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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>7 Month Old - Formula vs Baby Food
Chatter Box 09:25 PM 09-18-2013
So I have a child in my daycare that is 7.5 months old. I have been questioning his mother (I rarely see his father anymore) on when he will be starting baby food, oatmeal, ect... and she just keeps telling me that she's not concerned about it. There are days that I think he is fussier because he probably needs something with a little more sustenance than formula. He is a larger child...which also means he is getting what he needs I am sure but I just want to know is there anything that can come back on me if he is not eating regular foods by a certain time?

There has been twice since he started in I think April or May that I have had to ask her to bathe him because he smells. (He sweats profusely) to the point that my pack and play (with quilted sheets that are washed once a week) stinks. I have hosed it down and scrubbed it twice with bleach and lysol and it still smells.

Not to sound dramatic but I sincerely I feel like I need a shower every single time he has a dirty diaper. I have watched a lot of kids in my lifetime but never have I seen a child with diapers that messy, smelly and disgusting. He has always had very loose stools..which his doctor "insists is normal". I can smell it through a closed door down stairs a cross the house when he dirties his diaper during nap time.

When he was 18 lbs I had to ask her to stop bringing newborn diapers for him and then on top of it I had to ask them to stop bringing him wearing the new born diapers after the fact. He regularly has blow outs in diapers that are appropriate for his size and they gave me a hard time when I asked them to start getting him one size larger than his regular size (which works).

Several times they have brought him 3-4 days in a row wearing the same clothing. She has clothing in his bag I can change him into but I refuse to change his clothes every day for her since it is in my handbook they are supposed to bring him everyday in clean clothing.

It's honestly not that I feel by any means that they are neglecting him...a lot of these things are annoying yet a little trivial however I feel that they are just being very lazy about everything and I'm kind of tired of pushing them to parent. Not anything I feel is life threatening. He appears very healthy... he is very happy from what I can tell over all. Very smiley. He is very chunky...but he seems less satisfied. She has no interest what so ever in starting him on baby food and suggested that I just try to start feeding him regular food (if I want) but they aren't worried about it if not. They had no problem with that...which I obviously am not going to give him table food when he isn't even taking baby food.

So I guess I just want to know is when does this come back on me if I am letting them slide by on formula only? Is there a cut off I can talk to them about when I need to require more from them?

I don't understand it at all myself. I don't feel it is in his best interest to keep putting this off but I want to be able to say...this is what I am required to do.

They have an older child so they know the drill. There is just this weird feeling I get about them. I cannot put my finger on it but they are very short and aloof. They do not talk much. Been here about 6 months and I still barely know them. In and out... and don't really converse. They are nice but it's just this really weird. Like they don't care to know the person watching their child at all but at the same time she puts on this big show every time she leaves and every time she arrives about missing him. Which is great and I like seeing parents affectionate but it does feel like a show sometimes. Even my grandmother who is here frequently commented on how odd she feels around them... so I know it's not just me. Dad I have not seen except once in about 6 weeks. I don't know if they are together or not or what.

I have started keeping track of all the times he is coming in the same clothing. I've taken pictures of how dirty they are., ect.
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blandino 09:30 PM 09-18-2013
The baby food thing is completely fine to me. "Food before 1, is just for fun". It really isn't necessarily. The only way his stomach would be ready for something more substantial would be if he has eating cereal or baby food at home, and is used to it and then his formula isn't enough at daycare. If he is bigger he may be ready for a larger quantity of formula to keep his satisfied because that is all he is eating. So he might need bigger bottles, but not necessarily baby food.

It is also completely fine to skip baby food and go to whole foods. It is called "baby lead feeding", and is completely fine as long as the first foods are small and soft enough. Purees can be skipped entirely. I set the cut off, as to when children HAVE to be eating at 1, and then they get the regular food all the other kids are eating.

HOWEVER, the rest of your post terrifies me. That very much sounds like neglect to me. document. document. document.
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preschoolteacher 09:35 PM 09-18-2013
Why not go straight to table food? I did with my son at 6 months. You have to be very careful about it, but it's called Baby Led Weaning, and done right it can be very successful. My son was never spoon fed and never had traditional baby food. He ate mashed up table food with his fingers (fed himself) and slowly moved to more solid items as he was able to handle them.

Mash up a banana with a spoon. Smash some avocado. Maybe some cooked carrots. No big deal!

In a month or two, he will be able to handle much more. But like the previous poster said, food before one is just for fun...

