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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Am I making this into too big of an issue?
Indoorvoice 08:44 AM 07-20-2015
I have a dcb with a rash that requires ointment 3x per day. It's in my policies that I will only give meds if it is absolutely unavoidable at daycare. Dcm wanted me to apply all 3 times and I told her she could just do it before drop off, when he got home and before bed and then we wouldn't have to worry about him getting it at my house. She fought this and I gave in and said I would do it once day. I have to track this on a med sheet for licensing already, and i have told her she is welcome to look at it anytime. Now she wants me to write it in his notebook too that I send home daily that tracks all his diapers/bottles/naps because she wants to be sure I'm actually giving it to him. Obviously it wouldn't be that big of a deal to just write it down, but I feel like she is micromanaging me. And really, if she is so worried, she could do all the applications herself. Just wondering what you all would do - my pride is getting in the way of me being able to think clearly.
Blackcat31 08:50 AM 07-20-2015
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
I have a dcb with a rash that requires ointment 3x per day. It's in my policies that I will only give meds if it is absolutely unavoidable at daycare. Dcm wanted me to apply all 3 times and I told her she could just do it before drop off, when he got home and before bed and then we wouldn't have to worry about him getting it at my house. She fought this and I gave in and said I would do it once day. I have to track this on a med sheet for licensing already, and i have told her she is welcome to look at it anytime. Now she wants me to write it in his notebook too that I send home daily that tracks all his diapers/bottles/naps because she wants to be sure I'm actually giving it to him. Obviously it wouldn't be that big of a deal to just write it down, but I feel like she is micromanaging me. And really, if she is so worried, she could do all the applications herself. Just wondering what you all would do - my pride is getting in the way of me being able to think clearly.
Ugh! You are nicer than me. I would never have given in. I have a dcb with a rash that requires ointment 3x per day. It's in my policies that I will only give meds if it is absolutely unavoidable at daycare. Dcm wanted me to apply all 3 times and I told her she could just do it before drop off, when he got home and before bed and then we wouldn't have to worry about him getting it at my house. She fought this and I gave in and said I would do it once day. I have to track this on a med sheet for licensing already, and i have told her she is welcome to look at it anytime. Now she wants me to write it in his notebook too that I send home daily that tracks all his diapers/bottles/naps because she wants to be sure I'm actually giving it to him. Obviously it wouldn't be that big of a deal to just write it down, but I feel like she is micromanaging me. And really, if she is so worried, she could do all the applications herself. Just wondering what you all would do - my pride is getting in the way of me being able to think clearly.
I don't do meds here of ANY kind.
She IS micromanaging you.
I would tell her you will gladly do what she is asking but it will cost her.
You'll have to hire an office aide to do everything she is asking.
This statement: "because she wants to be sure I'm actually giving it to him" alone would have had me packing up his stuff and saying goodbye.
A cornerstone of my program is trust between parent and provider. I would be MORE than offended that she made that remark and at that point, I would have said "Well, I AM busy with the other kids I have in care so great, you'll do it then since I can't be trusted. Solves your issue then..."
Personally, I'd rethink this and tell her nope, you are NOT willing to do it at all because the ONE time you might forget will be a huge dramatic event obviously so since she has such little trust in you, she best do it herself.
KidGrind 08:52 AM 07-20-2015
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Ugh! You are nicer than me. I would never have given in.
I don't do meds here of ANY kind.
She IS micromanaging you.
I would tell her you will gladly do what she is asking but it will cost her.
You'll have to hire an office aide to do everything she is asking.
This statement: "because she wants to be sure I'm actually giving it to him" alone would have had me packing up his stuff and saying goodbye.
A cornerstone of my program is trust between parent and provider. I would be MORE than offended that she made that remark and at that point, I would have said "Well, I AM busy with the other kids I have in care so great, you'll do it then since I can't be trusted. Solves your issue then..."
