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Old 02-01-2013, 12:36 PM
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Default Today Is The Last Day With Daycare Babies...Ever!

I am finally on my last day EVER of taking care of daycare infants. I am completely burnt out on daycare infants and have a firm conclusion that it is not for me. Today my last daycare baby has her last day and after that, I will no longer be taking kids under 12 months and preferably not under 18 months. I have been doing daycare for not terribly long but over 5 years and have figured out that a daycare environment is really not the greatest environment for a baby. I realize some babies handle it well but the vast majority of those I know and those I have cared for did not handle it well at all. I am thinking thru the daycare kids I have had and almost all the babies were cryers! Its crazy actually and I have proof that it is not just me because again, I believe all of them were like this at home or like this with past and present providers. All these kids I had from newborn age.

1st baby I took cried for 12 months and I had to term her when my second daughter was born. DC baby was so dang clingy and also, poorly cared for in my estimation. Young parents who werent particular involved or affectionate.

2nd baby. CRIED and cried till about 2.5 years old. ended up being special needs and was better after receiving services.

3rd baby was a screamer and insanely aggressive. termed at 10 months when he was already walking and attacking people. It wasnt just curious, it was physically clawing/punching/hurting others and that was all he wanted to do. his parents said he was an "aggressive snuggler" and allowed him to punch his mom in the face. when i termed, his dad got in my face....gee, I wonder how this kid learned this behavior?

4th baby parents couldnt figure out how to get him to nap outside of his car seat. I didnt know any better at the time and allowed him to sleep in a car seat at my house. once he grew out of the seat, he cried all day from exhaustion. this went on for months and mom took him out of daycare one day when she picked up and saw him crying. she really didnt care that I said he cried here until she actually saw it. tried to sneak out with no notice and no pay but I got my two weeks pay

5th baby sweet little boy with a normal mom and i finally had a good experience with babies

6th baby turned into an angry screamer. she was spoiled and would not do a thing for herself. parents gave notice because we would not agree to not use the word "no". they straight out said they did not want their daughter told no and if we couldnt promise that, they would find someone else who would.

7th baby pretty good little kid but had this high pitch shriek she would do all the time, even when happy. it was just so jolting and unnerving and i let her go after my 3rd child was born. it was like a siren going off at random and me and the kids just couldnt listen to that anymore

8th baby i still have her. she is 2.5 and a good kid with normal parents.

9th baby this is the one that has her last day today. clueless parents that try so many parenting methods from various books that they have horribly confused this child. she was so darling and then around 6 months, when parents starting "trying" stuff with her to get her to do things/hit milestones, she would just cry all day every day. they have also weaned her, cut her down to one nap, and various huge life changes that is way too much too fast. i cant handle the after math of their methods so out she goes.

These were all kids that I had as newborns. I have had much better luck with starting older kids, 12 months or so and I am going to stick with that. I will also say that all of these kids minus one were only children and I think that contributes to the craziness. The parents dont know what they are doing or really think that their way is right because they dont see the full affect of the things they are trying.

anyway, this post helps me see that yes, I am doing the right thing in no longer taking infants!!
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  #2  
Old 02-01-2013, 12:53 PM
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I have had the same rule for years and I love it. My favorite age is the range from 16 month-3 years. They grow so much during that time that they amaze me every day with some new discovery. I will take kids at 12 months although I prefer a little older. I didn't have a lot of crying infants or anything I was just always scared of SIDS so I had a hard time putting them down. This made my days so hard and I never felt I could do anything with the other children. I thought it would limit me but so far so good. I have several moms who said when they have another child they will take the baby to a different daycare until they are old enough to come here and join their older sibling.
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Old 02-01-2013, 01:45 PM
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Im going to private measage you about needing to term a screamer.
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Old 02-01-2013, 01:50 PM
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I am the same way.

NO babies.

Except for current families & I will be phasing this out too. Found my program and runs so much better.

I also don't care for SA.
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Old 02-01-2013, 01:52 PM
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Originally Posted by wahmof3 View Post
I am the same way.

NO babies.

Except for current families & I will be phasing this out too. Found my program and runs so much better.

I also don't care for SA.
I dont mind school agers but I wont keep them for full days because they dont nap. but I have three of my own four kids still need their nap so I have to have that quiet time for them.
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Old 02-01-2013, 02:04 PM
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I dont mind school agers but I wont keep them for full days because they dont nap. but I have three of my own four kids still need their nap so I have to have that quiet time for them.
I have had some bad experiences with SA.

I had a set of siblings that were here about an hour or so everyday and I would be in tears after they left.

Another set of siblings that one was perfect and the other was not a good influence on my own kids. Was so thankful when DCM was laid off (I was really new and didn't know much about terming services).

I think its wonderful that we are able to decide what types of services we want to provide (infant care, toddlers, SA, etc).
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Old 02-01-2013, 02:24 PM
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Originally Posted by wahmof3 View Post
I have had some bad experiences with SA.

I had a set of siblings that were here about an hour or so everyday and I would be in tears after they left.

