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Old 08-28-2017, 08:27 PM
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mle721 mle721 is offline
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Default New Child Crying Most Of The Day

I have a new 2 year old daycare boy who started today. He was fine for the first hour after drop off. He was asking for him parents but not crying. After the other 2 boys were dropped off, he began whimpering and calling his mom more loudly. This went on for 2 hours. I tried dancing, music (worked for a couple min) drawing, food, water, a walk, bubbles (worked for a couple minutes) outdoor play. After 2 hours he started crying loudly for the next few hours
until his mom came back. It was starting to affect my own kids and the other daycare kids and was stressful to hear all that crying!

Does anyone have any advice? What have you done that's
helped? How long should I expect the transition to take? Would it be mean to put him in a pack n play if he refuses to stop crying after an hour (assuming he has a clean diaper and isn't hungry or thirsty?) I know the transition must be so tough for him but he's already having negative effects on the other kids.
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Old 08-29-2017, 03:22 AM
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Josiegirl Josiegirl is offline
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Oh man, that's so hard. On everybody. Has he been in daycare before? I have had a 17 mo over the summer, first time in dc, but thankfully her older sister was here. She was our saving grace. And even with older sister here, it took the dcg a few weeks to get into the routine and to the point where she could wave out the window to mommy at d/o. Is there any way he can be transitioned in a fewer number of hours a day at first? I cannot think of anything else other than what you've already tried. Maybe have the parents send a picture that he can cling to all day? Could help or make it worse.

I'm sure you'll get better answers from wiser providers on here. If parents plan on using group care, I wish they'd do a better job of prepping their little ones for it.
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Old 08-29-2017, 04:14 AM
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He's never been to daycare. His grandmother has been his child care provider. His mom works in a school so she's been home with him all summer.
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Old 08-29-2017, 07:44 AM
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Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
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Do you have a normal daily schedule/routine that you follow?
How many other children do you have in care?

I would follow my normal schedule and continue trying to include him. Talking to him and inviting him to maybe come sit near you or to participate if he is willing.

Just continue doing that until he either stops crying and joins in or until his crying morphs into screaming and it is unbearable for you/others. Then put him in PNP until he settles down. (talk to him the whole time...soothing him with words that you haven't abandoned him)

When he calms down, do the whole process over again.

He more than likely will settle in but look at it from his perspective...he feels abandoned with complete strangers that do not know him. He has no concept of time so has NO idea when mom will return for him. How scary!

Just try patiently and calmly to build that attachment with him. Once he understand you are here to care for him and meet his needs, he will begin to trust you and will feel more comfortable with you, your program and the other kids.

He will learn through consistency and routine that mom leave, Miss mle721 will take care of him, it's okay to have fun and mom WILL come back.

If you don't see any improvement after a set number of days (two weeks is the standard but not required) then I would consider making alternate decisions about how to manage this or if you should continue to try or not.

Good luck! New kids are hard! 2 yr olds seem to be one of the hardest.
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Old 08-29-2017, 01:20 PM
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EntropyControlSpecialist EntropyControlSpecialist is offline
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I understand. I'm currently there with a part time 4yo.

Time. That's what helps. Time. Do something you enjoy during it, though. If that's playing music loudly and dancing with the other kids do that. If it's going outside then do that.
I have parents review our schedule multiple times a day with their child at home when they're new. It helps them to know when their parent comes back much quicker and calms their little nerves down.
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Old 08-29-2017, 01:47 PM
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Around 18 months is a tough time for separation anxiety in general, add never being in group care to the mix and I honestly would have thought twice about enrolling him at all.

Be honest with Mom- it's going to be a tough transition. Mom SHOULD have started to prepare him in summer. Drop in care at the Y, maybe a few hours here and there with you, etc.

Now all you can do is wait. IGNORE the crying beyond a quick "your mom will come get you after ____" and go on about your routine as if he wasn't crying. HARD to do, I know. I've been there!
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Old 08-30-2017, 08:02 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daycarediva View Post
Around 18 months is a tough time for separation anxiety in general, add never being in group care to the mix and I honestly would have thought twice about enrolling him at all.

Be honest with Mom- it's going to be a tough transition. Mom SHOULD have started to prepare him in summer. Drop in care at the Y, maybe a few hours here and there with you, etc.

Now all you can do is wait. IGNORE the crying beyond a quick "your mom will come get you after ____" and go on about your routine as if he wasn't crying. HARD to do, I know. I've been there!
I am currently doing this with a 15 month old. He was in a center before coming to me, but add in a cold and molars coming in on top of a new group of kids and a new caregiver and it is a cry fest.

Yesterday was really rough, but now today (his 6th day) he is crying less, and I know it isn't so real because he turns it off to chat with a kid or play with a toy, only to instantly turn it on when I make a move. I reassure him that I am not leaving him, that he will be ok here with his new friends, and that mom will be back after snack and then I rinse and repeat.
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