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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Do You Think I Did Something Wrong...My Husband Thinks So
cheerfuldom 01:37 PM 06-09-2012
Okay so this situation is with my newest family who just started last week. I know they thought my contract was strict but we did talk about it during the interview. They had numerous questions about my "no junk food in the sack lunch rule" and were like "what about this item....what about that?" I knew it was going to be at least something of an issue but there is always something with every parent and I was willing to give it a shot. I again explained my lunch rules, the main idea being that I do not appreciate parents sugaring up kids right before nap.

Both days she was here, lunch from home included a few okay items but also little debbie snacks, chips, squeeze juices and other clearly identified "junk foods". I dont think anyone can debate that a little debbie snack is not junk food, you know?

So I offered this girl the healthiest options first from her lunch. I gave her water instead of the juice. I put the junk food back in the lunch box to be sent home.

My husband says I should not be "dictating" what other people feed their kids. I was livid about this comment. He was acting like I was being abusive or something in not allowing this girl to have the sugary drink that mom and dad sent with her.

I have already talked to both parents about the lunch issue and now will just be sending home any super junky foods and offering the better options. It was already addressed the first day but they still sent a similar lunch the second. For me, everything else is going really well with this new child and I see no reason to keep harping on the same issue over and over. I feel that sending home the junky options is a good compromise and I have no desire to lose this family over one issue. I am not giving her sugar for lunch so if the parents want to still send it, whatever. To me, its the same thing as previous parents continually sending pacis, blankies, toys from home and other items that are just put in to the diaper bag and sent home day after day. I talk to these parents and then after that, I just send it home.

I am very annoyed though because my husband is always the one telling me to do things that I would never do with the kids like "just put them in a pnp and let them cry", "just put a movie on for them" and that type of thing. I am not opposed to CIO or occasional movies but his solution for everything is either let the kids watch TV or put them in a room by themselves. So apparently, in his view, these two things ARE okay but giving a child water is not?

On a side note, the parents said her naps are usually one hour. She's been sleeping 3 to 3.5 here! I feel strongly that a better diet for the day (I provide snacks) is helping her calm for nap times.
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EchoMom 02:00 PM 06-09-2012
Just my opinion, but if the parents agreed to it in your policies/contract then I suppose you do have the right to not give it because they agreed to that.

However, if I were the parent, I would chose a different provider. Sorry but I agree with your husband that you don't have the right to enforce your own parenting on this family. Yes a Little Debbie is junk, but that's fine in moderation. If she's eating a healthy lunch and has a dessert with it that's fine, but again, that's my parenting.

Also, she could be napping longer partly because she's exhausted from the new stimulation at daycare, that in itself is exhausting and causes my dckids to all sleep much longer here than at home, regardless of diet.
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EchoMom 02:03 PM 06-09-2012
Sorry, not to harp on it, but I also forgot to say that my 5 kids all pack lunches from home too. They sometimes bring healthy stuff, and sometimes it's hot dogs, mac n cheese, juice, prepackaged stuff, etc. One family in particular has a teeny tiny 2 year old and he always drinks juice and occasionally they send skim milk for him. I mentioned that whole milk was best for him but they have not made the change. While I disagree with it, I don't think it's up to me to force anyone to feed their child differently.
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cheerfuldom 02:11 PM 06-09-2012
I don't "force" anything. I offer the healthy stuff first (which she did not even completely finish) and I see no issue with holding off on the junk till the end of the meal or not offering at all.

Lunch for a two year old included a little debbie snack, sandwhich bag stuffed with chips, and sugary juice ALL in the same lunch.....is it weird that I think that this is too much junk for a 2 year old? Especially when she eats the healthy stuff and is perfectly satisfied with that?

I guess I disagree because I dont think this is about my parenting style. I am not trying to parent these kids. I dont care in the slightest what other parents do....but at my daycare, I dont offer junk food to kids because it gets them sugared up (with a crash later) and it can cause fights amongst the kids ("She got a cupcake and I didnt!"). Am I mistaken in thinking that as a business owner, I do have a right to say what my food policies are with the kids in care? We talked about this at the interview and they signed a contract agreeing to my policies....so what would it be surprising to them when I start enforcing them? Like I said, the parents said nothing about the junk being sent home the first OR second day. I know they used the same lunch box and saw what I sent home. So far, they dont care enough to address the issue again either. It was just my husband piping in with the comment that annoyed me.

As for your skim milk issue, if the parents sent skim and you dont require whole then yes, its not for you to then say anything about it. But what if the parents SIGNED your food policy saying that whole milk would be provided? Isnt that a different situation where you would have the right to require whole be provided? Why would I even take the time to write out and discuss my food policies if I was then not going to enforce them? Maybe you will feel differently glen when you have been in business longer. After numerous years of caring for kids, I know my contract has unfortunately gotten longer. The food policy started because parents were sending candy and gum for lunch and that definitely had to be stopped!

I do not say ANYTHING about what kids eat or do at home except for the rare instance where the thing being done is affecting behavior or something at daycare. I think it is only my business when it affects my business...and having a sugared up hyper kid right before nap time does affect all of us!
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Hunni Bee 02:14 PM 06-09-2012
No I dont think you're doing anything wrong. Your daycare, your rules.

And I agree with that rule. The parents shouldn't be able to fill the kid with junk and sugar on your time. If you provided meals, you wouldn't make a bunch of junk foods. Just because the parents provide meals doesn't mean there can't be a guideline for them.

I have this issue everytime we go on a big field trip and need sack lunches. There's soda, candy, cookies, cake and a sandwich. I let them have one of the snacks from the bag, and then I substitute with my healthier stuff.
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MizzCheryl 02:33 PM 06-09-2012
The thing about working at home is our DHs get to see alot about our job sometimes and it seems they always have a nice opinion even if we don't really want it right then. Men are fixers and sometimes when we just wanna talk... they wanna fix or tell us how we should do it.

Its your biz and your the alpha when it comes to Daycare. Do what you need to and don't even worry about it. The little girl was fine and didn't even care or finish the healthy foods. She wasn't left hungry.
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godiva83 03:10 PM 06-09-2012
No IMO you are doing nothing wrong, you are simply following your policies which were signed previously by the girls parents.
You are not with holding food, just not offering. The girl like you said is not going hungry.
I side with you 100% that is way too much junk food for a child 2 or older. Also, when parents send foods like that it does cause arguments, upset feelings,ect among the children. Perhaps, every Friday you can supply a lunch time treat for all the kids, but it is not needed to have a 'desert' type food ie. little Debbie after every meal. Fruit should be substituted.

Perhaps if it keeps coming up tell the parents again and explain that the policies in place for a number of reasons one of them being nutrition but also because it causes conflicts and upset feelings of the other children in care. What parent would want another child saddened by their actions, right
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Ariana 03:37 PM 06-09-2012
Unless your hubby is running the show and taking care of the kids it's none of his business how you run it!! If the parents are ok with you sending junk back and you feel better about the kid eating better than you should keep doing what feels right to you.
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Unregistered 03:41 PM 06-09-2012
Please do those children a favor and serve your own lunch! Parent's will never get it.

It's just so disgusting the crap people feed their children.I for one,can't stand to watch it so I just have my rates high enough to be able to provide lunch.

Plus you could maybe join a food program. That way no one's feelings get hurt,kids get the proper nutrition and you don't have to worry another minute about it.
They can do whatever they want in their house,in mine I don't serve children junk.Period!
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Former Teacher 05:37 PM 06-09-2012
I am on the fence with this one.

I agree with your DH that it's their choice what they want this child to have. They are the parent. If they wanted their child to have chips and dip at 8:00 am that's THEIR choice. Would a normal sane person do that? Of course not.

I remember at my former center this 4 year old boy brought a small package of donuts for morning snack. That is what his mother sent him so I gave it to him. My former director was FURIOUS with me. She was saying that because I overloaded him with sugar he was going to be a beast all morning/day, which he was not by the way. I only gave it to him because it was a breakfast food. If it had been cookies or a cupcake then no.