Another set of siblings that one was perfect and the other was not a good influence on my own kids. Was so thankful when DCM was laid off (I was really new and didn't know much about terming services).

I think its wonderful that we are able to decide what types of services we want to provide (infant care, toddlers, SA, etc).
yes, the best part of this job is that you can change hours, days, rates, ages to what you can do and try and make it work for you! one of the few perks I would say.
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Old 02-01-2013, 08:36 PM
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I've been in business for 6yrs and only care for children 18mo+. I will, on occasion watch a SA (previous client only) but they are just too much for me. They come home full of pent up energy and start to rile all the little ones up (it's hard enough having my own SA home LOL!)
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Old 02-02-2013, 05:39 AM
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I stopped taking babies after my last screamer, too! I termed him over a year ago, and he is now back in care and doing WONDERFULLY! (Mom decided to be a SAHM until he could handle daycare).

I am SO happy for you!
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Old 02-02-2013, 06:45 AM
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I stopped taking babies after my last screamer, too! I termed him over a year ago, and he is now back in care and doing WONDERFULLY! (Mom decided to be a SAHM until he could handle daycare).

I am SO happy for you!
thats a wonderful ending! I really think most babies should just be at home with mom. i realize that not everyone can or chooses that option but IMO, it is what is best for the baby.
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Old 02-02-2013, 12:58 PM
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I always seem to get the screaming babies also and 90% of my calls are parents needing care for their infant. I have not been doing this long but I have learned that infants are a lot harder to deal with. I have 2 in my care right now and they are both screamers. I am getting burned out and have honestly thought about not taking kids under a year. I just have to grow the backbone and decide what I am going to do and when.
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Old 02-02-2013, 03:58 PM
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I won't take babies either...they are too time consuming and take away from all the fun and educational stuff you can offer to the other kids.
I also don't like SA, as they come into the home and do things that are perfectly fine for kids their age, but then the younger ones see them doing it and try to copy the behaviors...not here.
I used to do daycare before when my two youngest girls were toddlers/preschoolers. I was able to weed my kids out throughout the first year and a half to where I had ALL girls who were in the same age ranges as my own. I absolutely loved it. I'm still in contact with all the girls and have even had one of their babies in my new daycare when I first started back up...luckily the mom didn't work long so I didn't have her long.
I thought I was the only one who had issues with babies and thought I must be doing something wrong...thank goodness I'm not the only one who feels this way about infants in my daycare.
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Old 02-02-2013, 04:00 PM
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For many years I took kids from 6 weeks until 12 years. I stopped taking kids under 18 months for a while but still felt stressed about the daily work load. I had a SA kid that was shall we say, "really hard to deal with" and because of that one SA kid, I decided to not take SA'ers anymore.

Wow!!! What a huge difference. Not having the SA'ers in care also made me realize that the infants weren't so tough. Especially when I wasn't having to constantly re-direct or assist the SA'ers.

I also learned along the way that not taking a child until 18 months was hard because I wasn't involved in their upbringing until that point. Making the toddler and early preschool years kind of tough for some kids.

Now I take infants at 6 weeks again, but ONLY from currently enrolled families. Training an infant from the get go makes any behavior or other issues that could pop up later much easier to manage and deal with.
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Old 02-02-2013, 05:35 PM
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Luckily here in Canada babies don't usually start daycare until close to 12 months of age...which I really prefer...it used to be 6 months and that wasn't too bad unless you got a screamer . I will NEVER take school agers again...I've had lots of them over the 25 years I have been doing daycare but i don't enjoy them being here....I have a much better time with the 12 months to 4 year olds...after that, I don't seem to have the patience for them...they just can't seem to do anything for themselves or play unless it's electric, makes noise or I play it for them...
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Old 02-02-2013, 07:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
For many years I took kids from 6 weeks until 12 years. I stopped taking kids under 18 months for a while but still felt stressed about the daily work load. I had a SA kid that was shall we say, "really hard to deal with" and because of that one SA kid, I decided to not take SA'ers anymore.

Wow!!! What a huge difference. Not having the SA'ers in care also made me realize that the infants weren't so tough. Especially when I wasn't having to constantly re-direct or assist the SA'ers.

I also learned along the way that not taking a child until 18 months was hard because I wasn't involved in their upbringing until that point. Making the toddler and early preschool years kind of tough for some kids.

Now I take infants at 6 weeks again, but ONLY from currently enrolled families. Training an infant from the get go makes any behavior or other issues that could pop up later much easier to manage and deal with.
i see how you would feel this way about starting with a baby from the beginning. i think that is a good plan for many kids. the continuity is important. however, i have had good experiences with starting older kids, over 12 months old. that is still hard work but nothing compared to the majority of babies that cry from 4 months to 12 months or so it would seem. plus now three of my four kids are preschool age (2 to 5) and i hate holding the household back due to babies and napping. we like to go for a walk every day, get outside a lot and recently, i have the room now to do short trips to the library as well as school pick ups. generally first time parents of infants do not want their babies transported and many dont even want them out of the house. my provider friend said that she has had several parents specifically request that their baby not even go in the providers backyard. they want them in the play room at all times! anyway, babies just dont mesh well with me and what i can provide and i am sick of the crying (which seems to be an issue with most babies in daycare?) so it was a happy day on friday when i let that kid go. she SCREAMED right before pickup but i didnt mind.....last time i have to hear that ever!!
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Old 02-02-2013, 07:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wahmof3 View Post
I am the same way.

