Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Scammed On My First Kid
Southern Mama 12:35 PM 11-04-2012
Alright ladies. This is a long vent. Looking back at the situation, I know a lot of what I did wrong, but my common sense was clouded by the excitement of getting my first child.
I posted a Craigslist ad a couple of weeks ago stating that I would be open beginning Nov 5th because we were still setting up our playroom, finalizing our policies and all of that fun stuff. But I did say that if anybody needed immediate care and could bare with us in transition to contact me. A lady contacted me on Tuesday of this past week needing care beginning Thursday for her almost 11 month old daughter. We tried to organize an interview for Wednesday, but when I told her my available times, she had plans to take her kids trick or treating. She told me she will just have to meet me Thursday morning when she drops her daughter off. (red flad: who drops their kid off to a provider they've never laid eyes on?!?) I told her I would email her my handbook, please read over it and fill out the attached forms. She agreed and also agreed to my rates and enrollment fee, which are due BEFORE care. So I'm excited! Yay! My first enrollment!
Thursday morning mom arrived 15 minutes late (red flag: against handbook policy, seems she would have wanted to be there early to meet me and get a quick tour). She handed her daughter over to me, in socks, too short/small pants, and a thin sweater (parenting red flag: it's 30 degrees out!! no shoes or coat?). She handed me a bag with a few diapers, a few wipes, a onsie and a half empty bottle of whole milk(red flag: should have a package of diapers, 3 packages of wipes, 2 changes of clothes, food, nap time linens, shoes and a coat which are all in the handbook) At this point I was still thinking maybe it was just a hectic morning getting into a new routine. I asked her about the registration forms and payment and she told me she forgot...(red flag:I should have turned her away right here). She assured me she would bring everything that afternoon. I asked her about her about baby's eating habits and napping schedule. She told me "oh, she just loves her baba and peanut butter ritz" (parenting red flag: 2 allergens before 12 months) and that she just naps when she's tired. I tried to get her to elaborate but all she would say is that she doesn't like peas. Um ok. This whole time she had been standing in my doorway. She didn't ask me anything and didn't ask to see the house. She turned to leave and I insisted on showing her the kitchen, living room and playroom. She seemed rushed so off she went. All I knew was her first and last name, her email address and her daughter's first name.
We went straight to the table for breakfast. I tried to feed the baby bananas and oatmeal. She was super excited for them, but had no sort of pincer grasp and still seemed to push her food out with her tongue. This is a total assumption, but I got the impression that the parents don't feed her! She was definitely hooked on her bottle though. She wanted to suckle on it even when she wasn't drinking. It seemed like she hadn't had any practice eating, like maybe the parents just stuffed a bottle in her mouth to keep her happy. Anyway, the day goes on, she took two great naps, we colored a picture for mom, sang and danced, she (slowly) ate a good lunch, she loosened up and played well with my daughter and I loaned her a jacket and shoes so we could go on a walk in the wagon. But as the day went on I got more and more of an uneasy feeling that I wouldn't get paid and may never see this child again.
The mom showed up on time (yay) with paperwork (yay) but not all of it (she didn't see anymore attachments) and a check (yay)!! I told her about our day and she said she would see us the following morning. I immediately had a bad feeling about the check, and lucky for me there was a 1800 number on the front to call and verify funds. I called and of course there were insufficient funds. I called a second time to see if even a dollar would clear and it wouldn't either. I texted the mom and told her this and said that I loved having her daughter, but I would need full payment for this week and next week the following morning in cash before I could watch her daughter again. She said "yea...we don't get paid until tomorrow...ok". Why didn't she say that in the first place? I've used a check before and asked if they could please wait to cash it until the next day.
Friday morning she texted me that her paycheck is "missing" and can she pay me in the afternoon. By this time I was positive she was scamming me and I told her that I can't watch her daughter until she pays cash up front. She kept asking and trying to guilt me, but I stood firm. I asked if her husband, who works retail and (probably) didn't have to work at 7 in the morning could watch the baby until she straightened everything out. She said he had to work early. After the fact I remembered that she had said "WE get paid tomorrow", so where was HIS check? She finally said she will pay me for Thursday but that they will make other arrangements. Of course I haven't received any more contact from her.
