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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Just Don't Belong, Feeling Down And Out
daycare 02:27 PM 03-14-2017
I was really hoping that 2017 was going to be a better year for me. Well for everyone. I have been going through some really rough times and I really feel I don't have anyone to turn to.

Most of my issues are not so much really directly related to my childcare children or families, but to the stress of QRIS and it's demands.

I live about 45 minutes PLUS from the training center, ( I say plus, because the traffic here is NUTS)which I am expected to be at several times a month. On average about once a week, plus two weekends a month. I have given up so much of my personal time, family time and have spent a lot of money getting myself to these trainings.

The expectations of our QRIS are very overwhelming. From the demands of having to arrange an annual health exam for each of my children that is conducted here to making certain that I also train my staff, I just can't find the time. We have to conduct 21 professional development hours each year, take daily observation reports with evidence, manage immunizations, ASQ and ASQSE, CESFEL and so on. I have the motivation, but no time for myself or my family. I had surgery back in november to have my thyroid removed. Had to go back to work the next day because one of my employees called in sick. I have not really fully recovered, but am chugging along each day.

My county admits to rolling out QRIS incorrectly and scored everyone prior to even getting to take classes of any kind. Super unfair, but it is what it is.

I just had an employee quit, but on a positive side, I feel it was for the best. The employee seemed to have a lot going on in their personal life that was affecting their ability to be here, so it all worked out in the end. BUT that is putting me under stress as now I can't attend my classes.

I have to move again, tax season is here, my best friend is fighting breast cancer and I just feel like I am sinking.

Worst of it all. One of my past employees stole my credit information, identity and hacked my ALL of my email accounts. They been stealing from me for years right under my nose. OMG I can't believe that I didn't even know for all of this time. That employee has not worked here for about a year, but I am just heart broken because I put all of my faith in trust in them, I even conducted their wedding ceremony as an officiate. I can't believe that someone could do this. I am ill with anger regarding it.

sorry for the long vent. I need to know I can make it through this QRIS. Please tell me that I am not the only one who has had to go through all of this crazy trainings and stress and that it can be done.
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Josiegirl 03:00 PM 03-14-2017
Oh My I sincerely wish I could do something IRL to help you. Dealing with just QRIS is enough to bring anxiety levels up but wow, you've taken a world on your shoulders. One day at a time, just one day. I'd be super mad at your former employee too but you can't control what others do(and there are some might nasty people out there, evidently one worked for you). You can only control how you feel about the whole situation....somehow you need to let it go. Maybe talk to a therapist about it?
Have you ever thought of switching careers? It sounds like stress abounds everywhere, if you have to move, dealing with a ridiculous amount of trainings and meetings....
Maybe you should sit down and discuss it all with your family and come up with solutions. You need to start putting yourself first in this equation. And it sounds like you're way down the totem pole.
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Blackcat31 03:04 PM 03-14-2017


You know you can PM me ANY time!
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daycare 03:08 PM 03-14-2017
Thanks ladies. I am not a crier, but I feel like maybe a good cry would help me feel better.

I do love what I do for a living. WELL until those 4 letters made way into my life. QRIS.....it should be called HELL.

BC...you are too sweet and have been a huge part of my success over the years. Thank you for always being here. I really appreciate it.
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Mike 03:13 PM 03-14-2017
Sounds to me like you need to give yourself at least a couple days vacation time to unwind, relax, and then think.
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spedmommy4 03:52 PM 03-14-2017
Daycare, feel free to message me too. I am not actively running a business but, I was QRIS tier 5 in CA and I am pretty familiar with the process.

I also have a lot of resources I am happy to share if you need anything.

Just a tip from my experience, if the QRIS people can connect you with other providers in your area who are also going through QRIS certification, it's really helpful. I went through with a cohort and we supported each other through the process. It was so helpful!
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daycare 04:16 PM 03-14-2017
Originally Posted by spedmommy4:
Daycare, feel free to message me too. I am not actively running a business but, I was QRIS tier 5 in CA and I am pretty familiar with the process.