The fact that he's frequently dirty and wearing clothes three days in a row stands out to me. I'd document this. However, it may just be that the parents don't have good parenting skills and don't have much money/time. I wouldn't jump to saying neglect.
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Chatter Box 09:36 PM 09-18-2013
Good to know... yes I have been documenting. I have tried making him the bigger bottles and he seems to waste the formula if I do it. I cannot make him drink the whole bottle but it's not lasting as long. I think a lot of it is the busy period where they don't want to sit still...they want to play. I have to continually sit there and make him finish the bottle.... and even then he won't... but then he has a melt down an hour later which a bottle will cure.
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Chatter Box 09:40 PM 09-18-2013
Well I guess the other thing is... I make meals for my kids. They all get the same things so I don't want to go out and supply different age groups with different stuff... they are supposed to bring their food until they are eating what the others do, sandwiches, ect. I don't want to get into running a restaurant which is why I have that written in my handbook. She doesn't want to supply the food...but I don't want to have to prepare completely different food for one random kid either. All the other parents bring their infants food.
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Chatter Box 09:41 PM 09-18-2013
And again... I wouldn't say it's neglect.... I just feel like they are being lazy. They seem very loving to him.
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blandino 09:47 PM 09-18-2013
Originally Posted by Chatter Box:
And again... I wouldn't say it's neglect.... I just feel like they are being lazy. They seem very loving to him.
I don't know, the same clothes 4 days in a row isn't exactly putting him in danger, but to me (assuming the clothes haven't been washed) that is nearing the line. Clearly, not dangerous - but also not responsible parenting.
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MotherNature 05:20 AM 09-19-2013
Originally Posted by blandino:
The baby food thing is completely fine to me. "Food before 1, is just for fun". It really isn't necessarily. The only way his stomach would be ready for something more substantial would be if he has eating cereal or baby food at home, and is used to it and then his formula isn't enough at daycare. If he is bigger he may be ready for a larger quantity of formula to keep his satisfied because that is all he is eating. So he might need bigger bottles, but not necessarily baby food.

It is also completely fine to skip baby food and go to whole foods. It is called "baby lead feeding", and is completely fine as long as the first foods are small and soft enough. Purees can be skipped entirely. I set the cut off, as to when children HAVE to be eating at 1, and then they get the regular food all the other kids are eating.

HOWEVER, the rest of your post terrifies me. That very much sounds like neglect to me. document. document. document.
Exactly what I was going to say.
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MotherNature 05:27 AM 09-19-2013
I had a parent whose son would come in the same outfit several days in a row, including socks. She didn't want to deal with his tantrums when she changed him. She never wanted to deal w/ any problem behaviour, ad is no longer here. However, their cats would occasionally pee on their clothes and there was a time or two he smelt vaguely of that. I've washed his clothes here b/c he got really dirty & I was doing my own laundry. I let her know I threw his clothes i since it had been several days in the same clothes. Her car was broken down & she didn't want to take him to the laundromat on the bus, etc.. She actually said, INSTEAD OF" thanks", "Oh, if I would have known you'd wash his clothes, I'd have sent him in his really dirty clothes. "
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Familycare71 05:49 AM 09-19-2013
Originally Posted by MotherNature:
I had a parent whose son would come in the same outfit several days in a row, including socks. She didn't want to deal with his tantrums when she changed him. She never wanted to deal w/ any problem behaviour, ad is no longer here. However, their cats would occasionally pee on their clothes and there was a time or two he smelt vaguely of that. I've washed his clothes here b/c he got really dirty & I was doing my own laundry. I let her know I threw his clothes i since it had been several days in the same clothes. Her car was broken down & she didn't want to take him to the laundromat on the bus, etc.. She actually said, INSTEAD OF" thanks", "Oh, if I would have known you'd wash his clothes, I'd have sent him in his really dirty clothes. "
No good deed goes unpunished!!
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Unregistered 06:50 AM 09-19-2013
I'll bet that money is tight and they can't afford baby food. I've had parents before that balked at buying larger size diapers because there are fewer diapers in a pack and they don't go as far.

You don't have to use the store bought baby food route. Use a baby food grinder or a baby bullet to prepare foods for him. You can serve him many of the same things everyone else eats. Only thing is, babies who start on table food usually can't stand jarred food if you try to get them to try it later on.
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itlw8 07:41 AM 09-19-2013
If on the food program 8 months is the golden age that you must start cereal.

Baby food is not needed. before commercial baby food what did parents do ? they smashed it with a fork. give the child small pieces or ripe banana and see what he does. or canned green beans.

