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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Is This What Daycare Used to Be Like?
mommyneedsadayoff 07:33 AM 08-29-2016
My mom owned a daycare center when I was growing up (80s and 90s). I found her old policy manual and was sort of shocked by how small it was. She charged an hourly fee per child and other than a few rules, there was very little else. It was tiny compared to some of the policy manuals I have seen these days. She didn't charge vacation days and they only paid when they came. I never remember my mom having kids when their parents were not working. Today, it seems to be a common thing. It made me think of a few things and maybe some of you, especially the veteran providers, can answer my questions.
Was it normal to have a large policy manual and to charge 52 weeks a year back int he 80s and 90s? If not, when did you change and start beefing up your policies and implementing the pay, regardless of stay policy? Do you think having to pay for daycare regardless of attendance is a main reason parents bring kids whether they work or not? What changed the most between doing care 20 years ago and now? Is it the parents? Is it the daycares and their price? Is it just the new societal norm to pay other people to care for your kid almost 24/7?
I just see so many posts of providers upset because the parents bring their kids to daycare everyday regardless of whether they need it or not and it made me wonder when it became the norm for kids to be in care so much. It never seemed that way at my mom's daycare growing up, so is it a relatively new thing? Thanks for your insight! (Oh, and maybe I should lay off the coffee..thinking too deep on this Monday morning!
)
Was it normal to have a large policy manual and to charge 52 weeks a year back int he 80s and 90s? If not, when did you change and start beefing up your policies and implementing the pay, regardless of stay policy? Do you think having to pay for daycare regardless of attendance is a main reason parents bring kids whether they work or not? What changed the most between doing care 20 years ago and now? Is it the parents? Is it the daycares and their price? Is it just the new societal norm to pay other people to care for your kid almost 24/7?
I just see so many posts of providers upset because the parents bring their kids to daycare everyday regardless of whether they need it or not and it made me wonder when it became the norm for kids to be in care so much. It never seemed that way at my mom's daycare growing up, so is it a relatively new thing? Thanks for your insight! (Oh, and maybe I should lay off the coffee..thinking too deep on this Monday morning!
)
Cat Herder 07:40 AM 08-29-2016
20+ years ago latch key was legal, neighbors helped one another, both parents working full-time wasn't as common, daycare was private, YMCA after school and summer camps were everywhere and kids hung out at the local library. 
These are hundreds of other reasons I can think of, but I only have 6 minutes before art begins...
These are hundreds of other reasons I can think of, but I only have 6 minutes before art begins...
Cat Herder 07:52 AM 08-29-2016
Book recommendation: A Mother's Job: The History of Daycare.
No intent to exclude fathers or male providers, just a very interesting history book.
I did not pick the title...
No intent to exclude fathers or male providers, just a very interesting history book.
I did not pick the title... Attached:
a mothers job.jpg (36.1 KB)
Pepperth 01:20 PM 08-29-2016
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
Book recommendation: A Mother's Job: The History of Daycare.
No intent to exclude fathers or male providers, just a very interesting history book. I did not pick the title...
Thanks for the book recommendation. I just bought it off amazon (like 30 minutes ago. can't wait for it to come in the mail now. ) I don't have anything to add to this discussion, having only been in daycare for a year and a half. However, I'm finding this discussion fascinating.Book recommendation: A Mother's Job: The History of Daycare.
No intent to exclude fathers or male providers, just a very interesting history book.
I did not pick the title...
childcaremom 01:54 PM 08-29-2016
I have not been doing daycare very long. My first stint was when my oldest was young (early 2000s) and now for about the past 6-7 (small closing period in there).
I think this is an interesting convo.
I have not noticed a trend as far as using full daycare hours vs keeping kids home when they are off. I've always dealt with both types of parents. All of my current families are involved parents and spend time with their children (due to my screening process, not trends). I guess my trend would be to increasingly screen for these types of families.
I see a LOT of involved fathers. No difference between then or now.
I'm not licensed so can't comment on any of that. However, I know that in my province, the trend seems to be moving towards having legally unlicensed dayhomes become registered with an agency. It isn't required. Yet.
As far as grandparents, I have seen a few parents who max out their daycare hours here and then max out grandma hours on the weekend, but have gotten better at my screening process so don't see that too much anymore. I do think that spending time with extended families is so important for all parties but I don't have any families now that take advantage of that. All of my current families have local family and grandparents usually take them one or two days a month. These are all younger grandparents who are retired, active and in good health.
I think this is an interesting convo.
I have not noticed a trend as far as using full daycare hours vs keeping kids home when they are off. I've always dealt with both types of parents. All of my current families are involved parents and spend time with their children (due to my screening process, not trends). I guess my trend would be to increasingly screen for these types of families.
I see a LOT of involved fathers. No difference between then or now.
I'm not licensed so can't comment on any of that. However, I know that in my province, the trend seems to be moving towards having legally unlicensed dayhomes become registered with an agency. It isn't required. Yet.