I also have a lot of resources I am happy to share if you need anything.

Just a tip from my experience, if the QRIS people can connect you with other providers in your area who are also going through QRIS certification, it's really helpful. I went through with a cohort and we supported each other through the process. It was so helpful!
OMG you are a saint....I will PM you...I do know that all 8 counties in CA are not conducting QRIS the same, hopefully some what similar. OR hoping you are in my county....
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DaveA 04:29 PM 03-14-2017


Sounds like more than anything you just need some time for you.
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Annalee 04:36 PM 03-14-2017
Originally Posted by daycare:
I was really hoping that 2017 was going to be a better year for me. Well for everyone. I have been going through some really rough times and I really feel I don't have anyone to turn to.

Most of my issues are not so much really directly related to my childcare children or families, but to the stress of QRIS and it's demands.

I live about 45 minutes PLUS from the training center, ( I say plus, because the traffic here is NUTS)which I am expected to be at several times a month. On average about once a week, plus two weekends a month. I have given up so much of my personal time, family time and have spent a lot of money getting myself to these trainings.

The expectations of our QRIS are very overwhelming. From the demands of having to arrange an annual health exam for each of my children that is conducted here to making certain that I also train my staff, I just can't find the time. We have to conduct 21 professional development hours each year, take daily observation reports with evidence, manage immunizations, ASQ and ASQSE, CESFEL and so on. I have the motivation, but no time for myself or my family. I had surgery back in november to have my thyroid removed. Had to go back to work the next day because one of my employees called in sick. I have not really fully recovered, but am chugging along each day.

My county admits to rolling out QRIS incorrectly and scored everyone prior to even getting to take classes of any kind. Super unfair, but it is what it is.

I just had an employee quit, but on a positive side, I feel it was for the best. The employee seemed to have a lot going on in their personal life that was affecting their ability to be here, so it all worked out in the end. BUT that is putting me under stress as now I can't attend my classes.

I have to move again, tax season is here, my best friend is fighting breast cancer and I just feel like I am sinking.

Worst of it all. One of my past employees stole my credit information, identity and hacked my ALL of my email accounts. They been stealing from me for years right under my nose. OMG I can't believe that I didn't even know for all of this time. That employee has not worked here for about a year, but I am just heart broken because I put all of my faith in trust in them, I even conducted their wedding ceremony as an officiate. I can't believe that someone could do this. I am ill with anger regarding it.

sorry for the long vent. I need to know I can make it through this QRIS. Please tell me that I am not the only one who has had to go through all of this crazy trainings and stress and that it can be done.
QRIS in my state is over-the-top stressful as well. For what it is worth, I struggle now because on the 15th year, I and many other providers have completed every program offered.....infant/toddler credentials, strengthening family credentials, received Associates Degrees, CDA's, Bachelor's Degrees, even Master Degrees, on & on & on.....like I have stated before we are down to 642 FCC providers and we started 15 years ago with over 3000. I had to learn to say "NO, I will just take a HIT in that area, I CANNOT, nor will I do that". QRIS, in my opinion, is set up for providers to fail because they keep adding on. My family, friends and church have been left behind while I climbed the ladder. Now that I am at the top of the ladder, there is no where to go and QRIS keeps getting more unrealistic for providers. There were and are programs that said they would help providers here and they did as long as it helped them keep their job. Make sense? Let it go as much as you can!

Then, put yourself, your family, your friend, and those you love first.....do not let QRIS dictate/define you. I made that mistake and it causes me to become angry when I think about it.....I could cry writing this post because I know EXACTY how you feel. Best wishes to you!
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Baby Beluga 04:47 PM 03-14-2017

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daycare 05:03 PM 03-14-2017
Originally Posted by Annalee:
QRIS in my state is over-the-top stressful as well. For what it is worth, I struggle now because on the 15th year, I and many other providers have completed every program offered.....infant/toddler credentials, strengthening family credentials, received Associates Degrees, CDA's, Bachelor's Degrees, even Master Degrees, on & on & on.....like I have stated before we are down to 642 FCC providers and we started 15 years ago with over 3000. I had to learn to say "NO, I will just take a HIT in that area, I CANNOT, nor will I do that". QRIS, in my opinion, is set up for providers to fail because they keep adding on. My family, friends and church have been left behind while I climbed the ladder. Now that I am at the top of the ladder, there is no where to go and QRIS keeps getting more unrealistic for providers. There were and are programs that said they would help providers here and they did as long as it helped them keep their job. Make sense? Let it go as much as you can!

