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  #1  
Old 10-26-2011, 08:31 PM
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Default Angry Baby

Everything, darn near, this baby (almost 2) does is "naughty". He hits, knocks over block towers, takes toys. The look on his little face is always pure mischief. It seems really unnatural for such a young child.

He gets angry and screams. He does things for attention obviously but also shows what looks like true anger and nearly rage.

I put him in pack n play or otherwise corralled when he hits, saying, "no hitting" or "be kind to your friends, give love". This happens about a thousand times per day.

I try to be calm but sometimes I get irritated by the constant messing with others that I get stern and defensive with him..don't want to feed him more anger but want him to know it isn't acceptable.

His brother (3.5) demonstrates similar behaviors but I've been able to get through to him much more.

When I hold the baby he wraps his arm around my neck and does not want to let go.

Rarely do I see him happy and actually playing. When I do I want to encourage but not disturb a good thing.

It's quite disturbing and little guy spends a goodly part of his day in quarantine. I put toys with him and often he plays nicely and watches others play but sometimes he will angrily yell (brother does the same yell).

I feel like he really needs something. I cannot hold and cuddle him all day, obviously. I cannot allow him to hurt and bother others all day....

HELP!
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  #2  
Old 10-26-2011, 09:09 PM
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oh my, that sounds so exhausting. has he been with you very long?
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  #3  
Old 10-26-2011, 09:11 PM
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He's been with me several months. It is fairly exhausting but moreso just disturbing for such a little guy...and frustrating that I'm not giving him what he needs.

part of it i forgot to mention, too, is that he still gets pacifier and bottles at home, probably a lot. I took him off nap bottles here months ago and never gave him a paci at my house.

His brother will say, he needs his paci.
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Old 10-27-2011, 08:02 AM
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I have a sibling pair her that is similar.....they are happy sometimes, but when their tempers flair or their feelings are hurt their reactions are disterbing.

I have had one for 5 years and the lsibling for 2.5 and she is expecting again. It is exhasting. I haven't figured it out yet so I can't offer any advice, just letting you know you are not alone
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Old 10-27-2011, 08:16 AM
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I had the same issue with a child around the same age. He got to the point of biting too, until the other child chomped on him at the same time, and they both never bit again. I had to literally open their mouths for them to let go of each other. And he nearly broke my fish tank in a fit of rage.


I struggled with this boy everyday. But his issue was he was an only child, and was completely babied at home. So your scenario is a bit different.

The only thing I knew to do was time out everytime, he even got the point of putting himself in time out. Honestly when I started reading your post, I thought you were the new daycare for my old dcb!

You sound like you are doing everything right. I would consider thinking about writing this up, and in the near future if it doesn't improve, advising the parents that 3 more strikes (with violent behavior towards anything or anyone) and he will have to leave.
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Old 10-27-2011, 08:17 AM
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I think you need to use Nan's divide and conquer strategy with this guy. Get a supergate play yard (a bit bigger than a pack and play), and create an area just for him. Change out some of the toys every couple of days (even egg cartons and paper towel rolls are toys), and put it near the others, but so he is seperate.

This way he can watch the other children, but not hurt them. Each day, when you can sit down nearby, bring him out and help him do something cooperative with the other children. Complement him when he does his part, but shadow him. I say each day, at the same time, so that he then doesn't stand at the rail crying to get out.

I would present it to him as a gift, not a punishment. "you have your own area to play in, lucky you"...
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Old 10-27-2011, 08:30 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bbo View Post
I think you need to use Nan's divide and conquer strategy with this guy. Get a supergate play yard (a bit bigger than a pack and play), and create an area just for him. Change out some of the toys every couple of days (even egg cartons and paper towel rolls are toys), and put it near the others, but so he is seperate.

This way he can watch the other children, but not hurt them. Each day, when you can sit down nearby, bring him out and help him do something cooperative with the other children. Complement him when he does his part, but shadow him. I say each day, at the same time, so that he then doesn't stand at the rail crying to get out.

I would present it to him as a gift, not a punishment. "you have your own area to play in, lucky you"...
Yes, I have thought that a play yard would be better and this is how I treat the pack n play too, as a reward (mostly, lol).

I wonder if anyone has recommendations for play yards that work well before I make the investment?
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  #8  
Old 10-27-2011, 08:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dEHmom View Post
I had the same issue with a child around the same age. He got to the point of biting too, until the other child chomped on him at the same time, and they both never bit again. I had to literally open their mouths for them to let go of each other. And he nearly broke my fish tank in a fit of rage.


I struggled with this boy everyday. But his issue was he was an only child, and was completely babied at home. So your scenario is a bit different.

The only thing I knew to do was time out everytime, he even got the point of putting himself in time out. Honestly when I started reading your post, I thought you were the new daycare for my old dcb!

