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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>How Do You Deal With Families With Financial Problems?
mysonsmom1 11:23 AM 10-30-2012
I think that I have reached my limit yesterday when a demanding DCM asked me to decrease the amount of baby formula that I was feeding her DCC because her WIC ran out and the formula is too expensive.

History: DCB started when he was 3 months old, now he is 10 months. When the DCB was 8 months, the father stopped providing support causing a financial hardship on the DCM. I lowered her rate letting her know that it would be a temporary adjustment. I hurt myself financially because of it and over the past 2 months turned potential clients away because I could not accept another infant because of ratio standards. 2 months turned into 4 months because she is still not on her feet. Last week on Monday, I gave the DCM that her rate was going to go up to the toddler rate which is still a big discount because she was not going to pay the infant rate. Later that evening, she told me that she couldn’t afford the increase and would pay it as long as she could. The next day the DCD stopped by with some diapers and said that she was thinking about leaving because of the increase but he would cover the increase so that he could stay in my care. I thought that the problem was solved until last night and the weird drop off this morning when the DCM just dropped the kid off at the front door without saying a word.


The DCM has always been demanding from the beginning about how I should take care of the DCB. It has never bothered me before until today. During pick up, she demanded that I feed him less formula because her WIC ran out and she her Soy Formula is too expensive. I know that she is going through financial hardship but I feel like she is taking it out on me as if I am the problem. The DCB drinks all of his formula and then eats all of his food on top of that. Most of the time I have to give him seconds on table food. This is a demand that I don’t think that I could live with because I could never not feed the baby. I could offer to use my formula because the state requires that I keep it in stock but the DCB is on Soy formula and I can only buy formula that’s universal for all the infants in care.

Her financial problems are spilling over into my daycare. What you would do with this family?
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SilverSabre25 11:28 AM 10-30-2012
Honestly? First, tell her that you cannot feed a baby less and you will feed a baby according to hunger or the federal food program guidelines (whatever you want to say). She needs to provide you with the full amount of formula that he needs each day, or keep him home.

Second, fill the spot then terminate. Before terminating, let her know that you have a family interested in the spot and unless she's able to pay the full infant rate of $x then you are sorry but you must terminate care as of [whenever].

Then, prepare for a visit from licensing.
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nanglgrl 11:31 AM 10-30-2012
I would not budge and start right away with her paying the regular rate. I would also feed the baby on demand. Send out a letter stating as of x date her rates will increase and state what your feeding policies are. You will end up with one of two outcomes. 1. She will leave your daycare, you won't have to deal with her neediness, complaining about costs or silly request to not feed her child....what's next only change the child's diaper 1x a day or when they poop? 2. She will find a way to pay and she might still be a pain in the butt in which case you advertise, fill the spot and kick her to the curb. In my experience a lot of people that complain about money spend a lot of money on things that are not necessities such as food for their children and daycare.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 11:41 AM 10-30-2012
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
Honestly? First, tell her that you cannot feed a baby less and you will feed a baby according to hunger or the federal food program guidelines (whatever you want to say). She needs to provide you with the full amount of formula that he needs each day, or keep him home.

Second, fill the spot then terminate. Before terminating, let her know that you have a family interested in the spot and unless she's able to pay the full infant rate of $x then you are sorry but you must terminate care as of [whenever].

Then, prepare for a visit from licensing.
EXACTLY this.
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biglou 03:42 PM 10-30-2012
Silver saber is point! You messed up on this one, so just let it go and get a new family for the spot. Next time this situation comes up, remember this family!

Big Lou
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MyAngels 03:46 PM 10-30-2012
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
Honestly? First, tell her that you cannot feed a baby less and you will feed a baby according to hunger or the federal food program guidelines (whatever you want to say). She needs to provide you with the full amount of formula that he needs each day, or keep him home.

Second, fill the spot then terminate. Before terminating, let her know that you have a family interested in the spot and unless she's able to pay the full infant rate of $x then you are sorry but you must terminate care as of [whenever].