With that being said: they did sign your contract about your policies. They are well aware of them. I would just keep on doing what you are doing.

I think they are just pushing your buttons
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dave4him 05:51 PM 06-09-2012
Toss the junk food and feed them whatever you said you were going to.
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Abigail 05:52 PM 06-09-2012
I think what you're doing is fine, but I would tell the parents you need to talk about what junk food is. HONESTLY, I'm a fast food junkie and some things I eat I don't consider junk food because I know their is more junkier junk food out there, LOL. I needed to be taught what is junk food and what isn't. I would approach this with a letter posted for all parents just a reminder about food from home and this doesn't target any one parent.

You can include other things besides supplying healthy food, not junk food, like wash and dry lunch boxes at least weekly. Have all lunches labeled. Make sure you use spill-proof containers. Then maybe you can include a food pyramid or something educational about foods like healthy-easy-meals or snacks to make.

If that doesn't help, I would be talking to the parent after a week. Sometimes it takes a week before they get a chance to grocery shop. You could also send home a sample of two weeks worth of menu's that ARE healthy to give ideas. What would you serve? Type it up and send it home and maybe you'll start seeing some of the menu options appear in the lunch boxes! I would make sure the parent understands that it's not okay to continue sending junk food.
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youretooloud 06:51 PM 06-09-2012
I would have a hard time letting other kids have a treat like than when the rest are eating healthy.

The parents can find a middle ground. You can too.

It's hard to learn what "healthy" meals are when you don't eat healthy. But, some people overdo "healthy" a little bit.

The Little Debbies would be a no go here....but, a cookie is fine. I make my kid's lunches, and they get a cookie every single day. (or some type of treat) The juice, I'd have let her have. The chips, I'd have let her have some of those.

There are some really awesome websites with cool lunch ideas. It can be a lot of fun to creatively pack a lunch for a child. They just need some inspiration, and maybe some helpful hints.

I would eat Peanut butter and jelly EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. if I could. Maybe they could just creatively give her some old standbys, like PBJ in different shapes, or string cheese... so many great and fun ways to make a lunch. Especially if they put it in a lunch container that's easy to open and use.

http://easylunchboxes.smugmug.com/Th...960659&k=xSuiV Maybe show them a link like this, and they will see some new ideas.
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jojosmommy 07:37 PM 06-09-2012
First off, tell your husband to butt out. Your daycare, your rules.

Second, why are kids providing lunches anyway? I don't understand this deal. Can you get on the food program and offer healthy kids to everyone?

Finally, I would not like offering the kids that junk at daycare either. Especially becuase of the fighting it will cause, and because it is unecessary to feed kids that crap. I do think however if you keep sending it home the parents will move on to another place where they won't get crap for feeding their kids this junk. I personally have never fed my kids Little Debbies (NOT ONCE) and I have also never purchased juice for my kids, outside of the occassional prune for bm issues. I think people choose to be unhealthy and like most else no matter how much we tell them they will still parent their kids however they wish. Sad for the kids.
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BusyBee 07:40 PM 06-09-2012
Originally Posted by glenechogirl:
Just my opinion, but if the parents agreed to it in your policies/contract then I suppose you do have the right to not give it because they agreed to that.

However, if I were the parent, I would chose a different provider. Sorry but I agree with your husband that you don't have the right to enforce your own parenting on this family. Yes a Little Debbie is junk, but that's fine in moderation. If she's eating a healthy lunch and has a dessert with it that's fine, but again, that's my parenting.

Also, she could be napping longer partly because she's exhausted from the new stimulation at daycare, that in itself is exhausting and causes my dckids to all sleep much longer here than at home, regardless of diet.
Moderation is not everyday. Esp. at that age--it's a lot of sugar for a little one.
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sharlan 09:06 PM 06-09-2012
Tell your dh that if he wants to run your business, you'll be happy to get a job outside of the home.

There's a very simple solution to your problem - no food from home. I have always fed my kids from the beginning. I never wanted to hassle with Johnny got a cupcake and Susie got carrot sticks.

Any food from home has to be enough for all the kids. I have a mother who's brought donuts twice this year. We had her donuts for breakfast with milk. I guarantee you, it didn't harm anyone. Now, had her son come in with a donut for himself, it would have gone straight into his backpack.

I have a SA who liked to save his chips or snack from his lunch and eat it here for snack. I didn't say anything the first couple of times. The next time he did it, I pulled out ice cream for the others. No, you can't have ice cream, you just had chips. You can have apple slices or carrots. After that, he saved his fruit for his snack. (Yes, I know that was mean. But that's the only way I can get my point across to him.)
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akpayne 05:32 AM 06-10-2012
I dont know maybe Im in the minority here but if you are requiring parents to pack a lunch it seems a little hypocritical to then turn around and make a decision about what is or is not appropriate. Do I think that is a healthy lunch for a child that age? No. However, if you have made the choice to not provide lunch I dont really think it is any of your concern.
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Kaddidle Care 05:52 AM 06-10-2012
I'm in a Center and we pull the sweet treats from lunches and serve them after naptime as a snack. Then they go outside to burn it off. They are allowed 1 sweet treat. If they have multiples they get a choice and the rest goes home. We've never had a parent complain that their child didn't get to eat their sweets.

Does your hubby work with you? If he does then schedule an errand after lunch for yourself and let him feed them the sweets and deal with the chaos that ensues when it's time to get them down for nap.

If it is totally your business then that's what it is. I don't tell my husband how to do his work and he doesn't tell me how to do mine. It's worked out pretty well for 27 years now so this isn't a trial thing for me.

Best wishes getting him to butt out and let you do what you need to do.
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saltmom75 06:04 AM 06-10-2012
I don't think you did anything wrong, per se, but what I have found hard is what I would do for own children isn't what other people do for their children. I would never put my kids to bed with a bottle (or even give them a bottle), but if a mom says to do it I do it. I would never give my kids nothing but milk all day to drink, but if a dad says to do it I mostly do it. lol But those things are not in the contract. So this is where the gray area comes in. Do you want to stick to your guns and your contract, or to you like the child/parents and want to let it slide?
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Former Teacher 06:08 AM 06-10-2012
Originally Posted by akpayne:
I dont know maybe Im in the minority here but if you are requiring parents to pack a lunch it seems a little hypocritical to then turn around and make a decision about what is or is not appropriate. Do I think that is a healthy lunch for a child that age? No. However, if you have made the choice to not provide lunch I dont really think it is any of your concern.


My point exactly. However the part that I am on the fence with is the fact that the parent agreed to follow policies. They are not agreeing to this. If you aren't going to agree, why sign?
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Kiki 06:41 AM 06-10-2012
Originally Posted by Former Teacher:
. If they wanted their child to have chips and dip at 8:00 am that's THEIR choice. Would a normal sane person do that? Of course not.
I semi agree with this, however, I semi don't. I have had several children arrive in my home at 7:00-8:00 in the morning with chips, donuts, and even a couple of times candy. Every single time they have been taken away, put in a zip lock baggie with their name on them, and put up in the closet until pick up. Sure it's the parents choice to give it to their children, however, once they enter my home it is my rules on to what food they eat, not the parents.(Unless of course it is an allergy/diet issue.) If they want to give them junk like that for breakfast they can do it before they enter my home. I also have a very strict no food from home policy though, and I can't speak for other providers.

Originally Posted by Abigail:
I think what you're doing is fine, but I would tell the parents you need to talk about what junk food is. I would approach this with a letter posted for all parents just a reminder about food from home and this doesn't target any one parent.

You can include other things besides supplying healthy food, not junk food, like wash and dry lunch boxes at least weekly. Have all lunches labeled. Make sure you use spill-proof containers. Then maybe you can include a food pyramid or something educational about foods like healthy-easy-meals or snacks to make.

