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Old 06-01-2017, 08:53 PM
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Ariana Ariana is offline
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Default Feeling Angry!

Kid came yesterday acting weird. Fine figured he was overtired, the usual. Didn't take his temp because he did not seem unwell and was not warm. Outside he suddenly starts screaming clutching his ear. I figured a bug maybe? No idea why he did that. Text mom to ask her how his morning was and to let her know what happened. She immediately asks if he has a fever, which I thought was odd. He goes down for nap, no fever. Wakes up with 102F fever. I give Advil and text for pickup. No response. I give child Advil as he is really lethargic with labored breathing. I call. Mom is on her way but doesn't seem alarmed at all. Now I am suspecting dope and drop. Ask them to let me know how he is doing in the morning.

Morning comes and I get text from dad "I'm bringing them this morning, will be there at 8". Ummmm???? So I ask how kid is doing. "Fine doesn't seem to have a fever, slept all night"....????? LIE. Ever see a kid with 102 fever just miraculously not become sick??? Me neither. I write back "Ok as long as he is fever free without medications and is otherwise acting and feeling fine he can come today. It is unusual to have a high fever without being sick but hopefully that is the case." Dad writes back, "ok I will check his temp". Then 2 seconds later "he still has a temp will keep him home"

It is so frustrating. This is my good family. They brought the sick brother last week and I had to call for pickup. Not sure what to do here because they were clearly lying and trying to drop him off with a fever. Not only that but when mom came to pick up the younger brother she told me they took older brother to a clinic and he has an ear infection. So I say "so he slept all night with an ear infection?" And she said "well he woke up once, Dave gave him advil and he went right back to sleep" Not once did anyone mention this!

They clearly were trying to get away with something here. What would you do in this situation? Just let it go, lesson learned or should I term or say something? I feel pretty ticked....but happy I caught them in the act of lying.
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Old 06-01-2017, 09:14 PM
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Mike Mike is offline
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I just posted in the other thread that unless desperate for the money, I think lying equals terming, but you say "This is my good family". If lying isn't something they normally do, you could tell them why sending a sick kid isn't a good idea and give them 1 warning about covering up.
Children are little angels, even when they are little devils.
They are also our future.
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Old 06-02-2017, 03:33 AM
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childcaremom childcaremom is offline
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If it is your policy to administer meds.... the parents put their child at risk by not telling you that he had meds on board. PLUS for me, it's a term worthy offense to dope and drop. It's term worthy to knowingly send an ill child to care. It's term worthy to withhold information that affects the health of their child.

I would be most worried that you administered meds not knowing that he had been meds before. I know it's your policy but I think that this is an area where the liability to you is so increased because these parents lie/forget/omit info.

I would be terming, myself. I don't need concrete evidence of a dope and drop. I don't need proof. In this particular situation there would be enough circumstances to no longer trust this family and I would not want to continue providing care to them. I would not trust them to put their child's health first. I would not trust them to prioritize my personal and business liability.

And I would explain it as:
1. They sent the child when ill and medicated.
2. They didn't tell you the above.
3. They put their child at risk because you ended up dosing child for a fever.
4. Tried to send back the next day. (If I send home, it's a 48 hour exclusion minimum. So 48 hours without meds.)
5. They clearly just don't get it (or are pretending not to so that they can send their child and go to work).

They put you at risk (not just their child) by withholding this information. And really, who forgets that their child is sick? No one. These parents didn't. The question: Does he have a fever? proves it enough for me.

You said that they need constant reminders of policies. I would argue that it's not difficult to understand that a sick child needs to be kept home. It is not difficult to know when your child is sick.

There is enough liability in this business as it is. I don't take lightly when parents put me even more at risk by lying/forgetting/omitting relevant info about their child's health.

You said that this is your good family. If you plan to keep them, I would be clear and upfront that this is a final warning. Due to above reasons, you no longer will be administering meds while he is in your care. He must not come ill and/or with meds on board. That any further infractions will result in an immediate term.

As an aside.... I think your illness policy, or your enforcement of it, may be causing these parents confusion. If meds are administered in daycare I could see that they may think it's ok to send with meds. If they call the next day to say they are coming and you don't say no.... do you not have an exclusion period? If you don't think he should not be back in care, say so. If you don't enforce your exclusion period, they will keep sending him back.
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Old 06-02-2017, 03:43 AM
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childcaremom childcaremom is offline
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Ok. Reread other info.

Stick a fork in me, I'd be done.

I stick by my first advice. No need for a chat. These parents are not as clueless as they would like you to think they are.
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Old 06-02-2017, 07:18 AM
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Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
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Originally Posted by childcaremom View Post
Ok. Reread other info.

Stick a fork in me, I'd be done.

I stick by my first advice. No need for a chat. These parents are not as clueless as they would like you to think they are.
I think this becomes a behavior that many parents hone.
They seem to spend more time figuring out ways to get others to do things or take care of things for them by feigning helplessness or "I didn't know..."

If we applied this same behavior to a DCK, we would react much differently. I wonder why we (general we, as caregivers) tend to allow or accept this type of behavior from an adult but not a child.

Ariana~ I'd term for this but if you don't want to or don't feel it's the right time/response....I would definitely take time to have a sit down conference with BOTH parents and explain to them the position they put you in with their lack of responsibility and open communication.

If you feel the relationship isn't permanently damaged, a conference reiterating your feelings about this whole thing would be the only way I would be able to move forward and attempt to rebuild the trust...kwim?

managing the parent/provider relationship IS hard.
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Old 06-02-2017, 08:18 AM
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Snowmom Snowmom is offline Member
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Yep... everything all the PP said.

I wouldn't just let it go.
The first thing coming out of my mouth in this situation is: "If you give your child any kind of fever masking medication such as tylenol or advil and attempt to drop them off in my care, I will terminate our contract immediately without refunds. It is disrespectful to me and your child."

I would say it with my b!tch face too. You know the one.

With these types of people, you need to say the words, not just write them.
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Old 06-02-2017, 08:20 AM
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daycarediva daycarediva is offline Member
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I would term, they put you AND their child at risk.

I agree with BC though, IF you move forward, I would have a conference and discuss the entire situation and put them on notice. ANY miscommunications about health, or bringing sick children will not be tolerated.
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Old 06-02-2017, 08:47 AM
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Ariana Ariana is offline
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Thank you everyone for your input. They have really put me in a terrible spot and I am not one to take this lightly.

If I go over the whole scenario giving them the benefit of the doubt (because they are my good family and I cannot say for sure they gave meds and dropped him off that first day) then I think just a stern talking to is warranted. If I go over the scenario thinking they were tyring to pull something then I want to just term. I feel like I need a forensic team

I really need to think on this one. It is their first offence and they have been so good up to this point. I also have no clue how much mom and dad communicate in the morning so it possibly could have been dad not knowing what to do and thinking he could drop off with a fever. I agree that my policy with regards to fever needs to be a bit more clear. Don't want to make excuses for them either though....

Why do parents do these things
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Old 06-02-2017, 06:42 PM
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Mom2Two Mom2Two is offline Member
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This would make me so angry i'm not sure I could stand even laying eyes on the people again. I have a family who has brought sick kids and concealed, but not quite as bad as what you're saying. I came very close to terming.

I'm thinking of adding a column to my sign in sheet that asks parents to list any medications given in the past 48 hours. Or maybe a check box that says no meds in the past 48 hours. Just a little something to confront the situation a bit more and a bit more reminder that I don't do sick care.
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