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Old 10-29-2018, 11:30 AM
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Brash123 Brash123 is offline
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Default Need Advice on Misbehaving Child

Hello, I have been watching a three and a half year old for over a year now. Her behavior has drastically changed in the past six months. I'm not even sure where to begin...
I met them through the daycare that I use to work for. She is pretty good at daycare, just the typical doesn't listen the first time, doesn't clean up. She also doesn't really interact with the other children. She usually would hang out in one area or look out the door and see whats going on out there...
When she gets mad at her mom, she rips the house apart. Everything from toilet paper and toothpaste all over the bathroom to taking all of her clothes out of her dressers. Then when her mom asks her to pick it up she refuses. I'm not sure how much mom pushes it though. She said that if she leaves the mess long enough she should eventually pick it up. But she doesn't, it just gets worse.

Some of her behaviors don't seem normal for her age. She will yell at her mom and just flat out not listen. She will just scream for something and I don't know what it is because she won't use her words. Then she gets really upset. I try and tell her to use her words but she just tries to hit me. Mom has never put her in time out before. I have when her behaviors results in one. And she listens and we talk it over after and we continue on.

I have had enough of being treated like this but they can't afford to lose me as a sitter. How do I tell the mom that I can't take it anymore and that she needs to start doing something different? She has told me that other people/family members have tried to tell her stuff like that and she doesn't believe it.


Do you think these behaviors are normal for a 3 1/2 year old to be doing on a constant basis? Any advice would be helpful...
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Old 10-29-2018, 12:22 PM
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Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
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Originally Posted by Brash123 View Post
Hello, I have been watching a three and a half year old for over a year now. Her behavior has drastically changed in the past six months. I'm not even sure where to begin...
I met them through the daycare that I use to work for. She is pretty good at daycare, just the typical doesn't listen the first time, doesn't clean up. She also doesn't really interact with the other children. She usually would hang out in one area or look out the door and see whats going on out there...
When she gets mad at her mom, she rips the house apart. Everything from toilet paper and toothpaste all over the bathroom to taking all of her clothes out of her dressers. Then when her mom asks her to pick it up she refuses. I'm not sure how much mom pushes it though. She said that if she leaves the mess long enough she should eventually pick it up. But she doesn't, it just gets worse.

Some of her behaviors don't seem normal for her age. She will yell at her mom and just flat out not listen. She will just scream for something and I don't know what it is because she won't use her words. Then she gets really upset. I try and tell her to use her words but she just tries to hit me. Mom has never put her in time out before. I have when her behaviors results in one. And she listens and we talk it over after and we continue on.

I have had enough of being treated like this but they can't afford to lose me as a sitter. How do I tell the mom that I can't take it anymore and that she needs to start doing something different? She has told me that other people/family members have tried to tell her stuff like that and she doesn't believe it.


Do you think these behaviors are normal for a 3 1/2 year old to be doing on a constant basis? Any advice would be helpful...
I would flat out tell the mother that you are not okay with a child hitting an adult and if the child's behavior does not improve within a certain amount of time, you will terminate services.

Mom may not believe you, but that is irrelevant if you still follow through on your end. You do NOT have to continue putting up with behavior like that.

It is NOT normal overall but is normal for a child being raised with out boundaries or limits. That however, is not your issue. It's the mother's issue.

If she can't afford to lose you as a caregiver, then I hope she takes you seriously when you put a time limit on how much longer you are willing to endure this type of physical aggression from a child.

Personally, I would immediately term any child that tried to hit me as that is one thing I simply will not tolerate for any reason. Especially from a child that is over age 3.

People rarely change their behaviors until it's an issue for them and right now, this child's bad behavior is only an issue for you. Give the issue back to the parent.

Put a star on your calendar so you have a timeline of when you'll term if the behavior isn't better. I would give no MORE than 30 days. Also every.single.time the child is physically aggressive towards you or other kids call the parent for immediate pick up. Any other children you care for need to have their safety and well being put before the child being naughty.
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Old 10-29-2018, 12:47 PM
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Ariana Ariana is online now
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Totally agree! A 3 year old knows better and there seems to either be no discipline at home or there is a Developmental delay. Either way it is not your problem. I would discuss the issues with mom and then give a timeline of when things will need to improve before termination. I always give parents a chance to work it out first before immediately terminating and most of the time it works out for the best. If not you can easily terminate.

Do not put up with this behavior if it is not getting better after speaking with mom.
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3 year old, defiance, developmental milestones, discipline - consistency, duplicate post, guidance, misbehavior, parent - its a verb, termination - behavioral, training

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