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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Need To Vent: Rude Parent
Kabob 07:12 PM 06-05-2014
So I just termed my last remaining family today.

I sent dcm an email letting her know I had my baby and am home from the hospital and gave her a date that I'll be open again and a reminder about when to schedule care.

Dcm responded with an extremely rude email saying that she has been more than understanding of me needing to close for giving birth but me needing 3 weeks off is "ridiculous" and so she thinks I'm being dishonest for not telling her I'd be closed this long back when she enrolled. She said I was a joke.

I apologized for her anger and added that I would indeed the extra time (3 weeks) to be closed, and mentioned that as indicated in previous written communication, things change and this was the soonest I would know that things would change as I didn't know how the birth and baby would be. I also indicated that she was told I was pregnant at the time of enrollment and I also had given her over a months notice that I would be closed a minimum of 2 weeks and that I'd let them know as soon as I know of a change. She had over a month to find alternative care. I also added, in my frustration, that her rudeness was unnecessary especially since I had hired an assistant to try to remain open as long as possible. I also added I was hurt by her lack of consideration for my family considering the care I gave to hers.

I termed and told her that her stuff will be in the mail along with her refund for the first week back.

So hurt...but I guess I shouldn't be surprised.
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midaycare 07:24 PM 06-05-2014
That dcm is crazy! She went through childbirth - does she not realize that most people in the US get 6 weeks off???

Sorry
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nothingwithoutjoy 07:41 PM 06-05-2014
Ugh. How horrible for you to have to deal with this right now. Three weeks is ridiculous only in terms of "ridiculous that she would expect you to take any less time."
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Lucy 07:41 PM 06-05-2014
Congrats on the baby!!
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sahm1225 07:50 PM 06-05-2014
Congratulations on the baby!

Good for you for terming. You just had a baby? Enjoy every second of it and good riddance to that family,
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TheGoodLife 08:15 PM 06-05-2014
Ugh, such self-absorbed people Congratulations on the newest arrival- and focus on baby, yourself, and your family. Enjoy your (quiet?!) time alone without having to worry about work
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llpa 08:32 PM 06-05-2014
Awwww that new baby is way more important and so is your recovery time than anything that crazy dcm had to say! She is officially nuts for thinking you should take less than you are!! You didn't deserve her rudeness. Don't give her a second thought
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spud912 08:46 PM 06-05-2014
Congratulations on the new bundle of joy! I love how something personal brings out the true color of some people....good riddance to selfishness!
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Josiegirl 02:54 AM 06-06-2014
Congratulations on adding to your family, give your baby lots of love and hugs and don't let that negative energy wasted on your rude dcm affect you.

Repeat after me.....this is just a job this is just a job
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Play Care 03:05 AM 06-06-2014
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
Congratulations on adding to your family, give your baby lots of love and hugs and don't let that negative energy wasted on your rude dcm affect you.

Repeat after me.....this is just a job this is just a job
This!!!


Congrats!!!
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Second Home 03:20 AM 06-06-2014
Congrats
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Naptime yet? 04:04 AM 06-06-2014
I was wondering how you were doing; congratulations!

Don't take someone's self-centeredness personally, she'll get over it, you have much more important things to worry about. And what I really mean is, f*** her (pardon my implied language).

Wishing you and your family much health & happiness!
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coolconfidentme 04:22 AM 06-06-2014
Mean people suck!!!
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taylorw1210 04:34 AM 06-06-2014
Congrats on the new baby - and don't waste anymore time or energy on that family! I can't believe she is being so rude! When you say you termed your last remaining family, does that mean all of your other families are gone?
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MotherNature 05:05 AM 06-06-2014
Congratulations! (And good riddance on such a selfish family.)
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Kabob 05:09 AM 06-06-2014
Well dcm was quick to say she didn't mean what she said and called it a case of miscommunication stemming from her frustration at having to use her vacation days. She also sang praises of my daycare. So now dh thinks I should keep her because he thinks I made my decision based on emotions.

The thing is....her outburst made it hard for me to believe she respects me and I know she was not communicating with me regarding her concerns for over a month. She could've signed up with another daycare or hired back her sitter. I admit I'm mad but it really boils down to the way she chose to word her response and the fact she had time to think about it before she hit "send".

