dcm I termed and give her a second chance...urgh...
Ok, done venting now...
But I have yet to find anyone to fill the slots.
Mostly, it seems to be because I'm pregnant (due in June). I've had interviews the last couple of days and each time I get to the part where I explain my pregnancy and the plan (assistant will be here towards the end if needed and then I will close for 2 weeks unpaid and then reopen again), the parents bail.
Last night was exceptionally disappointing as the mom walked in and the first thing she said to me was that her sister-in-law interviewed with me last night and so she already "got a heads up" on Facebook regarding my pregnancy and told me that she was warned that I "probably wouldn't be a good choice" due to my pregnancy possibly causing her to unexpectedly miss work.
Well, yeah, I could go into labor early and me closing for 2 weeks after that is not fun...but I don't know how else to placate families like her...
I still went through the interview and explained my pregnancy plan but she just sat there in silence and took 20 minutes to leave when I tried to end the interview (as in I told her I would be in touch, blah blah blah, we need to get my son to bed, and then she just sat there...not talking or moving while her son played...). I wonder why she even bothered coming if she and her sister-in-law were so worried about my pregnancy.
I don't try to hide it, as I don't want parents to enroll and then become upset about having to have backup care ready around June.
I could fill one spot with any number of parents desperate to find a place to send their young infant since those spaces are extremely rare around here...but I really really really don't want to take on an infant right now. It is extremely stressful right now (my experience has never been good with that age group...) and just the sound of an infant crying for some reason causes me a lot of stress (it didn't use to but now I get to the point where I want to cry if I hear a baby crying). I feel selfish and pathetic for denying infants based on that right now though...I'm normally not so emotional.
If I don't find someone soon...it won't be good...dh is saying maybe I should call up dcm I termed and give her a second chance...urgh...
Ok, done venting now...
Annalee 09:45 AM 02-05-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
So....I termed 2 children due to dcm not following policies.
But I have yet to find anyone to fill the slots.
Mostly, it seems to be because I'm pregnant (due in June). I've had interviews the last couple of days and each time I get to the part where I explain my pregnancy and the plan (assistant will be here towards the end if needed and then I will close for 2 weeks unpaid and then reopen again), the parents bail.
Last night was exceptionally disappointing as the mom walked in and the first thing she said to me was that her sister-in-law interviewed with me last night and so she already "got a heads up" on Facebook regarding my pregnancy and told me that she was warned that I "probably wouldn't be a good choice" due to my pregnancy possibly causing her to unexpectedly miss work.
Well, yeah, I could go into labor early and me closing for 2 weeks after that is not fun...but I don't know how else to placate families like her...
I still went through the interview and explained my pregnancy plan but she just sat there in silence and took 20 minutes to leave when I tried to end the interview (as in I told her I would be in touch, blah blah blah, we need to get my son to bed, and then she just sat there...not talking or moving while her son played...). I wonder why she even bothered coming if she and her sister-in-law were so worried about my pregnancy.
I don't try to hide it, as I don't want parents to enroll and then become upset about having to have backup care ready around June.
I could fill one spot with any number of parents desperate to find a place to send their young infant since those spaces are extremely rare around here...but I really really really don't want to take on an infant right now. It is extremely stressful right now (my experience has never been good with that age group...) and just the sound of an infant crying for some reason causes me a lot of stress (it didn't use to but now I get to the point where I want to cry if I hear a baby crying). I feel selfish and pathetic for denying infants based on that right now though...I'm normally not so emotional.
If I don't find someone soon...it won't be good...dh is saying maybe I should call up dcm I termed and give her a second chance...urgh...
Ok, done venting now...
So....I termed 2 children due to dcm not following policies.
But I have yet to find anyone to fill the slots.
Mostly, it seems to be because I'm pregnant (due in June). I've had interviews the last couple of days and each time I get to the part where I explain my pregnancy and the plan (assistant will be here towards the end if needed and then I will close for 2 weeks unpaid and then reopen again), the parents bail.
Last night was exceptionally disappointing as the mom walked in and the first thing she said to me was that her sister-in-law interviewed with me last night and so she already "got a heads up" on Facebook regarding my pregnancy and told me that she was warned that I "probably wouldn't be a good choice" due to my pregnancy possibly causing her to unexpectedly miss work.
