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Registered-logged out 09:12 PM 07-22-2011
I logged out because this situation is totally indicative of my center and privacy issues...My director and I did not agree on this, and I was dying to jump on here at work and get some opinions on this.

We have a one-year-old who is allergic to milk products, used soy formula. His mother uses WIC. There was some problem with her not being able to get WIC vouchers for soy now. The mom didn't communicate this to the teacher.

She dropped him off this morning with no milk bottles, only water and jar food (yes, still eating jar food). She gave instructions to the teacher not to use his back-up formula, to only feed him the jar food and water. Around 11, kid starts crying for a bottle. He'd eaten some of his food, but wouldn't take the water and wanted his bottle that he usually gets right before his morning nap. The way we understood at first, was that his mom felt he is now allergic to his regular formula and didn't want it given to him.

My opinion was that she could not suddenly take him off of formula and not provide a substitute. Jar or even table food is not a substitute for milk at a year old. A one-year-old's diet is still about half milk, right? And we as his caregivers could not follow instructions like that without a doctor's backing. Especially because the child was hungry and needing a bottle.

My director felt that the child's diet is totally the parent's prerogative. And we did not have the right to demand a doctor's note.

When we found out that it was simply because she didn't get her WIC, I felt she should've bought the soy milk out of her own pocket! And if she did not want milk given to him, she needed to come and pick him up becaus he was hungrye

Director said just try and give him as much of his food as he would take ...to "try and feed him all day"...but of course he wouldn't take enough to cover for not getting a bottle.
And who had time for that?

Who's right here?
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cheerfuldom 09:43 PM 07-22-2011
you are absolutely right. How long is this mom going to leave her son in this condition with no milk option? the directer is trying to get you to deal with it and not cause trouble so they don't lose a kid. Its all about the money, lets just be honest on this one. There should be some standards as far as what food or milk is required in care. Do you have anything in your policies about that? Also, I don't allow parents to "experiment" with food or milk transitions on my time. Anything like that needs to be addressed at home first before tossing the kid into the center and leaving him with a situation that she doesn't know for sure will even work. Besides that, why is he eating jarred food anyway? Was mom really that hard up for cash that she didn't even have $5 for a half gallon of soy milk that would last for a few days? come on now.
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GretasLittleFriends 08:58 AM 07-23-2011
Do all of the parents provide everything for their children? Or just this mom since her child is allergic? Is it in your policies if they have a special diet that the parent need to provide the food?

If it were me, I'd would make sure I had what the kid needs to drink on hand. Right now I provide lactose free whole milk for my DD (age 1) who is lactose intolerant (was on soy formula). I provide regular whole milk for a DCG 1, and then gallons of regular 1% milk for everyone else in the house, both my family and dcks. Since I'm on the food program I am required to provide the necessary meals for each of the children in my care, if I am claiming them with the food program.
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familyschoolcare 09:51 AM 07-23-2011
In response to the mother not supplying the milk b/c wic did not give it to her and the mom not having the $5 to buy the milk. While it is sad to think about and we in the United States like to pretend that child do not go hungery they do everyday.

It is possible that the mom did not have $5 people that qualify for wic (was on the program myself) are living below or very close to the poverty line. I remember many times having to deiced on buy a gallon of milk for my children to a gallon of gas for my car. This may be an unpopular thing to say/hear but I always chose the gas b/c with out gas I could not get any where. meaning my children would not go to day care where they provided 2/3 of the meals they eat 5 days a week at no cost to me (was on cal works). Also, I would not have gotten to school and then never ever would have been able to get of a county assistance b/c I never ever was going t have marketable skills to get a job above min. wage.

My point please do not judge the mom. She may very will be doing the best she can and it is not her fault that they system in place to help her is failing.
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meganlavonnesmommy 02:54 PM 07-23-2011
I agree with the previous person. Maybe ask her if she needs help? If she truly can not afford the milk for the baby can you offer it thru her program? If the baby is over age one, it can be switched from formula to soy milk. And yes, a 1 year old still needs lots of milk for their daily diet.

Maybe you can print her an article on infant nutrition stating how much milk a baby needs, and give her a list of local food banks that she can get help at?

I would have called the mom when the baby was crying and explained that he wanted milk, and was there anything you could do/give him. If he was unable to be calmed down, I would have asked her to pick him up.
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MyAngels 03:05 PM 07-23-2011
Originally Posted by Registered-logged out:
Who's right here?
You are right, of course.

Mom should have let the director know of the lack of funds for milk. What was the mother's reasoning for not using the backup milk/formula on hand?

If I had been in the director's shoes, I would have purchased milk for the child out of my own pocket if need be.
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Unregistered 05:33 PM 07-23-2011
Im the OP. Let me clarify that not having enough money to buy milk was NOT the issue here. Im pretty sure she gets food stamps, too. This mom definitely had the money, plus there are at least two other adults living in her house that could have fronted her a few dollars to buy milk, if she truly didn't have it. Heck, she could even have told us that and WE would have bought it. She knows that.

