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  #1  
Old 02-28-2012, 01:11 PM
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Default Do DCP Mind If Your Hubby Is Home

My hubby is working nightshifts lately (not the usual for him) and I am just wondering if you have had parents seem a little weirded out by this.
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Old 02-28-2012, 01:21 PM
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my hubby doesnt always but has been. In my opinion this is home too ppl should understand that. Also by law he has a background check. If they dont they can keep looking because like i said i will not make my husband uncomfortable in his own home..

On the other hand my mil husband was home once and she does daycare as well, a parent ended up calling her licensor and asking if she had a background check on him...

I understand people are worried, but like i said this is my husbands home as well, and i will not make him uncomfortable in his own home..
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Old 02-28-2012, 01:22 PM
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If anyone ever had an issue with my husband they would be asked to leave my daycare.

IN CA anyone over the age 18 that resides in your home must go through all of the same background checks as the provider.
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Old 02-28-2012, 01:24 PM
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My hubby has alot of days off, he has alot of use or loose leave days so sometimes he will take off a friday and monday.

If they are weirded out by it, they have never said anything. I always introduce him at the initial interview too. He has gone through all the background cks and is an approved substitute. If they have a problem with him than they would need to come get their kids when I leave for appointments.

On an added note, my DCkids love him! He is the fun one that doesnt remember all the "rules" and lets them watch tv and play video games more often than I do. I am sure if you left it open to the kids, they would pick him over me most days.

Last edited by Michael; 02-28-2012 at 01:36 PM.
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Old 02-28-2012, 01:24 PM
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Nope. He comes home around 2 pm, and at pick up time, he is almost always in the living room or kitchen, or outside in nicer weather.

We have to be background checked, so that helps, but all my parents like him. They chat sometimes at pick up.
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Old 02-28-2012, 01:24 PM
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If anyone ever had an issue with my husband they would be asked to leave my daycare.

IN CA anyone over the age 18 that resides in your home must go through all of the same background checks as the provider.
ditto!

My dck's LOVE my husband. He's a tree and they are the monkeys!
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Old 02-28-2012, 01:25 PM
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One woman said something when I first opened my daycare. She said that it made her uncomfortable for my husband to be here all day (occasionally he works from home upstairs in the office). I replied, "I will have your notice emailed this evening." She was shocked and said that she didn't want to leave. I said, "Well, this is his home. He is my husband and father of my children. He belongs here. If you are uncomfortable with it, that is your issue. But I don't like what you are implying about someone I love so you will be leaving. I made that decision for you." She tried to talk me out of it, but it was to little, too late.
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Old 02-28-2012, 01:28 PM
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Originally Posted by JenNJ View Post
One woman said something when I first opened my daycare. She said that it made her uncomfortable for my husband to be here all day (occasionally he works from home upstairs in the office). I replied, "I will have your notice emailed this evening." She was shocked and said that she didn't want to leave. I said, "Well, this is his home. He is my husband and father of my children. He belongs here. If you are uncomfortable with it, that is your issue. But I don't like what you are implying about someone I love so you will be leaving. I made that decision for you." She tried to talk me out of it, but it was to little, too late.
I love that!!! Good job!!
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Old 02-28-2012, 01:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JenNJ View Post
One woman said something when I first opened my daycare. She said that it made her uncomfortable for my husband to be here all day (occasionally he works from home upstairs in the office). I replied, "I will have your notice emailed this evening." She was shocked and said that she didn't want to leave. I said, "Well, this is his home. He is my husband and father of my children. He belongs here. If you are uncomfortable with it, that is your issue. But I don't like what you are implying about someone I love so you will be leaving. I made that decision for you." She tried to talk me out of it, but it was to little, too late.


LOVE that!!!
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  #10  
Old 02-28-2012, 01:33 PM
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Originally Posted by MrsB View Post

If they are weirded out by it, they have never said anything. I always introduce him at the initial interview too. He has gone through all the background cks and is an approved substitute. If they have a problem with him than they would need to come get their kids when I leave for appointments.