Well, yeah, I could go into labor early and me closing for 2 weeks after that is not fun...but I don't know how else to placate families like her...
I still went through the interview and explained my pregnancy plan but she just sat there in silence and took 20 minutes to leave when I tried to end the interview (as in I told her I would be in touch, blah blah blah, we need to get my son to bed, and then she just sat there...not talking or moving while her son played...). I wonder why she even bothered coming if she and her sister-in-law were so worried about my pregnancy.
I don't try to hide it, as I don't want parents to enroll and then become upset about having to have backup care ready around June.
I could fill one spot with any number of parents desperate to find a place to send their young infant since those spaces are extremely rare around here...but I really really really don't want to take on an infant right now. It is extremely stressful right now (my experience has never been good with that age group...) and just the sound of an infant crying for some reason causes me a lot of stress (it didn't use to but now I get to the point where I want to cry if I hear a baby crying). I feel selfish and pathetic for denying infants based on that right now though...I'm normally not so emotional.
If I don't find someone soon...it won't be good...dh is saying maybe I should call up dcm I termed and give her a second chance...urgh...
Ok, done venting now...
I would not like a client walking in and judging me from a source like FB. You are a professional business owner in FCC...therefore, you will do the best you can to accommodate clients and YOURSELF. When I was pregnant, many moons ago, my clients were afraid I would quit after I had my own kids, but I had a meeting with them all and explained I am working to make a living just like they are. Also, I explained that I would do the best I could to plan, but that is hard to do with pregnancy. Best of luck to you.
e.j. 09:52 AM 02-05-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
So....I termed 2 children due to dcm not following policies.
Mostly, it seems to be because I'm pregnant (due in June). I've had interviews the last couple of days and each time I get to the part where I explain my pregnancy and the plan (assistant will be here towards the end if needed and then I will close for 2 weeks unpaid and then reopen again), the parents bail.
Instead of closing for those 2 weeks, would it be at all possible for your assistant to remain in place, providing uninterrupted care for parents? So....I termed 2 children due to dcm not following policies.
Mostly, it seems to be because I'm pregnant (due in June). I've had interviews the last couple of days and each time I get to the part where I explain my pregnancy and the plan (assistant will be here towards the end if needed and then I will close for 2 weeks unpaid and then reopen again), the parents bail.
Originally Posted by Kabob:
...dh is saying maybe I should call up dcm I termed and give her a second chance...
No way would I consider doing this. This would send the message to this family that you need them. I would be afraid they would take advantage of this knowledge. If you think you had problems with them following your policies before, I would think asking them back would make it much worse....dh is saying maybe I should call up dcm I termed and give her a second chance...
Annalee 09:58 AM 02-05-2014
Originally Posted by e.j.:
Instead of closing for those 2 weeks, would it be at all possible for your assistant to remain in place, providing uninterrupted care for parents?
I closed one week but come back with my assistant so it wasn't too bad. One week would sound better than two weeks to parents, especially when they have to pay. My parents paid both times I was closed for a week. I told parents in advance that I would close a week from date of birth, so I closed Wed to Wed once, and Fri to the following Monday the second time. There were some disgruntled parents but I didn't lose anyone over it. Instead of closing for those 2 weeks, would it be at all possible for your assistant to remain in place, providing uninterrupted care for parents?
Heidi 11:08 AM 02-05-2014
Originally Posted by Annalee:
I closed one week but come back with my assistant so it wasn't too bad. One week would sound better than two weeks to parents, especially when they have to pay. My parents paid both times I was closed for a week. I told parents in advance that I would close a week from date of birth, so I closed Wed to Wed once, and Fri to the following Monday the second time. There were some disgruntled parents but I didn't lose anyone over it.
Seriously? What the heck is WRONG with people? I closed one week but come back with my assistant so it wasn't too bad. One week would sound better than two weeks to parents, especially when they have to pay. My parents paid both times I was closed for a week. I told parents in advance that I would close a week from date of birth, so I closed Wed to Wed once, and Fri to the following Monday the second time. There were some disgruntled parents but I didn't lose anyone over it.
You had a freakin WEEK! woopedeedoo! They probably took 6 or even 12!
CraftyMom 11:13 AM 02-05-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
So....I termed 2 children due to dcm not following policies.
If I don't find someone soon...it won't be good...dh is saying maybe I should call up dcm I termed and give her a second chance...urgh...