Then, put yourself, your family, your friend, and those you love first.....do not let QRIS dictate/define you. I made that mistake and it causes me to become angry when I think about it.....I could cry writing this post because I know EXACTY how you feel. Best wishes to you!
Wow wee 15 years. Good lord. Bless your forever aching soul.
Thank you for letting me know I'm not alone in this. I am so far from all of the other participants that I don't have any support. So it's a real struggle to do this. I always feel left out, unsupported and just always trying to figure Hingis out on my own, never knowing if I'm doing the right thing.
All of you are right. I need to hop the next plane out. Lol. Wish I could.
I was supposed to go to Japan this year but do to me moving that just got cancelled.
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Annalee 05:14 PM 03-14-2017
Originally Posted by daycare:
Wow wee 15 years. Good lord. Bless your forever aching soul.
Thank you for letting me know I'm not alone in this. I am so far from all of the other participants that I don't have any support. So it's a real struggle to do this. I always feel left out, unsupported and just always trying to figure Hingis out on my own, never knowing if I'm doing the right thing.
All of you are right. I need to hop the next plane out. Lol. Wish I could.
I was supposed to go to Japan this year but do to me moving that just got cancelled.
Hang in there! Just remember it is OK to not be at the top of the ladder.....around here NO clients even know what QRIS is.....they know about licensing but not QRIS. It is separate entities here and, to be honest, neither side cares for the other Hope things look up for you
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Pepperth 05:33 PM 03-14-2017
No advice, just hugs.
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daycare 09:08 PM 03-14-2017
Thank you. Just threw some weights around at the gym to let some stress out. Feels a little better, really had some alone time to think for two hours.

I'm thinking a little more positive, also helps I'm not feeling alone in all of this. Thank you everyone.
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Cat Herder 04:32 AM 03-15-2017
Originally Posted by Annalee:
to be honest, neither side cares for the other
You said a mouthful, there.

QRIS takes the joy out of childcare. I hope things look up for you, soon
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Annalee 04:44 AM 03-15-2017
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
You said a mouthful, there.

QRIS takes the joy out of childcare. I hope things look up for you, soon
QRIS, in the end, will suck the life right out of you if you let it. Actually, it sucks the life out of every child care entity that is attempting to guide/lead. There is definitely no love loss when it come to QRIS....that is why they stand alone but wreak so much havoc.
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Gemma 10:33 AM 03-15-2017

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nanglgrl 11:25 AM 03-15-2017
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
You said a mouthful, there.