If that doesn't help, I would be talking to the parent after a week. Sometimes it takes a week before they get a chance to grocery shop. You could also send home a sample of two weeks worth of menu's that ARE healthy to give ideas. What would you serve? Type it up and send it home and maybe you'll start seeing some of the menu options appear in the lunch boxes! I would make sure the parent understands that it's not okay to continue sending junk food.
I would try this as well.
I don't think sending the treats home with the parents is wrong, and if the parents haven't mentioned anything about it, they might not be seeing anything wrong with it either. IMHO-do what is best for you, not what is best for your husband here, you're the one that is running this show, thank him for his opinion, and move forward with your own choice.

Do you mind if I ask why you don't participate in a food program, and why the lunches from home?
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Blackcat31 06:50 AM 06-10-2012
Originally Posted by akpayne:
I dont know maybe Im in the minority here but if you are requiring parents to pack a lunch it seems a little hypocritical to then turn around and make a decision about what is or is not appropriate. Do I think that is a healthy lunch for a child that age? No. However, if you have made the choice to not provide lunch I dont really think it is any of your concern.
First off, I want to say that I applaud your efforts in trying to make sure the kids in your care have a healthy diet and nutritious lunches.

However, I agree with the others that you don't provide lunches so it is the parents choice to send whatever they want...even a bag of candybars. I think that the arguement that you don't want to deal with the fights of one kid getting a cupcake and another not getting one shouldnt even play into the equation as that is just par for the course if parents HAVE to supply their own lunches.

As far as the thought of sugar making the kid all crazy before lunch, I would address that issue IF it was a problem, which for some kids it isn't a problem...kwim? If this particular little girl gets wound up and won't sleep, then I would approach the parents and talk with them from that angle but I do agree that you shouldn't dictate what a family chooses to feed their child (even if it is absolute crap!).

I also see your point about the approved list of foods and the family reading the contract and agreeing to it. I think if you want to address things from that stand point it would be well within your rights, but I kind of think it is a bit controlling to even have a list of approved foods at all. (But they did agree.)

The fact they agreed to your contract in the first place is what I have trouble getting over. The fact that they agreed kind of negates the other things I said. So I guess I am going to stay on the fence with this as I dont know what I would do since I have never been in this kind of situation. I am on the food program so...

Maybe it is time to simply have a sit down conference with these parents and go over your contract and discuss with them whether or not your program is the right fit for them or not as I am thinking it is not the right place for them.

It would be different if they were totally willing to learn and grow while taking your advice and attempts at improving their child's diet but if they are not open to that, then maybe you should let them go so they can find another provider...kwim?

Oh and as far as your DH goes, mine sometimes does the same thing. I just smile and say "thanks hun, but I got this." and do what I have always done.
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Former Teacher 09:44 AM 06-10-2012
Originally Posted by Kiki:
I semi agree with this, however, I semi don't. I have had several children arrive in my home at 7:00-8:00 in the morning with chips, donuts, and even a couple of times candy. Every single time they have been taken away, put in a zip lock baggie with their name on them, and put up in the closet until pick up. Sure it's the parents choice to give it to their children, however, once they enter my home it is my rules on to what food they eat, not the parents.(Unless of course it is an allergy/diet issue.) If they want to give them junk like that for breakfast they can do it before they enter my home. I also have a very strict no food from home policy though, and I can't speak for other providers.
I totally agree with your statement about your home/rules.

When the children would come into my former center (first thing in the morning) with the chips, cookies, and other crapola, yes indeed absolutely these foods would be put up until lunch or afternoon snack. However breakfast foods: pop tarts, donuts, frosted flakes etc...yes I would serve them. Regardless of their high sugar content.

Bottom line: the problem that I have with this situation is the fact that the parents agreed to a certain policy. They are not respecting the provider by following rules.

On the flip side: there is only so much the OP can do. She can talk to these parents until she is blue in the face. They will continue to send what they want.
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AnneCordelia 01:07 PM 06-10-2012
I think that if you want to control the food that goes into their mouths then you need to supply it.
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MizzCheryl 02:36 PM 06-10-2012
Originally Posted by dave4him:
Toss the junk food and feed them whatever you said you were going to.
Simple as pie (and sweet too)!
They can eat the sweets when your not the one get the side effects.
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saved4always 02:53 PM 06-10-2012
I don't think you are doing anything wrong. I always give the healthiest choices first. Once you give them the junk, they won't eat the stuff that is better for them. When I didn't provide lunches, most of my parents sent well balanced lunches. You said she totally accepts the healthy items so it is not a case of being desperate for an under-size child who refuses to eat to eat something (or anything). There is nothing wrong with sending the junk home...if the parents ask, you can just tell them that she filled up on her healthy stuff so there was no need for the junk.
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saved4always 02:58 PM 06-10-2012
I thought I would add to my above (concerning controlling what the parents send for lunch): I am now working for a center and we do not supply lunches or snacks; the parents have to bring them. It is actually in the rules in the state liscensing that the kids have to have a serving of each food group in their lunches. If they are missing something, we have to supply it and it says in our handbook that the parents will be charged a fee per item. So, while I did not have "rules" about food when I did legally unliscensed care in my home, we do have to have rules at the center per liscensing.
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Sunshine44 04:21 PM 06-10-2012
I personally think that if you are making parents provide a lunch from home that you should have no say in what they pack. Each person needs to jive with their provider, if they decide your rules are too much, well, they will leave. Ignore your husband, but remember you can't control their every move.

I personally wouldn't have signed up with you for the fact that it seems like you are trying to micromanage the parents. I mean, having rules and a contract is great...but sometimes things go a bit far and I personally think this is too much.
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Crazy8 07:02 PM 06-10-2012
I am also one of the few providers here who does not provide lunch. It is in my contract that they are to send in a nutritious lunch for their child and it is NOT to contain chips, sweets or candy. I do NOT feel like I micromanage them - I just don't allow these foods. Not only are they unhealthy but if one kid has them then EVERYONE wants them. And only drink allowed from home is whole milk - because I only provide 2%. I don't get on their case about sending in spaghetti o's or mac n cheese even though I can argue those being nutritious lunches but I draw the line at snacks/desserts. I provide snacks, they provide the meal. If they don't like my rules they can look elsewhere for daycare. I don't know of but 1 home daycare in my area that provides meals. It just isn't done much around here and I could NEVER see it being worth the time and effort for the lousy money the food program gives you. I do not feel its my job to determine how nutritiously parents feed their child but it is my prerogative to say certain foods are not allowed.

In a case where they continually send in the stuff not allowed I would just send it home each day. Its just like the kid who comes in with a toy each day when toys from home are not allowed - it is either handed right back to the parent or left in their bag all day. Since you aren't inspecting the lunch when the parent is there I would just leave it in their bag.
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Kaddidle Care 03:20 AM 06-11-2012
Just curious - do you say anything to the parent that sends their child in with those mini Chef Boyardee things EVERY DAY?

We had one child like that - I swear his Mom must have bought a case of them or something because that's all the child came with day after day. We would mention it to DCD at pick up that the child would whine and fuss because he was sick of it and the parent would just shrug and walk away or say "well he eats them at home".
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countrymom 06:05 AM 06-11-2012
well, I have to agree with your dh.

Unless your going to buy their food for their child to put in a lunch then you shouldn't complain. What you consider junk, they may not consider junk. If you don't like what they have in a lunch bag then you need to start to serve your own lunch.

our school tried to dictate what we can and cannot bring to school (the kids in their lunch bags) well it didn't go far. I pack 4 lunches every day. Do you know how hard its to pack healthy nutritious lunches that will with stand sitting there all day. And our school allows the children to eat for only 15min and then they are pushed outside. also, if this child is eating it in moderation, well then its fine.
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cheerfuldom 06:18 AM 06-11-2012
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Please do those children a favor and serve your own lunch! Parent's will never get it.

It's just so disgusting the crap people feed their children.I for one,can't stand to watch it so I just have my rates high enough to be able to provide lunch.

