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Old 12-21-2011, 01:45 PM
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Default Changing The Name Of "The Crying Spot" To...

I wrote before about my discovery (per someone's comment here) of "The Crying Spot", and how it has worked like a charm for my 3.5 yr old dcg with severe separation issues (or excellent manipulation skills, whichever way you want to look at it ). Anyway, I noticed that a constant theme to it was that I was telling her "It's your choice to get up whenever you want. When you choose to stop crying, you can get up and play." "You need to choose whether you want to cry or NOT cry." "Pick which one you want, it's your choice." Etc.

So I have now started calling it the "Choosing Place". I tell her "Time to go to your choosing place and pick whether you want to keep crying, or stop crying and go play with the other kids. It's your choice."

Gotta love that "Choosing Place".
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Old 12-21-2011, 01:49 PM
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I like it

We call ours The Quiet Corner
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Old 12-21-2011, 01:53 PM
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Ours is similar to your the decision making mat....

Like your name too!!!
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Old 12-21-2011, 09:17 PM
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Ours is similar to your the decision making mat....

Like your name too!!!
Yes, Decision Mat is a good one too. I just want it to be totally different than a time-out. It's not punishment. I want the kid to realize they have a choice on IF and HOW LONG they cry.
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Old 12-22-2011, 03:00 AM
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We call it the calm down corner. As soon as they calm down, they can rejoin us.

I agree with Joyce. We dont use it for "punishment", but more for a place for them to just "get it together".
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Old 12-22-2011, 05:52 AM
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My question is then, do you ever use "time outs?", and if so, do you have a seperate place for them? If you don't, what do you use for blatant misbehaviors, such as hitting each other, etc? I'm talking 3+ year olds..not toddlers...
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Old 12-22-2011, 09:12 AM
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My question is then, do you ever use "time outs?", and if so, do you have a seperate place for them? If you don't, what do you use for blatant misbehaviors, such as hitting each other, etc? I'm talking 3+ year olds..not toddlers...
Yes, I do timeouts. And yes, it's an entirely different spot, different circumstances, different discussion, no choice on when you get out of it, etc.
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Old 12-22-2011, 09:16 AM
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Brilliant!!
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Old 12-22-2011, 09:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bbo View Post
My question is then, do you ever use "time outs?", and if so, do you have a seperate place for them? If you don't, what do you use for blatant misbehaviors, such as hitting each other, etc? I'm talking 3+ year olds..not toddlers...
If you preform any act of violence in my DC you get to be separated from society.
You get to do the crime for your time and will do so until I feel you understand that you will not hurt anyone ever again.

I have a separate play area that has books, crayons and writing paper and when you act out in violence this is where you go
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Old 12-22-2011, 09:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bbo View Post
My question is then, do you ever use "time outs?", and if so, do you have a seperate place for them? If you don't, what do you use for blatant misbehaviors, such as hitting each other, etc? I'm talking 3+ year olds..not toddlers...
Same spot here. If they are crying and upset, I go with them to the beanbag, talk for a minute about what's wrong, comfort them and tell them to rest for a minute and get up whenever they are ready to play. Its called the "cozy corner
" in that case. If someone is temper tantruming or hurting, they just get escorted there, with a very brief explanation as to why "we don't hit, that hurts, you have ___mins to sit." (3 yo=3 mins, 4yo=4 mins, etc.) Then its called "the cooler". Main difference Miss Magnolia will hang out with you and comfort you for a bit in the "cozy corner", but Miss Magnolia simply puts you in "the cooler". We ALWAYS talk about what went wrong AFTER you get out of "the cooler", never before or during. The kids all know the difference between the cozy corner and the cooler, but its the same beanbag.
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Old 12-22-2011, 09:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia View Post
Same spot here. If they are crying and upset, I go with them to the beanbag, talk for a minute about what's wrong, comfort them and tell them to rest for a minute and get up whenever they are ready to play. Its called the "cozy corner
" in that case. If someone is temper tantruming or hurting, they just get escorted there, with a very brief explanation as to why "we don't hit, that hurts, you have ___mins to sit." (3 yo=3 mins, 4yo=4 mins, etc.) Then its called "the cooler". Main difference Miss Magnolia will hang out with you and comfort you for a bit in the "cozy corner", but Miss Magnolia simply puts you in "the cooler". We ALWAYS talk about what went wrong AFTER you get out of "the cooler", never before or during. The kids all know the difference between the cozy corner and the cooler, but its the same beanbag.
Rarely, if ever, do my kids cry for "legitimate" reasons. If someone is crying because they are hurt (physically or sad feelings), I cuddle them and comfort. The majority of crying here is tantrums, though. It's mostly the 4yo dcb, who doesn't like to take no for an answer, and tantrums a little or alot depending on the day. During the 2 hour party we had Tuesday, he cried at least 5 times when he didn't get his way. Luckily, his parents had to deal with that. Mostly Dad going "there...there.." eww

I was going to try the crying corner vs. calling it a time out, buts esentially for him, it's the same. Of course, he is modeling this behavior for all the younger ones, and they all try it sometimes as well. My strategy with them up until now has been to just walk away. It's harder to do that with him because he like to do it at the lunch table, and occasionally resorts to throwing the nearest objects. His 3yo sister prefers to try to kick or smack me.
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Old 12-24-2011, 08:30 AM
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Wow... I love all the different 'terms' you girls have suggested...
.. I have always just sent them to the 'time out' chair...
I tell them the same things ... When you are finished crying...you are completely welcome to come join your friends... When your 'fit' is over...let us know...by joining us...etc... But... I still have always called it the TIME OUT chair... I have a 3 year old dcg... she brings a whole new meaning to DRAMA QUEEN... She ALWAYS asks me... Tammy..am I in trouble...and I say .. No...you aren't in trouble...but until you stop all that screaming/crying...and drama .. you need to sit down...
When she's finished...she always says...I've stopped my crying...
and I always say...Ok...that is so great...come play with your friends and have a nice time....
I love the idea of 'not' calling it time out...
I hate to feel like they are being punished...but... have MERCY...



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Old 12-26-2011, 01:55 PM
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I love it! I just have the couch. No cool names. Used too. Guess, I should start getting more creative again
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