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  #1  
Old 11-09-2008, 01:20 PM
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Default Advice Needed

Question for those of you with experience:

I have been doing home daycare off and on for 4 years. I quit for a while to take care of my youngest when she was born. I started back in August of this year and want to know what I can do to make this a more pleasant experience. I could never find a decent child care provider for my children, so that is why I decided to stay home and try it myself, because I really do love children. The problem is, I just do not like it. I have 4 daughters of my own 3 are in school and my youngest is 2 at home with me. I only watch 2 boys ages 3 1/2 and 18 months. I feel that all day long is a power struggle, I know they have rarely heard the word NO at home, so I feel that when they come to my house, that is all I do, tell them no, don't do that, etc. It has taken me 3 months to even get them to sit and read books and actually let me read without taking the book, running around, etc. I don't know if it is just me, or if it is the kids that I watch or if I am just not used to boys because they are so different. I know that some people are made for this and I probably am not one of them, but I really want to try to get better at this so that I can help provide for my family. I really need the income right now, but some days I just cry when I get them down for their nap. The boys came from a daycare facility and I try to have a routine, but I am sure I am not as structured as daycare would be. Any advice would be much appreciated.
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Old 11-09-2008, 06:28 PM
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The boys sound a lot like the girls I watch. When they started they were not disciplined at all. It took several months to get them to under stand that there are rules that must be followed or they will go to timeout. When they started they spent most of their time in timeout. They are much better now (parents have started to discipline but still not like they should) I can always tell if something changes at home by their behavior. I always feel relieved when they go down for a nap, leave or call to say they will not be coming. The other family I watch is a dream.

I'm sorry I have not been much help but wanted to let you know that you are not alone. It all depends alot on the parents on how well behaved the kids are. I do know that the kids do much better when they are on a routine - set snack,lunch,dinner & naps all at the same times everyday.
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Old 11-10-2008, 04:46 AM
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That actually helps alot. I was beginning to think that I was a bad person or something because these boys are really cute, but I am just not enjoying my days. I also look forward to them taking a nap and leaving. I have advertised to try to find one more child, 3-4 to see if that would help balance things out. I just don't think there are many families around here who believe in teaching self-control/discipline.
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Old 11-10-2008, 05:14 AM
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If you have a routine and help from the parents it will get better. I can't stress enough about parent help. If you do things a certain way then ask the parents to work on that at home. It will all work out easier that way. Good luck with everything.
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Old 11-10-2008, 10:06 AM
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That actually helps alot. I was beginning to think that I was a bad person or something because these boys are really cute, but I am just not enjoying my days. I also look forward to them taking a nap and leaving. I have advertised to try to find one more child, 3-4 to see if that would help balance things out. I just don't think there are many families around here who believe in teaching self-control/discipline.
I too think that this is a problem in todays socity. I had a lil boy that i kept for 2 years (a bitter) and he never got any better. He would really challange me in the mornings, by afternoon i was ready to have him nap and by the time it was time to go home he was fine but as soon........as soon as his parents walked through the door all H**l would break loose. I mean he would look for something evil to do, one time his mother walked through the door and he stood up looked around the room ran over to another child and pushed her over so hard that she actually fliped over backwards...mom did nothing. Another time he ran into my kitchen grabed a dirty glass from my sink and shattered it all over the floor....dad did nothing. He has managed to pick up and break all of my pavers outside. Bit a child so hard that she had to go to the er............ I could go on and on. It was a nightmare! And when she decided to pull him, she went to the new daycare, slandered me and in turn they called CPS for the things that she said to them. So now i carefully choose who will have the prevlige of comming to my daycare. My other kids good as gold(not all the time but most of the time).
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Old 11-11-2008, 07:04 AM
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Wow, that is crazy. These boys are not quite so vicious, but they are sure a handful. I have problems with them throwing things and biting. I have asked the parents to really work on these things at home, and they say that they are, but the lack of discipline in general is enough to drive you mad. They didn't even know how to sit in a chair in the beginning, they just stood up, it took about 2 months to teach them that furniture was for sitting and not standing and jumping on. I cannot even begin to imagine what they are like at home, I hope this gets better. Sometimes it seems by Thursday and Friday they are a little better and then they go home for the weekend and we have to start all over on Monday. Exhausting! I commend you all for your in home daycares with lots of kids, you are special people.
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Old 11-11-2008, 07:22 PM
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These parents just dont spend the time they need to with their children. The 1 set of parents will tell me stories of what the girls did - break all the eggs, dump a gallon of milk, turn their toddler bed upside down & the last one was "I have to buy them new beds some how they broke their toddler beds" Now tell me that they are paying attention to these kids the way they should be. Mine was never unsupervised to the point that he got away with 1/2 of this stuff. But then the same mother is amazed at how much better her kids listen to me then her, although they do test us when they are being picked up & I am not afraid to put them in time out with the parents there cuz the parents will not do anything about but keep telling them not to or to do something. I tell them if they can not listen to their mommy or daddy in my house they can stand in time out.
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Old 11-16-2008, 04:28 PM
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Default You can do it

