Daycare.com Forum Kidacare by Minute Menu Force of Nature Disinfectant

Go Back   Daycare.com Forum > Main Category > Daycare Center and Family Home Forum

Daycare Center and Family Home Forum Daycare Center and Family Home owners, Directors, Operators and Assistants should post and ask questions here.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 04-10-2015, 12:50 PM
mduck's Avatar
mduck mduck is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 82
Default Ever feel like your Dh doesnt know what it takes?

I always hate posting cause I feel like I don't have a right to having only one Dck. I do have three of my own at home (one I homeschool) so it does still get hectic, but anyways.

My Dh leaves before dcg gets here and dcg is mostly gone before he gets home from work. He really has NO IDEA what all it takes to get through the day. I try to get up at 5:30am to get myself and the house ready. Then start school with my 3rd grader at 7am. I school her and then break to get my 1 year old up, my 5 year old up, and breakfast started. My dcg comes in during bfast. DCM has semi lengthy drop offs and then I feed dck Her bfast. She is one of those children that you have to watch all the time (1 year old). Partly because I'm paranoid and partly because she is very high spirited.

I do minor schooling while babies are awake and major schooling when babies are napping. Ugh, napping is another issue altogether. It's holding babies, changing diapers, correcting behavior, putting together meals, cleaning up messes, teaching, dressing and redressing, etc all day long! Why am I listing all this! You guys know all about this. Anyhow. I think that my Dh thinks it's no biggie. So you "babysat for a day. Big woop". That's kinda how I think he feels about it. When I freak out about what he considers "little things" he just feels like I'm over reacting. I'm exhausted at the end of the day and I think he thinks I'm being lazy.

He and I normally get to bed by midnight and I think that's gonna have to change.

Silly little vent.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 04-10-2015, 12:53 PM
spinnymarie's Avatar
spinnymarie spinnymarie is offline
mac n peas
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Illinois
Posts: 889
Default

I think no one outside of this business knows what it takes
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 04-10-2015, 12:55 PM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 18,909
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mduck View Post
I always hate posting cause I feel like I don't have a right to having only one Dck. I do have three of my own at home (one I homeschool) so it does still get hectic, but anyways.

My Dh leaves before dcg gets here and dcg is mostly gone before he gets home from work. He really has NO IDEA what all it takes to get through the day. I try to get up at 5:30am to get myself and the house ready. Then start school with my 3rd grader at 7am. I school her and then break to get my 1 year old up, my 5 year old up, and breakfast started. My dcg comes in during bfast. DCM has semi lengthy drop offs and then I feed dck Her bfast. She is one of those children that you have to watch all the time (1 year old). Partly because I'm paranoid and partly because she is very high spirited.

I do minor schooling while babies are awake and major schooling when babies are napping. Ugh, napping is another issue altogether. It's holding babies, changing diapers, correcting behavior, putting together meals, cleaning up messes, teaching, dressing and redressing, etc all day long! Why am I listing all this! You guys know all about this. Anyhow. I think that my Dh thinks it's no biggie. So you "babysat for a day. Big woop". That's kinda how I think he feels about it. When I freak out about what he considers "little things" he just feels like I'm over reacting. I'm exhausted at the end of the day and I think he thinks I'm being lazy.

He and I normally get to bed by midnight and I think that's gonna have to change.

Silly little vent.
But those little things ARE big things when they:

Happen repeatedly through out the day
Occur continuously day after day
Happen ALL at once
Occur every 5 minutes (no break)

I understand exactly what you mean. I know lots of people that think we (providers/moms/parents etc) don't really do anything and in a way they are right. I rarely get anything actually done, because I am continually having to stop and help someone, talk with someone, entertain someone, address someone's needs, assist someone, scold someone, praise someone, redirect someone, catch someone from falling, snuggle someone, wave good bye/hello to someone etc etc...

Add in the phone ringing, visitors at the door, lunch/snack prep, the dishes needing to be done, attending to your own physical needs AND trying to stay on somewhat of a routine schedule...you really don't do much of any one thing but you DO do ALOT of little things.

...and like I said, all those little things add up.

Hang in there....
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 04-10-2015, 01:04 PM
AuntTami's Avatar
AuntTami AuntTami is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 888
Default

Yep, I'm in the same boat. Sometimes it's me who thinks hubby thinks I don't do anything. He's never said anything and he knows how much it can be, but sometimes I think he thinks I'm lazy, especially when at the end of the day I'm exhausted and don't wanna do anything but he doesn't understand why because my job isn't as physically demanding as his! Hang in there!!! I'm sure like me, it's your own head saying those things and others don't feel that way.... At least not anyone that matters lol
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 04-10-2015, 01:06 PM
LindseyA's Avatar
LindseyA LindseyA is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: New York
Posts: 200
Default

My husband is finally getting a good understanding of what it takes since a got a new 2y/o who whines non stop... Not cries, whines. Which in my opinion, is worse than crying! He was sick one day last week, so him trying to rest with Little Miss doing her thing all day (with 4 others under 4), he was like "Wow, how do you NOT go crazy?!"
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 04-10-2015, 01:09 PM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

All it took was a week of vacation for my DH to understnd. One dcb kept throwing fits. DH just looked at me like wtf? Lol
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 04-10-2015, 01:14 PM
DaveA's Avatar
DaveA DaveA is online now
Daycare.com Member and Bladesmith
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Illinois
Posts: 4,004
Default

1 kid or 100 it adds up quick.