Plus you could maybe join a food program. That way no one's feelings get hurt,kids get the proper nutrition and you don't have to worry another minute about it.
They can do whatever they want in their house,in mine I don't serve children junk.Period!
I am not licensed so I am not eligible for the food program. Right now it is VERY hard to find kids and if I raise rates in order to provide food, I would surely lose families. My compromise was to provide healthy snacks and parents provide a reasonable lunch.
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cheerfuldom 06:20 AM 06-11-2012
Originally Posted by Abigail:
I think what you're doing is fine, but I would tell the parents you need to talk about what junk food is. HONESTLY, I'm a fast food junkie and some things I eat I don't consider junk food because I know their is more junkier junk food out there, LOL. I needed to be taught what is junk food and what isn't. I would approach this with a letter posted for all parents just a reminder about food from home and this doesn't target any one parent.

You can include other things besides supplying healthy food, not junk food, like wash and dry lunch boxes at least weekly. Have all lunches labeled. Make sure you use spill-proof containers. Then maybe you can include a food pyramid or something educational about foods like healthy-easy-meals or snacks to make.

If that doesn't help, I would be talking to the parent after a week. Sometimes it takes a week before they get a chance to grocery shop. You could also send home a sample of two weeks worth of menu's that ARE healthy to give ideas. What would you serve? Type it up and send it home and maybe you'll start seeing some of the menu options appear in the lunch boxes! I would make sure the parent understands that it's not okay to continue sending junk food.
Thank you for your ideas. I know these parents know better....like I said, we talked at length. They have two teenage boys so its not like they are first time parents. They just say that they are "on the go" all the time and this is what is easiest. The mom is a nurse, trust me, they know nutrition basics. They just chose to do otherwise because it seems easier than slicing fruit.
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cheerfuldom 06:22 AM 06-11-2012
Originally Posted by Kaddidle Care:
I'm in a Center and we pull the sweet treats from lunches and serve them after naptime as a snack. Then they go outside to burn it off. They are allowed 1 sweet treat. If they have multiples they get a choice and the rest goes home. We've never had a parent complain that their child didn't get to eat their sweets.

Does your hubby work with you? If he does then schedule an errand after lunch for yourself and let him feed them the sweets and deal with the chaos that ensues when it's time to get them down for nap.

If it is totally your business then that's what it is. I don't tell my husband how to do his work and he doesn't tell me how to do mine. It's worked out pretty well for 27 years now so this isn't a trial thing for me.

Best wishes getting him to butt out and let you do what you need to do.
No, my hubby does not work with me
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Breezy 06:28 AM 06-11-2012
I dont think youre in the wrong at all. At least youre sending it home and not pitching it! I have encountered the issue in the past and served the snack after nap time. But only if the child is rhe only one of their age group here as it wouldnt be fair if Little Johnny had a cupcake and noone else got one.
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Unregistered 06:29 AM 06-11-2012
Either you serve all meals and snacks and claim the deduction on your taxes or check the lunchboxes when they arrive.
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cheerfuldom 06:31 AM 06-11-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
First off, I want to say that I applaud your efforts in trying to make sure the kids in your care have a healthy diet and nutritious lunches.

However, I agree with the others that you don't provide lunches so it is the parents choice to send whatever they want...even a bag of candybars. I think that the arguement that you don't want to deal with the fights of one kid getting a cupcake and another not getting one shouldnt even play into the equation as that is just par for the course if parents HAVE to supply their own lunches.

As far as the thought of sugar making the kid all crazy before lunch, I would address that issue IF it was a problem, which for some kids it isn't a problem...kwim? If this particular little girl gets wound up and won't sleep, then I would approach the parents and talk with them from that angle but I do agree that you shouldn't dictate what a family chooses to feed their child (even if it is absolute crap!).

I also see your point about the approved list of foods and the family reading the contract and agreeing to it. I think if you want to address things from that stand point it would be well within your rights, but I kind of think it is a bit controlling to even have a list of approved foods at all. (But they did agree.)

The fact they agreed to your contract in the first place is what I have trouble getting over. The fact that they agreed kind of negates the other things I said. So I guess I am going to stay on the fence with this as I dont know what I would do since I have never been in this kind of situation. I am on the food program so...

Maybe it is time to simply have a sit down conference with these parents and go over your contract and discuss with them whether or not your program is the right fit for them or not as I am thinking it is not the right place for them.

It would be different if they were totally willing to learn and grow while taking your advice and attempts at improving their child's diet but if they are not open to that, then maybe you should let them go so they can find another provider...kwim?

Oh and as far as your DH goes, mine sometimes does the same thing. I just smile and say "thanks hun, but I got this." and do what I have always done.
I dont have a list of approved foods....I have a very small list of "no no" foods so its not like I am controlling every single thing that goes into their mouth. I have asked parents to refrain from sending candy, gum, sugary drinks (like soda or high sugar juices), and from sending more than one small treat per lunch. The lunch section is a very small section....I promise I am not a food Nazi about this. The kids get treats but they finish their lunch first and all the parents know this.

This particular girl was sent with a sugary juice drink (no milk, no water for the whole day!) and TWO treats that were adult sized portions in my perspective. She didnt have any of the treats because she didnt eat her lunch first.

The parents have said that the previous provider had an issue with naps for this girl and I believe the unhealthy food was a part of the problem which is why I mentioned the nap improvement.

I am not willing to have another conversation about lunches (there already have been three) because it is obvious to me that the parents are going to do their thing no matter what. I dont want to lose this family over being super super strict about lunches so my compromise is to send home the junk (or limit what she does have here).

Again, I cannot provide lunches for all the kids at this time. I cannot get licensed until I can pay for a few home improvements and with a baby on the way, I cannot afford these right now. Hopefully the lunch program will be an option in the future!
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cheerfuldom 06:44 AM 06-11-2012
Originally Posted by Kaddidle Care:
Just curious - do you say anything to the parent that sends their child in with those mini Chef Boyardee things EVERY DAY?

We had one child like that - I swear his Mom must have bought a case of them or something because that's all the child came with day after day. We would mention it to DCD at pick up that the child would whine and fuss because he was sick of it and the parent would just shrug and walk away or say "well he eats them at home".
I have had some parents that provide Lunchables, UnCrustables, little microwavable meals and such....and I serve them. Like I said, I am not a crazy over the top healthy person with the kids. I do have a few "no" items and I really dont think its unreasonable to live within the like five rules that I have. I microwave if needed, put lunches in the fridge (it doesnt have to sit out all day) and do other small things like slicing items so I do try to help out as much as possible. Is it really so hard to put in a banana (that I will peel and slice for the kid)? Thats actually easier than filling a sandwich bag with chips I would think.
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cheerfuldom 07:08 AM 06-11-2012
well she just showed up and lunch included the sugary juice but only one snack (instead of two or three). I will make sure she gets water and milk during snack time and then water down the juice for lunch. Hold off on the treat till she eats everything else. That follows my policies while still being a compromise for the parents I think.
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Blackcat31 07:15 AM 06-11-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
well she just showed up and lunch included the sugary juice but only one snack (instead of two or three). I will make sure she gets water and milk during snack time and then water down the juice for lunch. Hold off on the treat till she eats everything else. That follows my policies while still being a compromise for the parents I think.
Ya know after all this, I think you are more and more in the right and although the parent has every right to feed their child whatever crap they wish, I can totally see how it is YOUR problem when they do.

Maybe you could tell them water/milk is the ONLY acceptable drink they can send and just keep returning the "junk food" they do send.
I would maybe even go so far as to make a comment or two to them about how their DD is not always full after lunch and when they ask why, you can say that it is because they aren't sending enough healthy foods for her to eat....ya know, kinda just passing the issue back to them.

I am sure they would compensate by adding twice the junk food than they already send but I would just keep sending it home and at pick up each day say "Her 'junk food' is in her bag" and then smile sweetly.