Having 4 daugher of your own is stressful enough i'm sure - but to add running a business -wow - Look, when I had a home daycare - my child was the worst to deal with - when he was two years old - I had to send him to a nursery school 3 days a week ---we were spending 24 hours a day together and it was hard for him to deal with mom giving attention to other kids (IN HIS HOUSE!!) and it was too hard for me to have to deal with. It worked our great - and we got along much better.
You need no worry that you have to correct them all day - as exhausting as that is -we have alot of those children at my center.
You stick by your rules and you run the business not the kids and not the parents. Just make sure that if you have to scold them - you also give the that amount of hugs during that day. "NO" needs to be taught - don't feel bad. Just get control of the boys and you will be good to go.

And, as for being made for it ---- I never in my mind thought I woud be 'the daycare' -no way - no how! But - here I am with a center 13 years later.
It is really hard to run a daycare at home - you are alone alot, and usually husbands have an attitude that 'you are home all day....... and you have to deal with that stress..... I've been therel

Also - you mentioned 'structure' - it's over rated. A home dayare can offer alot more time and love with the kids than we can in a center.......
Provide quality care and be professional.
As a side note - maybe see your dr. and see if there is something like a mild anti-anxiety you can take to help level out your emotions. *It works*
Believe me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hang in there - and ask us if you have any other questions.
Ms.Sue
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  #9  
Old 11-17-2008, 05:37 AM
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Thanks Ms. Sue, that makes me feel better, too. I just needed to vent and hear from others who have been there. My 2-year-old does give me some trouble, she is pretty typical and so, I may look into putting her in a preschool program in the future. Thanks!
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  #10  
Old 12-19-2008, 07:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mrs.meg View Post
Question for those of you with experience:

I have been doing home daycare off and on for 4 years. I quit for a while to take care of my youngest when she was born. I started back in August of this year and want to know what I can do to make this a more pleasant experience. I could never find a decent child care provider for my children, so that is why I decided to stay home and try it myself, because I really do love children. The problem is, I just do not like it. I have 4 daughters of my own 3 are in school and my youngest is 2 at home with me. I only watch 2 boys ages 3 1/2 and 18 months. I feel that all day long is a power struggle, I know they have rarely heard the word NO at home, so I feel that when they come to my house, that is all I do, tell them no, don't do that, etc. It has taken me 3 months to even get them to sit and read books and actually let me read without taking the book, running around, etc. I don't know if it is just me, or if it is the kids that I watch or if I am just not used to boys because they are so different. I know that some people are made for this and I probably am not one of them, but I really want to try to get better at this so that I can help provide for my family. I really need the income right now, but some days I just cry when I get them down for their nap. The boys came from a daycare facility and I try to have a routine, but I am sure I am not as structured as daycare would be. Any advice would be much appreciated.

One thing you need to remember is, daycare children are not like your own, you can send them away and get new ones. I'm sorry you haven't been having a good experience. If you are married, you can be more picky, until you find the perfect families. One problem child (hitter, bitter, fusser, snatcher, crier, etc...), cab truly be more stress, hassle, tears (literally) than 3 or even more good natured children. We are licensed for 8 children. We had 7 children (3 families) that all moved out of state/country between last Christmas and March of 2008. These children were with us from the beginning (we had all but 1 since birth). Ever since then, it has not been the same, but if you start out with young/new born you can mold them to fit into your home/family. It truly does make a difference. Also, you need to interview/advertise until you find the ones you like (what type of parent you get makes a difference, that is the major factor as to how nice and peaceful your daycare relationship will be).
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  #11  
Old 02-02-2009, 06:44 AM
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Texasjeepgirl Texasjeepgirl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ms.Sue View Post
Having 4 daugher of your own is stressful enough i'm sure - but to add running a business -wow - Look, when I had a home daycare - my child was the worst to deal with - when he was two years old - I had to send him to a nursery school 3 days a week ---we were spending 24 hours a day together and it was hard for him to deal with mom giving attention to other kids (IN HIS HOUSE!!)
I thought I was the only one that did that.
I sent my second daughter to preschool 3 days per week, beginning when she was 3...same reasons...
The next year she went to all day preschool...
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