On an added note, my DCkids love him! He is the fun one that doesnt remember all the "rules" and lets them watch tv and play video games more often than I do. I am sure if you left it open to the kids, they would pick him over me most days.
This is my DH exactly. He's my sub, everyone knows that and no one has said anything. He's also a lot "nicer" than I am with rules and things. Kids love him.

I get that some people are nervous around men (I can be as well sometimes) but then they should be with a center or a daycare that has a single woman as the provider. You can't ask a resident of the house who has cleared the background check to leave their house because someone has their own issues.

Last edited by Michael; 02-28-2012 at 01:36 PM.
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Old 02-28-2012, 01:36 PM
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When I first started, I had some parents that did NOT like seeing my husband (several different families). They wanted this to be their kids daycare, not someone's house. Now, it is the opposite. I get complaints when my husband is here and not playing with the daycare kids. If my DCPs ever see my husband out doing something with our kids, they get upset that their kid is not being included. Talk about a 180. anyway, we try to keep it professional but I'm not changing anything just because one person complains.
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Old 02-28-2012, 01:38 PM
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My husband is semi-retired. He works 3 mornings a week, but he's here the rest of the time. My dck's love him, and he loves them. He doesn't care for them, no diapers or watching them while I go somewhere (at least no further than the bathroom), and I don't think he would ever be my sub unless it was a temporary emergency.

At pick-up, he's usually in the living room, reading or watching tv. All of my kids have to stop and go in there to hug him good bye before they will leave. One little one makes him put her coat on her. My parents are fine with it, pausing and saying "Tell JeJe (their name for him) bye".

They often have to wait while the kids tell the cats goodbye too, so I tell him not to feel too flattered.
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  #13  
Old 02-28-2012, 01:39 PM
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Like most have said, DH is registered as my sub and backup.

He takes the same mandatory training classes, passed the same annual background check and is 100% as capable at this job as I am.

The kids LOVE when he is here. The parents love it too since it allows us to do more outside activities.
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  #14  
Old 02-28-2012, 01:43 PM
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Yeah -- my dh is a total rock star in this house. They literally jump up and down and scream his name when he walks in the door. And then the kids start asking to be thrown up in the air or spun around.
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  #15  
Old 02-28-2012, 01:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zoe View Post
This is my DH exactly. He's my sub, everyone knows that and no one has said anything. He's also a lot "nicer" than I am with rules and things. Kids love him.

I get that some people are nervous around men (I can be as well sometimes) but then they should be with a center or a daycare that has a single woman as the provider. You can't ask a resident of the house who has cleared the background check to leave their house because someone has their own issues.
ditto mine too. He is also my sub...
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  #16  
Old 02-28-2012, 01:52 PM
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Mine is not my sub, however the children love him... They are always asking about him when he is not around... And he is much more leaniant then I.
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  #17  
Old 02-28-2012, 01:52 PM
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I love when my DH is home! He is a great helper and the kids love him!

I had a DCM a few years ago question who was all allowed in my house while her daughter was here. I wasn't quite sure what she meant so she rephrased it to WHO might be in my home while DCG was here.

I responded with me, my assistant, my children, my husband, occasionally my mom and dad (if they come visit for a weekend, they usually don't leave until Monday) and anyone else I deem fit to be here.

I had bread delivered once a week from a deli here in town. He is a dear friend of mine. She seen him here one day and she had a fit because he was putting bread on the shelves in the garage. He wasn't even in the house!

I told her that I am not always able to go places to get what I need, nor can I fix everything. I told her that there would be an occasion where I may need to call a plumber, an HVAC tech, etc.

I understand that these parents are concerned but at the same time, I never allow the technician or the kids near one another. I have a big enough house and enough play areas that they would never have to come into contact with each other.
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  #18  
Old 02-28-2012, 01:54 PM
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Wow, I cant believe that your parents dont mind.

