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  #1  
Old 08-24-2018, 11:06 AM
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thelearningtreetx thelearningtreetx is offline
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Default My 2 Year Old Is The Problem....

I need help. I am LOSING MY MIND!

I currently care for 5 children (2 of my own) and am expecting a 6 week old in about a month and a half (DCG). All the daycare kids are FINE...the problem is MY daughter (2.5).

Let me give you a little background to help you understand better. I have been in childcare/education for 10+ years. I had previously owned and operated my home daycare before closing during my divorce 5 years ago. I worked outside the home for 5 years and during that time my current DH and I had two daughters (2 and 1). For the first year of my 2 year old's life (we'll call her "K"), she was with me at work. After leaving that job and having her little sister, both of them went to a home daycare while I worked as a preschool teacher. Now, I will say this home daycare wasn't "elite", didn't offer a curriculum or learning activities, but that wasn't what I was looking for. I wanted a cozy, home environment for my daughters where they felt at home and loved....and they did.

Fast forward to this summer, I decided to open my own home daycare (again) because my salary was barely enough to cover them both going to daycare and I wanted to be home with them (as I was with my older two kids). This month I started 3 new children (2, 1, and 8 months). "K" has always been a difficult child. Strong willed, opinionated and just TOUGH. I thought maybe the daycare I had put her in was the cause (not a lot of structure, no routine, no discipline), but now I know I was wrong. She is constantly taking toys, pushing kids, throwing tantrums (like 15-20 minutes of screaming her head off), doing things she KNOWS she shouldn't be doing, even after I get onto her. If it was just my two kids at home with me, while it would still be hard, I would be able to be 100% attentive to the behavior. Unfortunately, with the daycare kids here, it does pull some of my attention away from her. The 2 year old also copies EVERYTHING she does which makes the day twice as hard.

I'm at a loss. I find myself in tears at the end of the day because she is SO hard and I feel like all I have done all day is yell at her. Closing daycare is NOT an option. I have put a lot of time and money into this and it is the best possible financial solution for my family, but I can't end each day like this.

I feel like I have tried everything. Conscious Discipline, time out, special time for just her and I, talking to her, taking away items etc. I am just banging my head against the wall every.single.day.

I know a large part is her personality...she is the strongest willed child I have ever met and I have worked with hundreds of children (including those with special needs). I don't want to crush her spirit, but I also can't have my daycare kids standing on tables or dumping bubbles all over the floor everyday.

Please help. ANY advice is greatly appreciated.
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  #2  
Old 08-24-2018, 11:23 AM
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Cat Herder Cat Herder is offline
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I added tags to old posts on this topic. There are MANY.

Please don't be offended by the term "center brats". It was a tongue-in-cheek title for employees kids back in the day. It was meant as defusing humor as they are well known for being the most difficult and no one gets out unscathed. Not the teacher, not the parent.

Kids who must share their parent for a majority of the day have a specific set of known issues. We also seem to have higher expectations of them.
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Old 08-24-2018, 11:33 AM
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Ariana Ariana is offline
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Our own kids are always the worst which is why I did this part time until now. It is just too hard juggling other peoples kids needs with my own kids needs. My kids were not bad at all but they have an expectation because I am their mom and they are at home.

Even now I have to tell my 9 year old “its ok to do that once the daycare kids go home”. Rules are just different during daycare and it can be hard for some kids to adapt. Kids also act out when they are jealous. I have a DCG acting out today because the new baby started today....she is not even my kid!

I woukd suggest, if you really have tried everything, to scale back on the amount of kids you have or get help in some way. Another option would be to have a strict routine where every hakf hour is accounted for. No “free play”.
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Old 08-24-2018, 11:36 AM
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Annalee Annalee is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cat Herder View Post
I added tags to old posts on this topic. There are MANY.

Please don't be offended by the term "center brats". It was a tongue-in-cheek title for employees kids back in the day. It was meant as defusing humor as they are well known for being the most difficult and no one gets out unscathed. Not the teacher, not the parent.

Kids who must share their parent for a majority of the day have a specific set of known issues. We also seem to have higher expectations of them.
Absolutely agree! My second was better during daycare because I was better with him. Funny thing is, I learned to "chill" a little from my licensor.
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Old 08-24-2018, 11:41 AM
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thelearningtreetx thelearningtreetx is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cat Herder View Post
I added tags to old posts on this topic. There are MANY.

Please don't be offended by the term "center brats". It was a tongue-in-cheek title for employees kids back in the day. It was meant as defusing humor as they are well known for being the most difficult and no one gets out unscathed. Not the teacher, not the parent.

Kids who must share their parent for a majority of the day have a specific set of known issues. We also seem to have higher expectations of them.
Not offended AT ALL! I was actually going to use the "brat" word but I didn't want anyone to think I was a horrible mama! Thanks for the advice everyone!
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Old 08-24-2018, 01:23 PM
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Jiminycrickets Jiminycrickets is offline
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My now-kindergartener was the same way, to the point where I ended up sending him to half-day preschool 3 days a week to alleviate some of the stress on both me and him.
If you've only been open this summer, and got a bunch more kids just this month, she may still be adjusting, too. My 3-year-old also acted out a lot when we first started getting more kids (he was fine when it was just a couple at first) and I was so frustrated and upset that my kids were both the "worst ones." After a few more months YDS worked it out and now he is pretty chill and easy-going most of the time.
It is super hard when you're trying to do the best for your family and you feel like you're letting them anyway.
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Old 08-24-2018, 05:23 PM
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Pestle Pestle is offline
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Well, this week I'm back to spending a third of my income on private school because trying to raise my own child in my own daycare turned my happy child into a miserable rage monster.
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Old 08-24-2018, 07:34 PM
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jenboo jenboo is offline
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I have the easiest going toddler... until daycare turned him into a monster. I opened it when he was 9 months. by 18ish months it was getting rough. My husband did the daycare with me too. We both hated our child during the daycare day (it was horrible and made me so sad). We ended up hiring an assistant so my husband or I could take our son out for the first half of the day. He loved the one on one time with us. Although we still ended up closing the daycare (for a few reasons but a big one was our son's behavior). Now he is as happy as can be again.
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