Maybe, just maybe, they might "see the light". If not, then just keep doing what your doing.
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MizzCheryl 01:29 PM 06-11-2012
You could send them a little list of ideas of healthy things the other kids bring. They may just not know any good ideas of things their daughter could bring that would be easy. Especially if they are new to packing healthy lunches.
I mean it could be worth a shot.
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My3cents 03:15 PM 06-11-2012
read about half the replies and then decided to post myself......

my 3cents is.........

join a food program. You will be reimbursed and its easy and then you have someone else to blame for making good choices when it comes to nutrition.

I have done it both ways, had the kids bring lunch from home, and served.

It is hard when our husbands don't support us the way that we need.

If the parents are providing. It is very hard to tell them what to bring.

Occasionally junk foods are ok, in moderation. Sugar will set them up for a high and bring them down fast- all depends on the kid, person.

I do feel it is your business and you should run it the way that you want. Maybe print off a list of what foods you find acceptable, and ones that you don't want to see at care. This makes it clear to your parents and also gives you something to fall back on.

Best-
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cheerfuldom 03:33 PM 06-11-2012
Originally Posted by My3cents:
read about half the replies and then decided to post myself......

my 3cents is.........

join a food program. You will be reimbursed and its easy and then you have someone else to blame for making good choices when it comes to nutrition.

I have done it both ways, had the kids bring lunch from home, and served.

It is hard when our husbands don't support us the way that we need.

If the parents are providing. It is very hard to tell them what to bring.

Occasionally junk foods are ok, in moderation. Sugar will set them up for a high and bring them down fast- all depends on the kid, person.

I do feel it is your business and you should run it the way that you want. Maybe print off a list of what foods you find acceptable, and ones that you don't want to see at care. This makes it clear to your parents and also gives you something to fall back on.

Best-
Again, I CANNOT join a food program because I am unlicensed. That is not an option for me.
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daycare 03:40 PM 06-11-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
Again, I CANNOT join a food program because I am unlicensed. That is not an option for me.
I agree with what you are doing....I don't allow junk food...This is my business and my rules. I don't contribute to UNHEALTHY choices....if you want to give your kid crap, YOU give it to them on your time. I don't care who is providing the food. If you set guidelines, then they should be honored.

I am on the food program, but even if I were not, I would not allow parents to send junk food. I am the one who has to deal with the children and I am NOT going to give them junky food that will cause them to have sugar or carb crashes and then have to deal with the behavior. AND YES food does effect a persons mood and behavior. Look at all of the kids out there with ADD/ADHD.

I say you keep on doing what you are doing...... I think it is a GREAT thing to teach these kids at an early age what is healthy and what is not......
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cheerfuldom 03:59 PM 06-11-2012
okay I said that today they only sent one treat.....

but then at the end of the day I saw a giant box of candy in her diaper bag. The kind you get at the movie theater. They know that candy will NOT be given here. Maybe they just use it to bribe her during the car ride to and from but still, that was a huge box of candy!
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daycare 04:05 PM 06-11-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
okay I said that today they only sent one treat.....

but then at the end of the day I saw a giant box of candy in her diaper bag. The kind you get at the movie theater. They know that candy will NOT be given here. Maybe they just use it to bribe her during the car ride to and from but still, that was a huge box of candy!
ugh.........I hate candy..............Really I do.....
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Crystal 04:54 PM 06-11-2012
I think you are well within your rights to enforce your policy. I am a little taken aback by the responses here regarding you being wrong in dictating what is and is not acceptable lunch foods.

To those of you who say she should not dictate what is in the lunch.....if the child brought an ice cream, would you let her eat it in front of the other kids ( especially YOUR kid)? If the situation was another child in care having a food allergy, to say, peanuts and the parents continuously sent in peanuts in this child's lunch....going against policy and putting another child at risk, would you say the provider has no right to dictate what is brought in the meal? Would THAT be okay for the parent to disregard? If the child brought in nothing BUT junk food, would you say the provider should still feed it to her and not attempt to enforce her policy?

Bottom line here is the parents are not following policy. I highly doubt ONE SINGLE PROVIDER here would appreciate a parent not following any policy you have, so why should it be any different for this provider?

Keep doing what you're doing. Although I would confront the issue. I would tell them I do not appreciate them disregarding a policy we have covered on more than one occassion and to NOT let it happen again.
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saved4always 05:14 PM 06-11-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
okay I said that today they only sent one treat.....

but then at the end of the day I saw a giant box of candy in her diaper bag. The kind you get at the movie theater. They know that candy will NOT be given here. Maybe they just use it to bribe her during the car ride to and from but still, that was a huge box of candy!
I would just assume that the candy is just left over from the weekend when they went to the movies. Some of the children I have watched have had things in their diaper bags that were probably not meant for me because they used the bag themselves when it was not at my house.
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daycare 05:22 PM 06-11-2012




SORRY THIS WAS IN REGARDS TO CRYSTALS POST!!!!!!
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LittleD 05:34 PM 06-11-2012
IMO I think your are in the right!

Little Debbies is not a snack, it's a treat!

No chocolate/candy garbage!

If you (the parents) want your kids to have treats, feed it to them yourself at home!

I wouldn't allow it either, if they had to bring lunches!
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Candyland 05:50 PM 06-11-2012
Originally Posted by youretooloud:

http://easylunchboxes.smugmug.com/Th...960659&k=xSuiV Maybe show them a link like this, and they will see some new ideas.
Ooooohhh - these look great! Anyone use these??
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cheerfuldom 08:20 PM 06-11-2012
Originally Posted by Crystal:
I think you are well within your rights to enforce your policy. I am a little taken aback by the responses here regarding you being wrong in dictating what is and is not acceptable lunch foods.

To those of you who say she should not dictate what is in the lunch.....if the child brought an ice cream, would you let her eat it in front of the other kids ( especially YOUR kid)? If the situation was another child in care having a food allergy, to say, peanuts and the parents continuously sent in peanuts in this child's lunch....going against policy and putting another child at risk, would you say the provider has no right to dictate what is brought in the meal? Would THAT be okay for the parent to disregard? If the child brought in nothing BUT junk food, would you say the provider should still feed it to her and not attempt to enforce her policy?

Bottom line here is the parents are not following policy. I highly doubt ONE SINGLE PROVIDER here would appreciate a parent not following any policy you have, so why should it be any different for this provider?

Keep doing what you're doing. Although I would confront the issue. I would tell them I do not appreciate them disregarding a policy we have covered on more than one occassion and to NOT let it happen again.
Thank you!

I was surprised at some of the responses too but its okay if we disagree. This post has not changed my mind or made me feel that I was in the wrong, even if other providers thought I was.

I am NOT dictating what the parents should feed their child. I AM setting boundaries for what I will and will not serve when the child is in my care. I think that is the big difference that a lot of posters are missing.
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3swirls 09:00 PM 06-11-2012
If you are able to afford to offer them better choices, how about you just supply the lunch and have the parents bring in an afternoon snack for the child. That way all the kids can eat the same foods and you can see to it they get the healthiest option?the they can have the junk food later on after nap!
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Kaddidle Care 04:31 AM 06-12-2012
http://easylunchboxes.smugmug.com/Th...914291&k=YxmUd

Originally Posted by Candyland:
Ooooohhh - these look great! Anyone use these??
Never saw them before but they look similar to one I found and added to our website. I'm going to add that one too.
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CheekyChick 04:54 AM 06-12-2012
In my opinion, the only way you can assure a child will eat healthy is to provide lunch. If you require the parents to pack a lunch, you WILL get junk food and juices - regardless of what you've asked of them.

I would put a reminder in the lunch box and leave it at that. If they are going to pack a lunch, they should be able to send what they please.
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Blackcat31 06:55 AM 06-12-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
Thank you!

I was surprised at some of the responses too but its okay if we disagree. This post has not changed my mind or made me feel that I was in the wrong, even if other providers thought I was.

I am NOT dictating what the parents should feed their child. I AM setting boundaries for what I will and will not serve when the child is in my care. I think that is the big difference that a lot of posters are missing.
Cheer, can I ask you what exactly is said to parents that are interviewing in regards to lunches and what types of foods are sent?

What is the wording you use? Are you actually giving a specific list of things they cannot send or are you simply saying "no junk food"?