Then, prepare for a visit from licensing.
This is the way to go .
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MarinaVanessa 04:07 PM 10-30-2012
What Silver said. I'd just say that I won't do anything against what the packaging instructions say otherwise it's improper use of the product. I would explain that you have regulations to follow and that due to liability issues you aren't able to meet her request.
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itlw8 04:50 PM 10-30-2012
My answer depends on how much formula he drinks each day. 3 6 to 8 ounce bottles should cover the time he is with you at that age. possibly less if he has one before he comes in the morning.

So you provide formula to the others just not his soy ? Well I would probaby buy the store brand soy formula it cost the same as the regular formula. How many other babies do you feed the other formula to ?

I supply parents choice formula so that is how I would help a familly in need I would provide the soy formula. store brand only.
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countrymom 06:30 AM 10-31-2012
first, don't let her money problems become your money problems. Also, why is running out of formula. She needs to budget money for that. I would be concerned that she's not feeding her child and he's going to get dehydrated. I would call liscencing and ask them what to do on this situation. Because it can go from bad to really ugly quick.
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Cat Herder 06:39 AM 10-31-2012
I agree with ITLW8 on buying the generic soy formula and providing it since you provide it for everyone else at your current rate. If you did not provide for everyone else then it would be a moot point, IMHO. Soy formula is on the Federal Food Program guidelines and is included in the reimbursement rate.

As for the discount. That was a mistake that needs to stop yesterday. It is not a discount to her, it is what she feels is a fair price "for her". She does not care that it hurts you.

She has already told you (by saying she may leave if you don't give her her way) that your care is not valuable enough for her to budget for (what else has she given up besides things for her child?). I'd also not trust DCD, he already abandoned his wife and child... what makes you think you rate higher to him??

In your shoes, I'd provide formula and Demand full payment. From there I'd let the chips fall where they may. After-All you can fill her slot with a client willing to pay.

Parents' life choices should not affect ours.
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Cat Herder 06:56 AM 10-31-2012
Every time I try to edit the spelling I get a warning saying it is not allowed and am logged out. Halloween Trick?
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SilverSabre25 06:59 AM 10-31-2012
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
Every time I try to edit the spelling I get a warning saying it is not allowed and am logged out. Halloween Trick?
I changed "effect" to "affect" for you (was that the spelling you meant?) and didn't have a problem...
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Cat Herder 07:03 AM 10-31-2012
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
I changed "effect" to "affect" for you (was that the spelling you meant?) and didn't have a problem...
Thank you!! and abandoned...

It may be my computer.. it is still flashing red when I come here. I have to "continue to website" against my security warnings because it says the certificate is invalid and issues for another website

I don't understand any of it... and you can delete these posts since they are irrelevant to this topic... I am a technophobe.
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countrymom 11:14 AM 10-31-2012
I got a message that the moderator had to approve my post, but when I refreshed my post was there, wierd.
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daycare 11:22 AM 10-31-2012
I have not read everyone's responses, but this is what I would do.

First stop letting her issues become yours. I would sit and talk with her and let her know that you could not possibly do this to the child. Ask the mom if there are other ways that she can get assistance. Perhaps food banks, churches or some type of other programs. If I really loved the family, I would even go as far as looking into this information for them and then printing it out. Sit down and go over it to see where she can get more help.

If the family is truly a pain, then I would have to tell them that I have done all that I can and that I need for the mother to step up for their child. If she can't then I have no choice then to let them go.

I have done some favors like this in the past for a family and I think that the mother always did stuff like this to me, because she wanted me to feel sorry for her and pick up her short falls....NOPE not going to happen.

Hopefully you have gotten something figured out with this family....
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mysonsmom1 07:51 AM 11-01-2012
There were so many wonderful suggestions. I am happy that there is a place where I can go to get direction from different perspectives..

I hear the same theme throughout the posts is that I shouldnt make her financial problems my problems.

The outcome of this story is that the DCM decided to stay and apolozised for her attitude with me that day. According to her, she had a bad day and considered the request a mute point. I had my formula and her formula on the table when she walked in and told her that the conversation bothered me so I wanted to resolve it.

Ive learned a lot in this first year.. The biggest thing that I have learned is that I have to stick to policy and rates. Sob stories will come and go but overall, this is the only way I am able to provide for my family.
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