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EntropyControlSpecialist 09:34 AM 02-25-2013
I am an in home DCP. I have a child who is currently on a behavior management plan. I have never had to implement one before so this is uncharted territory for me.

There is a paragraph in it that reads:
The parent will be informed of any and all violations of these rules in the Daily Report within the next month. After three behavioral issues, the child will be suspended from ______ for 3 days. If the child continues to have any behavioral issues after the suspension, the child care contract will be immediately terminated and the parent will be called to pick up the child within 45 minutes.

Would you take this to mean three separate issues (which could happen in one day) or would you take this to mean issues on three days?
The child has had at least three behavioral issues today within 1.5 hours of getting here (pinched a child, pulled a child onto the ground by their winter hat, pushed two children, and kicked another child in the bottom). None of these were done out of anger or frustration and the child is older. We also have a smaller group today (4 children out) which is typically when the children have less behavioral problems.

Would you suspend the child today or would you wait for three days of incidents? I want to be fair, but due to there being more than three physically aggressive incidents this morning alone I am leaning towards issuing the suspension today.

What would you do?

Sincerely,
A tired DCP
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MsLaura529 09:45 AM 02-25-2013
Yikes, that sound like a rough morning already!

THe wording of that is pretty confusing. Initially I would think 3 could mean in one day ... then it says "after the suspension" it would be terminated, and I think that would be pretty harsh to happen that quickly...

He sounds like a tough kid though ... and a bit dangerous.

Sorry, I'm no help :\
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My3cents 10:27 AM 02-25-2013
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
I have a child who is currently on a behavior management plan. I have never had to implement one before so this is uncharted territory for me.

There is a paragraph in it that reads:
The parent will be informed of any and all violations of these rules in the Daily Report within the next month. After three behavioral issues, the child will be suspended from ______ for 3 days. If the child continues to have any behavioral issues after the suspension, the child care contract will be immediately terminated and the parent will be called to pick up the child within 45 minutes.

Would you take this to mean three separate issues (which could happen in one day) or would you take this to mean issues on three days?
The child has had at least three behavioral issues today within 1.5 hours of getting here (pinched a child, pulled a child onto the ground by their winter hat, pushed two children, and kicked another child in the bottom). None of these were done out of anger or frustration and the child is older. We also have a smaller group today (4 children out) which is typically when the children have less behavioral problems.

Would you suspend the child today or would you wait for three days of incidents? I want to be fair, but due to there being more than three physically aggressive incidents this morning alone I am leaning towards issuing the suspension today.

What would you do?

Sincerely,
A tired DCP
I take it you work for a center and these are the rules there? I would talk with my supervisor and ask her to explain the plan.

I would separate this child from the other kids as much as possible and have him be a shadow to a worker. Keep this kid busy as all can be and repeat, rinse and repeat again. This child sounds workable- How old? What are the triggers? If your looking for it to be ok to term the child, then term- but if your looking to work with the child try the above and I am sure more help will come from this forum and great group of women.

Best--
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EntropyControlSpecialist 10:31 AM 02-25-2013
No, I am in-home DCP that has only preschoolers. I just have never had a child behave this way. The behavior has escalated over the past 9 months and I have repeatedly told the parents about the behavioral issues but nothing was changing. So, I issued a behavior management plan. I didn't realize I'd have to suspend the child so quickly (their first day back after issuing it).

I've already done everything you could ever suggest to keep this child's behavior appropriate. In my state a child can only be separated from the other children for a maximum of 1 minute per year of age. The child is 5 1/2 and does not have triggers. The child is never angry/upset/frustrated when physical incidents occur. They say they just want to "be bad."

I got advice pertaining to this child on this board several months ago. There is absolutely nothing else left to do beyond implementing my plan. I am going to issue a suspension effective February 26-28. I have to protect the other children and my business. Thanks for letting me roll the thought over in my mind (on the board) in order for me to come to a conclusion.
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mema 10:38 AM 02-25-2013
For this child, I would say it could happen in 1 day-3 separate issues-not 3 separate days. It doesn't sound like he will improve and with everything you are going thru, I wouldn't want to see you get hurt (or any of the children either). I know I shouldn't be one to talk about terming for behavior (dealing with my own drama right now), but seeing as how yours is physical-I would do it in a heartbeat.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 10:40 AM 02-25-2013
Originally Posted by mema:
For this child, I would say it could happen in 1 day-3 separate issues-not 3 separate days. It doesn't sound like he will improve and with everything you are going thru, I wouldn't want to see you get hurt (or any of the children either). I know I shouldn't be one to talk about terming for behavior (dealing with my own drama right now), but seeing as how yours is physical-I would do it in a heartbeat.
In the past, I have had no issue with terming for negative physical behavior (seriously, immediate terminations!).
I truly tried to work with this child for 9 months but I can no longer do so. The child will have one more chance after the suspension is over.
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mema 10:44 AM 02-25-2013

Good luck! Hopefully he will take a turn after this suspension otherwise, you could have one quiet, stress free week if he comes in Friday and starts over. Ugh. Wouldn't want to see what he'll be like in school. It only gets worse.