As far as grandparents, I have seen a few parents who max out their daycare hours here and then max out grandma hours on the weekend, but have gotten better at my screening process so don't see that too much anymore. I do think that spending time with extended families is so important for all parties but I don't have any families now that take advantage of that. All of my current families have local family and grandparents usually take them one or two days a month. These are all younger grandparents who are retired, active and in good health.
Mike 08:31 PM 08-29-2016
I can't give input from the daycare side of things, but have definitely seen changes in parenting over the years.
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
Book recommendation: A Mother's Job: The History of Daycare.
No intent to exclude fathers or male providers, just a very interesting history book. I did not pick the title...
That's ok. Back then, fathers didn't do as much with the kids because their main job was to be the breadwinner, and back then, male daycare was pretty much non-existent. I first got interested in the idea of doing daycare about 9 years ago, and just in the last 9 years I can see huge changes in the acceptance of that idea.Book recommendation: A Mother's Job: The History of Daycare.
No intent to exclude fathers or male providers, just a very interesting history book.
I did not pick the title...
spedmommy4 07:52 AM 08-29-2016
It's been more than 20 years but I know I only went to daycare when my parents worked. I also periodically went to my grandmothers house to visit instead of going to daycare. I am not sure if my parents had to pay or not.
MunchkinWrangler 07:54 AM 08-29-2016
I'm new in this but I was home with Grandma. Daycare was the norm for some kids but my mother, who had children back in the 80's said that she was contracted hours, she had a half for travel. But the daycare only served peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, my mom had to supply milk, and breakfast was not served. Snack usually was a graham cracker split in half and that was it.
The centers back then in my mom's opinion were terrible so she didn't stay long at one. I wasn't a daycare kid but my sister was. My mom was also a single mother. My grandma also watched kids in the neighborhood for working moms. There was one family that was a two income household.
I think society has changed. Both mom and dad have to work in most situations. I have a family member who doesn't need to work but watches children for friends and family and charges what I charge but she isn't licensed so she is free to do what she wants. She takes the kids out places and such.
The centers back then in my mom's opinion were terrible so she didn't stay long at one. I wasn't a daycare kid but my sister was. My mom was also a single mother. My grandma also watched kids in the neighborhood for working moms. There was one family that was a two income household.
I think society has changed. Both mom and dad have to work in most situations. I have a family member who doesn't need to work but watches children for friends and family and charges what I charge but she isn't licensed so she is free to do what she wants. She takes the kids out places and such.
Blackcat31 08:01 AM 08-29-2016
Child care has changed to meet and fill the needs of current parenting trends/methods.
In the early 80ies/90ies both parents didn't HAVE to work.
Priorities within a family were much different than they are today.
The portrait of the typical "American family" seems to change with each generation.
In the early 80ies/90ies both parents didn't HAVE to work.
Priorities within a family were much different than they are today.
The portrait of the typical "American family" seems to change with each generation.
Baby Beluga 08:13 AM 08-29-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Child care has changed to meet and fill the needs of current parenting trends/methods.
In the early 80ies/90ies both parents didn't HAVE to work.
Priorities within a family were much different than they are today.
The portrait of the typical "American family" seems to change with each generation.
Child care has changed to meet and fill the needs of current parenting trends/methods.
In the early 80ies/90ies both parents didn't HAVE to work.
Priorities within a family were much different than they are today.
The portrait of the typical "American family" seems to change with each generation.
I also remember it being frowned upon if you did more things without your children than with your children. Now, the norm in my age group (30's) seems to be to do very little things with your children leaving grandparents, providers, etc to do most of the child rearing for you.
Unregistered 08:20 AM 08-29-2016
I started in the 80s. There were always parents who brought kids no matter what. Always parents who paid late and picked up late. Always some golden parents too.
52 weeks paid was common here when I started, as well as pay whether or not child attended. I think this is and was dependant on your area.
Much less licensing regulation, and providers could do much more of what parents requested regarding food, sleep, etc. Only 2 forms required for enrollment, so much less paperwork to keep track of. Licensing was a support system for providers then, as opposed to now when it us much more adversarial. There was no charge for licensing then.
Food program paperwork was simpler. You didn't list kids at each meal, just the number of kids. The food program sponsored low cost food "give aways" of subsidy cheese and butter, providers paid a small handling cost. Yogurt was not creditable.
In general, providers were thought of as valued service providers to the families and the community. A much higher percentage of children were enrolled in family care than center care, and centers were thought of as producing children with poorer social skills and behavior. Because of that, centers began to try to emulate family care by breaking children into small groups with consistent caregivers and a designated "home" area within the large room that the center generally was back then.
52 weeks paid was common here when I started, as well as pay whether or not child attended. I think this is and was dependant on your area.
Much less licensing regulation, and providers could do much more of what parents requested regarding food, sleep, etc. Only 2 forms required for enrollment, so much less paperwork to keep track of. Licensing was a support system for providers then, as opposed to now when it us much more adversarial. There was no charge for licensing then.
Food program paperwork was simpler. You didn't list kids at each meal, just the number of kids. The food program sponsored low cost food "give aways" of subsidy cheese and butter, providers paid a small handling cost. Yogurt was not creditable.
