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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Hitting The Willful Stage With One Of My DCG
cheerfuldom 10:14 AM 07-29-2011
This little girl is 10 months. Here are the issues we are facing:
*screams until she falls asleep, could be anywhere from a few minutes to an hour, always wakes up either several times during her nap to scream or early from her nap and screams till I come get her. Its very random but always involves that angry cry, I know nothing is wrong. She takes a 90minute nap in the morning and a 2 hour nap in the afternoon
*crawls around and gets MAD when there are any boundaries about where she can go. She will scream if she gets to a closed door or if I have to put her in a restricted area, sometimes its toned down if other kids are right there with her but sometimes not
*she does play well with the other kids except when they have something she wants. previously she would get distracted easily but now she is not taking no for an anwer
*she is extremely easy and happy if she is allowed to roam free. she doesnt want my attention or want me to hold her. she just want to wander freely.
*she will fight food and milk but does A LOT better here than at home
Unfortunately she is spending more time in a pack n play alone than I would normally allow but once she loses it, there is not calming her and she has gone on for over three hours before. Its not every day but is slowly escalating. I cannot term her and it is still bearable, I just wish she would be happy and then she could come out and get involved more. I cannot leave her crying out with us because she gets everyone worked up including my own infant. Mom and dad are no help because the baby is a lot worse at home. They both have to hold her down to change her diaper and get up at all hours of the night with her. They are trying but again, she does better here for sure. I am hoping I can wait this one out and just keep plugging away at the routine until she gets over it. Its not even close to as bad as some kids I have had but like I said, I just wish she would move past this quickly so she didnt have to be crying alone so much. (I say crying, but it is actually screaming. rarely does she cry)
*screams until she falls asleep, could be anywhere from a few minutes to an hour, always wakes up either several times during her nap to scream or early from her nap and screams till I come get her. Its very random but always involves that angry cry, I know nothing is wrong. She takes a 90minute nap in the morning and a 2 hour nap in the afternoon
*crawls around and gets MAD when there are any boundaries about where she can go. She will scream if she gets to a closed door or if I have to put her in a restricted area, sometimes its toned down if other kids are right there with her but sometimes not
*she does play well with the other kids except when they have something she wants. previously she would get distracted easily but now she is not taking no for an anwer
*she is extremely easy and happy if she is allowed to roam free. she doesnt want my attention or want me to hold her. she just want to wander freely.
*she will fight food and milk but does A LOT better here than at home
Unfortunately she is spending more time in a pack n play alone than I would normally allow but once she loses it, there is not calming her and she has gone on for over three hours before. Its not every day but is slowly escalating. I cannot term her and it is still bearable, I just wish she would be happy and then she could come out and get involved more. I cannot leave her crying out with us because she gets everyone worked up including my own infant. Mom and dad are no help because the baby is a lot worse at home. They both have to hold her down to change her diaper and get up at all hours of the night with her. They are trying but again, she does better here for sure. I am hoping I can wait this one out and just keep plugging away at the routine until she gets over it. Its not even close to as bad as some kids I have had but like I said, I just wish she would move past this quickly so she didnt have to be crying alone so much. (I say crying, but it is actually screaming. rarely does she cry)
cheerfuldom 10:19 AM 07-29-2011
oh and right now she is screaming alone even though it is 45 minutes till nap time. she wanted another kids toys even though she had her own. i told her no and scooted her away. she sat there and stared at me for about 5 minutes. then i had to step away to do something (literally like one step away) and she lunges for those toys again. when she doesn't get them and i tell her no again, she immediately goes from 0 to 10 and gets going so quickly and so out of control that I have to separate her. by the time she calms down, it will be nap down and so she will miss out on some play time but i dont know what other option there is for now
wdmmom 10:28 AM 07-29-2011
Most kids will fall into a routine within a month.
If I were you, I'd place her in a dark room all by herself and as far away from the other kids as possible during naptime.
She needs to realize that all the screaming in the world isn't going to get you to come get her and she's not stirring up the others. Once she isn't running game on you, she'll relax more.
As for the baracades, I don't know what to tell you. I don't have my infants and toddlers on the floor together. Have age appropriate toys on the floor for her to play with and maybe do some one-on-one.
Good luck!
If I were you, I'd place her in a dark room all by herself and as far away from the other kids as possible during naptime.
She needs to realize that all the screaming in the world isn't going to get you to come get her and she's not stirring up the others. Once she isn't running game on you, she'll relax more.