QRIS takes the joy out of childcare. I hope things look up for you, soon
They are planning on changing the QRS level requirements in my state. The first way it was set up was great, attainable and did increase quality. The new way is more and more training, paperwork, time outside of work having conferences with parents, training and doing unnecessary paperwork. They sent us a survey to fill out about new requirements and I was 100% truthful about what I thought about the new requirements. IMO a number one necessity for quality care is that the provider has "me" time or "family time" but they seem to have forgotten about that along with the fact that quality care means being dependable (can't be that if I'm always closing for trainings or hosting people from QRS to be assessed during working hours when I need to be watching and interacting with children. I know a few home providers who are rated 5 stars in my state. I subscribe to their business pages and they either close a ton for different QRS activities or have a sub working for them. So basically the provider who has done all these things to be rated so highly is workingwith the children less and less but hey they have 5 stars!
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Annalee 11:29 AM 03-15-2017
Originally Posted by nanglgrl:
They are planning on changing the QRS level requirements in my state. The first way it was set up was great, attainable and did increase quality. The new way is more and more training, paperwork, time outside of work having conferences with parents, training and doing unnecessary paperwork. They sent us a survey to fill out about new requirements and I was 100% truthful about what I thought about the new requirements. IMO a number one necessity for quality care is that the provider has "me" time or "family time" but they seem to have forgotten about that along with the fact that quality care means being dependable (can't be that if I'm always closing for trainings or hosting people from QRS to be assessed during working hours when I need to be watching and interacting with children. I know a few home providers who are rated 5 stars in my state. I subscribe to their business pages and they either close a ton for different QRS activities or have a sub working for them. So basically the provider who has done all these things to be rated so highly is workingwith the children less and less but hey they have 5 stars!
Providers here have been this EXACT route....it just keeps getting piled on so the provider will fail, in my opinion. It becomes a game and the provider decides if she will PLAY. Most providers give up their license and the state actually thinks these people are not keeping kids when, in fact, they are running their programs just like before without the QRIS chaos. AND YES providers here have met with legislators but have gotten nowhere and have GIVEN UP! NO sense in trying. After 15 years it is here to stay till all FCC QUITS!
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momofsix 11:58 AM 03-15-2017
I'm so sorry you're going through this. So far stars is voluntary in my state. I'll probably retire when it becomes mandatory.
Sometimes a big change can be something that helps-so maybe the move will help a little bit for you? I have no advice-just hoping things look up for you
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Cat Herder 12:13 PM 03-15-2017
Originally Posted by Annalee:
AND YES providers here have met with legislators but have gotten nowhere and have GIVEN UP! NO sense in trying. After 15 years it is here to stay till all FCC QUITS!
http://e-news.edweek.org/ct/92396435...608A43EFE40F:r

Have you seen this Will this have any effect on QRIS?


*Whether "some or all of the functions of an agency, a component, or a program are appropriate for the federal government or would be better left to state or local governments or to the private sector through free enterprise";

*Whether "some or all of the functions of an agency, a component, or a program are redundant, including with those of another agency, component, or program";

*Whether "certain administrative capabilities necessary for operating an agency, a component, or a program are redundant with those of another agency, component, or program";

*Whether the "costs of continuing to operate an agency, a component, or a program are justified by the public benefits it provides"; and "The costs of shutting down or merging agencies, components, or programs, including the costs of addressing the equities of affected agency staff."


Hang on Daycare, maybe we still have a fighting chance. "Dear Mrs. Betsy, "
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Blackcat31 12:43 PM 03-15-2017
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
http://e-news.edweek.org/ct/92396435...608A43EFE40F:r

Have you seen this Will this have any effect on QRIS?


*Whether "some or all of the functions of an agency, a component, or a program are appropriate for the federal government or would be better left to state or local governments or to the private sector through free enterprise";

*Whether "some or all of the functions of an agency, a component, or a program are redundant, including with those of another agency, component, or program";

*Whether "certain administrative capabilities necessary for operating an agency, a component, or a program are redundant with those of another agency, component, or program";

*Whether the "costs of continuing to operate an agency, a component, or a program are justified by the public benefits it provides"; and "The costs of shutting down or merging agencies, components, or programs, including the costs of addressing the equities of affected agency staff."


Hang on Daycare, maybe we still have a fighting chance. "Dear Mrs. Betsy, "
From my understanding, QRIS is a federal program that originates in the Health and Human Services department and NOT the Dept of Education. (makes perfect sense right?)
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Cat Herder 01:10 PM 03-15-2017
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
From my understanding, QRIS is a federal program that originates in the Health and Human Services department and NOT the Dept of Education. (makes perfect sense right?)
Ugh. And all this *drama* started when we were moved from under the Health and Human Services umbrella TO the Department of Education umbrella, here.
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Annalee 02:08 PM 03-15-2017
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
http://e-news.edweek.org/ct/92396435...608A43EFE40F:r

Have you seen this Will this have any effect on QRIS?