Ok, done venting now...
Absolutely not! they are gone for a reason!So....I termed 2 children due to dcm not following policies.
If I don't find someone soon...it won't be good...dh is saying maybe I should call up dcm I termed and give her a second chance...urgh...
Ok, done venting now...
crazydaycarelady 11:21 AM 02-05-2014
I understand that it might be hard to get people when you are pregnant but I took 6-7 weeks off twice for maternity leave and lost not one single client. If they really want to make it work, they will. Just keep looking.
Heidi 11:24 AM 02-05-2014
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady:
I understand that it might be hard to get people when you are pregnant but I took 6-7 weeks off twice for maternity leave and lost not one single client. If they really want to make it work, they will. Just keep looking.
I understand that it might be hard to get people when you are pregnant but I took 6-7 weeks off twice for maternity leave and lost not one single client. If they really want to make it work, they will. Just keep looking.
Annalee 11:31 AM 02-05-2014
Originally Posted by Heidi:
Seriously? What the heck is WRONG with people?
You had a freakin WEEK! woopedeedoo! They probably took 6 or even 12!
Seriously? What the heck is WRONG with people?
You had a freakin WEEK! woopedeedoo! They probably took 6 or even 12!
Yep, I have had parents be off 12 weeks but as soon as the child is 6 wks, they are at dc every day....mom goes home and enjoys her day/time off!
Heidi 11:44 AM 02-05-2014
Originally Posted by Annalee:
Yep, I have had parents be off 12 weeks but as soon as the child is 6 wks, they are at dc every day....mom goes home and enjoys her day/time off!
That's just nuts! 3/4 of my daycare moms cried on the way to work the first day...and the second...and probably the third. Yep, I have had parents be off 12 weeks but as soon as the child is 6 wks, they are at dc every day....mom goes home and enjoys her day/time off!
Kabob 12:12 PM 02-05-2014
I originally thought about keeping the daycare open the whole time with my substitute but then that was shot down for a couple of reasons:
1. One of my dcm said she would rather have me close than have someone else watch her child. Her daughter has severe anxiety with anyone else. Understandable...dcg freaks out if anyone she doesn't recognize comes in the daycare....as in screams and doesn't calm down for hours afterwards. So dcm plans to pay to hold her spot and keep dcg home if I were to have someone else run the daycare.
2. Dh wants to have relaxing family time with the new baby. We compromised on 2 weeks since he has vacation and paternity leave he wants to use. Also my parents want to visit for a few days during which time my dad (who hasn't visited for over 2 years) wants to work on our house - like installing an extra service door in our garage) so dh feels like we wouldn't get quality family time if I were to close for less than 2 weeks.
I'm more worried about my family than myself. I want them to be happy. Of course if we don't have income that would be stressful...
Also the time I would be closed would be unpaid. I felt that was a fair trade since most moms get 6 weeks unpaid leave anyway...some are lucky enough to get paid leave.
I just am trying to spin my pregnancy in a positive way at interviews and feel I'm failing.
And no I won't take the previous family back...just not worth the stress but I do have moments of weakness when I think about how I lost families back to back. My fault but still...
And also I wanted to clarify that I certainly don't think being pregnant is a mistake.
1. One of my dcm said she would rather have me close than have someone else watch her child. Her daughter has severe anxiety with anyone else. Understandable...dcg freaks out if anyone she doesn't recognize comes in the daycare....as in screams and doesn't calm down for hours afterwards. So dcm plans to pay to hold her spot and keep dcg home if I were to have someone else run the daycare.
2. Dh wants to have relaxing family time with the new baby. We compromised on 2 weeks since he has vacation and paternity leave he wants to use. Also my parents want to visit for a few days during which time my dad (who hasn't visited for over 2 years) wants to work on our house - like installing an extra service door in our garage) so dh feels like we wouldn't get quality family time if I were to close for less than 2 weeks.
I'm more worried about my family than myself. I want them to be happy. Of course if we don't have income that would be stressful...
Also the time I would be closed would be unpaid. I felt that was a fair trade since most moms get 6 weeks unpaid leave anyway...some are lucky enough to get paid leave.
I just am trying to spin my pregnancy in a positive way at interviews and feel I'm failing.
And no I won't take the previous family back...just not worth the stress but I do have moments of weakness when I think about how I lost families back to back. My fault but still...