I really think this may be where the confusion lies. If you want to set boundaries for what types of food is allowed and not allowed, I almost think it needs to literally be spelled out as I have several families who I know think Little Debbies are ok as a bread/grain component.....or that fruit snacks made from 100% juice concentrate is part of the fruit/veggie group....kwim?

I don't think providers are mis-understanding what the situation is but more that you parents might be mis-interpreting what is and isn't ok to send. I may be wrong but I was just curious as to what the wording is you use or have in print that outlines your lunch rules.
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familyschoolcare 07:15 AM 06-12-2012
OP I am confussed so you do not even supply watter?
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daycare 08:01 AM 06-12-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Cheer, can I ask you what exactly is said to parents that are interviewing in regards to lunches and what types of foods are sent?

What is the wording you use? Are you actually giving a specific list of things they cannot send or are you simply saying "no junk food"?

I really think this may be where the confusion lies. If you want to set boundaries for what types of food is allowed and not allowed, I almost think it needs to literally be spelled out as I have several families who I know think Little Debbies are ok as a bread/grain component.....or that fruit snacks made from 100% juice concentrate is part of the fruit/veggie group....kwim?

I don't think providers are mis-understanding what the situation is but more that you parents might be mis-interpreting what is and isn't ok to send. I may be wrong but I was just curious as to what the wording is you use or have in print that outlines your lunch rules.
BC this is a very good point....
I have families that think that if you just get the apples instead of the fries in a happy meal that it is ok to eat at MC Donalds every day.

OP- Maybe you can create a list of items they can or CAN NOT send their child. Years ago when I did not have the food program, I used to have a list of items that they could bring. Most of the parents did follow it, some did not.

NOt that you want to do it, but I think that unless you provide your own food, you are always going to get someone NOT following the food request. Which could be for many reasons. Money being one of them.

When I was coaching sports, I made a list of items that I wanted families to take turns bringing for snack at the games. Often I family would bring these fruit drink boxes that contained 42 grams of sugar. WOW!! So I asked the family why would you buy those? They said, well we always buy whatever is cheapest. I just grinned and realized that maybe they could not afford the healthier options........
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SilverSabre25 09:15 AM 06-12-2012
To cut down on at least part of the problem, how about you have the parents send just the food and you supply the drinks--cups of water, all around! That eliminates the drink problem.

Could you give a sample formula for the lunches, such as, "Your child's packed lunch should contain healthful options such as fresh fruit, fresh veggies, a sandwich on whole grain bread, a meat/cheese/yogurt/other protein. Any high-sugar items/treats are highly discouraged and will only be given after all other components are finished." You could add that, "This recommendation is based on the federal food program guidelines for children's meals." If you don't want to offer water with the meal, then include a line about them needing to include a bottle/thermos of water or milk."

You could also say, "Children's lunches should be healthy and well-rounded, including at minimum, two servings of fruit/veggies, one of a grain product (such as whole grain bread, crackers, pretzels, etc) , and one of a protein product (such as meat, cheese, yogurt, nuts, beans, etc)."

You could always have the ingredients for a healthy lunch on hand (peanut butter, jelly, whole grain bread, string cheese, apples, carrots) and if the lunch they send is not acceptable then you provide the lunch for $5 a pop and send the uneaten lunch home.
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cheerfuldom 09:20 AM 06-12-2012
Originally Posted by 3swirls:
If you are able to afford to offer them better choices, how about you just supply the lunch and have the parents bring in an afternoon snack for the child. That way all the kids can eat the same foods and you can see to it they get the healthiest option?the they can have the junk food later on after nap!
I cant afford to provide lunch. I have open spots right now and it is very hard to find replacements. Down the road, I will be able to provide lunch with the help of the food program!
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cheerfuldom 09:23 AM 06-12-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Cheer, can I ask you what exactly is said to parents that are interviewing in regards to lunches and what types of foods are sent?

What is the wording you use? Are you actually giving a specific list of things they cannot send or are you simply saying "no junk food"?

I really think this may be where the confusion lies. If you want to set boundaries for what types of food is allowed and not allowed, I almost think it needs to literally be spelled out as I have several families who I know think Little Debbies are ok as a bread/grain component.....or that fruit snacks made from 100% juice concentrate is part of the fruit/veggie group....kwim?

I don't think providers are mis-understanding what the situation is but more that you parents might be mis-interpreting what is and isn't ok to send. I may be wrong but I was just curious as to what the wording is you use or have in print that outlines your lunch rules.
I have a short but specific list of foods that are not allowed. Sugary juices and candy are specified on the list and both of these items were brought! I also ask that snack items such as cupcakes, cookies, chips, etc. be limited to one item per lunch, if provided at all and these parents have sent two or three of these items per lunch. I get what you are saying.....but I am rounding the corner to 6 years of home daycare so my contract is very thorough. These are the same parents that complained that my contract was too strict and too explicit. They wanted the loophole and couldnt find it so I believe they sent the junk anyway just to see what I would do about it....if I would allow it or not.
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cheerfuldom 09:25 AM 06-12-2012
Originally Posted by familyschoolcare:
OP I am confussed so you do not even supply watter?
Of course I supply water! Water and milk at snack times if the kids need it. I said in a previous post that I did not give this kid her sugary juice one day, just substituted with water (because of the high sugar content in the rest of her lunch). They did not send her any water or milk in her cup. I either just give her water or milk or I water down the juice that is sent.
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cheerfuldom 09:29 AM 06-12-2012
Originally Posted by daycare:
BC this is a very good point....
I have families that think that if you just get the apples instead of the fries in a happy meal that it is ok to eat at MC Donalds every day.

OP- Maybe you can create a list of items they can or CAN NOT send their child. Years ago when I did not have the food program, I used to have a list of items that they could bring. Most of the parents did follow it, some did not.

NOt that you want to do it, but I think that unless you provide your own food, you are always going to get someone NOT following the food request. Which could be for many reasons. Money being one of them.

When I was coaching sports, I made a list of items that I wanted families to take turns bringing for snack at the games. Often I family would bring these fruit drink boxes that contained 42 grams of sugar. WOW!! So I asked the family why would you buy those? They said, well we always buy whatever is cheapest. I just grinned and realized that maybe they could not afford the healthier options........
Again, I have a SPECIFIC list outlined in my contract. It is short but specific. How much more specific can I be besides saying "Do not send candy in your child's lunch or with your child to daycare". I know what these parents do for a living. One is a nurse, one works for a university, both well paying jobs. They have their older kids in a lot of extra activities....trust me, they can pay for a bit healthier options. Besides, I dont put much stock in the "healthy food is too expensive". Bananas were $.37 a lb at the grocery store last night. Apples not much more expensive. A heck of lot cheaper than Little Debbies, large boxes of candy, name brand kid juices.
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cheerfuldom 09:30 AM 06-12-2012
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
To cut down on at least part of the problem, how about you have the parents send just the food and you supply the drinks--cups of water, all around! That eliminates the drink problem.

Could you give a sample formula for the lunches, such as, "Your child's packed lunch should contain healthful options such as fresh fruit, fresh veggies, a sandwich on whole grain bread, a meat/cheese/yogurt/other protein. Any high-sugar items/treats are highly discouraged and will only be given after all other components are finished." You could add that, "This recommendation is based on the federal food program guidelines for children's meals." If you don't want to offer water with the meal, then include a line about them needing to include a bottle/thermos of water or milk."

You could also say, "Children's lunches should be healthy and well-rounded, including at minimum, two servings of fruit/veggies, one of a grain product (such as whole grain bread, crackers, pretzels, etc) , and one of a protein product (such as meat, cheese, yogurt, nuts, beans, etc)."

