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Old 03-20-2014, 04:46 PM
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Mom2TLE Mom2TLE is offline
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Default When Conventional Methods Don't Work

DCB just turned 3 does not respond to regular forms of discipline. Today alone he pushed 1 year old brother down to take a ball (twice), spit on everyone's food at breakfast, knocked down 3 kids separate block towers, hit 3 kids, pushed another3 kids, opened the door threw a ball at another child's head, took the bean bag chair away from another child (twice), all before lunch. He got a warning and then breakfast taken away for spitting. A mixture of time outs and stern instructions to stop and redirection for the rest. After nap was much of the same along with an attempt to punch dd 2 in the face when mom was here. I'm at a loss he laughs when reprimanded for physical harm against other children and nothing else seems to work. I believe he has spd although does not have an official dx. Any suggestions?
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Old 03-20-2014, 04:53 PM
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I would NOT put up with that! Put them on probation and start advertising! It took me a long time to learn that no dollar amount is worth my sanity! Ill be terming someone next week for similar destructive behavior if it doesnt stop by then (which I know it wont because after numerous talks with mom, the behavior continues)
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Old 03-20-2014, 05:58 PM
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Exorcism?
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Old 03-20-2014, 10:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Imagination's Creations View Post
I would NOT put up with that! Put them on probation and start advertising! It took me a long time to learn that no dollar amount is worth my sanity! Ill be terming someone next week for similar destructive behavior if it doesnt stop by then (which I know it wont because after numerous talks with mom, the behavior continues)
Amen!
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Old 03-21-2014, 12:29 PM
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Exorcism?
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Old 03-21-2014, 02:20 PM
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I would term at pickup today.

"DCK1 is hurting too many other children and does not respond to any intervention methods I am comfortable exercising. I am unable to meet his childcare needs. I would be happy to give you a referral to a few nannies as he is showing a need for one-on-one care until the violent outbursts are completely gone. I am happy to continue care for DCK2 (1yr old brother) and work with you on finding someone who can help DCK1 to control his violence so I can accept him back into group care."

You watching him is a HUGE liability for you - when he hurts another child it will be you at fault, not him. You will start loosing the other families quickly if their child(ren) keep getting hurt at your DC by other children.
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Old 03-21-2014, 06:13 PM
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My mom used to make us do really unfun repetitive things that fit the crime. For instance if we threw something we had to pick it up and hand it to her 10 times. Same with running up and down stairs, walk up and down them 10x. Leave the toilet paper or ice cube trays empty....in your pillow case! Funny how this really worked for us and I do not use this technique!!
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Old 03-21-2014, 07:07 PM
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Term for the sake of the other children. You kind of have to. Forget notice.

I had a DCG that fits that same description, same age and everything. She was the only child/family I've ever termed. That was three years ago, and her parents are still angry with me. And they were 'those' parents. The kind whose children are in charge. "Make good choices today, honey." Ugh. The kind whose very photograph sucks your soul out through your ears. At the time this happened, I was in physical therapy twice a week and went last thing in the day. My backup person came for the end of those days. The parents tried blaming DGC's behavior on the fact that she was confused and didn't know who was the adult in charge.
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Old 03-24-2014, 07:22 PM
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Exorcism?
Hahaha!!!
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Old 03-24-2014, 08:47 PM
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We want so much not to fail that we feel guilty terming. You will fail all of the OTHER children in your care by keeping this one. 3YO is too old for this behavior, IMO. The child needs more than you can give. This child probably needs a therapist, along with a parent who accepts that the child needs help, and that the parent needs parenting help. You can't fix it. It doesn't matter what the parent says, the fact is that the parent is responsible for the situation.

Often, these behaviors are worse at daycare than at home because you are a "safe" person to act out with. It's not going to change unless you and the parent are on the same page and doing the same things to address the issues. That is not going to happen. It's not your problem. It is very stressful to make the decision to let the child go. After you give the term notice, you will probably hate yourself for waiting so long! Just do it.
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Old 03-25-2014, 04:54 AM
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If a child intentionally spits in anger or to be mean, I call the parent for pick up & not let them return for 24 hours..., per policy. This puts the parenting back on them. If they have to be picked up 3 times for this type of behavior, I term. This goes for hitting or biting aggressively.
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Old 03-25-2014, 01:03 PM
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Exorcism?
That must have been what was wrong with my last term dcm.
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