And also I wanted to clarify that I certainly don't think being pregnant is a mistake.
blandino 12:21 PM 02-05-2014
Originally Posted by Heidi:
That's just nuts! 3/4 of my daycare moms cried on the way to work the first day...and the second...and probably the third.
Ditto ! I have never had a DCP bring their child to DC while still on maternity leave. I would probably be so shocked, I wouldn't know what to do. That's just nuts! 3/4 of my daycare moms cried on the way to work the first day...and the second...and probably the third.
Most if mine are criers too
TwinKristi 12:50 PM 02-05-2014
A) I would never take the family back that I termed unless they came to me apologizing and ready to follow our rules. I would consider it then, not 100%!
B) You may need to make the choice to accept the "right" infant or keep the spot open for the right family. Unfortunately the closer you get to June the harder this will be in my opinion.
C) I know you need the income, but maybe it will be nice to have a smaller crew while approaching your 3rd trimester. I've never done daycare while pregnant so I can only imagine how tough it could be plus biweekly and then weekly appts and such.
B) You may need to make the choice to accept the "right" infant or keep the spot open for the right family. Unfortunately the closer you get to June the harder this will be in my opinion.
C) I know you need the income, but maybe it will be nice to have a smaller crew while approaching your 3rd trimester. I've never done daycare while pregnant so I can only imagine how tough it could be plus biweekly and then weekly appts and such.
cheerfuldom 06:59 PM 02-05-2014
Dont get desperate. find other ways to make ends meet for now but do not take families that are not the right fit. There is nothing wrong with not taking an infant! especially when you have your own coming. You will regret trying to juggle visitors and a new baby and daycare and daycare infants if you try to do it all. If your husband is worried about finances, he can get a second job for 6 months or so. There is only so much you can and should do. It is unwise to risk your mental health when you are at a fragile time in life with pregnancy and job related stress. It is also terribly hard to juggle multiple infants (been there, done that) so if there is anyway you can avoid it, please do. I would live off credit cards for awhile if it meant not taking another infant at this point. Every now and then you might come across an infant that is truly easy to please and sweet natured but most babies do not adjust easily to daycare and many parents ruin calm/easy babies by getting them trained to be held all the time, nursed all the time, entertained all the time and then dump them off at the sitters and you get stuck with a screaming unhappy baby. not a good idea!
Kabob 06:41 AM 02-06-2014
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
Dont get desperate. find other ways to make ends meet for now but do not take families that are not the right fit. There is nothing wrong with not taking an infant! especially when you have your own coming. You will regret trying to juggle visitors and a new baby and daycare and daycare infants if you try to do it all. If your husband is worried about finances, he can get a second job for 6 months or so. There is only so much you can and should do. It is unwise to risk your mental health when you are at a fragile time in life with pregnancy and job related stress. It is also terribly hard to juggle multiple infants (been there, done that) so if there is anyway you can avoid it, please do. I would live off credit cards for awhile if it meant not taking another infant at this point. Every now and then you might come across an infant that is truly easy to please and sweet natured but most babies do not adjust easily to daycare and many parents ruin calm/easy babies by getting them trained to be held all the time, nursed all the time, entertained all the time and then dump them off at the sitters and you get stuck with a screaming unhappy baby. not a good idea!
I have yet to have a calm/easy baby here...parents always say they are great at home and yet they never are here...then I find out they are holding them all day, sleeping anywhere but the crib, etc. Meh. It's been less stressful without a baby here...Dont get desperate. find other ways to make ends meet for now but do not take families that are not the right fit. There is nothing wrong with not taking an infant! especially when you have your own coming. You will regret trying to juggle visitors and a new baby and daycare and daycare infants if you try to do it all. If your husband is worried about finances, he can get a second job for 6 months or so. There is only so much you can and should do. It is unwise to risk your mental health when you are at a fragile time in life with pregnancy and job related stress. It is also terribly hard to juggle multiple infants (been there, done that) so if there is anyway you can avoid it, please do. I would live off credit cards for awhile if it meant not taking another infant at this point. Every now and then you might come across an infant that is truly easy to please and sweet natured but most babies do not adjust easily to daycare and many parents ruin calm/easy babies by getting them trained to be held all the time, nursed all the time, entertained all the time and then dump them off at the sitters and you get stuck with a screaming unhappy baby. not a good idea!