In general, providers were thought of as valued service providers to the families and the community. A much higher percentage of children were enrolled in family care than center care, and centers were thought of as producing children with poorer social skills and behavior. Because of that, centers began to try to emulate family care by breaking children into small groups with consistent caregivers and a designated "home" area within the large room that the center generally was back then.
mommyneedsadayoff 08:51 AM 08-29-2016
Originally Posted by MunchkinWrangler:
I'm new in this but I was home with Grandma. Daycare was the norm for some kids but my mother, who had children back in the 80's said that she was contracted hours, she had a half for travel. But the daycare only served peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, my mom had to supply milk, and breakfast was not served. Snack usually was a graham cracker split in half and that was it.
The centers back then in my mom's opinion were terrible so she didn't stay long at one. I wasn't a daycare kid but my sister was. My mom was also a single mother. My grandma also watched kids in the neighborhood for working moms. There was one family that was a two income household.
I think society has changed. Both mom and dad have to work in most situations. I have a family member who doesn't need to work but watches children for friends and family and charges what I charge but she isn't licensed so she is free to do what she wants. She takes the kids out places and such.
Oddly enough, I also went to my grandma's quite frequently too. Even though my mom had a large daycare, somehow grandma's super small trailer was way more fun than a huge building full of kids and toysI'm new in this but I was home with Grandma. Daycare was the norm for some kids but my mother, who had children back in the 80's said that she was contracted hours, she had a half for travel. But the daycare only served peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, my mom had to supply milk, and breakfast was not served. Snack usually was a graham cracker split in half and that was it.
The centers back then in my mom's opinion were terrible so she didn't stay long at one. I wasn't a daycare kid but my sister was. My mom was also a single mother. My grandma also watched kids in the neighborhood for working moms. There was one family that was a two income household.
I think society has changed. Both mom and dad have to work in most situations. I have a family member who doesn't need to work but watches children for friends and family and charges what I charge but she isn't licensed so she is free to do what she wants. She takes the kids out places and such.
Of course, she also spoiled us and let us eat whatever we want, so that may have influenced us always wanting to go there I kind of forgot how important my grandma was in my early years. She did so much and nowadays, I don't see that as much. If my own mom was alive, I feel she would have been the same, but my kids' grandparents on my husband's side are so much different. They will baby sit when we ask, but they definitely do not spend near as much time with them. They are busy with their own lives and enjoying their golden years, so I have no issues with it, just never really realized how much grandparents played a roll in my life. My husband went to his grandma's every day too, but his parents are definitely not people we would count on for even part time child care.
EntropyControlSpecialist 10:22 AM 08-29-2016
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff:
Oddly enough, I also went to my grandma's quite frequently too. Even though my mom had a large daycare, somehow grandma's super small trailer was way more fun than a huge building full of kids and toys Of course, she also spoiled us and let us eat whatever we want, so that may have influenced us always wanting to go there
I kind of forgot how important my grandma was in my early years. She did so much and nowadays, I don't see that as much. If my own mom was alive, I feel she would have been the same, but my kids' grandparents on my husband's side are so much different. They will baby sit when we ask, but they definitely do not spend near as much time with them. They are busy with their own lives and enjoying their golden years, so I have no issues with it, just never really realized how much grandparents played a roll in my life. My husband went to his grandma's every day too, but his parents are definitely not people we would count on for even part time child care.
That IS interesting now that I think about it over here, too!Oddly enough, I also went to my grandma's quite frequently too. Even though my mom had a large daycare, somehow grandma's super small trailer was way more fun than a huge building full of kids and toys
Of course, she also spoiled us and let us eat whatever we want, so that may have influenced us always wanting to go there I kind of forgot how important my grandma was in my early years. She did so much and nowadays, I don't see that as much. If my own mom was alive, I feel she would have been the same, but my kids' grandparents on my husband's side are so much different. They will baby sit when we ask, but they definitely do not spend near as much time with them. They are busy with their own lives and enjoying their golden years, so I have no issues with it, just never really realized how much grandparents played a roll in my life. My husband went to his grandma's every day too, but his parents are definitely not people we would count on for even part time child care.
My Grandparents had a bedroom for the grandkids, a playroom, etc. We went over there often and slept over.
My daughter, 3 tomorrow, just had her first sleepover at my parent's home. She was awake for 4 hours of it and I picked up the next morning. They don't ever request to have her/do something alone with her so I just go to their home to spend time together every weekend.
They love it but it is much different than how my grandparents were, both kids, when I was growing up. Fascinating! Wonder what that's about. We only have one set of friends who doesn't pay a baby-sitter multiple evenings each week AND send their child to their grandparents every weekend/multiple weekends a month. We are the weird ones.
MunchkinWrangler 10:28 AM 08-29-2016
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
That IS interesting now that I think about it over here, too!
My Grandparents had a bedroom for the grandkids, a playroom, etc. We went over there often and slept over.
My daughter, 3 tomorrow, just had her first sleepover at my parent's home. She was awake for 4 hours of it and I picked up the next morning. They don't ever request to have her/do something alone with her so I just go to their home to spend time together every weekend. They love it but it is much different than how my grandparents were, both kids, when I was growing up. Fascinating! Wonder what that's about.
