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Unregistered 08:12 AM 02-11-2020
I have a 4 1/2 yo who cries here on a regular basis (2-3 days/wk). Many mornings she starts crying as mom says goodbye to her. She cries with changes in who drops off or picks up. Ex: dad drops off instead of mom, mom picks up and DCG wanted dad to pick up.
One day the family was supposed to go to grandma and grandpas house for dinner after leaving my house. When mom came for pick up, she told 4 1/2 yo they couldn't go because grandma and grandpa were sick and DCG immediately had a meltdown tantrum.
Mom is sick today, so dad dropped off and DCG cried all through breakfast because she wanted mom to drop her off instead.
At what age is this no longer considered normal behavior for the child's age? At this age, I feel like DCG can understand that when someone is sick, they need to stay home and rest.
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Michael 12:28 PM 02-11-2020
Here are some threads on Separation Anxiety: https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.p...ration+anxiety
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Ariana 07:41 PM 02-11-2020
Is she getting enough sleep at night? I find this is typically the age where part time is difficult and they do things like this to get extra attention. Not sure how long she has been with you but is this new behavior?
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Jo123ABC 08:45 PM 02-11-2020
Im starting to feel like there is no normal for any age. I'm a negative Nancy today though I have a 4 year old who can barely use a fork.
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Josiegirl 03:49 AM 02-12-2020
I'm with Jo, lol, there is no more normal. Four yos are dramatic little creatures. And it wouldn't surprise me that this dcg gets lots of attention at home for things like this. You know, the parent who feels they have to explain in depth why something has to be the way it is or the one who tries to have a conversation way above the child's age level, opening up worlds of room for manipulation. Or it could be she's just a dramatic little one. Doesn't extreme whining come into play around this age, if given the opportunity for growth?
Just don't be the audience this dcg seems to require at the moment.
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Cat Herder 03:58 AM 02-12-2020
4-year-olds.

They are what makes me grateful for Pre-k.

Faked regression, drama, tattling, more drama, baby talk, attention-seeking, bossing, tantrums and faking sick. I really just go for surviving this stage altogether. They turn into perfectly normal people around 5.

Mostly kidding. They do love science experiments at this age, so that is something I keep them busy with as often as possible.
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Unregistered 07:56 AM 02-12-2020
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
I'm with Jo, lol, there is no more normal. Four yos are dramatic little creatures. And it wouldn't surprise me that this dcg gets lots of attention at home for things like this. You know, the parent who feels they have to explain in depth why something has to be the way it is or the one who tries to have a conversation way above the child's age level, opening up worlds of room for manipulation. Or it could be she's just a dramatic little one. Doesn't extreme whining come into play around this age, if given the opportunity for growth?
Just don't be the audience this dcg seems to require at the moment.
I do feel that both mom and dad play into the crying. They both call her "baby" when talking to her instead of using her name. She also does a lot of random crying during calendar time, story time, curriculum etc. When I have talked to mom about it, she will then start asking DCG questions like, "Were you upset because you didn't like the book she was reading?", "Were you upset because you didn't want to sing the song that was chosen?" I find questions like these ridiculous. I feel children need to learn that they aren't always going to get their way and/or they may not like everything we do here, but crying about it is not an appropriate response. I always have to wonder, what is going to happen when these kids go to preschool/kindergarten?
DCG has been in my care since 12 months and has been doing this since around 2 1/2-3 years old. At this point, when she starts crying, I give her two options: stop crying so she can continue to participate in group activities, or she goes to her alone time spot until she is done crying.
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Meeko 08:27 AM 02-12-2020
Sounds like you're handling it...although I know it's frustrating.
I have a five year old who is the whiney, manipulation king.

Mom and Dad are not together. He plays back and forth to the point I want to scream. When Mom picks up...he cries because he wants Dad. When dad picks up...vice versa.

He pulls the "but Dad said....." or "but Mom said.." with both of them.

The whiney voice was present constantly when I first got him. I had to tell him I wouldn't answer him unless he talked properly and he now does...to me. Mom and Dad still get non-stop whining. But they do nothing to stop it. They actually encourage it by babying him constantly and giving him what he wants.

They complain to me about it and I tell them what to do about it, but they both loooove to think that Jr is seriously screwed up due to the other parent. But Jr just knows how to manipulate.
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Tags:4 year old, attention seeking behavior, changing of the guard, drama, drop off transition, separation anxiety, tantrums
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