She just didn't want to buy what she felt WIC should have been buying, and she wanted to try and wean him off his current formula, which like a PP said, she shouldn't have been doing on our time.

BTW...I googled "nutrition guidelines for 1 year olds" and I called three different numbers that were listed as child nutrition agencies...two were USDA agencies...got NO help. They all referred me to this hotline and that number, who then referred me to somewhere else and on and on. Where do you call to get nutrition info?
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meganlavonnesmommy 06:04 PM 07-23-2011
Not sure if these are what you are looking for, but they may help.

http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/Gettin...86_Article.jsp

http://www.superkidsnutrition.com/in...emenu1year.php
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PitterPatter 10:30 PM 07-23-2011
Originally Posted by Registered-logged out:
I logged out because this situation is totally indicative of my center and privacy issues...My director and I did not agree on this, and I was dying to jump on here at work and get some opinions on this.

We have a one-year-old who is allergic to milk products, used soy formula. His mother uses WIC. There was some problem with her not being able to get WIC vouchers for soy now. The mom didn't communicate this to the teacher.

She dropped him off this morning with no milk bottles, only water and jar food (yes, still eating jar food). She gave instructions to the teacher not to use his back-up formula, to only feed him the jar food and water. Around 11, kid starts crying for a bottle. He'd eaten some of his food, but wouldn't take the water and wanted his bottle that he usually gets right before his morning nap. The way we understood at first, was that his mom felt he is now allergic to his regular formula and didn't want it given to him.

My opinion was that she could not suddenly take him off of formula and not provide a substitute. Jar or even table food is not a substitute for milk at a year old. A one-year-old's diet is still about half milk, right? And we as his caregivers could not follow instructions like that without a doctor's backing. Especially because the child was hungry and needing a bottle.

My director felt that the child's diet is totally the parent's prerogative. And we did not have the right to demand a doctor's note.

When we found out that it was simply because she didn't get her WIC, I felt she should've bought the soy milk out of her own pocket! And if she did not want milk given to him, she needed to come and pick him up becaus he was hungrye

Director said just try and give him as much of his food as he would take ...to "try and feed him all day"...but of course he wouldn't take enough to cover for not getting a bottle.
And who had time for that?

Who's right here?
IMHO u are! Been there done that! Turned out my client lied to me and the state! Not going there but u are right!

Here I am on the food prog so I have to supply the special milk usually BUT when it's just WANTED and not needed medically then it's the parents place to provide. I paid a lot out of pocket before i found out and I am just stuck with it. If I was the director I would get some for the time being so the child doesnt go without. Them have Mom in for a sit down. I know centers here are elligible for the Food Program as well.
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anabel 06:23 AM 07-26-2011
There are plenty of other foods that provide the calcium gained from cows milk. For one day that year old child will not starve because of not having a bottle of milk.
The director is right. It is not daycare staffs place to decide whether or not a child really is allergic to a food product or not. Daycare staff should be following mums directions on diet. This child should be finishing with bottles anyway and moving onto beakers of fluid, with food taking up the place of milk to provide nutrients.
As someone who has lived with the pain of caregivers deciding they know best and making me drink cows milk, I would never never go against moms directions. Cows milk hurt like you would not believe if you are allergic to it.
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nannyde 07:24 AM 07-26-2011
Originally Posted by anabel:
There are plenty of other foods that provide the calcium gained from cows milk. For one day that year old child will not starve because of not having a bottle of milk.
The director is right. It is not daycare staffs place to decide whether or not a child really is allergic to a food product or not. Daycare staff should be following mums directions on diet. This child should be finishing with bottles anyway and moving onto beakers of fluid, with food taking up the place of milk to provide nutrients.
As someone who has lived with the pain of caregivers deciding they know best and making me drink cows milk, I would never never go against moms directions. Cows milk hurt like you would not believe if you are allergic to it.
Daycare staff should be following mums directions on diet.

So one day he's fine and the next he's allergic. The next day is the day she has to spend her money cuz she ran out of free.

That's a heck of a coincidence don't you think?

I do not have parents decide the kids diet. I know better than to do that. MOST of the time the parents are right on track but you will have parents who will make diet decisions based on their money and claim it is based on health. You have to have the experience to know the difference and the fortitude to say what you will and won't do.

This baby hasn't been transitioned off the bottle or onto another milk substitute. That happens over time and requires an actual plan. Saying no to the formula because you are upset you don't get free anymore is not a reason to take a kid off of the only milk they have been able to tolerate in the last few months.

Parents can't give you permission to do the wrong thing. They don't have the right to ask someone else to do the wrong thing. If they want to do the wrong thing then they need to have the kid on their clock and do the wrong thing themselves.

I'll bet ya a buck that the reason this mom didn't want the staff to use her spare can of formula that was at the day care is because she wanted to take that home to use herself once she realized she doesn't have free for her house. That's my guess.
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Tags:allergic, formula, milk, soy, voucher
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