We only have one set of friends who doesn't pay a baby-sitter multiple evenings each week AND send their child to their grandparents every weekend/multiple weekends a month. We are the weird ones.
Here's my theory. The younger generation does not have any respect for the older generation. Because things have changed regarding how children sleep, how their fed, and other drastic thing that have changed, this younger generation doesn't believe that grandparents are capable of raising their children.That IS interesting now that I think about it over here, too!
My Grandparents had a bedroom for the grandkids, a playroom, etc. We went over there often and slept over.
My daughter, 3 tomorrow, just had her first sleepover at my parent's home. She was awake for 4 hours of it and I picked up the next morning. They don't ever request to have her/do something alone with her so I just go to their home to spend time together every weekend.
They love it but it is much different than how my grandparents were, both kids, when I was growing up. Fascinating! Wonder what that's about. We only have one set of friends who doesn't pay a baby-sitter multiple evenings each week AND send their child to their grandparents every weekend/multiple weekends a month. We are the weird ones.
Also, I think a lot of us came from working mothers who are still working today. The generation before had moms who stayed at home and raised the family and either worked at night or weekends. I think people also were closer to their communities than they are now.
Blackcat31 08:18 AM 08-29-2016
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff:
Was it normal to have a large policy manual and to charge 52 weeks a year back in the 80s and 90s?
I've always charged a full year. The only difference is I used to allow families up to 2 weeks for their own vacations. I did not require them to pay. Was it normal to have a large policy manual and to charge 52 weeks a year back in the 80s and 90s?
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff:
If not, when did you change and start beefing up your policies and implementing the pay, regardless of stay policy?
Somewhere around the 15 yr mark I eliminated that free off time. I made that change because kids were attending longer hours than in previous years and I hadn't raised my rates in just as many years. It was small move towards a more consistent income. If not, when did you change and start beefing up your policies and implementing the pay, regardless of stay policy?
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff:
Do you think having to pay for daycare regardless of attendance is a main reason parents bring kids whether they work or not?
No. Not for my current clients. Past clients were mostly state assisted families so cost wasn't really a factor for them and the clientele I serve now all seem to expect payment year round (without discounts or credits) as a norm and don't ever question it. Do you think having to pay for daycare regardless of attendance is a main reason parents bring kids whether they work or not?
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff:
What changed the most between doing care 20 years ago and now? Is it the parents?
The expectations from families in regards to what services I provide. Bathing, dressing, medicating, etc...there no longer seems to be a list of parent responsibilities. Parents all seem to think that I will do things that should be a parents job. Parents used to take pride in doing those things themselves. What changed the most between doing care 20 years ago and now? Is it the parents?
Dressing your child appropriately, feeding them well, keeping them clean and healthy as well as providing a good consistent routine at home seemed to be the defining aspects to what makes a good parent.
Now its the number of "likes" on Facebook, the brand of clothing displayed on their tushies and the number of extra curricular activities the child is enrolled in before age 2.
The absence of hand's on and/or active participating fathers also plays a huge role in the changes as well.
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff:
Is it the daycares and their price?
Nope. My state has not had an increase in child care reimbursement rates since 2006. The difference between the rate I charged when I first opened and what I charge now is pocket change. Is it the daycares and their price?
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff:
Is it just the new societal norm to pay other people to care for your kid almost 24/7?
I think it's the societal norm to not really be responsible for anything...including yourself. Look at ANY message board or facebook group and 99.9% of all replies, posts or comments contain some sort of excuse as to why someone can, can't, did, didn't, won't or will. Is it just the new societal norm to pay other people to care for your kid almost 24/7?
Very little attention or praise seems to be provided for those who can.
Now we reward, everyone. even if they can't.
....because we wouldn't want anyone to be offended or upset.
mommyneedsadayoff 09:00 AM 08-29-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I've always charged a full year. The only difference is I used to allow families up to 2 weeks for their own vacations. I did not require them to pay.
Somewhere around the 15 yr mark I eliminated that free off time. I made that change because kids were attending longer hours than in previous years and I hadn't raised my rates in just as many years. It was small move towards a more consistent income.
Why did they start coming longer hours? Was it due to longer work hours or commuting time?
No. Not for my current clients. Past clients were mostly state assisted families so cost wasn't really a factor for them and the clientele I serve now all seem to expect payment year round (without discounts or credits) as a norm and don't ever question it.
The expectations from families in regards to what services I provide. Bathing, dressing, medicating, etc...there no longer seems to be a list of parent responsibilities. Parents all seem to think that I will do things that should be a parents job. Parents used to take pride in doing those things themselves.
Dressing your child appropriately, feeding them well, keeping them clean and healthy as well as providing a good consistent routine at home seemed to be the defining aspects to what makes a good parent.
Now its the number of "likes" on Facebook, the brand of clothing displayed on their tushies and the number of extra curricular activities the child is enrolled in before age 2.
The absence of hand's on and/or active participating fathers also plays a huge role in the changes as well.