Personally, I'd rethink this and tell her nope, you are NOT willing to do it at all because the ONE time you might forget will be a huge dramatic event obviously so since she has such little trust in you, she best do it herself.
Get out of my head Blackcat!Ugh! You are nicer than me. I would never have given in.
I don't do meds here of ANY kind.
She IS micromanaging you.
I would tell her you will gladly do what she is asking but it will cost her.
You'll have to hire an office aide to do everything she is asking.
This statement: "because she wants to be sure I'm actually giving it to him" alone would have had me packing up his stuff and saying goodbye.
A cornerstone of my program is trust between parent and provider. I would be MORE than offended that she made that remark and at that point, I would have said "Well, I AM busy with the other kids I have in care so great, you'll do it then since I can't be trusted. Solves your issue then..."
Personally, I'd rethink this and tell her nope, you are NOT willing to do it at all because the ONE time you might forget will be a huge dramatic event obviously so since she has such little trust in you, she best do it herself.
childcaremom 08:57 AM 07-20-2015
I would have agreed to once. I would not agree to tracking it in a notebook for her.
I would just tell her that while you are willing to make the time to apply his ointment, you do not have time to also track it. "You are welcome to check the med sheet that is filled out for licensing."
If she requires times to be written down, then perhaps going back to her doing all applications is best.
I, too, would have an issue with her actually stating that she doesn't trust me to make sure he gets it done. I would approach it as, if you don't trust me, then do it yourself. I don't know if I would escalate it to a term but the potential would definitely be there.
I would just tell her that while you are willing to make the time to apply his ointment, you do not have time to also track it. "You are welcome to check the med sheet that is filled out for licensing."
If she requires times to be written down, then perhaps going back to her doing all applications is best.
I, too, would have an issue with her actually stating that she doesn't trust me to make sure he gets it done. I would approach it as, if you don't trust me, then do it yourself. I don't know if I would escalate it to a term but the potential would definitely be there.
Blackcat31 09:10 AM 07-20-2015
Originally Posted by KidGrind:
Get out of my head Blackcat!
it's so homey here.... Get out of my head Blackcat!
Play Care 09:41 AM 07-20-2015
Originally Posted by childcaremom:
I would have agreed to once. I would not agree to tracking it in a notebook for her.
I would just tell her that while you are willing to make the time to apply his ointment, you do not have time to also track it. "You are welcome to check the med sheet that is filled out for licensing."
If she requires times to be written down, then perhaps going back to her doing all applications is best.
I, too, would have an issue with her actually stating that she doesn't trust me to make sure he gets it done. I would approach it as, if you don't trust me, then do it yourself. I don't know if I would escalate it to a term but the potential would definitely be there.
This. I would have agreed to once. I would not agree to tracking it in a notebook for her.
I would just tell her that while you are willing to make the time to apply his ointment, you do not have time to also track it. "You are welcome to check the med sheet that is filled out for licensing."
If she requires times to be written down, then perhaps going back to her doing all applications is best.
I, too, would have an issue with her actually stating that she doesn't trust me to make sure he gets it done. I would approach it as, if you don't trust me, then do it yourself. I don't know if I would escalate it to a term but the potential would definitely be there.
"DCM, I am willing to put the meds on ONCE and will be marking it on my licensing sheet. That is what I am willing and able to do, or you can do all the applications at home. Which do you prefer?"
AmyKidsCo 12:24 PM 07-20-2015
I'd have her apply it when she dropped off and picked up so you only had to write it down once.
But I'd also be rethinking the relationship, because if she doesn't trust you to care for her child you may be better off finding another child.
But I'd also be rethinking the relationship, because if she doesn't trust you to care for her child you may be better off finding another child.
Indoorvoice 01:24 PM 07-20-2015
Ok I'm so glad you don't think I'm being a jerk! This dcm has an issue with every rule I have to enforce from picking up during nap time to labeling breast milk bags. Sometimes I feel so petty because I'm always telling her no over the littlest things, but it's always the little things that add up quickly in our job and turn into big things. I don't want this to be one of them!