I'm so disappointed and bummed that this was my first experience and will be my first memory associated with my new business. I know that if I hadn't been spending time on this forum, I wouldn't have had a backbone and may have been that sucker that kept her for a week or two before I realized what was happening. The sad thing is, she is such a sweet baby and if nothing else I wish the parents had paid so that I could make sure she was eating real food.
I'm not going to give up, but I'm definitely discouraged and sad that I'm back to no kids and no leads.
If you're still reading, thanks for letting me ramble. I would love some words of encouragement and advice on how to stay away from this type of situation. Ho hum....
I posted a Craigslist ad a couple of weeks ago stating that I would be open beginning Nov 5th because we were still setting up our playroom, finalizing our policies and all of that fun stuff. But I did say that if anybody needed immediate care and could bare with us in transition to contact me. A lady contacted me on Tuesday of this past week needing care beginning Thursday for her almost 11 month old daughter. We tried to organize an interview for Wednesday, but when I told her my available times, she had plans to take her kids trick or treating. She told me she will just have to meet me Thursday morning when she drops her daughter off. (red flad: who drops their kid off to a provider they've never laid eyes on?!?) I told her I would email her my handbook, please read over it and fill out the attached forms. She agreed and also agreed to my rates and enrollment fee, which are due BEFORE care. So I'm excited! Yay! My first enrollment!
Thursday morning mom arrived 15 minutes late (red flag: against handbook policy, seems she would have wanted to be there early to meet me and get a quick tour). She handed her daughter over to me, in socks, too short/small pants, and a thin sweater (parenting red flag: it's 30 degrees out!! no shoes or coat?). She handed me a bag with a few diapers, a few wipes, a onsie and a half empty bottle of whole milk(red flag: should have a package of diapers, 3 packages of wipes, 2 changes of clothes, food, nap time linens, shoes and a coat which are all in the handbook) At this point I was still thinking maybe it was just a hectic morning getting into a new routine. I asked her about the registration forms and payment and she told me she forgot...(red flag:I should have turned her away right here). She assured me she would bring everything that afternoon. I asked her about her about baby's eating habits and napping schedule. She told me "oh, she just loves her baba and peanut butter ritz" (parenting red flag: 2 allergens before 12 months) and that she just naps when she's tired. I tried to get her to elaborate but all she would say is that she doesn't like peas. Um ok. This whole time she had been standing in my doorway. She didn't ask me anything and didn't ask to see the house. She turned to leave and I insisted on showing her the kitchen, living room and playroom. She seemed rushed so off she went. All I knew was her first and last name, her email address and her daughter's first name.
We went straight to the table for breakfast. I tried to feed the baby bananas and oatmeal. She was super excited for them, but had no sort of pincer grasp and still seemed to push her food out with her tongue. This is a total assumption, but I got the impression that the parents don't feed her! She was definitely hooked on her bottle though. She wanted to suckle on it even when she wasn't drinking. It seemed like she hadn't had any practice eating, like maybe the parents just stuffed a bottle in her mouth to keep her happy. Anyway, the day goes on, she took two great naps, we colored a picture for mom, sang and danced, she (slowly) ate a good lunch, she loosened up and played well with my daughter and I loaned her a jacket and shoes so we could go on a walk in the wagon. But as the day went on I got more and more of an uneasy feeling that I wouldn't get paid and may never see this child again.
The mom showed up on time (yay) with paperwork (yay) but not all of it (she didn't see anymore attachments) and a check (yay)!! I told her about our day and she said she would see us the following morning. I immediately had a bad feeling about the check, and lucky for me there was a 1800 number on the front to call and verify funds. I called and of course there were insufficient funds. I called a second time to see if even a dollar would clear and it wouldn't either. I texted the mom and told her this and said that I loved having her daughter, but I would need full payment for this week and next week the following morning in cash before I could watch her daughter again. She said "yea...we don't get paid until tomorrow...ok". Why didn't she say that in the first place? I've used a check before and asked if they could please wait to cash it until the next day.
Friday morning she texted me that her paycheck is "missing" and can she pay me in the afternoon. By this time I was positive she was scamming me and I told her that I can't watch her daughter until she pays cash up front. She kept asking and trying to guilt me, but I stood firm. I asked if her husband, who works retail and (probably) didn't have to work at 7 in the morning could watch the baby until she straightened everything out. She said he had to work early. After the fact I remembered that she had said "WE get paid tomorrow", so where was HIS check? She finally said she will pay me for Thursday but that they will make other arrangements. Of course I haven't received any more contact from her.