As for the baracades, I don't know what to tell you. I don't have my infants and toddlers on the floor together. Have age appropriate toys on the floor for her to play with and maybe do some one-on-one.
Good luck!
cheerfuldom 10:41 AM 07-29-2011
oh and I forgot to mention, shes not new. I've had her since she was an infant. she knows the routine and rules (as much as a 10 month old can know them).
MommyMuffin 10:44 AM 07-29-2011
OMG! I could have written this post. But I have 2 of them. DCB is 11 months and has always been exactly how you describe your dcg. Recently I have been enforcing "naptime." And this just pisses him off royaly.
I also have a 6 month old who will scream unless I am near her or holding her and will not nap.
I also have to have gates and such and they hate it but too bad so sad.
I think you are doing everything that you can. They will grow out of it I hope.
Hope things get better and just know I am in the EXACT same boat!!!
Makes for long days. My other dcks cover their ears and beg me to put her in another room. Nothing makes her happy.
I also have a 6 month old who will scream unless I am near her or holding her and will not nap.
I also have to have gates and such and they hate it but too bad so sad.
I think you are doing everything that you can. They will grow out of it I hope.
Hope things get better and just know I am in the EXACT same boat!!!
Makes for long days. My other dcks cover their ears and beg me to put her in another room. Nothing makes her happy.
cheerfuldom 10:51 AM 07-29-2011
well at least she doesnt want to be held all the time, i have had some of those kids. she pushes me away and wants to travel around, just started standing this week. it does make for a long day though because i have her, plus my infant who is not a huge cryer but still needy and then my 2 year old that is trouble with a capital T plus all the other kids. its just too much for us to have to endure angry screaming on top of the rest of the noise and activity.
MommyMuffin 10:57 AM 07-29-2011
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
well at least she doesnt want to be held all the time, i have had some of those kids. she pushes me away and wants to travel around, just started standing this week. it does make for a long day though because i have her, plus my infant who is not a huge cryer but still needy and then my 2 year old that is trouble with a capital T plus all the other kids. its just too much for us to have to endure angry screaming on top of the rest of the noise and activity.
Too funny! I also have my own infant (1 month) and my own 2 year old (she is sooo bossy and sassy).well at least she doesnt want to be held all the time, i have had some of those kids. she pushes me away and wants to travel around, just started standing this week. it does make for a long day though because i have her, plus my infant who is not a huge cryer but still needy and then my 2 year old that is trouble with a capital T plus all the other kids. its just too much for us to have to endure angry screaming on top of the rest of the noise and activity.
To get through the day with these unhappy folks; I just tell myself: I provide safety, food, change their diapers and some play. Beyond that it is not my fault that they scream or dont get their way all day long. You provide everything they need and the rest is just their personality.
blueclouds29 11:14 AM 07-29-2011
Originally Posted by MommyMuffin:
Too funny! I also have my own infant (1 month) and my own 2 year old (she is sooo bossy and sassy).
To get through the day with these unhappy folks; I just tell myself: I provide safety, food, change their diapers and some play. Beyond that it is not my fault that they scream or dont get their way all day long. You provide everything they need and the rest is just their personality.
Thank you..I need that saying so bad! I have one 15months old that is just driving me crazy! Typical toddler things, tantrums, hitting, throwing toys, etc. He's not mean just in a playful way. At the end of the day i feel like all i do is say NO all day! With having 4 kids under 2 that's all i say! Ughhhh Too funny! I also have my own infant (1 month) and my own 2 year old (she is sooo bossy and sassy).
To get through the day with these unhappy folks; I just tell myself: I provide safety, food, change their diapers and some play. Beyond that it is not my fault that they scream or dont get their way all day long. You provide everything they need and the rest is just their personality.
But thank you, i need that little reminder!
cheerfuldom 02:43 PM 07-29-2011
oh my word, still 45 min. till mom picks up (shes the only one left right now) and she has been screaming almost non-stop ALL day. No crying, no tears, just an angry scream. How is she not worn out or hoarse?! Shes not giving up at all and I am starting to get worried about how long this is going to last. I have a new kid starting next week and naps are going to get tricky if this one DCG screams through each of them. eeekk!