I feel like the bad guy...
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Kabob 05:12 AM 06-06-2014
Originally Posted by taylorw1210:
Congrats on the new baby - and don't waste anymore time or energy on that family! I can't believe she is being so rude! When you say you termed your last remaining family, does that mean all of your other families are gone?
They are but I expected that...one was unhappy I was pregnant. Another was causing problems anyway. And then there was this one. I wasn't super keen on adding more families before delivering and figured I'd lose the ones I had...no worries.

And yes I am thoroughly enjoying my time with my new baby anyway.
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e.j. 05:23 AM 06-06-2014
Originally Posted by llpa:
Awwww that new baby is way more important and so is your recovery time than anything that crazy dcm had to say! She is officially nuts for thinking you should take less than you are!! You didn't deserve her rudeness. Don't give her a second thought
I get that it's an inconvenience to families anytime we need to close our day care businesses for any reason and any length of time but....give me a break! After having gone through child birth herself, I can't imagine how she would expect you to bounce back to work even after 3 weeks. That's not nearly enough time in my opinion. She should have been grateful that's all the time you were planning to take. Some people can't think beyond their own nose!

On a positive note, congratulations on your baby's birth!
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Shell 05:36 AM 06-06-2014
Congratulations on having your baby! What a rude and selfish woman- she only cares about her needs. I let a family talk me out of my maternity leave (cut down from 2 weeks to 1 ), and I regret it deeply. On top of that dcm brought dcg here sick during this time, and that stressed me out tremendously. The experience taught me that our needs have to come first, we don't get any do-overs. If parents don't care about us as individuals, we don't need them!
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Kabob 05:50 AM 06-06-2014
Ugh...with each apology email I receive, I'm feeling even more like the bad guy. I understand her frustration but still her venting it like that made for a difficult situation. If I take her back, she could do that again if she doesn't like something....if I don't take her back, then I feel incredibly guilty...

Still not cutting my time short...dh used up all of his pto to stay home to bond and help out...and I really wasn't planning to be closed for 3 weeks but that's the way things turned out...I tried to give as much notice as possible that it would be more than 2 weeks but I didn't know I'd be induced until a few days before the procedure. Urgh...trying not to let it get to me...
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e.j. 05:51 AM 06-06-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
Well dcm was quick to say she didn't mean what she said and called it a case of miscommunication stemming from her frustration at having to use her vacation days. She also sang praises of my daycare. So now dh thinks I should keep her because he thinks I made my decision based on emotions.

The thing is....her outburst made it hard for me to believe she respects me and I know she was not communicating with me regarding her concerns for over a month. She could've signed up with another daycare or hired back her sitter. I admit I'm mad but it really boils down to the way she chose to word her response and the fact she had time to think about it before she hit "send".

I feel like the bad guy...
You're not the bad guy in this. It's one thing to express frustration in a respectful manner. It's a whole other thing to tell you you're a "joke" and that it's "ridiculous" to want to take time to bond with your baby. The frustration she feels would be understandable to me. The rudeness and child-like temper tantrum would not be. There will be other times when you will need to close with little notice -like when you or your kids are sick. What kind of response will you get from her then? If it were me, I'd stick with the original decision to term and not feel guilty about it.
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Heidi 06:13 AM 06-06-2014
Originally Posted by e.j.:
You're not the bad guy in this. It's one thing to express frustration in a respectful manner. It's a whole other thing to tell you you're a "joke" and that it's "ridiculous" to want to take time to bond with your baby. The frustration she feels would be understandable to me. The rudeness and child-like temper tantrum would not be. There will be other times when you will need to close with little notice -like when you or your kids are sick. What kind of response will you get from her then? If it were me, I'd stick with the original decision to term and not feel guilty about it.



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JoseyJo 06:35 AM 06-06-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
Ugh...with each apology email I receive, I'm feeling even more like the bad guy. I understand her frustration but still her venting it like that made for a difficult situation. If I take her back, she could do that again if she doesn't like something....if I don't take her back, then I feel incredibly guilty...

