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Old 03-24-2021, 02:02 PM
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Default Clingy 15 Month Old

Just started a 15 month old and she screams anytime she isn't held. I try to not hold her all the time but her screaming and tears anytine she isnt held is driving me crazy!
She's been home with mom since birth.
Just wondering how long this will take?! I've never had a child who wont even play for a minute out of my arms. She ONLY plays independently with toys when mom drops her off. The moment mom leaves she cries til she is held and literally (LITERALLY) cried any other time I have to put her down.
If I have to help the other kids or make lunch or put her down for ANY reason she cries. Should I start letting her cry for 5 minute increments and then increase it or what?

She is fairly easy to put to nap which is a saving grace.
She has been like this three weeks now three days per week. 6 to 8 hours. 3 days per week.

Last edited by Michael; 03-24-2021 at 08:23 PM.
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Old 03-24-2021, 08:24 PM
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Some more threads on clingy children: https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.php?tag=clingy
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Old 03-25-2021, 06:42 AM
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You really need to not pick her up once her mother puts her down. Unless she needs changing or to be lifted into a high chair for meals she should be standing on her own legs or sitting on the floor playing toys.

Bend down to her level, comfort, stand and walk away. Don't sit in the floor with her, either, as that can be tempting, too. The more attention she gets for crying, the more she will do it.
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Old 03-29-2021, 08:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lux View Post
Just started a 15 month old and she screams anytime she isn't held. I try to not hold her all the time but her screaming and tears anytine she isnt held is driving me crazy!
She's been home with mom since birth.
Just wondering how long this will take?! I've never had a child who wont even play for a minute out of my arms. She ONLY plays independently with toys when mom drops her off. The moment mom leaves she cries til she is held and literally (LITERALLY) cried any other time I have to put her down.
If I have to help the other kids or make lunch or put her down for ANY reason she cries. Should I start letting her cry for 5 minute increments and then increase it or what?

She is fairly easy to put to nap which is a saving grace.
She has been like this three weeks now three days per week. 6 to 8 hours. 3 days per week.
I had a 17 month old that was exactly the same. She'd even scream and start hyperventilating if I was holding her and turned my head. She'd grab the sides of my face and try to force me to look at her - it was ridiculous. Mom wanted her held for the first hour of daycare to help her "adjust" and then held and cuddled for all of nap time. After the second day of 10 straight hours of screaming and trying to claw her way into my arms, I couldn't take it anymore. Over about 3 weeks I slowly held her less and less. She screamed the entire time and I didn't see any real progress until almost 2 full months. She still follows me if I even move from one part of the room to the other but it was really the screaming that was ruining me. I must have written at least 5 termination notices over the last 3 months but chickened out when it was time to tell her parents.

But if this child can be weaned off the screaming and demanding to be held, I'm positive any child can! I just started timing it, taking off a few minutes each time and eventually just hugging her when she reached for me (then prying her arms and legs off my body) and helping her sit next to me instead of on me. It was a terribly frustrating process but we did it
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Old 03-31-2021, 04:40 PM
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Insist that she go to 5 days per week for at least 3 weeks. Then do as the others say - don't pick her up. Three days per week will take forever.
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Old 04-01-2021, 06:47 PM
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Thanks so much for this advice everyone. I took it and she's getting better. I also bought gates which I haven't needed as yet. We had a week of all day screams which nearly did me in but she has improved immensely this week.
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Old 04-01-2021, 06:50 PM
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I had a 17 month old that was exactly the same. She'd even scream and start hyperventilating if I was holding her and turned my head. She'd grab the sides of my face and try to force me to look at her - it was ridiculous. Mom wanted her held for the first hour of daycare to help her "adjust" and then held and cuddled for all of nap time. After the second day of 10 straight hours of screaming and trying to claw her way into my arms, I couldn't take it anymore. Over about 3 weeks I slowly held her less and less. She screamed the entire time and I didn't see any real progress until almost 2 full months. She still follows me if I even move from one part of the room to the other but it was really the screaming that was ruining me. I must have written at least 5 termination notices over the last 3 months but chickened out when it was time to tell her parents.

But if this child can be weaned off the screaming and demanding to be held, I'm positive any child can! I just started timing it, taking off a few minutes each time and eventually just hugging her when she reached for me (then prying her arms and legs off my body) and helping her sit next to me instead of on me. It was a terribly frustrating process but we did it
yes she chases me, falling down, wobbling everywhere as she isn't a great Walker yet which made it seem all the more desperate and sad! .....That's why I got the gates. She actually almost tripped me a few times. I really needed them.
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