This so true and I never even thought about it! The time before and after daycare has changed so much. No more sit down breakfasts or suppers together. It is kind of like everyone is trying to get by with the minimum. I have to feed the kid, but rather than sit down for a home cooked meal, we get take out and eat in the car. I have to bathe them, but once a week is good enough. I have to bring them fed to daycare, but a pop tart in the car should do.
Nope. My state has not had an increase in child care reimbursement rates since 2006. The difference between the rate I charged when I first opened and what I charge now is pocket change.
I think it's the societal norm to not really be responsible for anything...including yourself. Look at ANY message board or facebook group and 99.9% of all replies, posts or comments contain some sort of excuse as to why someone can, can't, did, didn't, won't or will.
Very little attention or praise seems to be provided for those who can.
Now we reward, everyone. even if they can't.
....because we wouldn't want anyone to be offended or upset.
I completely agree! The responsibility factor is so "old school" nowadaysI've always charged a full year. The only difference is I used to allow families up to 2 weeks for their own vacations. I did not require them to pay.
Somewhere around the 15 yr mark I eliminated that free off time. I made that change because kids were attending longer hours than in previous years and I hadn't raised my rates in just as many years. It was small move towards a more consistent income.
Why did they start coming longer hours? Was it due to longer work hours or commuting time?
No. Not for my current clients. Past clients were mostly state assisted families so cost wasn't really a factor for them and the clientele I serve now all seem to expect payment year round (without discounts or credits) as a norm and don't ever question it.
The expectations from families in regards to what services I provide. Bathing, dressing, medicating, etc...there no longer seems to be a list of parent responsibilities. Parents all seem to think that I will do things that should be a parents job. Parents used to take pride in doing those things themselves.
Dressing your child appropriately, feeding them well, keeping them clean and healthy as well as providing a good consistent routine at home seemed to be the defining aspects to what makes a good parent.
Now its the number of "likes" on Facebook, the brand of clothing displayed on their tushies and the number of extra curricular activities the child is enrolled in before age 2.
The absence of hand's on and/or active participating fathers also plays a huge role in the changes as well.
This so true and I never even thought about it! The time before and after daycare has changed so much. No more sit down breakfasts or suppers together. It is kind of like everyone is trying to get by with the minimum. I have to feed the kid, but rather than sit down for a home cooked meal, we get take out and eat in the car. I have to bathe them, but once a week is good enough. I have to bring them fed to daycare, but a pop tart in the car should do.
Nope. My state has not had an increase in child care reimbursement rates since 2006. The difference between the rate I charged when I first opened and what I charge now is pocket change.
I think it's the societal norm to not really be responsible for anything...including yourself. Look at ANY message board or facebook group and 99.9% of all replies, posts or comments contain some sort of excuse as to why someone can, can't, did, didn't, won't or will.
Very little attention or praise seems to be provided for those who can.
Now we reward, everyone. even if they can't.
....because we wouldn't want anyone to be offended or upset.
Thank you for the insight!
Oh and I asked a few more questions above in blue
Blackcat31 09:16 AM 08-29-2016
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff:
Why did they start coming longer hours? Was it due to longer work hours or commuting time?
I think parents started figuring out that they could leave their child all day and no one judged them. Or atleast not as much as they used to...kwim? Why did they start coming longer hours? Was it due to longer work hours or commuting time?
Once one parent started being a daycare dumper and that parent spread the word to others, ("hey Janie your daycare is open 10 hours a day, why not just leave them until closing time? I do.")
Now Janie and her friend Suzie are hitting the beach together without kids and other moms are going "Hey! Where are your kids?"
You know... kind of a monkey see, monkey do type thing.
I honestly do not believe it has anything to do with costs or having to pay. I believe it has everything to do with societal acceptance. As long as someone else is saying it's okay, then it's okay.
We, as a society no longer hold ourselves accountable according to personal moral or ethical guidelines but instead use peer acceptance as a method of influencing and condoning our actions. (in general...not meant as a inclusive statement for everyone).
Annalee 09:27 AM 08-29-2016
I also feel daycare is different today in expectations for children and parents. When I started 20 plus years ago, children were taught/expected to do what ms. xxx said and to be respectful to ms. xxx. the parents also respected ms. xxx. Now, I feel parents are the ones needing coddled which trickles down to the children. I have said before that I use more of my sociology/psychology education than my early childhood education. BC is right on the money with her post!!!!!!!!
BC is right on the money with her post!!!!!!!!
daycarediva 09:48 AM 08-29-2016
I have all of my dc kids from contracted drop off to contracted pick up, regardless of where the parents are. As others have said, it is not only socially acceptable, it is encouraged. I never remember parents back in the 80's-90's having mom's day off, or spa days, or needing this level of "me" time.
We parent our kids very differently than this generation. I always tell my kids. "In here, it's 1950. Out there, it's 20XX." Responsibility, respect, household chores you aren't paid for, dinner nightly, breakfast cooked/eaten together. etc. Also, we live well within our means so that we don't both HAVE to work. Dh or I are always with our kids. They were in daycare part time when my oldest two were young, but it didn't last long. It felt unnatural to be away from them so much. We changed work schedules to work opposite shifts so the kids were home.