One thing that caught my attention is a couple of times you said some form of "I think he thinks......" I don't claim to speak for all guys but as a general rule trying to guess what we think is a bad idea. ASK Take some time and sit down & (calmly) tell him what your day entails and how stressed you are. It doesn't have to be roofing in July to be hard work. Explain why you're stressed, what bothers you the most, etc. Don't get angry or be accusatory- nothing shuts down a discussion quicker that someone telling me how I just don't get it or why I'm the problem.

Also no matter how busy you are you HAVE to find sometime for yourself. I don't care how long or how often, but if you don't make time for yourself you will burnout quick. Doesn't matter what it is: go for a walk, read a book locked in a room somewhere, build something, anything at all.

Good luck
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 04-10-2015, 01:37 PM
AmyLeigh's Avatar
AmyLeigh AmyLeigh is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Central California
Posts: 875
Default

What is he saying or doing that makes you feel this way?
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 04-10-2015, 04:14 PM
Josiegirl's Avatar
Josiegirl Josiegirl is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Right here
Posts: 10,373
Default

Does he ever take your own kids all day, by himself? That, in itself, would be draining, then add another little tot, plus all the keeping up, cleaning, cooking, homeschooling. It seems like every day is filled to the brim with "Calgon take me away" moments. Heh yeh, piece of cake. Makes *me* want to club him upside da head for you!!
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 04-10-2015, 04:42 PM
NightOwl's Avatar
NightOwl NightOwl is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Alabama
Posts: 2,716
Default

I'd suggest having him do your job for a day. If he would agree of course. Wouldn't it be fun to sit back and watch him scramble all over to keep up with the demands of 4 littles?
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 04-11-2015, 01:39 AM
childcaremom's Avatar
childcaremom childcaremom is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 2,969
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveArmour View Post
1 kid or 100 it adds up quick.

One thing that caught my attention is a couple of times you said some form of "I think he thinks......" I don't claim to speak for all guys but as a general rule trying to guess what we think is a bad idea. ASK Take some time and sit down & (calmly) tell him what your day entails and how stressed you are. It doesn't have to be roofing in July to be hard work. Explain why you're stressed, what bothers you the most, etc. Don't get angry or be accusatory- nothing shuts down a discussion quicker that someone telling me how I just don't get it or why I'm the problem.

Also no matter how busy you are you HAVE to find sometime for yourself. I don't care how long or how often, but if you don't make time for yourself you will burnout quick. Doesn't matter what it is: go for a walk, read a book locked in a room somewhere, build something, anything at all.

Good luck
I think you've got a lot on your plate. Young kids, daycare, homeschooling.


PP has some good points.

Have you chatted with dh about how you are feeling? My dh knows what the day looks like (only because he's been here for a few days here and there) so he understands. To a point. Probably just as much as I can understand about his job and the stress he feels with his day. But it helps to chat about it and unload every so often, too.

I have found (with my dh) that if I can find some little things that he can do to help the day move along, then I feel like I am getting help and a little less stressed. He's a fixer and needs me to be specific in what I want him to do. For example, the mornings are (for me) crazy time here with my own kids (not even dcks yet, lol). So it is helpful to me if he can make sure the counters are clear before he goes to work. Take out any recycle or compost left over. Etc. Little things that are easily fit into his morning routine and help me out a lot. I also get his input into my set up and he usually has great suggestions and will help me implement them.

Making time for yourself is also so important. It definitely recharges you. The weeks where I 'skip' the me time... let's just say I notice the difference in myself so am sure others do, as well
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 04-11-2015, 08:53 AM
mommiebookworm's Avatar
mommiebookworm mommiebookworm is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 348
Default

I think he didn't have a clue, until he had 3 days off at Christmas. Then he saw exactly what it was like!
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 04-11-2015, 11:28 AM
Annalee's Avatar
Annalee Annalee is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 4,955
Default

I honestly feel like there is NO ONE except an actual FCC provider that understands what our job is like day in and day out. FCC is unique in that it consist of many variables...i.e. balancing our own families, client families, outside responsibilities (church, friends, that feel we are JUST HOME anyway), etc. FCC is NOT for just anyone that wants to "keep kids". This is why we need a support system like the forum, local/state/national organizations, etc. Networking with peers is vital in this business.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 04-12-2015, 11:41 AM
mduck's Avatar
mduck mduck is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 82
Default

Thanks for all of your kind responses. I do have a good husband, but he just doesn't get all the worry, sweat, and work that goes into just one of my days. When I have a day away from my children, his mom almost always gets wind of it and either takes the kids or comes over and helps him so he really doesn't have a realistic idea of what it's really like.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 04-12-2015, 11:56 AM
Thriftylady's Avatar
Thriftylady Thriftylady is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,887
Default

I have given up hope on mine getting it lol. My hubby and DD had the stomach flu the other day and hubby said "well at least if you get it you will just be at home with the kids, you don't have to do much".

Yes, he's still breathing....For now.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How Do You Feel About Out Of Town Guests? Unregistered Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 26 06-24-2016 09:00 PM
I used my backbone today and I DON'T feel bad! melilley Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 5 11-13-2013 10:59 AM
I Feel Like I Am Asking Her Out Lil'DinoEggs Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 8 09-19-2013 03:30 PM
Feel Like Such A Bad Guy... Brooksie Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 20 08-21-2013 06:40 PM
Gave Term To New Family, Feel Bad providerandmomof4 Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 6 05-04-2013 07:46 AM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:23 PM.



Daycare.com         Find A Daycare         List Your Daycare         Toys & Products                 About Us

Daycare.com
Please read our Disclaimer before continuing.

Topics pertain mainly to the following States:

Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut Delaware District of Columbia Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah Vermont Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming