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  #1  
Old 01-23-2013, 04:07 PM
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Default Baby Wants To Be Held All The Time

Hi. Im a ftm of a little girl who will be 4 months next week. I get to stay at home with her because a friend of mine had a baby a week after me and she pays me to watch her son. Dont get me wrong, i dont expect things to be easy when you watch two infants all day. My problem is that her son wants to be held all the time. There are times when both babies have had to cry bc im only one person and i can only feed one at a time. I honestly dont play favorites but of course it kills me to hear my daughter cry. Its one thing to cry bc of hunger, dirty diaper, or being tired.... But i should be able to set him down long enough to use the bathroom or make a sandwhich without him freaking out. I dont know what to do. Ive done searches and read "wear a sling" but that obviously doesnt work with 2 four month olds. People say thats too young to be spoiled too. Its not like i dont give him attention or play with him. I just would like to be able to spend a little more time with my daughter since shes the whole reason im staying home in the first place. Hope im not coming off the wrong way here. Just dont know what to do anymore! Please give me advice!
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Old 01-23-2013, 04:08 PM
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Here are some threads that may be helpful: http://daycare.com/forum/tags.php?ta...ing+-+too+long

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Old 01-23-2013, 04:30 PM
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Honestly, taking care of another infant alongside your own is very difficult. I couldn't do it. I tried for about 3 mos and finally gave notice. I struggled with both for a long time, and wish I had given notice sooner.
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Old 01-23-2013, 05:05 PM
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Honestly, taking care of another infant alongside your own is very difficult. I couldn't do it. I tried for about 3 mos and finally gave notice. I struggled with both for a long time, and wish I had given notice sooner.
Yes, it is. I DO like this little boy - his mom is my friend and daycare is pretty much out of the question in this area... Especially for the hours she works. If i didnt stay at home, id have to work opposite hours of my boyfriend for my daughter to be in daycare. There are almost never any openings around here, and like i said, never for the hours she works. I couldnt do that to her. Not only that, but i couldnt stay at home with my daughter if i didnt watch her son. Money is really tight as it is, so theres no way i could go without her pay. I dont have a problem watching him, and i can handle it, i just feel horrible that he cries so much. I dont want him to cry but i dont want to hold him constantly either. Its easier when they sleep opposte of each of other but that doesnt always happen.
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Old 01-23-2013, 05:29 PM
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I raised three of my own while running a daycare and it can be done. But using my current situation, I have a 4 month old who cries all day long. No, excuse me....screams. We go from 0-100 in a blink of an eye too! She cries when I change her, when I feed her, when she has her paci. I don't think she knows how to self soothe which is much of her problem. Mom is not a carry around sort but she does use things like swings and bouncers etc and the child doesn't know how to amuse herself or how to put herself to sleep. It is at a point it drives me nuts on days she is here. I can sooooooooo understand! The reality is, if she is fed, changed and been played with, etc and has her paci, I let her fuss sometimes. Otherwise, I would never go to the bathroom, eat or care for the other children here. Crying doesn't hurt anyone. And on a positive note, she does eventually stop as she is slowly learning to pacify herself, play and put herself down.

I would personally not sling. I think that enforces a bad habit that you will have a hard time breaking. I would try teaching him to amuse himself as times. You can try things like the swing and bouncer, etc. Heck...even faces on a tv might work enough to make a sandwich. I have done ceiling fans to watch and bathroom air vents (for white sound). Some love to be swaddled still. He has to learn at some point not to be carried around. It isn't fair to your daughter or to your sanity. JMO
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Old 01-23-2013, 05:59 PM
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just curious how well the baby is eating while with you? are they eating enough? perhaps maybe the baby is not getting full enough and this is why he's crying.

how does mom feed the baby at home?
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Old 01-23-2013, 06:17 PM
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If you are sure that baby is fed, rested and changed, you are fine to put him down and let him work it out. the reality is that your friend is paying you for 50% of the time and attention because you have two kids in care. It is hard to balance your own child and other children (I know....I have four young ones of my own!) so dont feel that part of your job is to keep him from crying all the time. When a child is not the only child there, there is no way that he wont be crying sometimes. Just think of what you ARE giving to him versus what you arent. The ratios at many daycares for infant rooms is 1 to 4 kids. He is getting 1 to 2. besides, putting him down now will get him used to it otherwise he will just get worse and worse as time goes on.
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Old 01-24-2013, 06:07 AM
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I would also say if you know his basic needs are being met then there is no reason why he can't sit in a bouncy chair or something and look at an activity centre for a few minutes while you pee/deal with your daughter etc.
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Old 01-24-2013, 10:02 AM
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My DD and a DCG are 1 week apart, DCG started when they were both 5months old and I had the exact problem with screaming. I also had 2 other kids in care (both 2yrs). DCG could not be put down without screaming, and holy cow if I actually dared to put her down and walked away... I'm surprised I still have unshattered glass items in my house! lol! She ate fine but wouldn't sleep, just scream the whole which made nap time for the other 3 nearly impossible some days, and spent all day screaming. No matter what age your own kid is you can not hold a baby all day in a child care setting.

DCM/DCD held her all the time, they rocked her to sleep, at nap they held her, she slept in their bed at nigh, she had no routine... so at my house of course she was in shock to have to soothe herself and not be held. After 3 weeks of constant crying I had the "termination" talk with DCM and she was devastated, she cried herself and promised to do whatever she could at home to help. The parent's really worked with me, they did their best to not hold her 24/7 and started putting her down in her own crib for nap and let DCK know it was ok to play alone. They also worked to get (and keep) on a routine. Before they had no routine, some days DCK would arrived dead tired and other days just woke up, some days she'd be starving and other's she just ate. So we worked out what worked best for her and us and then kept to it. It's hard but you have to be consistent.

I made sure her needs were met and she had something interesting to look at or play with and then just let her scream while I dealt with my DD or the other DCKs. It drove us bonkers but there was not much else I could do. I never used a sling and honestly once DCG was mobile (6mos) I rarely picked her up, unless necessary for things (like diapers, feedings, or she was crying for an actual reason) because it just perpetuated the crying. At nap I swaddled her and found that waterfall music or a fan helped amazingly. When she began to be interested in playing I spent time sitting by her while she would play and gradually increased my distance. Finally I could actually walk away without tears! of course this all took about 3-4months.

I honestly don't think I'd still have this DCG if her parents didn't work so hard. Now at 13mos DCG is great, a totally different kid! She goes down for naps without crying, eats everything, plays, and if I walk away there are no tears! But don't get wrong it was not an easy road at all

I will never do it again though, I felt terrible for my DD and the other DCKs because they were suffering too. Frankly I may never do under 9-12 months again because of this experience.
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Old 01-24-2013, 11:47 AM
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Thanks so much for all the replies and experiences. It really helps. I feel a lot better now about the situation.

He definitely gets enough to eat. Both him and my daughter still like to eat every 2 or 2.5 hours when theyre awake. Ive been babysitting him since he was 6 weeks old so i do know him pretty good.

One thing that would help us all i think is a schedule, but im not sure how to do that either. Its difficult bc one week she works 9:00 am to 6:00 pm and the next week she works 12:00 pm to 9:00 pm if not later. My boyfriend also works this same schedule. So it varies from week to week when we get up and go to bed. Also, i dont know how to do a set nap time.. What if they get tired and fussy and want to sleep before that time? Any thoughts? Or would my circumstances make a schedule impossible?
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Old 01-24-2013, 07:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
One thing that would help us all i think is a schedule, but im not sure how to do that either. Its difficult bc one week she works 9:00 am to 6:00 pm and the next week she works 12:00 pm to 9:00 pm if not later. My boyfriend also works this same schedule. So it varies from week to week when we get up and go to bed. Also, i dont know how to do a set nap time.. What if they get tired and fussy and want to sleep before that time? Any thoughts? Or would my circumstances make a schedule impossible?
The screamer that I had also had a varying schedule (which played a big part in why it took so long for her to adjust), somedays DCD dropped off at 8:45ish and other days it was 12pm. Plus her days varied so some weeks she was here 5 days and other weeks it was maybe 2 days (and they weren't always in a row so it could be Mon/Thurs...), DCD only knows about 2 weeks in advance what his schedule will be.

We didn't do a set "schedule" when DCG was that young (5mos) but more of a routine so that DCG knew what to expect next and days were somewhat predicable for her. We loosely followed the EASY schedule (E- eat, A- activity, S- sleep, Y- your time ). We didn't assign times to it though so it wasn't like at 7 she has to eat, at 10 she has to sleep. Her schedule 'started' whenever she woke up.

This DCG usually woke @ 7 so by 830-9 she was ready for nap so on her early drop off (8:45ish) she would arrive and go right down for nap. Then she'd get up (10ish), eat, "play" aka cry, and would be ready for nap around noon again (and so on throughout the day). DCPs kept this up at home and with her drop off schedule every time she was dropped off (845ish and 12ish) she was ready for a nap and it was consistent for her. There were days when she didn't sleep or slept longer, which threw times off a but but we just kept with the routine. When she started being awake more (and happier finally by this point) at about 8 months we started more of an actual "schedule" and went to only 2 naps.
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Old 01-25-2013, 10:28 PM
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I am a new provider, and I got my first infant in October. She cried quite a bit, but she learned to self sooth, and find a balance, so she only cries sometimes now, and can get herself to sleep. She started at 4mo. Now she is 7mo old, and I also now watch an 8mo old. He doesn't know how to go to sleep himself, but I am working on it. I can't imagine trying to "teach" two children at the same time. I try to find a balance between getting the two children to sleep. Sometimes they just have to cry a little bit. I wouldn't overly hold either children, just sometimes. Try to make a routine of it. Good luck.
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Old 02-11-2013, 12:37 AM
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Default Request for Suggestion!!

Can any one suggest me some high chair for my little baby, i really want it within couple of days, one of my friend suggested me high chair but i am confused?? did any one tried it??
for more details click below:
wooden high chairs at babyography
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  #14  
Old 02-11-2013, 07:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lyss View Post
We didn't do a set "schedule" when DCG was that young (5mos) but more of a routine so that DCG knew what to expect next and days were somewhat predicable for her. We loosely followed the EASY schedule (E- eat, A- activity, S- sleep, Y- your time ). We didn't assign times to it though so it wasn't like at 7 she has to eat, at 10 she has to sleep. Her schedule 'started' whenever she woke up.
This usually works for me. I've never been too strict with schedules for babies that age, just a predictable routine. I also have a mobile that projects lights on the ceiling that the babies like and it helps soothe them to sleep, too.

Definitely don't be afraid to let him cry if all his needs are met. Crying won't hurt him (within reason, of course) and it actually can be beneficial for babies.
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