I know that if my hubby was my sub, my DC parents would flip out and fire me.

Not a word of a lie.

My DCK's all know him and they are fine with him but the parents, not so much.

We both have our background checks done too, it's just the parents that would freak.
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  #19  
Old 02-28-2012, 02:00 PM
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In my case, I think it's a case of degrees of separation. Because of our former business and being a small town, all but one of my parents either knew us from that, or their parents knew us, or friends of friends. One of my single moms acted sort of awkward the first few times her daughter reached for hubby as they walked by, but she never said anything. She's very young and a single mom, and I think it surprised her. After a few days, she relaxed and is fine with it.
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  #20  
Old 02-28-2012, 02:01 PM
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My hubby is occasionally home. My DCPs have never said they didn't like it. If they didn't care for the situation then they are free to find other care. They all met him during the interview process and so have no reason to complain. He lives here.

It always floors me when I hear about parents who dislike a father in his home. Floors me.
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  #21  
Old 02-28-2012, 02:03 PM
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My dck's LOVE my husband. He's a tree and they are the monkeys!
My DCF's all love my DH too! The kids think of him as their personal jungle gym!

DH is also my sub and participates in all training requirements and background checks.

Many of my DCF's have hired him to do remodels and/or furniture builds for them too.
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  #22  
Old 02-28-2012, 02:04 PM
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When I was a parent, I picked up my children and the OP's husband was home. I didn't care a bit, but I think she was a little nervous about it bc she went on to explain why he was there and that he took 1/2 day, etc etc. I never really thought anything about it.

Sometimes my DH is here when the parents pick up, etc and I have no idea if the parents have an issue with it but I don't care if they do. It's his house and they can go elsewhere if they have a problem with it. The kids love him and I think they even like playing with him more than me

When I did my interviews, he was there for every one of them. I wanted the parents to get to meet my entire family before they came so they were comfortable (and we were too), with everything. He is the father of my children, and an excellent one at that- if he's good enough for my girls, he's good enough for other kids too.
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Old 02-28-2012, 02:06 PM
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I've never had a parent complain.

My dh is home 24/7. He does most of the errand running and picks up all of the grandkids from school. I'll hand him the baby (10 mo) to give her a bottle. He helps out with meals and supervising, but wouldn't touch a diaper even if I asked.
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Old 02-28-2012, 02:14 PM
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... wouldn't touch a diaper even if I asked.


That's mine! I'm getting a newborn soon, and mom says he isn't colicky but some days, he cries a lot. When the grandkids were small, hubby was a baby whisperer with the colicky grandkids. I'm going to test him to see if he still has that talent. If he does, I'm going to make him retire completely and sit with this crying baby all day.
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Old 02-28-2012, 02:20 PM
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Originally Posted by JenNJ View Post
One woman said something when I first opened my daycare. She said that it made her uncomfortable for my husband to be here all day (occasionally he works from home upstairs in the office). I replied, "I will have your notice emailed this evening." She was shocked and said that she didn't want to leave. I said, "Well, this is his home. He is my husband and father of my children. He belongs here. If you are uncomfortable with it, that is your issue. But I don't like what you are implying about someone I love so you will be leaving. I made that decision for you." She tried to talk me out of it, but it was to little, too late.

This. I've never had the issue come up, but if it did, that would be the way I'd handle it. My house, my business, my decision. I don't really care whether they "mind" or not.
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Old 02-28-2012, 03:12 PM
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ditto!

My dck's LOVE my husband. He's a tree and they are the monkeys!
Same here... the minute my husband gets in the door! Poor guy!
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Old 02-28-2012, 03:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JenNJ View Post
One woman said something when I first opened my daycare. She said that it made her uncomfortable for my husband to be here all day (occasionally he works from home upstairs in the office). I replied, "I will have your notice emailed this evening." She was shocked and said that she didn't want to leave. I said, "Well, this is his home. He is my husband and father of my children. He belongs here. If you are uncomfortable with it, that is your issue. But I don't like what you are implying about someone I love so you will be leaving. I made that decision for you." She tried to talk me out of it, but it was to little, too late.
Good for you!!!!

My dck's love my DH - he's the "fun" one. DCP's have never had issue either, I think they like that this is a family atmosphere. My DH is probably home 1-2 days a week - at least part of the day so they can either be ok with it or they can find another daycare.
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Old 02-28-2012, 07:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JenNJ View Post
One woman said something when I first opened my daycare. She said that it made her uncomfortable for my husband to be here all day (occasionally he works from home upstairs in the office). I replied, "I will have your notice emailed this evening." She was shocked and said that she didn't want to leave. I said, "Well, this is his home. He is my husband and father of my children. He belongs here. If you are uncomfortable with it, that is your issue. But I don't like what you are implying about someone I love so you will be leaving. I made that decision for you." She tried to talk me out of it, but it was to little, too late.
I think this was a perfect response! That was insulting of the woman to imply anything negative about your husband.
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Old 02-28-2012, 07:53 PM
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;My husband is not usually here except in the morning when some of the kids are dropped off. None of the parents seem to be bothered with him being here...of course, it is obvious that he is getting ready to leave for work. They know I am happily married and that I have children so it should not be shocking if they see any of them here occassionally. I have 2 teen age sons and no one has blinked an eye when they see them here. After all, this is a home and we are a family so we all live here.

Now, I did have one mom ask one of my references how she felf about my teen age sons being here (they got off school before pick up). My reference gave them glowing reviews so the mom was fine. I never thought about being offended by it. I think mothers of small children don't realize that the stereotype about teens is not always the reality and that many teen age boys are actually good kids (like mine ) .
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Old 02-28-2012, 08:02 PM
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*I* mind if my husband is home.
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Old 02-28-2012, 08:20 PM
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I'm the odd man out, I guess. I wouldn't have seen the dc mom's comment as insulting necessarily or as an insinuation about my husband or son. A lot would depend on her tone and attitude, but when a day care parent expresses concern about anything, I try to understand where she's coming from and then I work to put her mind at ease. I think most parents just want reassurance that their children will be safe while in my care.

If after discussing her concerns, she was still uncomfortable or demanded that my husband and/or son stay away from home during d/c hours, I would suggest she find another day care provider but I don't think I would have terminated her for expressing concern initially. JMHO.
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Old 02-28-2012, 08:50 PM
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I have never had anyone make a comment about it and my DH is home occasionally. He is in the military and so he has had all background checks, certifications, etc. He is also my sub as outlined in the HB which everyone signed!
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Old 02-28-2012, 09:09 PM
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I would take offense if someone was uncomfortable with dh here. He is an awesome dad and wonderful with kids, diapers included!
However, from a parent's POV, I can understand. In my town, a provider of 20+ years completely lost her business when her husband was arrested for possession of child *****graphy. None of her daycare children were victimized, but who would trust her after that?
You can never be too careful in this day and age.
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Old 02-29-2012, 03:36 AM
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Hubby isn't around much during DC due to his work schedule, but my (almost 16 yr old) son is always here.

He is everyone's big brother. The school agers follow him around like he's a rock star.

He loves the outdoors, so he is our "resident outdoor specialist". He leads us on hikes through the woods and teaches them about animal tracks and tree bark and how to braid rope out of grass. He's too much, but that's another thread.

He comes on all our field trips, and helps out ALOT. He pushes kids on swings, and helps them up when the fall. He plays board games and builds legos with them.

I have a 7 year old DCG who's brother left for Iraq last year. She is devestated, to say the least. It has really affected her. She has really taken to my son, and I think it's helping her to cope. I spoke with mom and dad, to make sure we are all comfortable with it and on the same page, and the are more then greatful he is here, and so willing to be a surrogate big brother.

I'm the luckiest mom in the world to have such an awesome kid, who not only tolerates my DC, but is willing to be a big part of it as well.