NO babies.

Except for current families & I will be phasing this out too. Found my program and runs so much better.

I also don't care for SA.
Same here!

Beginning this year I will only be accepting children 18 months and older except for current families. My main reason is that babies are time consuming but also here there is a lot of extra daily paperwork that has to be done when you keep infants.

I also don't accept new SA kids (only kids currently enrolled that start school). The last SA boy I enrolled came in and cause total havoc. (I was so happy when his state assistant was termed)
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Old 02-03-2013, 07:37 AM
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i see how you would feel this way about starting with a baby from the beginning. i think that is a good plan for many kids. the continuity is important. however, i have had good experiences with starting older kids, over 12 months old. that is still hard work but nothing compared to the majority of babies that cry from 4 months to 12 months or so it would seem. plus now three of my four kids are preschool age (2 to 5) and i hate holding the household back due to babies and napping. we like to go for a walk every day, get outside a lot and recently, i have the room now to do short trips to the library as well as school pick ups. generally first time parents of infants do not want their babies transported and many dont even want them out of the house. my provider friend said that she has had several parents specifically request that their baby not even go in the providers backyard. they want them in the play room at all times! anyway, babies just dont mesh well with me and what i can provide and i am sick of the crying (which seems to be an issue with most babies in daycare?) so it was a happy day on friday when i let that kid go. she SCREAMED right before pickup but i didnt mind.....last time i have to hear that ever!!
That is probably the BIGGEST obstacle when having infants in care.

I am pretty picky too about the infants I have (all based on experiences in the past).

The baby must be from a current family (eliminates any 'first time mom' issues)
The baby must be a fairly happy-go-lucky babe. (I will NOT devote time/energy into caring for a high needs or super unhappy baby...BTDT)
The baby must love being outdoors....because I do take them out with us every time.

I understand that not all babies are easy and I know I am discriminating against those ones that aren't easy...but I need to do what is best for my own sanity and so far, it works for me and I haven't had to term any "tough" babies in a while so...so far so good.

Ask me again in a couple years and I might have a different answer for you.
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Old 02-03-2013, 09:05 AM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
That is probably the BIGGEST obstacle when having infants in care.

I am pretty picky too about the infants I have (all based on experiences in the past).

The baby must be from a current family (eliminates any 'first time mom' issues)
The baby must be a fairly happy-go-lucky babe. (I will NOT devote time/energy into caring for a high needs or super unhappy baby...BTDT)
The baby must love being outdoors....because I do take them out with us every time.

I understand that not all babies are easy and I know I am discriminating against those ones that aren't easy...but I need to do what is best for my own sanity and so far, it works for me and I haven't had to term any "tough" babies in a while so...so far so good.

Ask me again in a couple years and I might have a different answer for you.
these are good guidelines. I would LOVE for any of my daycare families to have a second baby but only one has in the past almost 6 years! the only family that had a second was that family that gave notice because they did not want their child told "no". They also did not want us to use that word for any of the other kids for fear their daughter would over hear it and be upset (mind you, she is like 8 months!) so yeah, they did not stay and from my understanding, mom started staying home with both kids down the road. but yes, the personality of the child makes a big difference! my own youngest is almost 3 months and he is very happy to go along with the program....very little crying, loves being outdoors, just fine to hold off on a nap or even go down early. my other experience with a couple of these kids is that they were very easy going babies and the more time went on, the more their parents ruined them....trying crazy methods and parenting techniques and doing exactly the opposite of what should be done for kids in group care. you know, co sleeping/nursing to sleep and then leaving their kid with no self soothing at daycare, pushing their kid to meet milestones, cutting out naps WAY too soon and there is only so much you can do with a child when the parents will not work together.
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Old 02-03-2013, 12:40 PM
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Funny, I LOVE babies! I prefer babies! But, maybe I have just been lucky and had great babies......
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Old 02-03-2013, 12:50 PM
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Funny, I LOVE babies! I prefer babies! But, maybe I have just been lucky and had great babies......
I would be glad to send you the 2 babies I have and you would change your mind REALLY REALLY fast. I have never had such needy and fussy babies but the parents think its normal. I am sorry but its not normal for a 6 month old to not nap for 9 straight hours. It's not normal for your child to scream the bloody murder scream because he is not being held. The joys of spoiled babies!!!
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Old 02-03-2013, 12:55 PM
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Yes, I really feel for the caregivers that have high-needs babies. I had one of my own!! I would never have even considered a daycare for him, he needed one-on-one constant attention, so much as to even wear his mother out.

So glad you will start out a new week with one less stress
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