You could always have the ingredients for a healthy lunch on hand (peanut butter, jelly, whole grain bread, string cheese, apples, carrots) and if the lunch they send is not acceptable then you provide the lunch for $5 a pop and send the uneaten lunch home.
thank you for your ideas. I do provider drinks....water, milk, occasionally no suger juices if I find it on sale. I do like the idea of substituting healthy items and charging for it if necessary. That will be something to keep in mind for the future.....
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My3cents 09:34 AM 06-12-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
Again, I CANNOT join a food program because I am unlicensed. That is not an option for me.
Again answering before reading replies-

Is getting your license an option for you? Check into it, you might be legal as unlicensed and able to join. I don't think so but check further into it.

I feel it is your home your rules, your policy, your business. I would continue to send home food that is not allowed but make it clear by giving them a list of foods that are acceptable, and foods that are not- or charge more and just serve your own meals. Parents are going to figure it out when they are buying food that the child is not allowed to eat go to waste. I would offer healthy replacement so that they can't say your not allowing the child to eat-

best-
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My3cents 09:37 AM 06-12-2012
Originally Posted by daycare:
I agree with what you are doing....I don't allow junk food...This is my business and my rules. I don't contribute to UNHEALTHY choices....if you want to give your kid crap, YOU give it to them on your time. I don't care who is providing the food. If you set guidelines, then they should be honored.

I am on the food program, but even if I were not, I would not allow parents to send junk food. I am the one who has to deal with the children and I am NOT going to give them junky food that will cause them to have sugar or carb crashes and then have to deal with the behavior. AND YES food does effect a persons mood and behavior. Look at all of the kids out there with ADD/ADHD.

I say you keep on doing what you are doing...... I think it is a GREAT thing to teach these kids at an early age what is healthy and what is not......
I agree with this too. I also feel your educating the parents not just the kids. Some parents just do not know for whatever reason. They grew up on junk food, they are lazy, they don't cook etc....
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cheerfuldom 09:44 AM 06-12-2012
Originally Posted by My3cents:
Again answering before reading replies-

Is getting your license an option for you? Check into it, you might be legal as unlicensed and able to join. I don't think so but check further into it.

I feel it is your home your rules, your policy, your business. I would continue to send home food that is not allowed but make it clear by giving them a list of foods that are acceptable, and foods that are not- or charge more and just serve your own meals. Parents are going to figure it out when they are buying food that the child is not allowed to eat go to waste. I would offer healthy replacement so that they can't say your not allowing the child to eat-

best-
No licensing is not an option right now. I did put in another post that I cannot get licensed until I do some home improvements. Cant do those till I have more money...aka more kids here. Plus I have a baby due in Nov and do not want to pursue home improvements, inspections, etc. when I am already almost half way thru this pregnancy.
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My3cents 09:49 AM 06-12-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
Thank you!

I was surprised at some of the responses too but its okay if we disagree. This post has not changed my mind or made me feel that I was in the wrong, even if other providers thought I was.

I am NOT dictating what the parents should feed their child. I AM setting boundaries for what I will and will not serve when the child is in my care. I think that is the big difference that a lot of posters are missing.
I am with you on this.......your doing a good thing. I too feel you need to verbally address it again until it sinks in.

I feel the parents are looking at it as that they feel they are buying the food they will buy what they want, what they can afford, and what they know. That does not make it right, but you need to teach them what is acceptable to your program. Print out a list of what is acceptable and what is not in your program. If anyone had an issue with it, I would serve them lunch and charge them a weekly fee that will cover the expense of the food. Then you know what they are eating because it is what you are eating.

For me I am allowed two sweet treats a week on my food program. I never do this. I only do cupcakes or something for when a child has a birthday. Parents are amazed because the kids eat a wide variety of fruits and vegetables. Why? Because I serve them- they are exposed to them. They see me eat them.
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My3cents 10:08 AM 06-12-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I cant afford to provide lunch. I have open spots right now and it is very hard to find replacements. Down the road, I will be able to provide lunch with the help of the food program!
up your prices enough to cover it. The sooner you can get on the food program the better you will be. Its a little work but it well worth it.

Your not stuck, you have choices. I wish you the best.
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cheerfuldom 10:16 AM 06-12-2012
Originally Posted by My3cents:
up your prices enough to cover it. The sooner you can get on the food program the better you will be. Its a little work but it well worth it.

Your not stuck, you have choices. I wish you the best.
I upped my price about 18 months ago to start offering snacks because of similar issues. Parents providing absolute junk for kids as young as 9 months. Worse than what I have already described. Anyway, I posted another thread about actually having to reduce my current full time rate just this week in order to compete with the local daycare chaos here. Feel free to read and contribute ideas!

All that to say that upping my current rate will result in losing families. I know this 100% for sure. I am already at the high end (I just lowered to $130 a week, but many many new daycares are charging $90 to $125 a week). This is the best I can do for now.
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familyschoolcare 10:34 AM 06-12-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
Of course I supply water! Water and milk at snack times if the kids need it. I said in a previous post that I did not give this kid her sugary juice one day, just substituted with water (because of the high sugar content in the rest of her lunch). They did not send her any water or milk in her cup. I either just give her water or milk or I water down the juice that is sent.
Thank you for clearing that up I was confussed by what you meant by parents did not send water.
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cheerfuldom 10:37 AM 06-12-2012
Originally Posted by familyschoolcare:
Thank you for clearing that up I was confussed by what you meant by parents did not send water.
Oh! I was confused too....I meant that the parents send an empty cup. No water, no milk for the whole day unless I provide it, which I will. I'm not so strict and mean hearted to a let a kid go without the essentials. They do send her one of those squeeze juices for lunch but even that is not enough liquids for her. She's only 2 and the weather is pushing over 90 degress in the afternoon.
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daycare 10:38 AM 06-12-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
Again, I have a SPECIFIC list outlined in my contract. It is short but specific. How much more specific can I be besides saying "Do not send candy in your child's lunch or with your child to daycare". I know what these parents do for a living. One is a nurse, one works for a university, both well paying jobs. They have their older kids in a lot of extra activities....trust me, they can pay for a bit healthier options. Besides, I dont put much stock in the "healthy food is too expensive". Bananas were $.37 a lb at the grocery store last night. Apples not much more expensive. A heck of lot cheaper than Little Debbies, large boxes of candy, name brand kid juices.
just because the parents have good jobs does not mean that they spend their money right. I have friends that are doctors that cant afford to even go to the movies or simple things because they are so in over their heads in debt. In fact they happen to be one of the families that was buying the junk juice at the soccer games.

They just don't always have their priorities straight....
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familyschoolcare 10:41 AM 06-12-2012
Op --

How is no surgary drinks listed on the do not send foods list.

If it is listed as no surgary drinks then it might help to spell out what you mean. Many people think that juice that says made with real juice is good for you with out reading the label to learn that it only has 10% juice and some flavorings and some sugar added. NOt sure if that will help.

FYI- I have a similair policy. However, I supply food and children can bring a sanck or eat what ever is left in thier lunch. I only allow the children to eat one treat food (non-growing food) a day regaurdless to how long they are in my care that day the rest just goes home. Another thinkg to point out to parents that might not understand why you are enforcing these guidlines is that as a child care provider or a "teacher" you need to set a good example, and deminstrate good eating habits.
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Unregistered 11:02 AM 06-12-2012
Raise your rates by 5 or 10 bucks a week to compensate for meals. At tax time you can claim the breakfasts, lunches and snacks youve served....regardless of licensing.
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Blackcat31 11:06 AM 06-12-2012
Cheer~

(((((Hugs))))) what a mess! I feel for you!

Maybe let the kid eat what they send but tell the parents if she is too sugared up to take a proper nap they will have to come and get her.......unless, they would rather just send her with good wholesome nutritious foods that promote good sleeping habits and healthy energy levels to play and have fun.

I agree that you might be on to something with them simply trying to find the loopholes. Maybe you could also suggest to them that if they don't want to send lunches, they could pay you a lunch fee of $25-$50 per week to cover her lunch costs.