*Whether "some or all of the functions of an agency, a component, or a program are appropriate for the federal government or would be better left to state or local governments or to the private sector through free enterprise";

*Whether "some or all of the functions of an agency, a component, or a program are redundant, including with those of another agency, component, or program";

*Whether "certain administrative capabilities necessary for operating an agency, a component, or a program are redundant with those of another agency, component, or program";

*Whether the "costs of continuing to operate an agency, a component, or a program are justified by the public benefits it provides"; and "The costs of shutting down or merging agencies, components, or programs, including the costs of addressing the equities of affected agency staff."


Hang on Daycare, maybe we still have a fighting chance. "Dear Mrs. Betsy, "
The state has thought about putting us under Dept of Education before....but never came about. I really think they don't know what to do with us and that is the problem
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slpender 07:16 PM 03-15-2017
Originally Posted by nanglgrl:
They are planning on changing the QRS level requirements in my state. The first way it was set up was great, attainable and did increase quality. The new way is more and more training, paperwork, time outside of work having conferences with parents, training and doing unnecessary paperwork. They sent us a survey to fill out about new requirements and I was 100% truthful about what I thought about the new requirements. IMO a number one necessity for quality care is that the provider has "me" time or "family time" but they seem to have forgotten about that along with the fact that quality care means being dependable (can't be that if I'm always closing for trainings or hosting people from QRS to be assessed during working hours when I need to be watching and interacting with children. I know a few home providers who are rated 5 stars in my state. I subscribe to their business pages and they either close a ton for different QRS activities or have a sub working for them. So basically the provider who has done all these things to be rated so highly is workingwith the children less and less but hey they have 5 stars!
I'm in Iowa also this and all the crazy DHS rules have burnt me out. I am now unregistered with 5 children under 2 and I'm the happiest I have been. I have great parents (except the screamer family I just terminated) and none of them care that I am unregistered. We play and do things on our schedule and it is fun. My stress level has be reduced so much.
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Annalee 07:23 PM 03-15-2017
Originally Posted by slpender:
I'm in Iowa also this and all the crazy DHS rules have burnt me out. I am now unregistered with 5 children under 2 and I'm the happiest I have been. I have great parents (except the screamer family I just terminated) and none of them care that I am unregistered. We play and do things on our schedule and it is fun. My stress level has be reduced so much.
Licensing is fine for the most part here...we get 4-6 annual visits from them depending on your stars.....the problem comes in when health/environment, fire or food program have different rules than licensing. Health/env comes twice annually, and fire once....fp comes every 3 months so we have someone in our daycare monthly pretty much. All have to be passed annually to relicense for another year. These entities are tolerable and attainable.

BUT QRIS is a whole different ballgame....it stands on its own. QRIS is what burnt and continues to burn providers out here.
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daycare 09:12 PM 03-15-2017
Originally Posted by Annalee:
The state has thought about putting us under Dept of Education before....but never came about. I really think they don't know what to do with us and that is the problem
My understanding and someone please correct me if I am wrong. But California is under the department of education.
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daycare 09:15 PM 03-15-2017
Originally Posted by Cat Herder:
http://e-news.edweek.org/ct/92396435...608A43EFE40F:r

Have you seen this Will this have any effect on QRIS?


*Whether "some or all of the functions of an agency, a component, or a program are appropriate for the federal government or would be better left to state or local governments or to the private sector through free enterprise";

*Whether "some or all of the functions of an agency, a component, or a program are redundant, including with those of another agency, component, or program";

*Whether "certain administrative capabilities necessary for operating an agency, a component, or a program are redundant with those of another agency, component, or program";

*Whether the "costs of continuing to operate an agency, a component, or a program are justified by the public benefits it provides"; and "The costs of shutting down or merging agencies, components, or programs, including the costs of addressing the equities of affected agency staff."