Jujube835 01:37 PM 07-20-2015
I also have a client that takes a little here and there. Then slowly the little turns into big.. Like paying 4 days late. She has made my backbone 100x stronger only 3 months of knkwing here. Now I only bend flr a person that has been here a while and proven themselves. But it's HARD. honestly, if I had your parent trying to push medicine on me and then deciding that I'm not even trustworthy enough to administer said medicine then I'd term.
Indoorvoice 02:29 PM 07-20-2015
My husband just said that since I already write down his diaper changes and feedings every day that she probably doesn't see what the big deal is. So maybe I am being petty? When he puts it that way, I do feel like a brat. I guess the main problem is that I just didn't want to deal with the meds in the first place.
Thriftylady 02:46 PM 07-20-2015
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
My husband just said that since I already write down his diaper changes and feedings every day that she probably doesn't see what the big deal is. So maybe I am being petty? When he puts it that way, I do feel like a brat. I guess the main problem is that I just didn't want to deal with the meds in the first place.
If you are already writing that stuff down, do you do it doing a diaper change? If so just make a mark like an M for meds or something next to the diaper change. I would be irritated about it too though. There is no reason she can't do it at home.My husband just said that since I already write down his diaper changes and feedings every day that she probably doesn't see what the big deal is. So maybe I am being petty? When he puts it that way, I do feel like a brat. I guess the main problem is that I just didn't want to deal with the meds in the first place.
e.j. 02:52 PM 07-20-2015
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
I just didn't want to deal with the meds in the first place.
Your business, your house, your rules. If you don't want to deal with the meds, don't. If timing isn't an issue and she could just as easily apply the medication before and after day care, I'd would just tell her that you've given it more thought and you really don't want to take on the responsibility for doing it. As the child's parent, you would prefer her to do it and don't back down. It's okay to tell a parent, "No". I just didn't want to deal with the meds in the first place.
As a parent, I would never have asked my provider to administer any medication to my child if I could do it. It wasn't so much a trust issue as wanting to be the parent and caring for my own child.
Thriftylady 02:55 PM 07-20-2015
Originally Posted by e.j.:
Your business, your house, your rules. If you don't want to deal with the meds, don't. If timing isn't an issue and she could just as easily apply the medication before and after day care, I'd would just tell her that you've given it more thought and you really don't want to take on the responsibility for doing it. As the child's parent, you would prefer her to do it and don't back down. It's okay to tell a parent, "No".
As a parent, I would never have asked my provider to administer any medication to my child if I could do it. It wasn't so much a trust issue as wanting to be the parent and caring for my own child.
That is also what schools ask us to do as parents. Even with a doctors note for a medication, one given three times a day with no set time they require given at home. Now if it has to be a certain time (insulin or something), then they do it at school.Your business, your house, your rules. If you don't want to deal with the meds, don't. If timing isn't an issue and she could just as easily apply the medication before and after day care, I'd would just tell her that you've given it more thought and you really don't want to take on the responsibility for doing it. As the child's parent, you would prefer her to do it and don't back down. It's okay to tell a parent, "No".
As a parent, I would never have asked my provider to administer any medication to my child if I could do it. It wasn't so much a trust issue as wanting to be the parent and caring for my own child.
Unregistered 03:06 PM 07-20-2015
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
My husband just said that since I already write down his diaper changes and feedings every day that she probably doesn't see what the big deal is. So maybe I am being petty? When he puts it that way, I do feel like a brat. I guess the main problem is that I just didn't want to deal with the meds in the first place.
No you are not being petty. Let dcm know you thought about it, and it would be best that she applies it so she knows exactly when it was applied and doesn't need to wonder about it since she is so worried that you might not be applying it.My husband just said that since I already write down his diaper changes and feedings every day that she probably doesn't see what the big deal is. So maybe I am being petty? When he puts it that way, I do feel like a brat. I guess the main problem is that I just didn't want to deal with the meds in the first place.
