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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Call Me Crazy............How To Let Go
daycare 11:38 AM 05-03-2011
How do you deal with letting go? I have been inseparable from my 3.5 year old son since birth. I have never been away from him for more than a day.

Last night he told me please don’t cuddle me to sleep mommy, I'm not a baby anymore... of course I cried and just about fell apart over it.

He is growing up so fast and I am just not ready to let go.....But he is...


How do you deal with this and accept the changes he is demanding?
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Cat Herder 11:45 AM 05-03-2011
Tell me when you figure it out.

I was "uninvited" to my DD's 14th b-day slumber party.

I knew it was coming, but OUCH!!!
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cheerfuldom 11:48 AM 05-03-2011
You accept him as a person and stop seeing him as a baby. He is a little individual that deserves to have his personal space respected just as any other person needs. If he doesn't want a hug at that moment, you step back and do what he does feel comfortable with. I know it is very hard to see our babies grow up but it is not going to help if you unintentionally smother him. You are going to have to find other ways to grow your relationship outside of physical affection. Instead of cuddle time, you might go for a bike ride together or out for ice cream. Instead of too many hugs, try high fives or something else in its place. You start seeing him as the boy he is and the little man he is becoming and base your relationship on that instead of trying to regain a time period that is already over. If it makes you feel any better, there are a lot of kids that hit this stage a lot sooner than 3.5. Just keep him and his needs as the focus instead of your needs or preferences. Good luck!
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Michelle 11:51 AM 05-03-2011
Have another baby!
lol just kidding,
um , I wouldn't know, I still treat my 7 year old kinda babyish and I know I need to stop , so I have been playing board games with her and cook with her and stuff
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WDW 12:02 PM 05-03-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:
How do you deal with letting go? I have been inseparable from my 3.5 year old son since birth. I have never been away from him for more than a day.

Last night he told me please don’t cuddle me to sleep mommy, I'm not a baby anymore... of course I cried and just about fell apart over it.

He is growing up so fast and I am just not ready to let go.....But he is...


How do you deal with this and accept the changes he is demanding?
Hugs to you! I have tears just reading your post. I don't know either. My DS is 7 (my only child) and this is not easy. The only thing I know to do is just really enjoy the times he does want to cuddle and make the most of it. Not easy. I try to find enjoyment in other things too. We started a family game night, and things like that to have quality time together. I guess I'm lucky, my DS still wants to snuggle at night... and I dread the day he doesn't. Hang in there, maybe he'll change his mind.
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Zoe 12:07 PM 05-03-2011
Oh boy. If my little man (3yo) did that I would react the same way as you did! I'm so sorry!

I do agree with the other posters to just try to back off when he's not in a cuddle mood and take advantage when he does want to cuddle. If you're too insistent he may stop cuddling altogether. And that would just be awful!

Hang in there hon! I feel for ya!
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daycare 12:08 PM 05-03-2011
thats what I told my husband but I cant have any more I got tied......ugh lol
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daycare 12:10 PM 05-03-2011
Originally Posted by WDW:
Hugs to you! I have tears just reading your post. I don't know either. My DS is 7 (my only child) and this is not easy. The only thing I know to do is just really enjoy the times he does want to cuddle and make the most of it. Not easy. I try to find enjoyment in other things too. We started a family game night, and things like that to have quality time together. I guess I'm lucky, my DS still wants to snuggle at night... and I dread the day he doesn't. Hang in there, maybe he'll change his mind.
awe thank you... Yes it is hard... I know that I have to let go, but I don't enjoy it....
I am giving him space as he demands it, but it still makes me sad..

I have two older kids and I don't recall being this bad at letting go.....

I watched him sleep last night and just balled my eyes out like a baby......
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laundrymom 12:41 PM 05-03-2011
You smile and say honey, mommy will stop hugging you as much but your hugs make my heart feel so good,... Can I still have some each day? Then you wait for him to need you again. It will happen. I promise.
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QualiTcare 01:15 PM 05-03-2011
does he sleep with you every night? i've tried to keep my kids out of my bed to keep some sort of detachment - for their sake and MINE!

my husband is a different story. he always gets our son out of his bed where he's sleeping soundly and drags him into our bed so that he can hold him while he sleeps. he's started the whole, "i don't want you to hold me. you squeeze me too tight!" and my husband is having a hard time with it. i, on the other hand, give him a kiss and we're both snoring within 30 secs while my husband's lying there crying! jk
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daycare 01:32 PM 05-03-2011
yes we still co sleep. He has his own room, but has never slept in it....lol he does not even play in it....he has the front room for playing.,.

my husband works all the time so he has been my snuggle buddy..... and when daddy is home he is his snggle buddy too
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Tags:letting go, letting go - child in bed
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