I'm so disappointed and bummed that this was my first experience and will be my first memory associated with my new business. I know that if I hadn't been spending time on this forum, I wouldn't have had a backbone and may have been that sucker that kept her for a week or two before I realized what was happening. The sad thing is, she is such a sweet baby and if nothing else I wish the parents had paid so that I could make sure she was eating real food.
I'm not going to give up, but I'm definitely discouraged and sad that I'm back to no kids and no leads. If you're still reading, thanks for letting me ramble. I would love some words of encouragement and advice on how to stay away from this type of situation. Ho hum....
lovemykidstoo 12:54 PM 11-04-2012
I am so sorry that that happened. Craigslist sometimes brings out the scammers. I would try advertising in churches, schools etc. I have had a couple of people call me from putting up a flier in the cry room in church.
sharlan 01:17 PM 11-04-2012
Post the factual info on Craigslist so that other provider's can see this.
Southern Mama 01:21 PM 11-04-2012
Originally Posted by sharlan:
Post the factual info on Craigslist so that other provider's can see this.
I was thinking that, but I was nervous she might retaliate against me on CL. With me not having a clientele yet, that could be disastrous. I did contact another provider in my immediate area by phone and she said the same lady had contacted her around the same time, but she turned her down because she only takes 2 and up.Post the factual info on Craigslist so that other provider's can see this.
Southern Mama 01:22 PM 11-04-2012
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
I am so sorry that that happened. Craigslist sometimes brings out the scammers. I would try advertising in churches, schools etc. I have had a couple of people call me from putting up a flier in the cry room in church.
I am so sorry that that happened. Craigslist sometimes brings out the scammers. I would try advertising in churches, schools etc. I have had a couple of people call me from putting up a flier in the cry room in church.
That's a great idea! I actually started working on a flyer last night! Great minds...
What is the consensus on putting flyers on mailboxes in the immediate area?
biglou 01:41 PM 11-04-2012
Miss Elizabeth,
So sorry your first experience was so bad, but I believe in learning something new every day, and lets talk about it, because there are many lessons to learn here.
Lesson #1- Always follow you instincts on issues.
Lesson #2- Memorize Lesson #1
Lesson #3- Your drive the enrollment process, not the DCP!
Lesson #4- No one receives care until you have a completed application process, contact info, and acknowledged the acceptance of potential applicants; info on DCK regarding allergies, medical history, etc...!
Lesson #5- No one starts to receive care until they agree to your fees and payment process. Also must demonstrate an ability to pay!
Lesson #6- Deposits and first week of care already deposited in your bank account.
Lesson #7- DCP that comes to you without a reference from someone you trust needs to be vetted, background check, credit check, etc... this is what an application fee should pay for and easy to do using Internet.
Lesson # ....
I could go on, but this is enough. In your posting, it is clear you knew this was the wrong way to do it, but you did not take control and allowed the woman to manipulate you, so please remember this experience and learn from it. Thank god she only beat you for two days care! This type of person could have also done a slip and fall on your property to instigate a law suit too!
To remember this experience write down all that went wrong and then summarize it and use it as a score card when reviewing future candidates to see if your next DCP reminds you of this woman!!!
Good luck!
Big Lou
So sorry your first experience was so bad, but I believe in learning something new every day, and lets talk about it, because there are many lessons to learn here.
Lesson #1- Always follow you instincts on issues.
Lesson #2- Memorize Lesson #1
Lesson #3- Your drive the enrollment process, not the DCP!
Lesson #4- No one receives care until you have a completed application process, contact info, and acknowledged the acceptance of potential applicants; info on DCK regarding allergies, medical history, etc...!
Lesson #5- No one starts to receive care until they agree to your fees and payment process. Also must demonstrate an ability to pay!
Lesson #6- Deposits and first week of care already deposited in your bank account.
Lesson #7- DCP that comes to you without a reference from someone you trust needs to be vetted, background check, credit check, etc... this is what an application fee should pay for and easy to do using Internet.
Lesson # ....
I could go on, but this is enough. In your posting, it is clear you knew this was the wrong way to do it, but you did not take control and allowed the woman to manipulate you, so please remember this experience and learn from it. Thank god she only beat you for two days care! This type of person could have also done a slip and fall on your property to instigate a law suit too!