I have a child that I had since dck was 6 months. When dck was under 1 years old, I wrote the amount of breast milk/formula and baby food the dck ate during meals since dck was the only infant. When dck turned 1 and moved to the regular menu (which is posted and sent home) I stopped putting the amount and just put general ate well/didn't eat much etc. Well dcm questioned why I wasn't writing what foods dck ate and amount. I told dcm check your menu and the USDA food guideline for amounts because by 1 yrs old I no longer write the amount. Dcm probably thought I did it before why not now. Dcm didn't understand I have no time to be writing that for six kids.
Thriftylady 03:09 PM 07-20-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
No you are not being petty. Let dcm know you thought about it, and it would be best that she applies it so she knows exactly when it was applied and doesn't need to wonder about it since she is so worried that you might not be applying it.
I have a child that I had since dck was 6 months. When dck was under 1 years old, I wrote the amount of breast milk/formula and baby food the dck ate during meals since dck was the only infant. When dck turned 1 and moved to the regular menu (which is posted and sent home) I stopped putting the amount and just put general ate well/didn't eat much etc. Well dcm questioned why I wasn't writing what foods dck ate and amount. I told dcm check your menu and the USDA food guideline for amounts because by 1 yrs old I no longer write the amount. Dcm probably thought I did it before why not now. Dcm didn't understand I have no time to be writing that for six kids.
Whatever would you have done? Measured before you put it on the plate, then measured what was left on the plate and on the floor to decide how much of what he ate? Some parents are over the top.No you are not being petty. Let dcm know you thought about it, and it would be best that she applies it so she knows exactly when it was applied and doesn't need to wonder about it since she is so worried that you might not be applying it.
I have a child that I had since dck was 6 months. When dck was under 1 years old, I wrote the amount of breast milk/formula and baby food the dck ate during meals since dck was the only infant. When dck turned 1 and moved to the regular menu (which is posted and sent home) I stopped putting the amount and just put general ate well/didn't eat much etc. Well dcm questioned why I wasn't writing what foods dck ate and amount. I told dcm check your menu and the USDA food guideline for amounts because by 1 yrs old I no longer write the amount. Dcm probably thought I did it before why not now. Dcm didn't understand I have no time to be writing that for six kids.
Blackcat31 03:28 PM 07-20-2015
Ok, lets put aside what you do and don't do for a second....
WHY can't the mom do it? What are her specific reasons?
It would solve her issue of needing to know if it was done or not.
I will never understand parents that think "this one tiny little thing" needs to be added to YOUR list of things to do when its THEIR child?
WHY can't the mom do it? What are her specific reasons?
It would solve her issue of needing to know if it was done or not.
I will never understand parents that think "this one tiny little thing" needs to be added to YOUR list of things to do when its THEIR child?
bklsmum 03:38 PM 07-20-2015
I also don't think that parents realize that one little thing per family adds up real quick for us. They seem to think they are our only family.
Indoorvoice 04:03 PM 07-20-2015
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Ok, lets put aside what you do and don't do for a second....
WHY can't the mom do it? What are her specific reasons?
It would solve her issue of needing to know if it was done or not.
I will never understand parents that think "this one tiny little thing" needs to be added to YOUR list of things to do when its THEIR child?
Her reasoning was that some days she *might* want to put it on 4 times instead of 3 times if it looks bad. She didn't think they would be spaced out enough if she had to do it 4 times. So she wants me to apply once and then she can decide how many other times to do it. I don't know! I feel like she is just making up jobs for me sometimes. And I know it's such a little thing, and I could just simply write the time, but I'm so irritated that I already told her how I was going to go about this and she has to come back at me with "no, do it my way!" If she didn't do this with everything, I would probably just write the time and quit my whining!Ok, lets put aside what you do and don't do for a second....
