Our dd started running a fever this morning. I texted parents made them aware of what was going on. Told them she was staying upstairs etc. Well, the fever has gone higher but, did break with Motrin. All parents texted back understanding and wanting to know if they needed to pick up early. I told them no as she was upstairs and it was nearing nap time etc. But, of course it was their choice.

So after lunch I sent a text out letting them know that I would be closed tomorrow. Everyone was receptive and understanding except for one family. The DCM called and asked if I was for sure closing because she was on her lunch break and needed to let work know, and how she has only been at this job for 7 weeks and has already had to take two days off (DCM was sick), and how hopefully she could find someone to watch dcg so she could at least work a few hours, she didn't want dcg getting sick since she is so young, and this really sucked for her. I let her know that part of my closing was to avoid infecting other children with what DD has, to give DD time with me, and to disinfect the house.

This family is starting to really get to me. I handed out policy changes last night and DCD had the balls to complain about the late charges and said that since its contracted hours dcg would be here till 5:30 even if she didn't need to be. He then went on to say he would give it to his wife and let her call and rip my ass. His words! I laughed and told him I wasn't sure what she would be upset about and that I have always had late charges he had been lucky in that I have let him slide twice but, no more. He then went on to complain that this is a contract. I explained yes it is and that this daycare is a business and its done to protect my business and my clients. Also, you were given a handbook with a contract to sign remember? Obviously not! I'm so frustrated with them. I love dcg dearly and enjoy having her. However, the parents are not so enjoyable.

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wow- He said his wife would call later to rip your ass? I'd say fine, she can do that when she picks up your termination papers and your child's things. No one should disrespect you and your business like that.

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My mouth is wide open right now!

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I don't even know what to say to that! WTF? I would be so livid. I'm usually one to let some things go, but this, No Way!

Did dcm call you?

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His exact words! The more I think about the more it makes me upset. She said nothing about it this morning at drop-off. DH thinks we need to sit down with the family and have a "come to Jesus" meeting. I think we are reaching that point. It seems to be one thing after another with this family.

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Oh. My. Goodness.

How did you manage to not term him on the spot? I don't care if this parent is making me richer than I could ever dream of... I dare you to talk to me like that in my own home and NOT get slapped with a term notice.

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Well, DCM just called and was venting about missing work and dcg being exposed to germs. So she is on her way.

THEN! She says I don't want you to be upset but, I talked with administration and they are going to write up a business plan so we can get a daycare opened here at work. And have a sick room for sick kids. So we don't have to miss work when our kids are sick and when our providers kids are sick.

Now what do I do????? I want to cry so bad. I'm angry and now saddened by this. And wondering how much since it makes to have a bunch of sick kids all together....

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My Mary Poppins (as Dh calls it) was shinning bright I guess.

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Don't let her bully you! You know how long it's going to take to set that up? And I don't know about your state, but in mine there are no sick child cares because licensing has regulations and standards regarding sick kids. They're not going to just whip a daycare up any time soon.

Honestly, I'd term. I don't let people bully me or try to make me feel like I'm doing the wrong thing just so they aren't inconvenienced. Like Blackcat says... No amount of $$$ is worth putting up with parents like that! Just from what you've said in this thread this family is nothing but trouble.

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And I know it's sad... you can feel the way you do and still stand up for yourself, kwim? There's a family out there who would love a great provider like you, but this horrible excuse for a family is taking that spot

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I'm in KS! I KNEW that was against regs. I didn't however, say anything. Should I mention it to her?

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This. Let me tell you what, there is no way their DC will be up and running anytime soon. The are just in the proposal stages - this means they have NO idea what running a licensed care facility entails. Who knows when, or if, it will ever get off the ground. Or what they will charge employees to have their kids there - I know someone who loved their company DC, until they raised their rates and they could no longer afford to send their kids there.

My advice? TERM. "DCP's it sounds as if my program is not a good fit for your families needs. Effective (two weeks?) I will no longer be able to provide care for your child. Should you need assistance with your child care search the local referral agency can be reached at 1-800-HAHAHA."