ETA- It saddens me that these children don't have regular family lives like my children do. On weekends they have sitters and go to grandparents homes. It is rare for both parents to spend the evening/weekend with their child/ren.
We parent our kids very differently than this generation. I always tell my kids. "In here, it's 1950. Out there, it's 20XX." Responsibility, respect, household chores you aren't paid for, dinner nightly, breakfast cooked/eaten together. etc. Also, we live well within our means so that we don't both HAVE to work. Dh or I are always with our kids. They were in daycare part time when my oldest two were young, but it didn't last long. It felt unnatural to be away from them so much. We changed work schedules to work opposite shifts so the kids were home.
ETA- It saddens me that these children don't have regular family lives like my children do. On weekends they have sitters and go to grandparents homes. It is rare for both parents to spend the evening/weekend with their child/ren.
sharlan 10:53 AM 08-29-2016
I started 32 years ago. I had no contracts and no parent handbook. I didn't need one. Parents paid on time, picked up on time, and kept their kids home when they were home.
I've only had a contract for 5 years.
I've only had a contract for 5 years.
Cat Herder 09:43 AM 08-29-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
1. The only difference is I used to allow families up to 2 weeks for their own vacations. I did not require them to pay.
2. The expectations from families in regards to what services I provide. Bathing, dressing, medicating, etc...there no longer seems to be a list of parent responsibilities.
3. The absence of hand's on and/or active participating fathers also plays a huge role in the changes as well.
4. I think it's the societal norm to not really be responsible for anything...including yourself. Look at ANY message board or facebook group and 99.9% of all replies, posts or comments contain some sort of excuse as to why someone can, can't, did, didn't, won't or will. Very little attention or praise seems to be provided for those who can. Now we reward, everyone. even if they can't..... because we wouldn't want anyone to be offended or upset.
*I am dropping my PC "Leadership" filter for a bit. Yes, my inspector is often on this forum, but I am entitled to a personal opinion.* 1. The only difference is I used to allow families up to 2 weeks for their own vacations. I did not require them to pay.
2. The expectations from families in regards to what services I provide. Bathing, dressing, medicating, etc...there no longer seems to be a list of parent responsibilities.
3. The absence of hand's on and/or active participating fathers also plays a huge role in the changes as well.
4. I think it's the societal norm to not really be responsible for anything...including yourself. Look at ANY message board or facebook group and 99.9% of all replies, posts or comments contain some sort of excuse as to why someone can, can't, did, didn't, won't or will. Very little attention or praise seems to be provided for those who can. Now we reward, everyone. even if they can't..... because we wouldn't want anyone to be offended or upset.
1. I still give two free weeks in hopes of someone taking me up on it. I want them to spend two weeks per year bonding with their kids, as a couple, remembering what their goals for parenthood used to be before "I-Lifestyle" hit. Rarely happens now.
2. Very true. What feels worse is that the State TV advertising budget actually supports their expectations. That all they have to do is check the star rating, dump the kid and wait for graduation. No worries if you can't afford it, someone else will pay. Don't work?, no judgement, you deserve me time. Forget that you are capable of raising kids, yourself. Standardized birth to 18 is better, it prepares them for life better than you can.
Young Mom's believe this. 3. This one is happily the one positive change I am seeing. It may not be happening everywhere, but I see more Dad's than Mom's now. Pick-ups, Drop-Offs, school functions, at the park, doctors office, etc. Traditionally, in the south, it was uncommon. It is quickly becoming the norm.
4. It almost feels the opposite. Anger at the ones succeeding at their parenting/marriage goals. I have been called Stepford more than a few times for my personal choices. It is ridiculous to me. I am married with three kids, on purpose. I work from home, on purpose. It should be clean, my kids should be well fed, my laundry should be done, my kids and marriage should come first. How is this something I do vindictively to some other woman? My Husband also works 50+ hours a week to earn his half of the family expenses. Just because I choose to work from home does not mean he should be expected to maintain a daycare when he comes home from work. Frankly, I want some couple time at that point, if the kids are doing their own thing. If the kids need him, that trumps; for now anyway.
IDK, perspective I guess.
Blackcat31 09:49 AM 08-29-2016
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
*I am dropping my PC "Leadership" filter for a bit. Yes, my inspector is often on this forum, but I am entitled to a personal opinion.*
1. I still give two free weeks in hopes of someone taking me up on it. I want them to spend two weeks per year bonding with their kids, as a couple, remembering what their goals for parenthood used to be before "I-Lifestyle" hit. Rarely happens now.
2. Very true. What feels worse is that the State TV advertising budget actually supports their expectations. That all they have to do is check the star rating, dump the kid and wait for graduation. No worries if you can't afford it, someone else will pay. Don't work?, no judgement, you deserve me time. Forget that you are capable of raising kids, yourself. Standardized birth to 18 is better, it prepares them for life better than you can. Young Mom's believe this.