NeedaVaca 06:52 AM 02-06-2014
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
Dont get desperate. find other ways to make ends meet for now but do not take families that are not the right fit. There is nothing wrong with not taking an infant! especially when you have your own coming. You will regret trying to juggle visitors and a new baby and daycare and daycare infants if you try to do it all. If your husband is worried about finances, he can get a second job for 6 months or so. There is only so much you can and should do. It is unwise to risk your mental health when you are at a fragile time in life with pregnancy and job related stress. It is also terribly hard to juggle multiple infants (been there, done that) so if there is anyway you can avoid it, please do. I would live off credit cards for awhile if it meant not taking another infant at this point. Every now and then you might come across an infant that is truly easy to please and sweet natured but most babies do not adjust easily to daycare and many parents ruin calm/easy babies by getting them trained to be held all the time, nursed all the time, entertained all the time and then dump them off at the sitters and you get stuck with a screaming unhappy baby. not a good idea!
I agree with everything except the living off credit cards. That would just be another problem to deal with. Cut back,cut back, cut back! There are ways to save $ when you look hard enough. I am a big believer in couponingDont get desperate. find other ways to make ends meet for now but do not take families that are not the right fit. There is nothing wrong with not taking an infant! especially when you have your own coming. You will regret trying to juggle visitors and a new baby and daycare and daycare infants if you try to do it all. If your husband is worried about finances, he can get a second job for 6 months or so. There is only so much you can and should do. It is unwise to risk your mental health when you are at a fragile time in life with pregnancy and job related stress. It is also terribly hard to juggle multiple infants (been there, done that) so if there is anyway you can avoid it, please do. I would live off credit cards for awhile if it meant not taking another infant at this point. Every now and then you might come across an infant that is truly easy to please and sweet natured but most babies do not adjust easily to daycare and many parents ruin calm/easy babies by getting them trained to be held all the time, nursed all the time, entertained all the time and then dump them off at the sitters and you get stuck with a screaming unhappy baby. not a good idea!
KIDZRMYBIZ 11:20 AM 02-06-2014
DCP's don't understand how we are able to do our jobs, period, let alone how we can do them while pregnant or with a newborn of our own.
It can be tough to convince people that we are well-suited for our jobs, regardless of pregnancy or newborn-mommyhood. All you can do is keep interviewing, stay upbeat, and the right family will come along.
I would like to say that I worked by myself right up to delivery, took one week off, and had a FT assistant for the next 5 weeks for each of my births. I know I would have lost clients if daycare was closed any longer than 1 week. It was tiring, but I managed, and my business and myself are stronger for it.
It can be tough to convince people that we are well-suited for our jobs, regardless of pregnancy or newborn-mommyhood. All you can do is keep interviewing, stay upbeat, and the right family will come along.
I would like to say that I worked by myself right up to delivery, took one week off, and had a FT assistant for the next 5 weeks for each of my births. I know I would have lost clients if daycare was closed any longer than 1 week. It was tiring, but I managed, and my business and myself are stronger for it.
DaisyMamma 01:10 PM 02-06-2014
WOW. You're only closing for 2 weeks? That isn't much, really. I wouldn't give that person you interviewed another thought.
and definitely don't call the termed family. They really ARE gone for a reason!
and definitely don't call the termed family. They really ARE gone for a reason!
Kabob 02:51 PM 02-06-2014
Thanks! I know I gotta do what's best for me and my family. It would be nice to be able spend time with my family and parents as well as get some quality time in. My current daycare parents aren't worried about the time I'll be closed and I just scheduled a second interview with a family I interviewed this week so things are looking up. I think I was just feeling overwhelmed. Lots of things have been coming up in the last few weeks that have thrown me off...
Around here, providers close for about 4-6 weeks PAID when they have a baby so perhaps parents are just thinking of that when I mention I'm pregnant and the ones who are new to daycare just don't have the experience to know how it will go. So I just will stick with my plan of emphasizing that I have a plan (2 weeks closed unpaid with assistant/sub ready) and just keep looking.
Around here, providers close for about 4-6 weeks PAID when they have a baby so perhaps parents are just thinking of that when I mention I'm pregnant and the ones who are new to daycare just don't have the experience to know how it will go. So I just will stick with my plan of emphasizing that I have a plan (2 weeks closed unpaid with assistant/sub ready) and just keep looking.