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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>How Do Parents Do It?
Josiegirl 03:14 AM 10-26-2018
Thinking about trust issues in choosing child care for their most precious little people in the whole world. I could never have done it back when I was a new mom. Tiny little beings with no voice. So many needs. The man following the dcp to the bedroom topic, how do we as providers, gain a parents' complete trust? I mean, as human beings, we all make mistakes from time to time. But when the news blasts so much negativity, how do we over come the dark shadows it casts? And trust is the most important thing when it comes to caring for others' children.

In that thread, providers say parents should only have to see where their child naps, during interview time. I'm not sure I agree. That wouldn't show if a provider is using safe sleep methods or hog-tying their infant. That's where trust comes into play.

How do they learn to trust us?? What can we do to help that process strengthen?
knoxmomof2 06:27 AM 10-26-2018
When I was pregnant with my first, I thought I would go back to work after leave and send my baby to daycare like "everyone did". Once he was born, I couldn't do it. I stayed home through the birth of second a year later, but she was a surprise and finances got really tight (we had to move in with my Husband's parents) so I caved and tried to go back to work because that gets old for everyone really fast.. Lol... We tried daycare, but that obviously got expensive compared to what I made. I honestly detached a bit from them because it just killed me to have to leave them every day. After a while, I just couldn't handle it anymore. I decided I would rather be poor than not be with my babies. We stayed with his parents longer and got back on our feet and into our own place again. I stayed home with them until they were 5 and 4, started homeschooling them, then worked overnight as a caregiver for Seniors in their homes (which allowed me to sleep when my clients slept) and eventually decided to do this.

So, in my short stint as a dcp, I used a center, detached from them and did what I felt I had to do as a parent. I was also young and did a lot of things because it was "just what you did". I had this deep desire to be at home with my children. I kept telling myself it would go away, but it didn't.

I think some "need" the time away (whatever that means), I think some tell themselves it's better for them socially to be around other kids all day.

I always tell my parents I have an open door policy, they are free to pop in at any time. Rarely does that happen. I think the same thing as you every time a story comes out. We recently had 2 toddlers drown at a provider's home here in my town and I wondered how hard it would be for me to fill spots, how critical would parents be during interviews, how would my current families react. Thankfully, nothing changed and I filled the spots with previous clients 😊 but man.....

So, I don't know how they do it and I wonder myself. But I think, like all of us, they take the gamble every day, they believe in the goodness of people, maybe they are a little arrogant in their abilities to read people or put a lot of trust in someone else's opinion on a provider and they think it won't happen to them.
Gemma 06:57 AM 10-26-2018
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
How do they learn to trust us?? What can we do to help that process strengthen?
I was one of the lucky ones, I didn't have to put my kids in childcare but I can imagine how hard that would have been, so I try keeping that in mind in the way I run my business.
When meeting new parents, I reassure them the door is ALWAYS open for them to drop by and check on their kids. I take pics throughout the day to show their child's activities and moods (and have paper trails ) that, the online reviews, and the warming up of their child start showing towards me is usually enough for patents to trust me.
Blackcat31 07:53 AM 10-26-2018
For me as a parent, my child attended child care on site while I was in college. The thought that I was right there and could pop in at any time gave me a sense of security. I also liked that there were staff there and not just one person. I felt that would lend to accountability a bit more. My child at the time was over a year old though.

With my second child I used in home family care but I knew the providers or at the very least knew someone that knew them etc... the perks of a small town in which I grew up so the comfort and trust was there for those reasons.

Now from the opposite perspective as a provider, I try hard to just have a conversation with parents. If I feel comfortable chatting with them and vice versa, it usually works well. Again, it's a small community where everyone knows everyone in some degree or another.

Trust definitely starts off as blind or on a feeling/instinct but it builds as the day to day interactions occur.

I tell all my parent that my door is open any time.
I encourage them to be involved and to talk with their kids and with me any time they have nay concerns, questions and comments. I think it's all we can really do.
Ariana 08:39 AM 10-26-2018
From my experience as an ECE in a Centre and doing placements in multiple centers I knew without a doubt I would not be putting my child in care. The only place I would consider would be where I had been currently working because I trusted the staff BUT the institutionalized feeling of centers and fluorescent lighting was just not where I wanted my kid to be, fighting her way through 15 other toddlers. There is so little interaction with adults in Centre care from my experience.

When I interview people I tell them about my experience and why I chose to stay home. It also helps a lot that I have a degree in the field with professional experience versus a stay at home mom trying to make an income (not knocking it just coming from my experience again and here in Canada we are not as regulated).

I also chat with parents quite a bit and share 15-20 pictures and videos every week showing their kids have fun which I think helps a LOT!
sharlan 09:01 AM 10-26-2018
To be perfectly honest, I dont know.

I know I did for 3 years before I nearly had a nervous breakdown. I worried about my kids at work and worried about work at home.

I was too trusting and my kids paid the price. 2 of the 3 could talk and it was years later before I started hearing all of the horror stories my kids experienced. It bothers me what my kids went through.

I guess that's why I'm so open with my parents, allowing them full access to my downstairs. I've always told my parents talk to your kids, ask about their day - what they played with, what and where they ate, etc. Any questions, come to me immediately.

Due to my kids' experiences, no one has ever watched my 4 grandkids other than me and their other grandmas. And one grandma hasn't watched my 11 yo since he was 6 months old. (He had a milk allergy and would come home from her house vomiting every time. Dd questioned what he ate. Oh, I only give him mashed potatoes. Made with MILK.)
sharlan 09:10 AM 10-26-2018
I must appreciate the parents who have trusted us enough to care for their children. Without them, we wouldn't be in business.
happymom 09:36 AM 10-26-2018
I never felt like they were not safe when I dropped them off at daycare. Even with the horror stories. I tend to trust people more easily though.

My kids are bigger now and can talk.

Since coming here I've learned to report things and feel more comfortable doing it.

But it is scary to trust, basically strangers, with your kids.
hwichlaz 11:01 AM 10-26-2018
I found a couple of places I trusted..but at the time I made $7.50 an hour, which was more than min wage at the time. I dispatched tow trucks. And child care was 3/4 of my check after taxes. We'd have been better off on welfare.

That's why I'm so pro-subsidy.
happymom 12:11 PM 10-26-2018
Originally Posted by hwichlaz:
That's why I'm so pro-subsidy.
me too
e.j. 12:50 PM 10-26-2018
When I had my first child, I worked full time and he went to day care at 8 weeks of age. I definitely had trust issues and didn't want to leave him with anyone because I had no real way of knowing how well (or poorly) he was being cared for. I used to say, "I would never think of handing over my wallet to a complete stranger but here I am handing over the most precious person in the world to me." Unfortunately, I couldn't afford not to work so I did it until my 2nd child came along and decided I couldn't do it anymore and opened my own day care.

I don't know how parents get to that point where they trust a total stranger to care for their kids but I'm glad they do! I wouldn't have been able to stay home with my own kids if it weren't for the parents who trusted me to watch theirs. I think some people are more trusting than others either by nature or by life experience. Also most of my parents have come to me through word of mouth so I think there's an element of trust based on the opinion of someone they know. I never expect parents to automatically trust me, though. I have the mindset that I have to earn their trust and act accordingly. I let them know they can always stop in without notice, I show them pictures of the kids taken during activities, give them daily sheets to show meals offered, diaper changes, nap times, etc. Other than that, I guess I just hope that as we get to know each other, the trust will build naturally.
Tags:parents - don't trust, trust, trusting too much
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