3. This one is happily the one positive change I am seeing. It may not be happening everywhere, but I see more Dad's than Mom's now. Pick-ups, Drop-Offs, school functions, at the park, doctors office, etc. Traditionally, in the south, it was uncommon. It is quickly becoming the norm.
4. It almost feels the opposite. Anger at the ones succeeding at their parenting/marriage goals. I have been called Stepford more than a few times for my personal choices. It is ridiculous to me. I am married with three kids, on purpose. I work from home, on purpose. It should be clean, my kids should be well fed, my laundry should be done, my kids and marriage should come first. How is this something I do vindictively to some other woman? My Husband also works 50+ hours a week to earn his half of the family expenses. Just because I choose to work from home does not mean he should be expected to maintain a daycare when he comes home from work. Frankly, I want some couple time at that point, if the kids are doing their own thing. If the kids need him, that trumps; for now anyway. IDK, perspective I guess.
I like you so much better when you are filter-less. *I am dropping my PC "Leadership" filter for a bit. Yes, my inspector is often on this forum, but I am entitled to a personal opinion.*
1. I still give two free weeks in hopes of someone taking me up on it. I want them to spend two weeks per year bonding with their kids, as a couple, remembering what their goals for parenthood used to be before "I-Lifestyle" hit. Rarely happens now.
2. Very true. What feels worse is that the State TV advertising budget actually supports their expectations. That all they have to do is check the star rating, dump the kid and wait for graduation. No worries if you can't afford it, someone else will pay. Don't work?, no judgement, you deserve me time. Forget that you are capable of raising kids, yourself. Standardized birth to 18 is better, it prepares them for life better than you can.
Young Mom's believe this. 3. This one is happily the one positive change I am seeing. It may not be happening everywhere, but I see more Dad's than Mom's now. Pick-ups, Drop-Offs, school functions, at the park, doctors office, etc. Traditionally, in the south, it was uncommon. It is quickly becoming the norm.
4. It almost feels the opposite. Anger at the ones succeeding at their parenting/marriage goals. I have been called Stepford more than a few times for my personal choices. It is ridiculous to me. I am married with three kids, on purpose. I work from home, on purpose. It should be clean, my kids should be well fed, my laundry should be done, my kids and marriage should come first. How is this something I do vindictively to some other woman? My Husband also works 50+ hours a week to earn his half of the family expenses. Just because I choose to work from home does not mean he should be expected to maintain a daycare when he comes home from work. Frankly, I want some couple time at that point, if the kids are doing their own thing. If the kids need him, that trumps; for now anyway.
IDK, perspective I guess.
Cat Herder 09:57 AM 08-29-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I like you so much better when you are filter-less.
Me, too. I like you so much better when you are filter-less.
...but my heirloom glass cabinet cost me some points.
I have to buy three. Eh, maybe I will just submit an article to the paper instead.
laundrymom 11:09 AM 08-29-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I like you so much better when you are filter-less.
I second this!!!!!I like you so much better when you are filter-less.
Country Kids 08:51 AM 08-29-2016
I started in June 1997 and charged $1.50 an hour for several years.
I didn't charge if they weren't here or I took a day off. I believe I was open on alot more holidays-Veterans Day, MLK Day, Presidents Day and maybe another one.
No parent handbook, a one page contract and a very small registration form.
I do have one of my income forms from back then and what looked like so much money then is a very small amount now.
I didn't charge if they weren't here or I took a day off. I believe I was open on alot more holidays-Veterans Day, MLK Day, Presidents Day and maybe another one.
No parent handbook, a one page contract and a very small registration form.
I do have one of my income forms from back then and what looked like so much money then is a very small amount now.
mommyneedsadayoff 09:02 AM 08-29-2016
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
I started in June 1997 and charged $1.50 an hour for several years.
I didn't charge if they weren't here or I took a day off. I believe I was open on alot more holidays-Veterans Day, MLK Day, Presidents Day and maybe another one.
No parent handbook, a one page contract and a very small registration form.
I do have one of my income forms from back then and what looked like so much money then is a very small amount now.
What made you change it up? Were you losing money or feeling taken advantage of or just wanted to a more stable income/business life?I started in June 1997 and charged $1.50 an hour for several years.
I didn't charge if they weren't here or I took a day off. I believe I was open on alot more holidays-Veterans Day, MLK Day, Presidents Day and maybe another one.
No parent handbook, a one page contract and a very small registration form.
I do have one of my income forms from back then and what looked like so much money then is a very small amount now.
MunchkinWrangler 10:14 AM 08-29-2016
Yes, I think the big change is no one does much with their kids. I have had two families that took vacations for themselves and didn't include their children. They both have yet to use the free vacation week I offer them.
Just today a particular goodbye was rough on a dcg, then come to find out she was at Grandma's all weekend, all the while dcm is asking why she doesn't want to be at my house today.
Just today a particular goodbye was rough on a dcg, then come to find out she was at Grandma's all weekend, all the while dcm is asking why she doesn't want to be at my house today.
Country Kids 02:52 PM 08-29-2016
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff:
What made you change it up? Were you losing money or feeling taken advantage of or just wanted to a more stable income/business life?