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EntropyControlSpecialist 11:20 AM 02-25-2013
One more question.

Do I hand the DCP the suspension letter and say nothing, or do I throw together a sentence while handing it to her? It will also be e-mailed just so it can't be lost.
"He had a hard day keeping his hands and feet to himself, so unfortunately this is a suspension notice. The incidents are detailed at the bottom."
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daycarediva 12:17 PM 02-25-2013
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
One more question.

Do I hand the DCP the suspension letter and say nothing, or do I throw together a sentence while handing it to her? It will also be e-mailed just so it can't be lost.
"He had a hard day keeping his hands and feet to himself, so unfortunately this is a suspension notice. The incidents are detailed at the bottom."
I would most definitely say something. If I didn't, my daycare parents wouldn't be likely to read it.

I really, really hope that they end up just leaving over this. I applaud you for sticking it out this long and trying to HELP the child. That kid sounds totally out of control.
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Lilbutterflie 12:53 PM 02-25-2013
Yup, you have every right to issue the suspension effective tomorrow. I know you've been talking to the parents, exploring ALL other avenues before reaching this point. You have done all you can, now it's time to do the only thing left- suspend and then terminate.
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Heidi 01:22 PM 02-25-2013
Under the circumstances, calling them at work and having him picked up and suspended immediately would have been totally appropriate.

I honestly hope they term themselves for you all. Maybe a fresh start somewhere will help him too, I don't know. All I know is you have done all you can!
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Angelsj 06:14 PM 02-25-2013
5-8 yo boys (and sometimes girls) can be REALLY hard to work with, especially when you are working with littles at the same time.
Why is he not in school?
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My3cents 06:26 AM 02-26-2013
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
No, I am in-home DCP that has only preschoolers. I just have never had a child behave this way. The behavior has escalated over the past 9 months and I have repeatedly told the parents about the behavioral issues but nothing was changing. So, I issued a behavior management plan. I didn't realize I'd have to suspend the child so quickly (their first day back after issuing it).I think yu did know this, because you have had this child in your care and that is the reason that you implemented your plan. I think your just having a hard time to say this child is not working for your program. The issues that you addressed in your first post I would be willing to work with and try to find a solution. Everyone's tolerance level is different. If it has become to the point that your going to start having other clients walk then I would term this child. If it is workable, I would keep trying. I think maybe bringing parents into the mix and saying he is doing this,that and this here. What is going on at home? Tag teaming with the parents to find a solution. Explaining to them that it has gotten to the point that you can't have this behavior happening at care anymore. Have a list of what has gone on and what you have tried to remedy.

I've already done everything you could ever suggest to keep this child's behavior appropriate. In my state a child can only be separated from the other children for a maximum of 1 minute per year of age.That may be the book rule, but if I had a child that would not leave other kids alone he would have his own play space until he could, it could be near the other kids but not in touchable distance. I see nothing wrong with that. The child is 5 1/2 and does not have triggers. Maybe he needs more help then you are able to give him in your care. Recommend that he be evaluated. The child is never angry/upset/frustrated when physical incidents occur. They say they just want to "be bad." No kid wants to be bad, what they are probably saying is that they want attention. I would try to find the positives and make a big deal out of them and show no emotion to negative behavior unless it is harming another child.

I got advice pertaining to this child on this board several months ago. Forgive me I forget this and will try to look up past post later. I am responding to this post. There is absolutely nothing else left to do beyond implementing my plan. Then you should implement. Why bother making these policies and rules if your not going to follow through with them? I am going to issue a suspension effective February 26-28. I have to protect the other children and my business. Thanks for letting me roll the thought over in my mind (on the board) in order for me to come to a conclusion.
Anytime, glad I am not the only one that does the talk it out loud stuff with my fingers. I too do this from time to time. Let us know how it works out and the reaction the parents have.

I don't think you are, because you have given great advice in the past but don't be afraid to talk with your parents ever. Even if they don't seem to be listening. They are listening. I know sometimes it is just not easy to address different issues with parents. One of the biggest reasons is that we fear the child being pulled from our care and that means loss of income. If a child is not working for our programs it is in the best interest of the CHILD to let the child move on. I too struggle with this at times, because I care and I want to fix the world. I can't. Knowing when your limits have been reached opens you up for better. Just saying.