To remember this experience write down all that went wrong and then summarize it and use it as a score card when reviewing future candidates to see if your next DCP reminds you of this woman!!!
Good luck!
Big Lou
sharlan 02:07 PM 11-04-2012
There's evidently a parent scamming providers not too far from me. I've seen a couple of providers posting police contact info on the parent.
Blackcat31 02:07 PM 11-04-2012
{{{{hugs}}}} I am sorry that happened to you.
Sometimes it takes a really crappy experience to teach us a REALLY valuable lesson.
Hang in there.
Sometimes it takes a really crappy experience to teach us a REALLY valuable lesson.
Hang in there.
Scout 02:38 PM 11-04-2012
Ugh! You make me happy my nut didnt show. She wanted to drop her 10 mo old off with me one day too. I was like what kind f a parent does that without meeting me first?! Good luck to you.
cheerfuldom 03:10 PM 11-04-2012
You did learn a hard lesson OP but at least you learned it. There are, sadly, many providers that deal with these type of parents for months and never stand up for themselves. A friend of a friend kept a sibling set for over a year with NO payment! I dont know how this went on so long but goodness sakes, at least you put a stop to it quickly. For your own sake and future of your business, please never take a child that you do not have full emergency contact information on! That was the most alarming thing to me....if something would have happened to this girl, it doesnt sound like you knew who to call and that type of thing.
dave4him 03:10 PM 11-04-2012
Oh there is no way i would have even taken the kid in the first place from the sound of that.
cheerfuldom 03:11 PM 11-04-2012
As for advertising, i was told you cannot put anything IN mailboxes and I would assume the same rule applies for ON mailboxes. i hired a teenager to put flyers in the doors in my neighborhood, I also put a sign up just outside the neighborhood in several places.
countrymom 05:23 PM 11-04-2012
I think we all had that parent when we all started off (mine was arrested for child *****graphy) so don't feel bad.
second, I would post about her on craigslist. What is she going to tell, that you didn't take care of her dd. She stiffed you pay, and what happens if she does this to others. I agree too with posting info to contact the police because once a scammer always a scammer.
second, I would post about her on craigslist. What is she going to tell, that you didn't take care of her dd. She stiffed you pay, and what happens if she does this to others. I agree too with posting info to contact the police because once a scammer always a scammer.
lovemykidstoo 06:49 PM 11-04-2012
Originally Posted by elizabethkc:
That's a great idea! I actually started working on a flyer last night! Great minds... What is the consensus on putting flyers on mailboxes in the immediate area?
I would definately do it in my own neighbhorhood. Luckily, I've been full for the most part with just word of mouth. If I were down in numbers, I would absolutely do that. I've had over the years 3-4 neighbor kids that I've taken care of. Those actually came up to me while I was outside with the kids and asked me about my business. Actually now that I think of it, 1 put a note inside my mailbox and asked me to call her.That's a great idea! I actually started working on a flyer last night! Great minds...
What is the consensus on putting flyers on mailboxes in the immediate area?
Southern Mama 07:01 PM 11-04-2012
Originally Posted by countrymom:
I think we all had that parent when we all started off (mine was arrested for child *****graphy) so don't feel bad.
second, I would post about her on craigslist. What is she going to tell, that you didn't take care of her dd. She stiffed you pay, and what happens if she does this to others. I agree too with posting info to contact the police because once a scammer always a scammer.
Ugh. That is just disgusting! I would feel so dirty just having had that person in my home! So sick! Sorry you had to deal with that.I think we all had that parent when we all started off (mine was arrested for child *****graphy) so don't feel bad.
second, I would post about her on craigslist. What is she going to tell, that you didn't take care of her dd. She stiffed you pay, and what happens if she does this to others. I agree too with posting info to contact the police because once a scammer always a scammer.
Southern Mama 07:02 PM 11-04-2012
Originally Posted by dave4him:
Oh there is no way i would have even taken the kid in the first place from the sound of that.
You are SO right... *hangs my head in shame*Oh there is no way i would have even taken the kid in the first place from the sound of that.
Southern Mama 07:09 PM 11-04-2012
Originally Posted by biglou:
Miss Elizabeth,
So sorry your first experience was so bad, but I believe in learning something new every day, and lets talk about it, because there are many lessons to learn here.
Lesson #1- Always follow you instincts on issues.
