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  #1  
Old 09-17-2010, 06:19 PM
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Default Dealing with whiners and Criers

We have an almost 4 yr old in our care who is constantly whining or crying over the least little tiniest thing. It drives me insane! The constant tears.. for something as simple as someone brushing up against her she will turn on the fake cry (no tears, just the loud "cry" sound). "UUUUHHHH! _______ pushed me! UUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHH!" And tattles over EVERYTHING! "_________ pinched me", "________ hit me", "_________ called me a baby". I'm talking as in all the time! She even turns on the "cry" when all the swings are taken, and she hasn't even bothered to ask if she can have a turn. She cries/whines, "UUHH_____ won't let me have his swing". Like I mentioned, a push to her is something as simple as someone brushing against her accidentally as they walk past. I know we have a couple kids who do push a lot, and one pinches when he gets exasperated, but who wouldn't with the "fire engine cry" going on every two seconds? What kid isn't going to call another one a baby when they cry that often? I've seen her kick out at some of them before, too, so it's not like she's completely innocent, usually, when she tattles on someone. Sometimes they retaliate when she does something to them. She loves coming to daycare, so why would she cry so often? It gets so old. Takes all the peace right out of the day. She only comes 3 days a week, so the other day was a day she doesn't attend. It was so quiet and the kids were getting along so well. It seemed like we were missing several kids. Then I realized why!
What do you guys do to get a child out of the habit of crying SO much? I've used the, "I cant understand you when you cry" comment and everything, but it doesn't cut down on it. My patience can't take too much more of this constant 4 year old crying! It's so loud. There's enough commotion from the toddlers when they get tired and cranky. I don't need an older child to add to it! She also has this "no" thing going on. Will NOT listen when told to do something. She is obviously very spoiled. How do you deal with these types of children? I need some techniques to cut down on the whining, tatteling and crying. I know it's normal behavior for this age, but when it's constant, all day long, literally every 2 seconds...
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Old 09-17-2010, 07:40 PM
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I have the same thing. Just turned 3. All day, fights me on nap, fights me on the potty. Whines for everything. Tattles alllllllll day. She touched me, she is looking at me....uhhhhh I find that the longer she is here and gets more comfortable with us the worse it gets. Her mother has no authority over her at all. It's are you mad at me? Do you love me? Really? Don't have time for that here. I have 4 kids of my own! They know they cannot whine to get anything. I just ignore her whining. I guess if she finally sees she can't get anywhere with it she will stop. Just flat out ignore it.

Last edited by katie; 09-17-2010 at 07:40 PM. Reason: typo
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Old 09-17-2010, 09:33 PM
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I had the same problem with a 3 1/2 dcb. It finally got so bad that I told him that every time he wanted to whine and cry he had to go in the bathroom and shut the door-and he could do it as loud as he wanted in there, but my ears and head hurt and so did the other kids' and we did not want to hear him anymore! Not very professional, but I was SO over his screaming over every little thing. After a couple of days of spending a LOT of time screaming in the bathroom, he stopped!!!: Now every once in a while he'll start, and I'll just say "take that in the bathroom!" and he stops.
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Old 09-18-2010, 08:26 AM
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I've had this problem before and I stopped it by simply saying "Whinners Get Nothing" and turning my back. A few minutes later, I explain the proper way for the child to address the problem. After a few times, they learn that whinners will not get my attention and it stops.
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Old 09-18-2010, 09:58 AM
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I have the same problem and I have started telling dcg to use her big girl voice whenever she whines or starts crying seems to be working because she will stop what she is doing and talk to me in a normal voice.
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Old 09-18-2010, 10:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by momofsix View Post
I had the same problem with a 3 1/2 dcb. It finally got so bad that I told him that every time he wanted to whine and cry he had to go in the bathroom and shut the door-and he could do it as loud as he wanted in there, but my ears and head hurt and so did the other kids' and we did not want to hear him anymore! Not very professional, but I was SO over his screaming over every little thing. After a couple of days of spending a LOT of time screaming in the bathroom, he stopped!!!: Now every once in a while he'll start, and I'll just say "take that in the bathroom!" and he stops.
I have done this very same thing and it really works!!!!!!
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Old 09-18-2010, 02:28 PM
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I agree with Seashell.
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Old 09-19-2010, 05:20 AM
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What about when the cryer is only 16 months? I have this little guy that has been coming since June, when he is not crying I love him dearly but the crying is driving me nuts. Every time I leave the room, last week it was every time I moved even if I never left the room. He wants me to sit on the floor with him and the others and not move. If I move he cries, not just a little cry either, he blobbers and follows me where I go. It was starting to get better but now last week was just a nightmare, he usually only comes 2 days per week but this week they want to bring him 4 days and I am dreading it. I hate to feel that way, how do I get him to stop?

Sorry, I didn't mean to steal the post.
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Old 09-19-2010, 11:15 AM
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Miss Joy - I must have the same kid!!! He's 20 months, has very few words and CRIES. ALL. THE. TIME. He's also here only 2 days/week and I just have to grin and bear it. His parents are wonderful and his baby sister (7 months) is an absolute doll. I don't get it! He's also my hitter - he starts flailing his arms when he cries and hits anyone/anything in his path. Drives me nuts.

I wish I had some words of advice for you, but all I can offer is a "You're not alone!" Hang in there - they'll grow out of it! (Right??)
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Old 09-19-2010, 07:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
I have the same problem and I have started telling dcg to use her big girl voice whenever she whines or starts crying seems to be working because she will stop what she is doing and talk to me in a normal voice.
I like that! I might start using that and see if it makes a difference. The other kids sometimes call her a baby and then she tattles on them. I want to tell her that she cries like a baby does instead of "using her words", and that's why they call her a baby. But of course that wouldn't be right! So telling her to use her big girl voice just might work... (she is very babied, so she may not care to "be a big girl"), but most kids respond to "being a big girl/boy, so maybe it will make a difference for her, too. Thank you for the suggestions everyone!
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Old 09-20-2010, 07:12 AM
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I tell all the whiners that I have come across that "I do not speak Whinese" it turns into a funny thing and they then use their normal voices!! I say it in my most whinyest, annoying voice I can!I tell my constant tattlers what they can say to the other child to solve their issues, after doing this so many times I just tell them to not tell me go work it out between themselves!! I also ignore the constant crying and it seems to diminish much faster, easier said than done however!! Good Luck!
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Old 09-20-2010, 04:17 PM
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I had 3yo DCG that did this also and I did something similar to the bathroom thing but instead of the bathroom it was a step that I called the crying corner. In CA all children need to be together and supervised so I wouldn't be able to have a child go into another room and close the door so I have a step instead that has a basket near it with a turtle named "tattling turtle". Anyone wants to tattle or cry, they do it there. Tattling turtle is a GREAT listener. I tell them he doesn't ever ignore you, or talk back or interrupt you when youre talking. If they want to cry, they also do it there. That's the only place that they are allowed to cry. I don't mind if they cry, even if it's a blood-curdling cry, as long as they are in the crying corner. Once a child starts to whine or whimper I ask them if they'd like to sit in the crying corner and that usually stops them in their tracks. If they continue to cry I walk them over and have them sit. The key is consistency.
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