Still not cutting my time short...dh used up all of his pto to stay home to bond and help out...and I really wasn't planning to be closed for 3 weeks but that's the way things turned out...I tried to give as much notice as possible that it would be more than 2 weeks but I didn't know I'd be induced until a few days before the procedure. Urgh...trying not to let it get to me...
No way I would take this family back! If you did it essentially tells her she can be rude and disrespectful to you, apologize and get away with it. Start fresh when YOU are ready. Since you don't have any families waiting on you you can take as long as you want with your sweet squishy new little one
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KiddieCahoots 06:54 AM 06-06-2014
Oh....the baby's here! Congratulations Kabob!

The scenario with your dcp's sounds so much like how the saying goes....
Give them an inch....
and they take a mile...

Don't feel like the bad guy. You did the right thing, for you and your family.

If you don't want to deal with her bad attitude and don't take her back...that's fine!
If you do decide to give her another shot....that's fine too!

Give yourself the control without the worries, you totally deserve it!
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Blackcat31 07:00 AM 06-06-2014
Congratulations on your new little one!

YOU ARE NOT THE BAD GUY!!!!!


DCM is doing her best at deflecting HER bad behavior onto you and making you feel guilty for not simply accepting her backtracking apology....

If I were in your shoes I would NOT take this family back. No way, No how!!

She showed you her true colors and is now panicking at the fall out of HER actions, plus you are soooooo right, the next time something doesn't go her way there is NO proof she won't behave the same way AND probably include the added time off you took now as icing on the cake.

I say take this time off to revamp your care program and get some new families in the door.

Let this DCM deal with the fall out of HER bad behavior.

Dr. Phil says "Past behavior is the best indicator of future behavior" and I think he might be right when it comes to this DCM.

She can say she is sorry all she wants. She can even try to explain it...but bottom line is she WAS rude and mean to you during a time in your life that should be special and joyous! She ruined that for you and no amount of apologizing or back tracking can take that back.

If she was truly sorry, she'd be paying you IN FULL for the entire 3 weeks you are off and sending a fabulous baby/mommy gift!

She is SAYING she is sorry but she is not SHOWING you. Listen to her.
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SSWonders 07:05 AM 06-06-2014
Congratulations on the new addition! IMHO I think she is the one being ridiculous. And there is no way you should feel guilty about anything. I wouldn't have been physically able to take care of other children as well as a newborn at even 3 weeks postpartum.

The thing is, had she been the one having the baby she probably would have wanted time off from paying for daycare or want you to hold a spot for the baby without paying for it. I've learned through the years that parents are going to do what is best for them and very rarely take the provider's situation into account.

And no way you should feel guilty. Guilty because you don't want to put up with someone being rude? That just doesn't make sense.

The thing is, if you take her back, will you be on edge waiting for it to happen again? Or have a hard time making decisions because of how she might react?

If I didn't need the income there is no way I would put myself back in that situation. The stress is not worth it. The baby is more important.
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KiddieCahoots 07:12 AM 06-06-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Dr. Phil says "Past behavior is the best indicator of future behavior" and I think he might be right when it comes to this DCM.
I love Dr. Phil! Wish I could watch his show more.
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Crazy8 07:28 AM 06-06-2014
Congrats on your baby!!

I think Maya Angelou said "when people show you who they are, believe them". This dcm showed you who she was, instead of congratulating you on your new baby and asking how he/she was doing she chose to complain about you being closed and you "tricking" them???? Yeah, those are true colors right there. I have had WONDERFUL families that were inconvenienced when I had to close last year, they were able to express both their happiness for my situation and their "oh no, what am I going to do for care" at the same time - it can be done. She chose not to.

Can I ask though, why you told them 2 weeks and are now taking 3? Not that you don't deserve 3 weeks, but maybe she feels a little duped that you were saying 2 weeks and now added on another week.
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cheerfuldom 07:53 AM 06-06-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
Well dcm was quick to say she didn't mean what she said and called it a case of miscommunication stemming from her frustration at having to use her vacation days. She also sang praises of my daycare. So now dh thinks I should keep her because he thinks I made my decision based on emotions.

The thing is....her outburst made it hard for me to believe she respects me and I know she was not communicating with me regarding her concerns for over a month. She could've signed up with another daycare or hired back her sitter. I admit I'm mad but it really boils down to the way she chose to word her response and the fact she had time to think about it before she hit "send".

I feel like the bad guy...
Do NOT listen to your husband and take her back. What she did was try and bully you to get her way and when that didnt work, try to backtrack. She didnt even really apologize since she followed her response up with an excuse that the comments were a miscommunication aka "you didnt understand me and it is your fault for taking things in a way i didnt mean them". She is rude and ungrateful and only backtracking because she has no back up sitter.
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craftymissbeth 07:59 AM 06-06-2014
I think it's nannyde who always says that when a situation like this happens they're just trying to get back in with you until they can find someone else.

Congratulations on the new little one!!
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cheerfuldom 08:03 AM 06-06-2014
I would send one more email "The decision is final. Do not contact me again. As stated, I will mail your refund and items to you in a timely fashion. Do not come to my house." and then do NOT open a single email from her. Save them all just in case but dont open them for weeks, give yourself the chance to have some space from this woman and do not let her ruin your maternity leave. The multiple emails just shows more bully type behavior.
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CraftyMom 08:06 AM 06-06-2014
I agree with everyone, she let her true colors show and now she's back peddling!

Now you will have lots of time with your baby enjoy it and DON'T FEEL GUILTY!

By the way, how did it go? If you don't mind my asking. Did the baby behave and stay in the right position?

And is it a boy or girl?
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Kabob 08:29 AM 06-06-2014
Originally Posted by Crazy8:
Congrats on your baby!!

I think Maya Angelou said "when people show you who they are, believe them". This dcm showed you who she was, instead of congratulating you on your new baby and asking how he/she was doing she chose to complain about you being closed and you "tricking" them???? Yeah, those are true colors right there. I have had WONDERFUL families that were inconvenienced when I had to close last year, they were able to express both their happiness for my situation and their "oh no, what am I going to do for care" at the same time - it can be done. She chose not to.

Can I ask though, why you told them 2 weeks and are now taking 3? Not that you don't deserve 3 weeks, but maybe she feels a little duped that you were saying 2 weeks and now added on another week.
I feel guilty exactly because of this. I warned everyone I might need more time and would update them as soon as possible when I knew more. This I told them back when I found out my baby was breech and might need a c-section if she flipped again. I didn't need a c-section but decided to take 3 weeks anyway as my dh preferred to have family time rather than watch the daycare for me since my assistant / sub is visiting her family. So, dh thinks I'm being harsh because I should have taken more than 2 weeks off to begin with (he was unhappy with the 2 weeks to begin with and wanted more time).

So, I understand her frustration but I just wasn't expecting the rude email. She is also very part time (2-3 days a week tops) so losing her wouldn't be a big deal but like I said, dh thinks I should be more customer oriented...he's so unhelpful right now by tearing me in 2 directions!

I just don't want to deal with this right now...dcm had missed work already because dcb was sick quite a bit before my leave so I know she's frustrated because of that....but then again I don't want to deal with perpetually sick dcb especially after the pediatrician told us that we need to be especially careful about our new little one's health or else it's back to the hospital for us.

On the plus side, I already have a lot of interest in the open spaces so I could feasibly start up again in 3 weeks if I wanted to and if I find the right families. I'm not worried about it.

On a lighter note, this is an odd way for me to announce that we had a baby girl...fortunately she stayed head down after the dr flipped her back around but she gave us a scare when she came out blue and not making a noise...and then they had trouble getting her body temp up to normal. She has been doing well now though and is much smaller than my ds was when he was born...just 7lbs and so quiet! So far anyway...

Thank you all for your support and feedback! I have had you all on my mind while going through this!
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childcaremom 08:35 AM 06-06-2014
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I would send one more email "The decision is final. Do not contact me again. As stated, I will mail your refund and items to you in a timely fashion. Do not come to my house." and then do NOT open a single email from her. Save them all just in case but dont open them for weeks, give yourself the chance to have some space from this woman and do not let her ruin your maternity leave. The multiple emails just shows more bully type behavior.


Congratulations!
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MarinaVanessa 09:27 AM 06-06-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
Well dcm was quick to say she didn't mean what she said and called it a case of miscommunication stemming from her frustration at having to use her vacation days.
Things didn't go as she had hoped they would have and she lashed out at you in frustration but you didn't tolerate it and now she's back-paddling. Let's just call it what it is.

I doubt she wants to apologize and come back only until she finds another DC like someone suggested because your daycare is closed for the next 3 weeks anyway which is plenty of time to find another DC.

How do your rates compare to other DC's? Are you doing anything special for this family that may be hard to find in other DC's? I'm just wondering if she really likes you and feels bad for jumping the gun or if her motives are purely selfish or convenience.

I quoted the above because of the part in bold. My response to her would have been ...

"This is a miss-communication issue? Please clarify for me which part I was misunderstanding. The part where you said, and I quote, 'you needing 3 weeks off is ridiculous' or the part where you say 'I think you are being dishonest'. Perhaps I'm misunderstanding the part where you said that I was 'a joke'.

In any case, miss-communication or not, I do not appreciate your reaction and I will not tolerate your behavior towards me. Your choice in words, regardless of whether they stemmed from frustration or not, has changed my opinion of our partnership and it would be extremely difficult for me to continue this working relationship with you and therefore because of that I have decide to discontinue your contract. "

But that is just me. For some reason the part where she says that is was a misunderstanding really bothers me. How can someone misunderstand being called a joke??
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Laurel 09:57 AM 06-06-2014
Originally Posted by MV:
Things didn't go as she had hoped they would have and she lashed out at you in frustration but you didn't tolerate it and now she's back-paddling. Let's just call it what it is.

I doubt she wants to apologize and come back only until she finds another DC like someone suggested because your daycare is closed for the next 3 weeks anyway which is plenty of time to find another DC.

How do your rates compare to other DC's? Are you doing anything special for this family that may be hard to find in other DC's? I'm just wondering if she really likes you and feels bad for jumping the gun or if her motives are purely selfish or convenience.

I quoted the above because of the part in bold. My response to her would have been ...

"This is a miss-communication issue? Please clarify for me which part I was misunderstanding. The part where you said, and I quote, 'you needing 3 weeks off is ridiculous' or the part where you say 'I think you are being dishonest'. Perhaps I'm misunderstanding the part where you said that I was 'a joke'.

In any case, miss-communication or not, I do not appreciate your reaction and I will not tolerate your behavior towards me. Your choice in words, regardless of whether they stemmed from frustration or not, has changed my opinion of our partnership and it would be extremely difficult for me to continue this working relationship with you and therefore because of that I have decide to discontinue your contract. "

But that is just me. For some reason the part where she says that is was a misunderstanding really bothers me. How can someone misunderstand being called a joke??

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KidGrind 10:03 AM 06-06-2014
Originally Posted by MV:
Things didn't go as she had hoped they would have and she lashed out at you in frustration but you didn't tolerate it and now she's back-paddling. Let's just call it what it is.

I doubt she wants to apologize and come back only until she finds another DC like someone suggested because your daycare is closed for the next 3 weeks anyway which is plenty of time to find another DC.

How do your rates compare to other DC's? Are you doing anything special for this family that may be hard to find in other DC's? I'm just wondering if she really likes you and feels bad for jumping the gun or if her motives are purely selfish or convenience.

I quoted the above because of the part in bold. My response to her would have been ...

"This is a miss-communication issue? Please clarify for me which part I was misunderstanding. The part where you said, and I quote, 'you needing 3 weeks off is ridiculous' or the part where you say 'I think you are being dishonest'. Perhaps I'm misunderstanding the part where you said that I was 'a joke'.

In any case, miss-communication or not, I do not appreciate your reaction and I will not tolerate your behavior towards me. Your choice in words, regardless of whether they stemmed from frustration or not, has changed my opinion of our partnership and it would be extremely difficult for me to continue this working relationship with you and therefore because of that I have decide to discontinue your contract. "

But that is just me. For some reason the part where she says that is was a misunderstanding really bothers me. How can someone misunderstand being called a joke??
Yes! Yes! Yes!
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CraftyMom 10:39 AM 06-06-2014
Exactly what MV said! And I would send that to her

Horrible that you are made to feel bad about being home with your brand new baby after just having her!