If any parent had an issue with that, then this isn't the right place for them.
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Old 02-29-2012, 07:05 AM
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I am a family childcare home. If you don't like the family part, don't let the door hit ya, where the good Lord........
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Old 02-29-2012, 07:12 AM
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MY DH is home ALOT... he has odd hours and they are not consistent. I explain at all interviews that he is my backup and will be home a lot. Not one has ever expressed any concern. In addition, the kids absolutely adore him. He is the FUN guy that they love to play with and climb on. The DCPs get to see their child's face light up when they see him, so I hope they are happy that is here so often.
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Old 02-29-2012, 07:16 AM
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My dh is gone by the time I open at 7:30am and is only home on (some) days before I close for a max of 15 minutes. I guess because he is not typically home during the hours I operate I have never really had an issue come up with it. We both work relatively the same hours which is really nice because we get the same hours off, but I am envious of some of you that has their dh home lots during the day. Oh how I wish! lol Maybe someday!
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Old 02-29-2012, 08:01 AM
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My dh is gone by the time I open at 7:30am and is only home on (some) days before I close for a max of 15 minutes. I guess because he is not typically home during the hours I operate I have never really had an issue come up with it. We both work relatively the same hours which is really nice because we get the same hours off, but I am envious of some of you that has their dh home lots during the day. Oh how I wish! lol Maybe someday!
I actually wish my DH worked the same hours I did! It's nice sometimes; when he actually wants to help and play with the kids. But it definitely has it's downsides. When my DH is home, sometimes he just wants to REST! He can't really do that b/c his home is not his home during daycare hours. It's loud, there are kids everywhere, and it's not really a "relaxing" environment! So, often in his time off, he locks himself in our room to relax. This is fine and I totally understand, but that is also the only time I have to spend with him sometimes b/c he works nights often. So I often don't ever get to really interact with my husband. But then, if I had a corporate job with the same daycare hours, I would actually never see him!
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Old 02-29-2012, 08:45 AM
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My husband is my back up. I have a Dr. appt. on Friday and will be gone most of the morning. He changes diapers and everything!
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Old 02-29-2012, 11:24 AM
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To me its not really any of there business if he is home or not but sometimes I will mention it if it fits the conversation. In Nevada anyone in the house 18 or older must have a background chk, and tb test. I have only ever had a very few parents say anything. Knowone was weirded out by it that I could tell. As others have said its there home to! Mostly if my husband is home he is in our bedroom but not always.
Debbie
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  #41  
Old 02-29-2012, 11:27 AM
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renodeb renodeb is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by laundrymom View Post
I am a family childcare home. If you don't like the family part, don't let the door hit ya, where the good Lord........
Amen to that sister! My husband works in retail so the hours are crazy. When he is home he likes to play with the kids and on accasion is the back up. Like others have said,he is the fun guy! The kids love him.
Debbie
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Old 03-01-2012, 07:24 AM
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DCBlessings27 DCBlessings27 is offline
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DCParents have never had a problem if my husband was home. He did see one eating a restaurant once and say hi. DCM popped her head up really quickly to see why a man was saying hi to her daughter.

My husband is rarely home, but my dc kids love when he is. I try to have him present at every interview to meet the kids and to protect me from being home alone when I'm interviewing. My dc kids will ask where he is sometimes because they love him so much! He was home yesterday for an hour because he had an eye doctor appt and then came home after it. They were doing everything they could to get his attn. He was a little unnerved though by what he called the "zombie attack." He was trying to use the restroom, and the 2 youngest followed him down the hall, banging on the door and twisting the doorknob!

IN CA anyone over the age 18 that resides in your home must go through all of the same background checks as the provider.

In KS, we have to put our child on the KBI background check as soon as they turn 10. Anyone over 18 has to have the TB test and background check.

Last edited by DCBlessings27; 03-01-2012 at 07:26 AM. Reason: Adding to it
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