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Old 04-03-2014, 12:47 PM
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Default Scared and Won’t Stop Crying, WWYD?

I have a son who is almost 18, 6ft 3 and very dark skin. He is the biggest gentle giant you will ever meet and every one of the DCKS love him but one.

This DCK is PT 1/2 days 3 days a week for preschool only.

DCK scream cries when she sees my son, who loves playing with the kids. Normally he is at school, but every break from school that he is here, this DCK does this.

I have tried to show her that there is nothing to be afraid of, but it does not work, nothing works. If my son even comes near the DC she flips out.

So my question is, what do I do? It's been over 1.5 hours and she is still flipping out. Not as bad, but just won't stop crying.

My son is not going anywhere, he is going to live at home while he attends college, so I am picturing that our summer is going to be He!! with this DCK doing this every time she is here.

The DCM is aware of this issue but always says oh well she will get over it. She does it every time there is a break and she has been here since Sept. Well she isn't and I was about to send her home, but no one picked up and she goes home in about 45 min anyways.

WWYD? Terming would work, but I would prefer to not try and find another kid.
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Old 04-03-2014, 12:58 PM
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TwinKristi TwinKristi is offline
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Put up with the screaming or term... I don't see many other options. If this has been happening for 6 months I doubt it will stop soon. I had a DCB who cried every time someone came in the door! But it stopped after a few days really. He was still very skittish and cried and clung to me a lot, but it wasn't as severe as you're describing. I can't imagine dealing with that.
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Old 04-03-2014, 12:59 PM
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I think the problem has been prolonged because she isn't there enough to really get used to him. She WILL eventually get over her fear, but it will take longer because she doesn't see him regularly. I would have him spend some time playing with the other kids where she can see their interactions and see he's good guy instead of scary. It might help the process along. Good luck!
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Old 04-03-2014, 01:07 PM
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Kabob Kabob is offline Member
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I have an almost 2 yo dcg that is like this with new people especially men. So new any new dcd that even looked at her would freak her out for hours after they left. She has gotten over it though after being here long enough to put a lot of trust in me and also I learned how to deal with it before she got to the point of freaking out. Basically I would instruct the new person to not look at her and to go about their business. Then I would engage her in a favorite activity. If she started to get nervous I would let her sit on my lap during the activity or give her a hug and remind her to go play. Her mom still has trouble with dcg freaking out around new people though which I noticed only happens with dcm if dcg picks up on her mom being nervous about dcg freaking out so dcg freaks out if you catch my drift. So basically, you gotta be calm to keep her calm...
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Old 04-03-2014, 03:03 PM
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But after 6 mos???
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Old 04-03-2014, 03:25 PM
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I have two children who used to scream and cry the entire time around my dh. My dh is strange looking to them....he is Asian and they are white, it happens frequently with him; whereas some small children in HIS family have had the same reaction to me (I am white with very blonde hair ). Anyway, it took a long time and a lot of forced interactions with them together. He is my back-up provider so it really had to work. On a couple of occasions, I would take the kids out on walks and leave the crying child with him. This got the kids used to him quicker IMO. Now they both love him! I say give it some more time and force them together every chance you can get (especially if it's a fun activity they can do together)!
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crying, screaming, stranger danger, stranger fear

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