Best-
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My3cents 06:30 AM 02-26-2013
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
In the past, I have had no issue with terming for negative physical behavior (seriously, immediate terminations!).
I truly tried to work with this child for 9 months but I can no longer do so. The child will have one more chance after the suspension is over.
Why are you d waddling on this child then? Just curious

I wish you luck with this it is hard when it is not working out and you have invested a lot of yourself into helping a child- best-
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My3cents 06:32 AM 02-26-2013
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
One more question.

Do I hand the DCP the suspension letter and say nothing, or do I throw together a sentence while handing it to her? It will also be e-mailed just so it can't be lost.
"He had a hard day keeping his hands and feet to himself, so unfortunately this is a suspension notice. The incidents are detailed at the bottom."
Verbal communication is key to this line of work. I say talk to the parents. I would do a tag team meeting and lay it all out before I had gone this far. You might have already tried this.

I think it would be more then he had a hard day- you also want to be careful saying this to a parent if you have other parents picking up at the same time. I would pull the parent aside.
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My3cents 06:35 AM 02-26-2013
Originally Posted by Heidi:
Under the circumstances, calling them at work and having him picked up and suspended immediately would have been totally appropriate.

I honestly hope they term themselves for you all. Maybe a fresh start somewhere will help him too, I don't know. All I know is you have done all you can!
yes true- but if it happens again after the suspension then I would call for immediate pick up and be done. I would make it clear to the parent that this will be my next step because you have tried everything

update us on the reaction of the parent and how it all goes
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EntropyControlSpecialist 07:33 AM 02-26-2013
The child was suspended yesterday and I received a very ugly e-mail from the Dad blaming me. The child was terminated today.
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Lilbutterflie 07:40 AM 02-26-2013
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
The child was suspended yesterday and I received a very ugly e-mail from the Dad blaming me. The child was terminated today.
I've had the same thing happen in the past. Remember- it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the fact that the parent wants to blame someone other than themselves or their child for the violent behavior!

At least it's over now!
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EntropyControlSpecialist 08:46 AM 02-26-2013
A refund is now being request for the remainder of the week. I do not give refunds.
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KnoxMom 09:03 AM 02-26-2013
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
A refund is now being request for the remainder of the week. I do not give refunds.
As long as the contract states that when a child is terminated for behavioral issues (or under any circumstance) refunds will not be provided and they signed it... you're good!
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EntropyControlSpecialist 09:19 AM 02-26-2013
Originally Posted by KnoxMom:
As long as the contract states that when a child is terminated for behavioral issues (or under any circumstance) refunds will not be provided and they signed it... you're good!
The only time a refund is said to be given is when I am closed on a day other than the holidays listed. It does say MANY times throughout that a termination can occur at any point in time.
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Lilbutterflie 10:00 AM 02-26-2013
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
The only time a refund is said to be given is when I am closed on a day other than the holidays listed. It does say MANY times throughout that a termination can occur at any point in time.
You may want to add it to your contract that if a termination occurs midweek; no refunds are given. Unless it's outlined in your contract; I can see where the parent would request a refund for a midweek termination. The care that they have already paid for is no longer being offered.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 10:12 AM 02-26-2013
Originally Posted by Lilbutterflie:
You may want to add it to your contract that if a termination occurs midweek; no refunds are given. Unless it's outlined in your contract; I can see where the parent would request a refund for a midweek termination. The care that they have already paid for is no longer being offered.
I added it so that there is more clarity now.
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My3cents 10:22 AM 02-26-2013
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist View Post
The child was suspended yesterday and I received a very ugly e-mail from the Dad blaming me. The child was terminated today.
I've had the same thing happen in the past. Remember- it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the fact that the parent wants to blame someone other than themselves or their child for the violent behavior!

At least it's over now!
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I think you knew this would end this way it is just hard to get here. Hugs to you- Now you will be blessed with a new family that respects you and a child that doesn't have these issues going on. Document everything. I would respond to the Father with avenues of help for his little one and not even further any of the garbage he spilled onto you- That poor little boy needs help, parental denial is not going to help him. Give yourself a hug for trying your best-
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mom2many 10:30 AM 02-26-2013
[quote=My3cents;323303]

I think you knew this would end this way it is just hard to get here. Hugs to you- Now you will be blessed with a new family that respects you and a child that doesn't have these issues going on. Document everything. I would respond to the Father with avenues of help for his little one and not even further any of the garbage he spilled onto you- That poor little boy needs help, parental denial is not going to help him. Give yourself a hug for trying your best-


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MissAnn 10:39 AM 02-26-2013
You did what you had to do. You don't want to term one day "too late" like I once did. Had to send a boy off to the ER for stitches. Wouldn't have happened if I had termed when I knew I should have.
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