Don't feel bad! You have no reason to!
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AmyLeigh 10:42 AM 06-06-2014
First, congratulations!!!

When I had my 2 older kiddos in part time daycare, the provider took 2 months off for maternity leave. Not once did I even think of getting upset with her for the inconvenience. I got enough notice to decide if I was going to have short term care until she started working again or change to another provider. I just had to decide what I had to do. (It just so happen to work out that about that time I ended up pregnant with my third and so I quit working when she went on leave.)

But to get mad about this? I just don't get people anymore.
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nannyde 10:47 AM 06-06-2014
She just wants to have you back on board so she has someone three weeks from now for sure. She will find someone and then break up with you

Parents do not like being broken up with. They just don't. It goes against their idea that we work for them and they will tell us when we can't have their money anymore. It never crosses their mind that we would ever not want their money.

It also goes against their whole "I'm in the on up". When we term they are taken out of the one up. They say words to get back into one up so that when they quit they leave the relationship as the one up.
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melilley 10:47 AM 06-06-2014
Originally Posted by e.j.:
You're not the bad guy in this. It's one thing to express frustration in a respectful manner. It's a whole other thing to tell you you're a "joke" and that it's "ridiculous" to want to take time to bond with your baby. The frustration she feels would be understandable to me. The rudeness and child-like temper tantrum would not be. There will be other times when you will need to close with little notice -like when you or your kids are sick. What kind of response will you get from her then? If it were me, I'd stick with the original decision to term and not feel guilty about it.
a million times!

I agree, it is understandable to be frustrated, but the way she went about it was so rude. Please don't feel guilty and I wouldn't take her back either. No matter how mad I was, there is no way I could say that to the person who took care of my child and I liked.

Congratulations on your new baby!
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melilley 10:50 AM 06-06-2014
Originally Posted by MV:
Things didn't go as she had hoped they would have and she lashed out at you in frustration but you didn't tolerate it and now she's back-paddling. Let's just call it what it is.

I doubt she wants to apologize and come back only until she finds another DC like someone suggested because your daycare is closed for the next 3 weeks anyway which is plenty of time to find another DC.

How do your rates compare to other DC's? Are you doing anything special for this family that may be hard to find in other DC's? I'm just wondering if she really likes you and feels bad for jumping the gun or if her motives are purely selfish or convenience.

I quoted the above because of the part in bold. My response to her would have been ...

"This is a miss-communication issue? Please clarify for me which part I was misunderstanding. The part where you said, and I quote, 'you needing 3 weeks off is ridiculous' or the part where you say 'I think you are being dishonest'. Perhaps I'm misunderstanding the part where you said that I was 'a joke'.

In any case, miss-communication or not, I do not appreciate your reaction and I will not tolerate your behavior towards me. Your choice in words, regardless of whether they stemmed from frustration or not, has changed my opinion of our partnership and it would be extremely difficult for me to continue this working relationship with you and therefore because of that I have decide to discontinue your contract. "

But that is just me. For some reason the part where she says that is was a misunderstanding really bothers me. How can someone misunderstand being called a joke??

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cheerfuldom 11:17 AM 06-06-2014
Originally Posted by nannyde:
She just wants to have you back on board so she has someone three weeks from now for sure. She will find someone and then break up with you

Parents do not like being broken up with. They just don't. It goes against their idea that we work for them and they will tell us when we can't have their money anymore. It never crosses their mind that we would ever not want their money.

It also goes against their whole "I'm in the on up". When we term they are taken out of the one up. They say words to get back into one up so that when they quit they leave the relationship as the one up.
yup. no one likes to end things without the upperhand and the last word.
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KiddieCahoots 11:37 AM 06-06-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
On a lighter note, this is an odd way for me to announce that we had a baby girl...fortunately she stayed head down after the dr flipped her back around but she gave us a scare when she came out blue and not making a noise...and then they had trouble getting her body temp up to normal. She has been doing well now though and is much smaller than my ds was when he was born...just 7lbs and so quiet! So far anyway...
Side track..........


Thank Heaven's for little girls!
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Kabob 12:01 PM 06-06-2014
Well, dh already has been sent out to mail the package so that is already done. Fortunately, she didn't really have much to send back.