Would they take you up on that as it sounds like their monetary situation is not the issue and it is more just laziness than anything.
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Unregistered 09:09 PM 06-12-2012
Can I chime in as "just" a mom? I would never hear the end of it from my two-yr-old if her day are friends were allowed to eat cake in their lunches every day. Believe me, I would hear the jealous rages! . I really appreciate that our daycare provider specifies healthy lunches, within reason. (But I did tease them one time for providing eggo waffles as a snack one time!)

From my perspective, you folks have to create a culture where the kids see each others' lunches. Obviously there will be envy sometimes but I would have a serious parenting issue if my dd saw other kids with little Debbie's and juice boxes. Yuck.
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My3cents 10:33 AM 06-13-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I upped my price about 18 months ago to start offering snacks because of similar issues. Parents providing absolute junk for kids as young as 9 months. Worse than what I have already described. Anyway, I posted another thread about actually having to reduce my current full time rate just this week in order to compete with the local daycare chaos here. Feel free to read and contribute ideas!

All that to say that upping my current rate will result in losing families. I know this 100% for sure. I am already at the high end (I just lowered to $130 a week, but many many new daycares are charging $90 to $125 a week). This is the best I can do for now.
Put it back on the parent. Give them the list of do's and don't's and then give them the choice of sending the proper lunch that you require or you will serve lunch for the extra price of........ however much you think that would be to cover your cost. I still recommend getting on the food program as soon as you can.

Its hard to go through the process of finding a new daycare, and most parents don't want to be shuffling their child around. Keep your prices fair and for the most part don't worry about what other providers are charging. If your good at what you do parents will stay- If you already provide milk, serving a breakfast, lunch and snack should not be that much more then what you already purchase for yourself. Depending upon if you have huge eaters or not. You are already buying for the fix it meals that the parents mess up on.

Best-
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My3cents 10:40 AM 06-13-2012
Originally Posted by daycare:
just because the parents have good jobs does not mean that they spend their money right. I have friends that are doctors that cant afford to even go to the movies or simple things because they are so in over their heads in debt. In fact they happen to be one of the families that was buying the junk juice at the soccer games.

They just don't always have their priorities straight....
The junk juice might be a "treat" for their kid too. Not something they always do.

I agree not a good idea to compare how people spend their money because priorities are not the same for everyone, and we often don't know what the other persons issues are in the $ area. I don't care to know. Just pay me- that is all I want- and on time
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cheerfuldom 11:27 AM 06-13-2012
Originally Posted by My3cents:
The junk juice might be a "treat" for their kid too. Not something they always do.

I agree not a good idea to compare how people spend their money because priorities are not the same for everyone, and we often don't know what the other persons issues are in the $ area. I don't care to know. Just pay me- that is all I want- and on time
She has had "junk" juice from her parents every day she has been here, has never been sent with water or milk, and is also sent with numerous other snack items. I understand that you are trying to help and I do appreciate people taking the time to post.

In this case, I am soooo over this thread. I feel that a lot of excuses are being made for the parent and that what I am expecting is not unreasonable, especially considering that they agreed and signed the contract AND we discussed lunch in length several times.

Thank you all for your help but I consider this thread over. Its been enlightening but has not changed what I will be doing tomorrow, when she is here and should more junk lunches be sent in the future.

I will be happily joining the food program as I have been planning to do, as soon as I get licensed. That should cut out all the debate on food with the parents (although there hasnt been any huge issues until this last new family). For now, I will make it work until next spring when I plan to complete the licensing procedures.
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SunshineMama 02:14 PM 06-13-2012
I like the idea of a no junk food policy. We all know how children act up when fe junk food- as a provider I would not want to contend with a 2 year old on a sugar high. Also, kids who eat fruits and veggies have better immunity, therefore less illness. If the parents were aware of the rules ahead of time, I see nothing wrong with enforcing those rules.
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My3cents 11:42 AM 06-14-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
She has had "junk" juice from her parents every day she has been here, has never been sent with water or milk, and is also sent with numerous other snack items. I understand that you are trying to help and I do appreciate people taking the time to post.

In this case, I am soooo over this thread. I feel that a lot of excuses are being made for the parent and that what I am expecting is not unreasonable, especially considering that they agreed and signed the contract AND we discussed lunch in length several times.

Thank you all for your help but I consider this thread over. Its been enlightening but has not changed what I will be doing tomorrow, when she is here and should more junk lunches be sent in the future.

I will be happily joining the food program as I have been planning to do, as soon as I get licensed. That should cut out all the debate on food with the parents (although there hasnt been any huge issues until this last new family). For now, I will make it work until next spring when I plan to complete the licensing procedures.
I think it was a great thread. Brought out a bunch of different opinions.

It is your program. Run it the way you want. I agree with you, if that even matters. If you have asked for that to not come to daycare, then stick by what you believe in. I also see the point that someone else made, I wouldn't want to have to deal with another child wanting the same junk stuff. Do what you have to do and it will be easier when you get on the food program. Don't be overwhelmed by it at first. Let us know how you make out with your decision and the parents reaction to it. I would dump the junk juice or send it back to if I were in your position. You made it clear- your program! They knew. No excuse for the parents on my end of it. I just try to stand back and look at the whole picture- always looking for a balance and I often teeter till I find it. Best-
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renodeb 04:31 PM 06-16-2012
What may be junk food to one person may seem fine to another.
For me providing the food eliminates all of those issues. Everyone gets the same thing (age appropriate ofcourse). Uniformity is key in how meals go here. I agree that your job is not to parent these kids, if the parents are cool with you sending the "junk" back home then I say great. I wouldnt push to hard though. Dont loose a good client b/c of one issue. I have talked with a lot of providers (through the years) that have a lot of these same issues with parent provided lunches. For me the stress of having to open 5 seperate lunches wouldnt replace the money your saving having the parents provide the food.
I hope you find a good balance with this issue. Let us know how its going! I'am not sure if you can claim parent provided lunches on the food program anyways! Sorry if this thread didnt help!
Debbie
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cheerfuldom 04:45 PM 06-16-2012
Originally Posted by renodeb:
What may be junk food to one person may seem fine to another.
For me providing the food eliminates all of those issues. Everyone gets the same thing (age appropriate ofcourse). Uniformity is key in how meals go here. I agree that your job is not to parent these kids, if the parents are cool with you sending the "junk" back home then I say great. I wouldnt push to hard though. Dont loose a good client b/c of one issue. I have talked with a lot of providers (through the years) that have a lot of these same issues with parent provided lunches. For me the stress of having to open 5 seperate lunches wouldnt replace the money your saving having the parents provide the food.
I hope you find a good balance with this issue. Let us know how its going! I'am not sure if you can claim parent provided lunches on the food program anyways! Sorry if this thread didnt help!
Debbie
no, it did help....it just didnt change my mind on how I do things.

As for an update....the last lunch included only one treat! miracle of miracles. this was sent home because she did not finish the rest of her lunch. thats the rule for all the kids. but I am fine with one treat being sent per lunch, to be eaten if all the other food is finished first.

still working on the parents about the drink options. still no water or milk sent for the whole day, just one sugary juice which she doesnt even like! I am fine with providing water and milk, because she needs it.

so things are slowly getting better. The last lunch on Friday was WAAAY better than what was provided the first day and I have not given up on my food policy. It is fair, specific and simple to understand. I have bended as far as I am willing to go and I dont think it unreasonable to have the parents come that last little bit of the way.
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DaisyMamma 05:29 AM 06-17-2012
I agree with Crystal.
The parents are deliberately not following your policies. I would keep sending the food home. I also think its a good opportunity to clarify a list of acceptable and unacceptable foods, include lunch ideas, request juice only be sent once or twice a week as long as its 100% fruit juice.
Good luck!
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angelicpretty 01:25 PM 06-19-2012
Just my thoughts...

I personally don't agree with dictating what a child eats from home. Also, I would never have enough time in my day to inspect or even pay attention to what a child is eating everyday. That being said, I have up to 15 children in my care at a time.

However, if the parent signed a contract with your rules and expectations for your business on it, then you have a right to run lunch time per your expectations. The power of having things in writing.
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Tags:health food, husband, parents - don't cooperate, strict
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