Lesson #2- Memorize Lesson #1
Lesson #3- Your drive the enrollment process, not the DCP!
Lesson #4- No one receives care until you have a completed application process, contact info, and acknowledged the acceptance of potential applicants; info on DCK regarding allergies, medical history, etc...!
Lesson #5- No one starts to receive care until they agree to your fees and payment process. Also must demonstrate an ability to pay!
Lesson #6- Deposits and first week of care already deposited in your bank account.
Lesson #7- DCP that comes to you without a reference from someone you trust needs to be vetted, background check, credit check, etc... this is what an application fee should pay for and easy to do using Internet.
Lesson # ....
I could go on, but this is enough. In your posting, it is clear you knew this was the wrong way to do it, but you did not take control and allowed the woman to manipulate you, so please remember this experience and learn from it. Thank god she only beat you for two days care! This type of person could have also done a slip and fall on your property to instigate a law suit too!
To remember this experience write down all that went wrong and then summarize it and use it as a score card when reviewing future candidates to see if your next DCP reminds you of this woman!!!
Good luck!
Big Lou
Miss Elizabeth,
So sorry your first experience was so bad, but I believe in learning something new every day, and lets talk about it, because there are many lessons to learn here.
Lesson #1- Always follow you instincts on issues.
Lesson #2- Memorize Lesson #1
Lesson #3- Your drive the enrollment process, not the DCP!
Lesson #4- No one receives care until you have a completed application process, contact info, and acknowledged the acceptance of potential applicants; info on DCK regarding allergies, medical history, etc...!
Lesson #5- No one starts to receive care until they agree to your fees and payment process. Also must demonstrate an ability to pay!
Lesson #6- Deposits and first week of care already deposited in your bank account.
Lesson #7- DCP that comes to you without a reference from someone you trust needs to be vetted, background check, credit check, etc... this is what an application fee should pay for and easy to do using Internet.
Lesson # ....
I could go on, but this is enough. In your posting, it is clear you knew this was the wrong way to do it, but you did not take control and allowed the woman to manipulate you, so please remember this experience and learn from it. Thank god she only beat you for two days care! This type of person could have also done a slip and fall on your property to instigate a law suit too!
To remember this experience write down all that went wrong and then summarize it and use it as a score card when reviewing future candidates to see if your next DCP reminds you of this woman!!!
Good luck!
Big Lou
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
{{{{hugs}}}} I am sorry that happened to you.
Sometimes it takes a really crappy experience to teach us a REALLY valuable lesson.
Hang in there.
{{{{hugs}}}} I am sorry that happened to you.
Sometimes it takes a really crappy experience to teach us a REALLY valuable lesson.
Hang in there.
Originally Posted by aprilsfool77:
Ugh! You make me happy my nut didnt show. She wanted to drop her 10 mo old off with me one day too. I was like what kind f a parent does that without meeting me first?! Good luck to you.
Ugh! You make me happy my nut didnt show. She wanted to drop her 10 mo old off with me one day too. I was like what kind f a parent does that without meeting me first?! Good luck to you.
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
You did learn a hard lesson OP but at least you learned it. There are, sadly, many providers that deal with these type of parents for months and never stand up for themselves. A friend of a friend kept a sibling set for over a year with NO payment! I dont know how this went on so long but goodness sakes, at least you put a stop to it quickly. For your own sake and future of your business, please never take a child that you do not have full emergency contact information on! That was the most alarming thing to me....if something would have happened to this girl, it doesnt sound like you knew who to call and that type of thing.
Thanks y'all! I definitely learned a lesson! As much as I want to have even one child enrolled, I need to follow through with my procedures. I made them for a reason! ALL forms filled out, fees and tuition paid and cleared, and I've already updated my handbook to include a "No personal checks" policy. Advance cash, money order, paypal and eventually MMK only for me. I need to listen to my gut and put my foot down in these types of situations. Live and learn huh?You did learn a hard lesson OP but at least you learned it. There are, sadly, many providers that deal with these type of parents for months and never stand up for themselves. A friend of a friend kept a sibling set for over a year with NO payment! I dont know how this went on so long but goodness sakes, at least you put a stop to it quickly. For your own sake and future of your business, please never take a child that you do not have full emergency contact information on! That was the most alarming thing to me....if something would have happened to this girl, it doesnt sound like you knew who to call and that type of thing.