You sound like you are doing everything right. I would consider thinking about writing this up, and in the near future if it doesn't improve, advising the parents that 3 more strikes (with violent behavior towards anything or anyone) and he will have to leave.
Mom is pretty harsh I think...smacks and spanks a lot but also uses convenience stuff like candy and pacifier. I'm not exactly sure what all goes on at home.

I really want to help this woman and her kids. I think she trusts me but I have to be bold enough to tell her what's up. Whether she follows through is yet to be known. I've given her advice before to which she said she agreed or was a good idea but I don't think it ever happened.

I think I can handle this without termination.
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  #9  
Old 10-27-2011, 08:44 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hoopinglady View Post
Mom is pretty harsh I think...smacks and spanks a lot but also uses convenience stuff like candy and pacifier. I'm not exactly sure what all goes on at home.

I really want to help this woman and her kids. I think she trusts me but I have to be bold enough to tell her what's up. Whether she follows through is yet to be known. I've given her advice before to which she said she agreed or was a good idea but I don't think it ever happened.

I think I can handle this without termination.
I wasn't thinking you should terminate, but once parents realize their kid is a brat, and may be kicked out, sometimes they are more willing to start working on their child. If she is treating the kid for quiet, or bad behavior she is reinforcing it. Sometimes parents don't realize they are doing that too. As long as the parent is aware of it, they may work with you to improve it. My dcb that was like this, his cry/anger was like a duck quacking. it literally sounded like donald duck was in my house.
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  #10  
Old 10-27-2011, 08:52 AM
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The supergate system is the least expensive, I think. I did find a nice wooden system on Amazon, but it's a lot more money.

They add up to be about 35 square feet with the extender. IF you have that much space to use, I would give him that much. In WI that is the minimum indoor space per child, and that way you wont be impeding his movement.

I like the idea of having it mounted in a corner the best, because then you can attach some things to the open wall, such as a mirror, or a latch board, or a felt board. I think it's important to keep things interesting in there for him.

My policy, by the way, is anything thrown out stays out for the rest of the day. If he is a thrower, he will be really bored!

http://www.amazon.com/Stanford-Distr...9727187&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.com/Superyard-3-1-...9727373&sr=8-2
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  #11  
Old 10-27-2011, 08:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dEHmom View Post
I wasn't thinking you should terminate, but once parents realize their kid is a brat, and may be kicked out, sometimes they are more willing to start working on their child. If she is treating the kid for quiet, or bad behavior she is reinforcing it. Sometimes parents don't realize they are doing that too. As long as the parent is aware of it, they may work with you to improve it. My dcb that was like this, his cry/anger was like a duck quacking. it literally sounded like donald duck was in my house.

lol, angry duck, that's bad.

Very good point, though, I get it now.

Parents can't help if they aren't aware of the problem huh? Sometimes I just get the feeling that telling them would be pointless or even make things worse. Still, I reckon it's good that parents are aware...
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  #12  
Old 10-27-2011, 09:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hoopinglady View Post
lol, angry duck, that's bad.

Very good point, though, I get it now.

Parents can't help if they aren't aware of the problem huh? Sometimes I just get the feeling that telling them would be pointless or even make things worse. Still, I reckon it's good that parents are aware...
They need to be aware. I don't think parents need to know every detail of their childs day. Sure kids hit, kick, cry, etc. But when it's an issue that is progressively getting worse, parents need to be on the same page. And you know what, if the parents are going to say "oh well not my problem" and not try to resolve the issue, then they aren't worth being a client. IMO. You don't need to deal with that. Kids go through phases, and they are going to test boundaries. But there are kids out there that don't give a hoot, and only get worse.
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  #13  
Old 10-27-2011, 05:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bbo View Post
The supergate system is the least expensive, I think. I did find a nice wooden system on Amazon, but it's a lot more money.

They add up to be about 35 square feet with the extender. IF you have that much space to use, I would give him that much. In WI that is the minimum indoor space per child, and that way you wont be impeding his movement.

I like the idea of having it mounted in a corner the best, because then you can attach some things to the open wall, such as a mirror, or a latch board, or a felt board. I think it's important to keep things interesting in there for him.

My policy, by the way, is anything thrown out stays out for the rest of the day. If he is a thrower, he will be really bored!

http://www.amazon.com/Stanford-Distr...9727187&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.com/Superyard-3-1-...9727373&sr=8-2
Thank you so much. In my research, some of the reviews state that the play yard gets scooted across the floor by the kids. Has this been a problem for anyone? I have hardwood floors.

I think this could really be a good and safe solution and teaching tool.
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  #14  
Old 10-27-2011, 06:04 PM
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Yes they scoot it everywhere and drives me crazy! So I wedge it between my couch,loveseat, and coffee table. No problems now
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