Times and parents have made it change! No way would i be able to make any money on $1.50 an hour and just when they were here. What made you change it up? Were you losing money or feeling taken advantage of or just wanted to a more stable income/business life?
I'm not a babysitter and have put much time into trainings and my program to become a profession. For this handbooks, better contracts, longer registration forms have been needed.
Not many people last longer than 5-10 years in this business and the ones that do are in it for the long haul and will have the professionalism that you don't see in the stay at home moms wanting a playmate for their child.
Dardy 09:58 AM 08-31-2016
I have been doing daycare for nearly 30 yrs and it's true the manuals were a few pages. Government regulations have run many home daycares out of business. I did not used to charge for time off, but I was losing money. I would have planned meals and then the child would not show up. I now charge for absent days and they pay 1/2 rate if 2 wk notice is given of vaca. I get a 2 wk paid vaca each year. I have taught preschool for the same amt of time and I do it year round. I start at age 1 and used to charge additional tuition(eliminated) but recently raised my rates to cover costs. The parents do not want their child to miss a lesson and neither do I. I use a state approved curriculum and have never had an opening in my business go for more than 24hrs.
crogers 12:11 PM 08-31-2016
Yes, things have changed so much in early education. After 29 years in this field, I see a desperate need for quality care. The policy manual has been filled with more and more policies due to the constant increase of regulations from government organizations. This had made it pretty much impossible for home providers to survive. The days of opening up your home out of love for children and to fill a big need for working parents are over. We hear so many negative stories of in-home care, we never hear of the positives Then there are folks out there just waiting to sue somebody over anything. Yes, this business has grown! About charging tuition regardless of attendance: We have 34 teachers in our center, we offer them benefits: a monthly salary, paid vacation and sick leave, insurance options, and a pension plan. We have to charge our parents a monthly tuition rate that is due no matter their attendance, in order to keep our staff. Otherwise, the turnover would be terrible. I know we are fortunate to be able to offer these benefits. Other centers cannot even begin to consider offering benefits until they can count on a consistent flow of income they can budget for. If you treat your staff with respect, get to know them and care about them, pay them as much as your budget allows, the rewards will pay off.
As a parent myself, I know being able to leave my children for a few hours with another person that I trusted made me a better Mom!
Also, we need to think of this profession as, just that, a profession! We are professionals, or should work to be! The term "daycare" has a negative connotation to it; we care for the child, not for the day. We should think of ourselves as Early Childhood Education Centers. Set your expectations high!
I would love to find a copy of the book mentioned. I might need to lay off the coffee myself! Thanks for your thoughts!
As a parent myself, I know being able to leave my children for a few hours with another person that I trusted made me a better Mom!
Also, we need to think of this profession as, just that, a profession! We are professionals, or should work to be! The term "daycare" has a negative connotation to it; we care for the child, not for the day. We should think of ourselves as Early Childhood Education Centers. Set your expectations high!
I would love to find a copy of the book mentioned. I might need to lay off the coffee myself! Thanks for your thoughts!
Cat Herder 12:27 PM 08-31-2016
Originally Posted by crogers:
I would love to find a copy of the book mentioned.
Check amazon under "other sellers" Many still have it under $15. For some reason many have hiked them up to over $100 since yesterday. I would love to find a copy of the book mentioned.
mommyneedsadayoff 12:54 PM 08-31-2016
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
Check amazon under "other sellers" Many still have it under $15. For some reason many have hiked them up to over $100 since yesterday.
They better give you a piece of that pie for your promotion efforts!Check amazon under "other sellers" Many still have it under $15. For some reason many have hiked them up to over $100 since yesterday.
Cat Herder 01:32 PM 08-31-2016
Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff:
They better give you a piece of that pie for your promotion efforts!
They better give you a piece of that pie for your promotion efforts!
Nah, I really just liked it. My other current fav's are:Einstein Never Used Flashcards: Hirsh-Pasek, Golinkoff, and Eyer
Finding your smile again: Johnson
Standardized Childhood: Fuller
Mindset: Dweck
Febby 05:08 PM 08-31-2016
Growing up in the 90's, my mom was a SAHM. However, I did go to daycare for a half day once per week because there was a home daycare next door and my mom watched the daycare lady's kids after school. I'm pretty sure my mom spent my daycare time taking a nap and catching up on cleaning most of the time.
I also remember being dropped off with my grandparents for most of a day around Christmas and my birthday.
I've always worked in centers and I haven't even been in child care for that many years, but I know I didn't used to always still have the majority of my class during the last 30 minutes of the day. I looked at my attendance sheets earlier today and most of my kids are dropped off between 6:30 and 7:15 AM but don't leave until 5:30-6:00 PM. That's a long time for those kids.
I also remember being dropped off with my grandparents for most of a day around Christmas and my birthday.
I've always worked in centers and I haven't even been in child care for that many years, but I know I didn't used to always still have the majority of my class during the last 30 minutes of the day. I looked at my attendance sheets earlier today and most of my kids are dropped off between 6:30 and 7:15 AM but don't leave until 5:30-6:00 PM. That's a long time for those kids.