Hang on Daycare, maybe we still have a fighting chance. "Dear Mrs. Betsy, "
Great article. I will keep my fingers crossed
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Annalee 04:46 AM 03-16-2017
Originally Posted by daycare:
My understanding and someone please correct me if I am wrong. But California is under the department of education.
We are under the Dept of Human Services.
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Blackcat31 06:19 AM 03-16-2017
Originally Posted by daycare:
My understanding and someone please correct me if I am wrong. But California is under the department of education.
Child Care might be under Department of Education in CA but QRIS is a federal program that is embedded in the Department of Health and Human Services.... in CA, the Dept of Ed might over see it and implement it but it still comes from the dept of HHS at the federal level.

Like the food program...it's federal too but each state manages it in whatever department regulates child care.

I'm in MN and child care is "governed" under Depart of HHS here too.
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daycare 07:06 AM 03-16-2017
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Child Care might be under Department of Education in CA but QRIS is a federal program that is embedded in the Department of Health and Human Services.... in CA, the Dept of Ed might over see it and implement it but it still comes from the dept of HHS at the federal level.

Like the food program...it's federal too but each state manages it in whatever department regulates child care.

I'm in MN and child care is "governed" under Depart of HHS here too.
Got it. All I know is that I have no LOVE for QRIS. I have a meeting today. It's an hour away, the meeting is only two hours from 10am to 12. So that means over 4 hours for me that I will be gone and having to pay my employees more money to run the show.
Trying not to be negative. Ugh.
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CityGarden 09:44 AM 03-16-2017
Daycare I keep reading this thread but don't truly have anything to offer more than a virtual (((hug))).

If I recall correct you have moved 2-3 time with the daycare. It seems moving with a daycare can be challenging and costly since the two properties have to overlap (in terms of rent) for licensing to approve the other location without a break in the daycare. Have you considered buying a home or just opening a daycare/preschool not in-home?

Also I have been wondering and have tried to search for the answer to no luck.... but why are you (and other CA providers) killing yourselves for QRIS? From what I can tell from some of your past post is they "may" make it mandatory..... but wouldn't they then give ample notice and I don't see anywhere from the state that says it may be required or even really encouraged. Can you point me in the right direction? I am in Southern California and both the providers I hear speak of it (you being one of them) are in Northern California but if this rolls out as a requirement to be licensed it would be state wide.
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Annalee 10:07 AM 03-16-2017
Originally Posted by CityGarden:
Daycare I keep reading this thread but don't truly have anything to offer more than a virtual (((hug))).

If I recall correct you have moved 2-3 time with the daycare. It seems moving with a daycare can be challenging and costly since the two properties have to overlap (in terms of rent) for licensing to approve the other location without a break in the daycare. Have you considered buying a home or just opening a daycare/preschool not in-home?

Also I have been wondering and have tried to search for the answer to no luck.... but why are you (and other CA providers) killing yourselves for QRIS? From what I can tell from some of your past post is they "may" make it mandatory..... but wouldn't they then give ample notice and I don't see anywhere from the state that says it may be required or even really encouraged. Can you point me in the right direction? I am in Southern California and both the providers I hear speak of it (you being one of them) are in Northern California but if this rolls out as a requirement to be licensed it would be state wide.
Not sure about California, but in Tennessee QRIS came in very subtle about 15 years ago. They made it sound so wonderful, gave money for materials, educations, free weekend trainings, so on and so on.....then it was like "BOOM".....all these crazy expectations....we were first governed by FCCERS, but have moved on to FCCERS-R. Now the ones still in child care (it is mandated/law here that all child cares complete QRIS Assessment annually) have reached high plateaus of education but are still dictated by QRIS...meaning we can have all the education in the world and all the materials for a great daycare but still be defined by the 4-6 hour assessment each year......ALL of the report card hinges on that score..... The whole system is hogwash and there is money for education still but not materials....who wants it anyway...daycare is NOT fun anymore....We were told it would be voluntary in the beginning, but their idea of voluntary is for providers to still complete the QRIS assessment annually. ???? Sadly, I feel QRIS will stick around so ??
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Tags:burnt out, overwhelmed, qris, trump qris
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