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I'd say "wow, I'd be making tons more money if licensing actually allowed sick children in day cares!" Then I'd let it sink in

Maybe regs for centers are different, but I highly doubt it. My licensor gave me this:

http://www.kdheks.gov/bcclr/applicat..._Exclusion.pdf

I got that in the link for home/group daycares and the link for centers is the exact same one. So.... I'd say she's outta luck!

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DH and I are going to discuss it together tonight. He is the business manager. But, does understand the issues going on. I know I would feel better for standing up for myself. Right now I'm feeling dumb for not. Grrr! I will grow a back bone!

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Don't beat yourself up about it. You obviously have a very kind heart! You're definitely not dumb... I know I said you should have termed DCD when he was all up in your business about the contract, but if a dcp were to do that to me I think I'd be in shock until after it sank in a bit.



Oh, and what part of Kansas are you in? I'm in south central Kansas about 30 minutes from Wichita.

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There is no way in hell I would work for this family. All of that combined is downright ridiculous. If someone was using swear words in my home and in front of the kids, oh hell no! I would term on the spot. If they think the work daycare will be so awesome, just let them go find another provider while they wait on that. Do you know how many times I have heard of people offering sick care? Almost none. It is so rare. This company obviously has no clue what they are getting into and the liability that will come with offering care to children who could be bringing in all manner of illness and exposing not only other kids but all the employees as well. I will bet 99.9999% sure that this idea will go nowhere fast. These parents have no idea what they are talking about. Please do not put up with this nonsense.

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I don't understand why you would be angry for her work to set up a daycare for their employees. A lot of larger companies do this. It really wouldn't be any of your business if they set off an area or a room for sick kids.

It doesn't sound like this family is a good fit for your business and vice versa. It's time to give them notice and move on.

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Have no fear... setting up something like that is EXTREMELY hard. It would take YEARS for them to put that together. The insurance ALONE is going to be EXTREMELY hard to get.

She may have SUGGESTED this to her work... but it won't happen.

We had ONE sick bay here and it was almost completely funded by a ladies auxillary at a hospital. They went belly up eventually. They had to staff with RN's and it was very expensive.

Each state has sick child care regs. They are usually so cumbersome and the liability SO high that they don't get off the ground.

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Bye Bye Daddy

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These parents have hit you with a lot of attitude all at once and it really can throw you for a loop! You're not not standing up for yourself and you're not dumb. You are acting professionally. You and your husband will take the time tonight to discuss the issue and come to an agreement on how to handle it. It's always best to assess the situation first, take the emotion out of it and react after thinking it through. It's never too late to stand up for yourself. Whether you decide to have that "come to Jesus" meeting with this family or you decide to give them their termination notice, you will be standing up for yourself. You're just taking the time to decide how best to do that.

So....dcm "talked with administration and they are going to write up a business plan so we can get a daycare opened here at work. And have a sick room for sick kids. So we don't have to miss work when our kids are sick and when our providers kids are sick." Really??! She's been working at her place of employment for 7 weeks and all it takes to get a day care started there is her going in and talking to administration?? I think she's either very naive about what it will take for that to happen or she's trying to call your bluff, hoping you don't want to lose her business. I wouldn't worry about it!

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thats what I though too. WOW really. after 7 weeks you can go in and call the shots.

hahahahahah yeah right. I would term on the spot. no two weeks.

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Term! Agree with everyone above, and I am angry for you. Yeah, good luck dcm with that daycare at your work (if it ever happens). I would show her the door tomorrow

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I don't believe her "sick daycare at work" story for a single second. This is pure intimidation tactics.

Term.

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I would not allow them to enter my home again. I would call and term IMMEDIATELY. Even have something written down as a script to say. Get into NO back and forth, and be done.

"dcm/dcd upon careful consideration, I believe it's for the best that we part ways now. I will refund you/your balance is..... and dck's things will be mailed to the address I have on file. Best of luck to you."

Like a bandaid.


I would NEVER allow someone to speak to me that way. I would term a child over this, let alone an adult.

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She is being a bully! I am mad for you too! Please, please don't let this family upset you! I would term and tell them that now they can take dck to this "sick" daycare at work when it opens, which will take forever. I have never heard of any daycare having a sick room. She must not care if her kid is sick or not, but she is taking dck home because she has been exposed to germs?