I just haven't decided how to respond to her multiple apologies yet. It doesn't change anything and I agree that most likely she is buying time until she can find new daycare....and if not then I'm always going to wonder when she will ditch me.

My rates are the same on average as everyone else but my part time rates are higher so she really wasn't getting a deal...in fact I've seen people around here charge the same for part time as full time with the understanding that full time takes precedence. Usually she only needs 2 days a week and her child is in an age group that is very hard to find daycare for...especially since most daycares around here are full right now.

It still hurts that dh thinks I made this decision based purely on emotions but really...who wants to be called names or belittled at their job? I'm more mad that she sent one email that caused so much drama and stress for me and my family. I guess I just don't want to fuel the drama by responding with another email while emotional....
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MarinaVanessa 01:09 PM 06-06-2014
Your DH won't be the one watching her kid or having to deal with her though. I'd have a hard time working with her after the fact, do what's right for you and don't feel bad about it.
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crazydaycarelady 01:35 PM 06-06-2014
I think it is a blessing in disguise. She probably has the attitude that you taking 3 weeks off is ridiculous because she is one of those that thinks "you're just home all day anyway."
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craftymissbeth 02:20 PM 06-06-2014
Originally Posted by nannyde:
She just wants to have you back on board so she has someone three weeks from now for sure. She will find someone and then break up with you

Parents do not like being broken up with. They just don't. It goes against their idea that we work for them and they will tell us when we can't have their money anymore. It never crosses their mind that we would ever not want their money.

It also goes against their whole "I'm in the on up". When we term they are taken out of the one up. They say words to get back into one up so that when they quit they leave the relationship as the one up.
That's what I was thinking. Yeah, three weeks is enough time to find a new dc, but she needs you to let her back in just in case she doesn't find anyone.
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saved4always 02:52 PM 06-06-2014
Originally Posted by midaycare:
That dcm is crazy! She went through childbirth - does she not realize that most people in the US get 6 weeks off???

Sorry
This is exactly what I thought when I read the OP! I could almost see someone who had never had a child being this stupid, but someone who is a mom and went through childbirth herself??!!! Three weeks is barely enough time to recover physically, much less get into a new routine with your baby. What a rude, selfish woman. You are well rid of her.

On a happier note: Congratulations!!!! Enjoy your time off with your baby!
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saved4always 03:10 PM 06-06-2014
Originally Posted by e.j.:
You're not the bad guy in this. It's one thing to express frustration in a respectful manner. It's a whole other thing to tell you you're a "joke" and that it's "ridiculous" to want to take time to bond with your baby. The frustration she feels would be understandable to me. The rudeness and child-like temper tantrum would not be. There will be other times when you will need to close with little notice -like when you or your kids are sick. What kind of response will you get from her then? If it were me, I'd stick with the original decision to term and not feel guilty about it.
Totally agree with this, too....she did have time to think before hitting send and she sent it anyways. It is not like the rudeness just popped out of her mouth, she put it in writing. IMO, that email is her true feelings. I would let the term stand.
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Kabob 03:54 PM 06-06-2014
I actually feel really good about my decision to term now. The package should get there tomorrow and I sent a nice letter explaining that the term still stands and why. My dad is visiting right now to help out and he thought I was way nicer than he would be...dh is pleased that I sent a nice letter...

Hopefully I don't hear back from her and we can all just move forward.

Again thank you guys for all your feedback and support. It's good to know I have a place to go to share constructive opinions and get the support I need to stay in this business. I honestly never had so much drama working in any other business...
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SignMeUp 04:05 PM 06-06-2014
Going forward, you no longer have a business relationship with her. So even if she does contact you again, you have no duty to respond
I mean, what's she going to do - make more inappropriate remarks, or ask you again to reconsider termination?
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nothingwithoutjoy 06:26 PM 06-06-2014
Originally Posted by Kabob:
She is also very part time (2-3 days a week tops)
Ok, talk about ridiculous...she had this temper-tantrum over a difference of two days!

I'm so glad you're feeling better about this. You were absolutely right. And she was so wrong to spew ugliness all over what should be a happy, peaceful time for your family.
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