kidkair 06:31 AM 07-30-2011
Part of it could be related to ear infection or teething too. Have you tried to give her pain relievers? I've had little ones that are in just so much pain from teething they don't know how to function and have a hard time learning until the pain is gone. Has she been introduced to new foods/milk lately? Maybe she's not digesting something well and you should start the food introductions over again. Is there a way you can separate her from the group but still allow her more freedom than a pnp? I've been able to separate kids by placing a gate between the playroom and dining room with appropriate toys and have had the kids calm down because no one is there to steal their toys or interfere in other ways. Does she scream when you are playing outside? I've had kids who calm down the instant we are outside and I think it's cause the noise pollution is different than inside. Take a listen to what your noise pollution is and turn things off or get the kids to settle down a bit and see if a quieter room is better or liven things up and see if a louder room is better. You said she really likes to move maybe offer some things she can use to climb over or on like boxes, pillows, towels, cushions. Maybe she's not getting enough movement in the day to help her sleep soundly. For diaper changes move her body and sing a song before doing the diaper change while she's on her back so she knows she can have fun in that position too.
cheerfuldom 05:54 PM 07-30-2011
thanks for the tips. I don't think it is ear infection or teething, she has no symptoms of either and like i mentioned, this situation is slowly escalating over the past few weeks and seems pretty normal for the age but its still a tough stage. thanks for the other ideas though!
cheerfuldom 06:36 AM 08-01-2011
okay I just realized that she is 11 months already. I keep thinking of her as like a 6 month old. She really is doing the willful toddler thing even though it will be awhile before she is actually walking. I think her parents are doing the same thing.....treating her like a younger baby even though mentally, shes quite smart and definitely doing what I see other toddlers doing.
littlemommy 08:29 AM 08-01-2011
I have a 10 month old the same exact way. Very crabby kid. He's been screaming for the past hour here. He gets mad if any other kid comes near him, so I move him, and he screams. After so much screaming, he goes in a pack n play in a room by himself. It's not fair for the other kids to listen to that!
This boy doesn't hold his own bottle or sippy cup. Mom really really pushes the pacifier, and when he gets a bottle at home she holds him like a newborn and feeds him. He won't drink anything for me here, so she started bringing a sippy cup. She said he'll drink it if he sits up and I hold it for him he'll tilt his head back and drink. Uh...how is the kid EVER going to learn to hold it on his own?!
This boy doesn't hold his own bottle or sippy cup. Mom really really pushes the pacifier, and when he gets a bottle at home she holds him like a newborn and feeds him. He won't drink anything for me here, so she started bringing a sippy cup. She said he'll drink it if he sits up and I hold it for him he'll tilt his head back and drink. Uh...how is the kid EVER going to learn to hold it on his own?!
cheerfuldom 09:00 AM 08-01-2011
if you know he can do it, just leave him in the booster or high chair and let him figure it out. my little one in this thread acts like she can't hold her bottle but she can. eventually she gets thirsty and does it herself.
christinaskids 11:17 AM 08-02-2011
Oh man, if I had my way, I wouldn't have any kids under walking age. Its just so stressful and when you have other children it makes it hard to play with them and stresses them out. My son is almost a year so I figured I would take babies until he is older but it sure makes the job interesting!]
cheerfuldom 11:25 AM 08-02-2011
yes I agree. My youngest DCG is 8 months and once she reaches 12 months, I will no longer be taking infants. I have my youngest daughter who is 3 months so I will still have a baby during the day but I am SO beyond ready to get past this baby stage. The toddlers and preschoolers are a handful but at least we can go for walks, go outside and such. All that is so much harder because right now I have 3 that are not walking.
SandeeAR 11:43 AM 08-02-2011
I love my Babies. I prefer them over the 4 and up age 
I have a 16 mo screamer at nap time. Found out recently Mom is putting her to bed with them and moving her when she is asleep. Now she is waking up at 3 am and going to bed with them. Explains why she won't sleep here!
But she started the crying and screaming over nothing during the day. Or when I got her up from nap time. I started telling her, "Do you want to go to bed?", then took her to the nap room and put her in the pak-n-play, to cry it out. Took about 4 times and she got the point. Now I simply have to say, "Do you want to go the bed?", and she usually hushes. Sometimes on Mondays, I have to retrain her and actually go put her in the PNP to CIO.
I have a 16 mo screamer at nap time. Found out recently Mom is putting her to bed with them and moving her when she is asleep. Now she is waking up at 3 am and going to bed with them. Explains why she won't sleep here!But she started the crying and screaming over nothing during the day. Or when I got her up from nap time. I started telling her, "Do you want to go to bed?", then took her to the nap room and put her in the pak-n-play, to cry it out. Took about 4 times and she got the point. Now I simply have to say, "Do you want to go the bed?", and she usually hushes. Sometimes on Mondays, I have to retrain her and actually go put her in the PNP to CIO.