WHY can't the mom do it? What are her specific reasons?
It would solve her issue of needing to know if it was done or not.
I will never understand parents that think "this one tiny little thing" needs to be added to YOUR list of things to do when its THEIR child?
Thriftylady 04:06 PM 07-20-2015
Originally Posted by Indoorvoice:
Her reasoning was that some days she *might* want to put it on 4 times instead of 3 times if it looks bad. She didn't think they would be spaced out enough if she had to do it 4 times. So she wants me to apply once and then she can decide how many other times to do it. I don't know! I feel like she is just making up jobs for me sometimes. And I know it's such a little thing, and I could just simply write the time, but I'm so irritated that I already told her how I was going to go about this and she has to come back at me with "no, do it my way!" If she didn't do this with everything, I would probably just write the time and quit my whining!
"Sorry DCM but the script says three times, I can't help you"....Her reasoning was that some days she *might* want to put it on 4 times instead of 3 times if it looks bad. She didn't think they would be spaced out enough if she had to do it 4 times. So she wants me to apply once and then she can decide how many other times to do it. I don't know! I feel like she is just making up jobs for me sometimes. And I know it's such a little thing, and I could just simply write the time, but I'm so irritated that I already told her how I was going to go about this and she has to come back at me with "no, do it my way!" If she didn't do this with everything, I would probably just write the time and quit my whining!
e.j. 04:08 PM 07-20-2015
Originally Posted by bklsmum:
I also don't think that parents realize that one little thing per family adds up real quick for us. They seem to think they are our only family.
I also don't think that parents realize that one little thing per family adds up real quick for us. They seem to think they are our only family.
Honestly, I think this is a big part of it. Parents (most, anyway) who have never worked as a child care provider or had 6 or more kids at any given time to care for really don't understand how the little requests add up. I admit to being that parent when my own child was in day care. My son was born with club feet and needed stretching exercises done with him several times a day. I really did need to ask my day care provider to help me with this and deeply appreciated her willingness to do the exercises but it never occurred to me how it must have impacted her day until I became a provider myself.Just wanted to add that in this case, it seems like a control issue, though.
Laurel 04:08 PM 07-20-2015
If you write down diapering, etc. then I don't think it is a big deal to just scribble the meds note too. Personally, I used to send the "What I did today" sheet home in the very beginning of doing child care but soon stopped it. What a pain!
I did give medicine but, like you, only if it was to be given in the middle of the day. If they could do it at home then I required them to do it. I had one mom get a little miffed because I didn't want to do a breathing treatment with a nebulizer right when the child arrived at my house. I asked her if she couldn't do it at home before she came. On the other hand, my provider friend had no problem doing it. So it is all what you want to do. Either way, it is your choice.
Laurel
I did give medicine but, like you, only if it was to be given in the middle of the day. If they could do it at home then I required them to do it. I had one mom get a little miffed because I didn't want to do a breathing treatment with a nebulizer right when the child arrived at my house. I asked her if she couldn't do it at home before she came. On the other hand, my provider friend had no problem doing it. So it is all what you want to do. Either way, it is your choice.
Laurel
Crazy8 06:16 AM 07-21-2015
Originally Posted by bklsmum:
I also don't think that parents realize that one little thing per family adds up real quick for us. They seem to think they are our only family.
This is often the problem! I often remind my parents the things they are doing for 1 child I have to do for 5. I also don't think that parents realize that one little thing per family adds up real quick for us. They seem to think they are our only family.
If a med is required 3x a day I will do 1x, because many times they have to be so many hours apart. I honestly wouldn't have trouble marking on their sheet "med given at 12pm" but the thing I am having trouble with is the parent saying they want you to write that down to "prove" you gave it. Ummmm…. first of all just because you write it doesn't mean you did it and secondly, that speaks volumes about their trust in me as a provider.