I hope you figure out what you want to do with this family so you don't have to feel the way you do. Don't let them intimidate you!

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Yep, def against regs. St Francis (or maybe it was Stormont) here in Topeka had a "sick care" drop in program a long time ago. It was shut down about 15 years ago because of changing regulations and disease control.

I wouldn't say anything to her about the "new daycare". The next time she complains about you closing or her having to keep her child home due to sickness just tell her that it is per licensing regulations.

Stand firm sister!

Edited to add- Personally I would just term due to the language use and the lack of respect. If you don't want to do that I would at least be VERY firm on all your policies and the next time he/she tries to disrespect you say "Excuse me?? Please don't speak to me in that manner again. It is very disrespectful and inappropriate. It's time for you to go. See you tomorrow DCG."

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We are terming. DH would like to see the spot filled first. I want to give the two weeks and be done. They letter is drafted and ready to hand them. DH said he would be present when it was delivered as I see drama coming! I have a family wanting care starting in July. We are going to visit with them and discuss the holding fee. Also, have a family starting tentatively in a week. They have one week left to begin paying their holding fee.

We live in a very small area (like no stop light for 30 miles) and I was concerned about negative gossip etc. But, as many say people will look at the source and figure out truth from gossip.

Thank you all so much for your advice and support!

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Wow! I'm in shock. Like Melilley I tend to be on the easy-going side as well but that's just plain rude and disrespectful. I'm sure I would be shocked at first but by the time it set in I'm sure I'd be drafting term papers. and as much as I know filling a spot first is important, allowing them to stay will only create more problems.

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Families can disagree with my rules or policies but they can act like adults and speak to me kindly about it. The first threat to "rip my ass" and I would be showing their ass the door! I would term this family immediately if you can afford to!

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Update? Curious as to if you have termed or if not how things are going?

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Exactly!

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Ditto! I hope things went well.

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what is up with parents these days? I am reading of a lot of disrespect from clients on the boards lately. Why do people feel they can talk to other people like this?

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term on the spot. Don't let the door kick you in the bleep on your way out. Find another client that will appreciate all that you do. It will make you a better provider because you will have the respect of the parents.

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one more thing......

don't cry. They don't deserve one more piece of you and your feelings. Just be done with this nonsense.

A sick room.......lol. Yeah its called a hospital. UGH!!!

hugs move on

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both postings from craftymissbeth-

Mary Poppins would have a bit more dignity of oneself to allow this, at least I would like to think that- Find new clients~ Best-

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don't feel dumb but learn from this and term them. Do you both work in the daycare? When you don't stand up for yourself you allow others to go on to treat many more people badly. End the cycle.

I just want to hug you because I can tell you have a very good heart, but at the same time I am upset that your probably going to allow this- ugh I sure hope not.

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I have had one family call back and is paying the holding fee for their spot. We are meeting with the family that wants a spot in July on Monday.

Even if the second family decides not to pay the holding fee, we will be terming on Tuesday if not Monday. Today dcm said in a fake grumpy voice "____had to go to a stranger yesterday and be watched" accompanied with a nasty face. I would like to think she was joking but, after what has happened I didn't find it funny. Now, dcg has a stuffy nose and watery eyes. So I am looking for more drama if she ends of getting sick.

Dreading handing them the term letter. Not sure if I should call, give them a letter or both? Or just the letter? DH will be present at all pick ups and drop offs once I give them the letter. If he isn't available he suggested I record conversation with my phone and to of course let parents know what I am doing.

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update?

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They are still here. We gave the family looking for care to start in the summer two weeks to decide if they want to hold their spot or risk it being gone. We are terming but haven't put a date on it. I admit it I don't want to loose the money right now. We would do fine without them as I was doing fine before. But, I do like the money. I told DH that as long as they are here I can't complain as I know what we need to do.

DCD hasn't said much lately except that DCM wants to quite her job. I hear that from him almost daily. DCM is well according to facebook stressed out. She mentioned to me how it was so hard on her working three jobs...mom, maid, and her full time job. My response was to stand there dumbfounded and say nothing.

Honestly, I dread terming them. I want to, need to, and will. I just dread handing DCM the letter. I don't want the conflict and nastiness that will follow.

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