She gave you permission so serve some soft finger foods.
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TwinKristi 11:04 AM 09-19-2013
Like the others, the food isn't a big deal but the rest is downright scary! Dirty clothes and stinky baby? The diapers being the wrong size and just not even wanting to bring foods? I would say you have 3 choices...

1) term the baby, 2) lay down the rules and demand they're followed or 3) ask them to pay an additional $5/wk towards food for him.

Explain you typically don't provide food for babies but if he's going to table foods then you can just feed him what you feed the other kids at an extra charge. That's only going to solve the food problem though. Not the diapers, bathing, clothing, etc. Look into baby-led weaning. I have a 12 month old DCB who's been eating table foods for the 2 months he's been here. Never spoon fed baby cereal or purées. Mom insists upon bringing her own foods. He eats bigger chunks of foods than I feel comfortable serving so I often cut them up a little more.
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Shell 12:16 PM 09-19-2013
18 lbs and still in newborn diapers

I agree with the suggestions of mashing up a banana, avocado, etc. I also give organic puffs broken into smaller pieces for the little ones as a quick little "snack" so they can sit at the table with the bigger kids. I think the little ones enjoy being part of the group, and eating with them, even if it isn't really necessary until age 1. Maybe the solid foods would help with the consistency of the poop, too.
The rest of the post is concerning to me, as well.
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itlw8 12:18 PM 09-19-2013
Originally Posted by Chatter Box:
Good to know... yes I have been documenting. I have tried making him the bigger bottles and he seems to waste the formula if I do it. I cannot make him drink the whole bottle but it's not lasting as long. I think a lot of it is the busy period where they don't want to sit still...they want to play. I have to continually sit there and make him finish the bottle.... and even then he won't... but then he has a melt down an hour later which a bottle will cure.
so how much does he drink and how much more are you trying to give him.

YOu said he goes off and plays so how are you feeding him the bottle? You hold him, sits in a high chair and feeds himself, you lay him on the floor with a bottle..

And how is what you do different from what happens at home.

I would serve him the part of the meal that he can eat. Ask mom to bring a box of rice or oat infant cereal. or go get one it is cheap.
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Cradle2crayons 10:51 PM 09-19-2013
I would simply do as the others have said.

I personally would go buy a box of baby rice or oatmeal cereal. I would start there. I would mash up a very ripe banana. Mash up green beans, mashed potatoes, mash up well cooked carrots.

Store bought baby foods are NOT necessary at all. And personally thi they are a huge waste of money,

If you have a blender you can blend what isn't mashable. Even spaghetti etc.

I would first start with more bland options to be sure he can tolerate it as well as rice cereal and move up from there.

Mom has given permission. Go for it.
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Play Care 10:28 AM 09-20-2013
While I agree that store bought baby foods are not necessary, I completely disagree with the "food before one is just for fun" mantra. Some babies need actual food before one. I had two big EBM fed babies that were screaming from hunger from 6 months - 8 months. The bottle was sucked down in seconds flat and they were screaming for more. It was a nightmare, and honestly I would probably term if it happened again. Thank the good Lord the pediatrician told mom she needed to start feeding the babies food. Up until that point she thought *I* just needed to learn how to help them soothe
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spinnymarie 01:18 PM 09-20-2013
With baby led weaning I was giving my kids the same things the rest of us were eating at 7 months... they don't eat much of it, and I wouldn't do it without permission, but it might help.
Anyone starting baby led weaning should read up on it though - it actually involves using BIGGER pieces of food, not smaller, as people normally do.
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kitykids3 02:43 PM 09-20-2013
Originally Posted by itlw8:
If on the food program 8 months is the golden age that you must start cereal.


She gave you permission so serve some soft finger foods.
I dislike serving baby food, the process, but if a parent hasn't by 8 months, I tell parents this. That Food Program requires babies having cereal by 8 months. Even if ur not on the food program, u can still use the excuse that is USDA recommendations.
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mamac 03:25 PM 09-20-2013
Originally Posted by Chatter Box:
Good to know... yes I have been documenting. I have tried making him the bigger bottles and he seems to waste the formula if I do it. I cannot make him drink the whole bottle but it's not lasting as long. I think a lot of it is the busy period where they don't want to sit still...they want to play. I have to continually sit there and make him finish the bottle.... and even then he won't... but then he has a melt down an hour later which a bottle will cure.
What size nipple does he have on his bottle? I just went through this with my 6 month old dcb. He wasn't finishing a bottle but was always wanting one. I switched him to a size 2 and now he finishes his bottle every time.
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Tags:formula, transitioning - breastmilk to babyfood
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